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Form  No.  471 


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THE    BLACK    HOMER    OF 
JIMTOWN 


r^e  BLACK  HOMER 

./  J  I  M  T  O  W  N 


By  Ed.  Mott 

AUTHOR    OF    ''PIKE    COUNTY  FOLKS'' 
''THE     OLD     SETTLER,''    ETC.,   ETC. 


GROSSET    &    DUNLAP 

ELEVEN  EAST  SIXTEENTH  STREET 
NEW    YORK     :     :     :     :     :     :     :     :     igoo 


These  sketches  originally  appeared  in  the  columns  Oi 
The  New  York  Sun,  and  the  author  and  publishers  wish 
to  acknowledge  the  courtesy  of  the  editor  in  permitting 
their  publication  in  book  form. 


Copyright,  1898  and  1S99,  by 
The  Sun  Printing  and  Publishing  Association. 


Copyright,  1900,  by  Grosset  &  Dunlap. 


JiMTOWN  is  in  the  piney  woods,  where  the 
air  is  soft  and  dry  and  balmy,  and  people  live 
long.  The  Black  Homer  dwells  there.  If  you 
should  journey  that  way,  you  may  find  him  at 
his  cabin,  or  perhaps  at  work  in  the  turpen- 
tine woods.  Look  him  up,  and  it  m.ay  be  that 
he  will  tell  you  tales  like  these,  if  not  some 
that  will  be  still  more  startling,  of  the  days  his 
old  mammy  and  Mahs'  McKeever  were  wont  to 
remember,  either  personally  or  by  proxy. 

The  Author. 


^0*50  \5^ 


CONTENTS. 


PAGE. 

The  Rise  and  Fall  of  Absalom 7 

The  Man  from  Caloosa-Hatchee 23 

V A  Plague  of  Egypt 35 

Persecuted  Sandy  Bunn 49 

Polite  Simson  Cowlip 63 

Poor  Bear's  Bad  Brother 81 

The  Selfish  Gobbler 95 

A  Vanished  Heap  of  Gold 1 1 1 

The  Jug  of  Live-Forever  Water 127 

Saved,  by  the  Man  in  the  Moon 141 

One-eye  Pete  Neaffie's  Parrot 155 

vScornful  Sue  and  Lean  Lucinda 173                      \ 

King  Bip 1S9 

The  Bones  of  Bozar  Bunn 207 

The  Cranky  Crane 223      , 

Little  Davy 239 

Headless  Ghost  that  Walked  with  a  Crutch 261 

Snuffy  Sam's  Kingdom 273 


THE  RISE  AND  FALL  OF 
ABSALOM. 


i 


THE  RISE  AND  FALL  OF  ABSALOM. 


The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown  Introduces  Mahs' 
McKeever  by  an  Impressive  Temperance  Tale 
from  the  Cape  Fear  Country, 

No,  suh,  I  doan'  bean  bo'n  in  dis  hyuh  tah- 
pentine  belt  on  de  sand  hills  o'  de  piney  woods. 
No,  suh.  I  done  spreng  up  'way  down  yon  in 
de  Cape  Fair  kentry,  yeahs  an'  yeahs  'fo'  de 
wah,  suh.  An'  I  done  spreng  up  on  de  ol' 
McKeevuh  plahntation,  whah  Mahs'  IMcKeevuh's 
fadduh  an'  he  fadduh's  fadduhs  dey  done  spreng 
up,  too,  ginerations  an'  ginerations  of  'em,  an' 
whah  my  ol'  mammy  an'  huh  mammy,  an'  huh 
mammy's  mammy,  I  reckon,  dey  done  spreng  up 
an'  flo'rish  an'  pahs  away  ovuh  Jo'dan  w'en  dey 
time  it  come  to  pahs  away — an'  dey  pahs  aw^ay 
happy,  too,  so  dey  do,  suh  !  IMighty  fine  times 
we  use  to  have  down  dah,  suh !  An'  Mahs' 
McKeevuh !     Duh    nevuh    bean    setch    a    man 


10  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

lack  he  bean  !  I  got  oodles  an'  oodles  o'  tings 
I  kin  tell  yo'  'bout  dat  man  an'  de  wun'ful  skiv- 
ellations  he  know  bout  defambly  an'  de  plahn- 
tations,  an'  de  crackinacious  tings  he  say  an'  do  ! 
Wun'ful,  suh  !  Wun'ful  man,  Mahs'  McKeevuh 
done  bean,  an'  duh  hain'  bean  no  glimmuh  nor 
glammuh  down  yon,  suh,  since  he  glide  to  de 
udduh  sho',  an'  de  plahntation  it  doan'  be  Mahs' 
McKeevuh's  no  mo'. 

Mahs'  McKeevuh  done  give  me  a  pow'ful 
temp'unce  lectchuh  one  time  down  yon,  an'  I 
done  fight  mighty  shy  o'  'simmon  beeuh,  an' 
scup'nong  wine,  an'  peach  an'  honey,  an'  w'ite 
co'n  lickuh,  suh,  ev'  sence  dat  time.  Jicketty ! 
Peahs  to  me  lack  I  nevuh  did  heah  tell  o'  setch 
a  temp'unce  lectchuh  lack  dat  lectchuh  done 
bean  !  Ef  all  de  cullud  folks  in  de  piney 
woods  kin  have  setch  a  temp'unce  lectchuh 
lack  dat,  duh  done  bean  a  powuhful  sight  mo' 
nigguhs  in  de  meetin'  house,  suh,  hoUuh'n 
'  Glory  ! '  an'  a  mighty  sight  less  of  'em  snickin' 
to  de  cock  fight  wiv  a  razuh  in  dey  pocket ! 
Yes,  suh  !     Sho's  yo'  bo'n  ! 

Long  time  sence  de  wah,  Mahs'  McKeevuh — • 
co'se,  he  doan'  bean  Mahs'  McKeevuh  no  mo' 
den,  but  we  des'  natch'ly  call  him  mahsuh  'kase 


The  Rise  and  Fall  of  Absalom,  ii 

we  cain't  get  out'n  de  way  of  it,  an'  he  mighty 
fine  man — ]\lahs'  McKeevuh  he  done  t'ink  he 
go  up  No'th  an'  see  how  t'ings  lookin'  up  dah, 
an'  he  kim  home  bahmby  tickle  mos'  to  deff 
ovuh  a  feesh  pond  w'at  he  done  see  on  a  man's 
plahntation  up  dah,  an'  he  tu'n  to  an'  meek  a 
feesh  pond  fo'  he  ownseff  right  in  de  do'  yahd. 
An'  he  sen'  an'  he  git  gold  feesh  an'  silvuh 
feesh  an'  red  feesh  an'  streaky  feesh  an'  craw- 
feesh,  heaps  an'  heaps  of  'em,  an'  tu'n  'em  in  de 
pond,  an'  dey  'peah  mighty  fine,  de  way  dey 
scoot  an'  scrummage  an'  ramificate  roun'  in  dat 
pond,  suh — mighty  fine!  Den,  one  day  Mahs' 
iNIcKeevuh  he  cotch  in  he  net  a  monst'us  big 
mullet,  an'  he  tu'n  de  mullet  in  de  pond.  De 
mullet  he  root  an'  poke  he  snoot  roun'  on  de 
bottom,  an'  he  so  despu't  bad  lookin'dat  mahsuh 
he  teck  a  great  shine  to  him  an'  name  him 
Absalom. 

One  day  Mahs'  ]\IcKeevuh  he  bean  watchin' 
Absalom  pokin'  he  snoot  roun'  an'  roun'  an'  in 
an'  out,  des'  lack  he  bean  sahchin'  fo'  sufiin'  an' 
he  cain't  fine  it,  an'  bahmby  mahsuh  say : 

"  Tony,"  he  say,  "  'peahs  to  me  dat  dah  feesh 
done  bean  mighty  dry.  Dat  feesh  bean  lookin' 
fo'  a  drink  o'  suffin,  sho's  yo'  bo'n  !  "  he  say. 


12    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

I  have  to  snickuh  w'en  mahs'  he  say  dat,  an'  I 
tink  to  myseff :  "  Guess  yo'  bean  lookin'  fo' 
suffin'  to  drink  yo'  ownseff,  Mahs'  McKeevuh, 
an'  done  foun'  it,  suh  !  "     But  I  say  : 

*'  Sho,  mahsuh  !  "  I  say.  "  Feesh  dey  doan' 
drink  nuffin'  !  Ef  dey  do,  ain'  day  got  de  hull 
pond  to  he'p  deyseffs  in  ?  " 

"Tony,"  Mahs'  McKeevuh  say,  "dat  mullet 
Absalom  he  know  too  much  to  drink  wahtah  !  " 
an'  mahsuh  go  to  de  house.  Bahmby  he  kim 
back  wiv  a  bottle  o'  milk,  an'  he  done  fit  a  noz- 
zle on  it,  suh.  Den  he  shove  dat  nozzle  down  in 
de  pond,  an'  Absalom  he  cock  he  eye  up  at  it  a 
spell,  an'  den  he  wiggle  up  an'  grab  it.  He  suck 
he  big  mouf  fullo'  milk,  but 'peaks  he  doan'  lack 
it,  an'  he  sput  it  out  an'  wiggle  back  to  de  bot- 
tom an' look  up  at  Mahs'  McKeevuh  des'  lack  he 
done  bean  'gusted  wiv  him.  I\Iahs'  he  lie  back 
an'  snickuh  an'  chuckle. 

"  Absalom  he  done  t'ink  I  teck  him  fo'  a  calf," 
mahsuh  say,  "  an'  he  doan'  lack  it !  I  reckon 
dat  dat  feesh  know  a  heap,"  mahsuh  say,  "  an'  I 
des'  gwan  to  see  how  peeuht  he  done  bean." 

Den  mahs'  he  ponduh  in  his  mind  an'  bahmby 
he  say  : 

"Tony,"  he   say,   *'I    done  b'lieve    dls    hyuh 


The  Rise  and  Fall  of  Absalom.  13 

Absalom  know  so  much  dat  'simmon  beeuh  des' 
gwan  to  set  good  on  he  system  !  " 

Now  I  des'  pinin'  fo'  'simmon  beeuh  my  own- 
seff,  'kaze  I  know  de  heaps  o'joy  duh  bean  in  it, 
an'  I  cain't  satiate  myseff  to  t'ink  Alahs'  Mc- 
Keevuh  done  gwan  to  cas'  he  beeuh  on  de  wah- 
tuhs  dat  a-way,  des'  fo'  dat  ol'  mud-snoot  mullet 
to  poke  he  nose  in,  an'  me  right  dah  a-quiv'n  an' 
a-shiv'n  fo'  des'  a  little  sniff  of  it  my  ownseff,  an' 
I  holluh  : 

"  Go  'way,  Mahs'  McKeevuh !  "  I  holluh. 
"  Dat  monst'us  foolish,  suh  !  Doan'  yo'  go 
squanduh  'simmon  beeuh  on  a  clay-rootin'  feesh 
w'at  ain'  got  no  lips  to  smack  ovuh  it,  suh,  an' 
cain't  feel  its  snap.  Dat  de  mos'  onciv'lized 
pusseedin'  I  evuh  did  heah  of  sence  de  wah, 
suh.'' 

But  mahs'  he  des'  grin  an'  say  :  "  Tony,"  he 
say,  **  I  done  b'lieve  dis  hyuh  Absalom  know  so 
much  dat  'simmon  beeuh  des'  gwan  to  set  good 
on  he  system,"  an'  he  skittuh  in  de  house,  git  a 
bottle  o"  'simmon  beeuh,  squeeze  de  nozzle  on  it, 
an'  p'int  it  down  in  de  pond,  Absalom  he  cock 
he  eye  up  at  de  «ozzle,  an'  bahmby  he  wiggle 
heseff  up  to  it  wiv  no  mo'  life  in  him,  suh,  dan  a 
Peedee  nigguh  in  Augus'.      But  I  des'  weesh  yo' 


14    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

kin  see  dat  feesh  w'en  he  poke  he  nose  'gin  dat 
nozzle  an' git  one  sniff !  Jicketty  !  He  eyes  dey 
pop  open,  an'  he  fins  dey  rise  lack  dey  done 
been  eahs  on  a  skittish  hoss,  suh  !  Den  he  close 
he  snoot  on  dat  nozzle  an'  give  a  suck.  Mighty 
Gabr'el !  yo'  des'  ottuh  see  dat  feesh  den,  suh  ! 
He  leggo  de  nozzle  and  back  off  a  little  mite,  an' 
chaw  on  dat  'simmon  beeuh,  an'  roll  he  eyes  des 
lack  he  done  got  de  powuh  dat  blessed  minute 
an'  gwan  to  shout  "  Hallelooyuh  !  "  Den  he 
swash  up  'gin  dat  nozzle  ag'in,  shet  he  snoot  on 
it,  an'  suck  an'  suck,  an'  close  he  eyes,  an'  ope 
he  eyes,  an'  roll  he  eyes,  an'  try  to  pat  heseff  on 
de  belly  wiv  he  tail  till  duh  ain'  a  drap  o'  sim- 
mon beeuh  lef  in  de  bottle,  suh,  an'  Mahs'  Mc- 
Keevuh  des'  swoop  back  on  de  groun'  an'  roll 
an'  holluh  an'  kick  he  heels.     An'  he  holluh  : 

*'  Dah,  Tony  !  "  he  holluh.  "  Wat  I  done  tol' 
yo'  ?  Doan'  dat  feesh  know  enough  fo'  'simmon 
beeuh  to  set  good  on  he  system  ?" 

"'Peahs  lack  he  do,"  I  say.  "An'  I  knows 
des'  as  much  as  dat  feesh,  I  reckon,  Mahs'  Mc- 
Keevuh  ! "  I  say;  but  mahs'  he  so  desp'ut  boun' 
up  in  dat  mud-rootin'  ol'  mullet  dat  he  nevuh  did 
teck  de  hint,  suh.  An'  w'at  yo'  t'ink  dat  feesh 
done  do  ?     He  go  back  to  de  bottom,  an'  how  he 


The  Rise  and  Fall  of  Absalom.  15 

do  cut  up  didos  !  He  eyes  day  beige,  an  he  grin' 
lack  he  simple.  He  dive  at  de  goldfeesh,  an' 
de  silvuh  feesh,  an'  de  streaky  feesh,  an'  he  stan' 
on  he  haid  in  de  mud,  an'  wiggle  he  tail,  an'  teck 
on  shameful.  He  swash  up  to  de  top  an'  swish 
'way  outen  de  wahtuh,  an  tu'n  ovun  an'  ovuh, 
lack  he  bean  a  clown  in  de  succuss,  suh,  an'  ope 
he  mouf  des' lack  he  boun'to  holluh  an'  hoUuh  ! 

"  Jicketty ! "  >.Iahs'  ]\IcKeevuh  say,  w'en  he 
kin  quit  chucklin'  an'  rollin' :  "  Absalom  done 
try  to  sing  he  woan'  go  home  till  mo'nin',  sho's 
yo'  bo'n  !  " 

"  j\Iahs'  ISIcKeevuh,"  I  say,  "  dat  feesh  bean 
shameful  drunk,  suh  !  " 

"  Sho'ly  ! "  mahs'  he  say.  "  Di'n'  I  tol'  yo'  he 
done  know  a  heap  ?  " 

Den  I  go  way,  suh,  mighty  sad  an'  pow'ful 
disapp'inted.  Nex'  mo'nin'  I  go  ovuh  to  de 
pond,  an'  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  kim  down  dah. 
Absalom  he  lie  humped  up  'long  a  rock,  lookin' 
mighty  dunipy,  an'  lack  he  feel  monst'us  bad. 
He  haid  it  'peah  desp'ut  heavy,  an'  he  eyes  dey 
mos'  shet. 

"  Ho,  ho  !  "  mahs'  he  say.  "  'Peahs  lack  Ab- 
salom aln'  feelin'  peeuht  dis  mo'nin'.  I  spec' he 
done  need  a  eye-openuh,  Tony." 


i6   The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

An'  w'at  yo'  t'ink  Mahs'  McKeevuh  done  do, 
suh  ?  He  mix  a  pow'ful  hoot  o'  peach  an'  honey 
— a  pow'ful  hoot,  suh  !  Um-m-m-m — um  !  how 
it  do  meek  my  mouf  wahtuh  des  to  ketch  de  scent 
o'  dat  hoot !  He  mix  it,  an'  he  put  it  in  de  bot- 
tle, an'  he  fit  de  nozzle  on,  an'  he  push  it  down 
in  de  pond  fo'  dat  disgraceful  feesh  to  tampuh 
wiv,  suh  !  Absalom  he  stagguh  up  an'  guzzle  it 
lack  an  ol'  topuh,  an'  he  wiggle  back  an'  prance 
around  an'  show  heseff  an'  swagguh  'mongst  d' 
udduh  feesh  des'  lack  he  nevuh  did  feel  bad  in 
he  life  !  An'  how  dat  do  tickle  Mahs'  JMcKee- 
vuh  ! 

"Yah,  yah  !  "  mahsuh  chuckle.  "  Des'  lack  a 
So'th'n  gemmun,  suh  !  "  he  say. 

"  I  cain't  Stan'  setch  a  was'e  o'  soothin'  lickuh, 
suh,  'kase  it  shameful,  an'  I  skittuh  'way  fum 
dah.  But  Mahs'  jNIcKeevuh  des'  spen'  mos'  he 
time  c'rousin'  wiv  dat  monst'us  bad  feesh.  He 
fotch  out  he  scup'nong  wine,  an'  Absalom  guzzle 
dat  lack  he  been  fotch  up  to  it  from  de  cradle, 
suh.  Mahsuh  fotch  out  de  peach  an'  honey,  an' 
de  feesh  des'  natch'ly  at  home  wiv  dat  too.  Yo' 
cain't  go  ovuh  to  dat  pond  but  dah  bean  dat 
mullet  stagguh'n  roun'  an'  actin' shameful  ;  'kase 
he  full   o'   lickuh   de  hull  time,  suh,  an'   Mahs' 


The  Rise  and  Fall  of  Absalom,  i? 

McKeevuh  lyin'  back  an'  declah'n  to  goodness 
dat  feesh  know  des'  as  much  as  any  So'th'n  gem- 
mun  dah  is  from  Cape  Fair  to  ol'  V'ginny.  One 
day  Absalom  he  done  load  up  on  'simmon  beeuh 
an'  peach  an'  honey  an'  scup'nong  wine,  an'  den 
mahs'  he  fotch  out  he  w'ite  co"n  lickuh,  w'at 
been  made  back  yon  in  de  hills,  suh,  an'  done 
run  de  blockade,  too,  suh,  shu's  yo'  bo'n  !  Dat 
feesh  nevuh  do  have  none  o'  dat  w'ite  co'n  yit, 
an'  w'en  he  suck  a  snootful  froo  de  nozzle  he 
leggo  mighty  quick  an'  look  pow'ful  s'prise.  De 
wattuh  it  staht  fum  he  eyes,  an'  he  gape  like  he 
ritchin'  fo'  wind.  But  he  done  git  he  breff 
bahmby,  an'  he  snatch  dat  nozzle  ag'in  an' 
swamp  mo'n  five  finguhs  o'  dat  w'ite  co'n  fo'  he 
drap  it. 

"Jicketty!"  Mahs'  McKeevuh  say.  "Dat 
dah  feesh  done  got  a  soulbigguh'n  a  beef's  haht, 
suh  ! " 

But  dat  w'ite  co'n  it  done  teck  to  wuckin'  on 
Absalom  bahmby,  an'  sho  !  doan'  he  be  mussy ! 
He  git  full  o'  fight,  suh.  He  swush  'mongst  dem 
gold  feesh,  an'  dem  silvuh  feesh,  an'  dem  streaky 
feesh,  an'  he  shove  'em,  an'  he  punch  'em,  an'  he 
swat  'em.  Um-m-m-m-um  !  how  he  do  swat  dem 
po'  fish !  He  act  desp'ut,  suh,  an'  I  declah  I 
Z 


1 8  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

spec'  ev'  minute  dat  he  done  pull  a  razuh  !  De 
gold  feesh,  an'  de  silvuh  feesh,  an'  de  streaky 
feesh,  dey  done  squifile  away  an'  hide  bes'  dey 
kin,  an'  den  Absalom  he  tu'n  to  an'  pick  a  fuss 
wiv  one  o'  dem  crawfeesh.  Dat  crawfeesh  he 
ain'  dah  to  be  joggle  by  no  crazy  blind  drunk 
mud-snoot  mullet,  an'  he  des'  ritch  out  wiv  one 
claw  an'  clutch  Absalom  on  one  side  he  jaw,  an' 
ritch  out  wiv  he  udduh  claw  an'  clutch  Absalom 
on  d'  udduh  side  he  jaw,  an' he  hoi'  on  an'  pinch 
an'  nip  an'  squeeze  de  pow'fulles'  kyine,  an'  done 
lick  dat  big  mussy  feesh  so  quick  he  dunno 
waffo' he  livin',  an'  he  mighty  glad  to  stagguh  off 
an'  hide  'hind  a  rock  an'  nuss  he  so'  haid. 

"  'Peahs  lack  w'ite  co'n  been  a  leetle  too  on- 
soothin'  fo'  dat  feesh,"  Mahs'  T^IcKeevuh  say. 
"  He  strung  a  heap  too  fine  fo'  w'ite  co'n,"  he 
say. 

Absalom  he  nevuh  skittuh  out  fum  dat  rock 
till  evenin',  suh,  an'  den  mahs'  go  down  dah  an' 
push  down  a  bottle  o'  'simmon  beeuh.  De  feesh 
swiggle  a  moufful,  but  sput  it  out.  Mahs'  he 
t'ink  mebbe  Absalom's  system  bean  shuck  up  too 
much  fo'  'simmon  beeuh,  an'  he  push  down  some 
peach  an'  honey.  Dat  feesh  sco'n  it,  suh  !  Dat 
feesh  sco'n   peach   an'    honey !     Den   mahs'    he 


The  Rise  and  Fall  of  Absalom.  19 

t'ink  Absalom  pinin'  fo'  wine,  an'  he  fotch  out  de 
scup'nong.  Yo'  t'ink  dat  shameful  feesh  done 
look  at  scup'nong  ?  No,  suh  !  He  tu'n  up  he 
snoot  at  it !  An'  dah  bean  me,  suh,  pinin'  an' 
quiv'n  an  shiv'n  an'  hank'n  fo'  des'  one  lap  ! 

"  I  declah  !  "  Mahs'  McKeevuh  say.  "  'Peahs 
lack  dish  yuh  feesh  done  tu'n  ovuh  a  new  leaf  !  " 

But  mahs'  he  fotch  out  de  w'ite  co'n  lickuh 
an'  try  Absalom  vviv  dat.  Wat  yo'  tink,  suh  ? 
Dat  shameful  feesh  grab  dat  nozzle,  an'  he  suck 
an'  guzzle  an'  woan'  leggo  till  mahs'  tap  him 
two  free  times  on  he  haid  wiv  he  cane !  Mighty 
Gabr'el !  how  low  dat  feesh  done  sink !  And 
attuh  dat  nuffin'  have  powuh  enough  fo'  Absa- 
lom but  w'ite  co'n,  an'  he  des'  settle  squah  down 
an'  hang  roun'  all  de  time  waitin'  fo'  mahsuh  to 
ask  him  to  have  suffin'.  He  dah  so  reg'luh,  dat 
one  day  mahsuh  say  : 

"Tony,"  he  say,  "  I  declah  ef  it  doan'  'peah 
lack  dis  hyuh  feesh  done  'quiah  a  tas'e  for 
lickuh  !  " 

Den  mahs'  t'ink  he  breck  Absalom  fum  it, 
an'  he  tempuh  he  swigs  o'  w'ite  co'n  wiv  a  right 
smaht  o'  wahtuh,  an'  den  he  stop  de  lickuh  on 
him  squah  off.  But  nex'  day  he  go  to  de  pond, 
an'  he  see   Absalom  Vv'iv  he   eyes  poppin'  mos' 


20  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

outen  he  haid  wiv  skeeuh,  pullin'  heseff  back  in 
a  hole  in  de  bank,  des'  lack  he  done  tryin'  to 
hide  fum  suffin'  w'at  chasin'  him.  Den  he 
swush  out  an'  skittuh  lack  oV  Satan  done  bean 
attuh  him,  an'  hide  'hind  a  rock,  an'  peek  out  to 
see  ef  it  bean  attuh  him  yit,  an'  he  eyes  mos' 
drappin'  on  he  cheeks,  he  so  skeeuht ! 

"  Jicketty  !  "  INIahs'  McKeevuh  say.  "  Absa- 
lom done  see  lizzuhds  an'  snakes  an'  red  devils  ! 
He  got  de  tremuhs.  I  done  shet  he  lickuh  off 
too  sudden,  suh,"  mahs'  he  say. 

Den  mahs'  he  skittuh  an'  git  he  w'ite  co'n. 
Absalom  scoot  up  an'  grab  it.  Um-m-m-m-um  ! 
How  lickin'  good  'peahs  lack  dat  do  tas'e  to  him  ! 
He  done  slip  free  monst'us  big  hoots  o'  w'ite 
co'n  inside  heseff,  an'  den  he  swagguh  off 
peeuht  as  evuh,  suh  !  But  he  on  de  downwud 
paff !  He  mus'  have  mo'  an'  mo'  w'ite  co'n  ev' 
day,  an'  he  git  swuU  up  an'  scrumpy.  He  eyes 
dey  t'un  raid,  an'  he  doan'  keeuh  how  drunk  he 
git.  Mahs'  doan'  dah  shet  he  lickuh  off,  kase 
he  get  de  snakes  ag'in,  an'  mahs'  caint  bah  to 
see  dat.  He  swuU  an'  bloat,  an'  git  so  shame- 
ful dat  de  gold  feesh  an'  de  silvuh  feesh  an'  de 
streaky  fish  dey  shun  him  lack  he  bean  p'ison, 
an'  de  crawfeesh  pitch  on  him  an'  frow  him  out 


The  Rise  and  Fall  of  Absalom.    21 

ev'  time  he  go  roiin'  whah  decent  feesh  done 
stay.  Oh,  he  des'  a  common  bummuh,  suh,  an' 
bahmby  he  'gin  to  feel  he  disgrace.  One  day 
he  hang  roun'  an'  lay  fo'  w'ite  co'n  till  'peahs 
lack  ef  he  swamp  any  mo'  he  boun'  to  bus', 
shu's  he  bo'n.  Den  he  sneak  to  a  rock  way  to 
d'  udduh  end  de  pond,  an'  he  stop  lack  he  pon- 
duh.  Den  'peahs  lack  he  done  meek  up  he 
mind,  'kase  he  stagguh  back  two,  free  feet, 
an'  wush  heseff  haid  fus'  'gin  dat  rock,  lack  a 
ram  sheep  buttin'  he  very  bes'.  Absalom  he 
bounce  back  lack  a  ball,  shivuh  a  spell,  an'  tu'n 
he  belly  to  de  sun,  daid  as  a  pisened   pup^  suh  ! 

"  Dah,  Tony  !  "  Mahs'  AIcKeevuh  say.  "  See 
w'at  de  cuss  o'  lickuh  done  do  !  Fight  shy  of  it, 
Tony!"  mahs'  he  say,  an'  done  mix  heseff  de 
stiffes'  hoot  o'  peach  an'  honey  I  evuh  see  him 
tampuh  wiv,  suh  ! 

But  dat   bean  a  pow'ful  temp'ance   lectchuh, 

sho'ly,  suh,  an'   I   done   fight   mighty  shy  o' 

t'ank  yo',  suh  !  T'ank  yo',  suh  !  Ah-h-h  !  Ef 
Mahs'  McKeevuh  only  des'  done  keep  it  lack 
dat,  suh,  Absalom  he  bean  livin'  yit,  sho's  yo' 
bo'n,  an'  I  nevuh  done  spen'  all  dese  hyuh  yeahs 
fightin'  shy,  suh ! 


THE  MAN  FROM  CALOOSA- 
HATCHEE. 


THE  MAN   FROM  CALOOSA- 
HATCHEE. 


How  His  Pitiful  Tale  Deceived  the  Black  Ho- 
mer, and  Destroyed  Forever  His  Confidence 
in  One-Legged  Darkies. 

I  doan'  nevuh  lack  to  see  a  one-laig  dahky, 
suh,  'kase  'peahs  to  me  lack  dey  des'  natch'Iy 
cain't  have  no  conscience.  Deed  yo'  eviih  lose 
free  doUuh,  suh  ?  I  done  lose  free  dolluh  one 
time,  an'  waffo'  yo'  tink  I  doan'  fine  it  }  'Kase 
I  bean  des'  big  enough  fool  nigguh  not  to  know 
\vhah  to  luke  fo,  dat  free  dolluh  till  it  bean  too 
late.     Dat's  waffo'  I  doan'  fine  it,  suh. 

One  time,  long  sence  de  wah ,  when  I  live 
down  yon  'long  de  Cape  Fair  Rivuh,  a  cullud 
man  kim  pluggin'  'long  dah  wiv  only  one  laig. 
'Peahs  lack  he  luke  desp'rit  sonk  down  in  he 
haht  an'  pow'ful  hongry. 

"  Reckon  yo'  doan'  keeuh  'bout  givin'  a  gem- 
mum  suffin'  to  eat,  does  you?  "  he  say. 

25 


26     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  Why,  sho'ly  !  "  I  say.     "  Com  in  de  house." 

De  man  he  kim  in  de  house,  an'  de  vvooman 
she  done  sot  him  out  suffin'  to  eat,  an'  he  done 
sot  to  an'  swamp  it,  suh,  lack  he  hain'  sock  he 
teef  in  nuffin'  lack  dat  dah  dis  long  time. 

"  Whah  yo'  done  cum  fum  ?  "  I  say. 

"  'Loosyhatchy,"  he  sa3\ 

"  Huh,  huh,"  I  say,  but  I  doan'  know  whah 
'Loosyhatchy  been  no  mo'  dan  ef  it  doan'  bean 
nowhah.  Den  bahmby  I  say,  "  'Loosyhatchy, 
huh  ?     Dat  bean  fah  ?  " 

"  Fah  !  "  de  man  he  say.  "  Co'se  dat  bean 
fah  !  Dat  bean  way  down  in  Flah'dy.  Co'se 
yo'  done  heah  'bout  de  Daddy  Dick  fambly  of 
'Loosyhatchy  ?  "  he  say. 

"  Nevuh  deed  heah  'bout  'em  at  all ! "  I  say. 

"  Sho  !  "  he  say.  "  Dat  bean  monst'us  queeuh  ! 
Nevuh  deed  heah  'bout  de  Daddy  Dick  fambly, 
w'hat  de  'gahtus  done  bean  so  pow'ful  fond  of  ? 
Dat  monst'us  queeuh !  I  bean  mos'  de  las' 
membuh  dat  dah  famblv.  I  done  lose  dis  hyuh 
laig  'case  I  bean  one  de  Daddy  Dick  fambly. 
Dah  nevuh  wuz  no  fambly  'long  de  'Loosyhatchy 
wa't  de  'gahtus  bean  so  fond  of  as  dey  bean  of 
dat  fambly  of  ou'n.  Why,  de  'gahtus  done  bean 
so  pow'ful  fond  o'  dat  fambly  dey  teck  my  ol' 


The  Man  from  Caloosa-Hatchee.    27 

fadduh  all  to  deyseffs,  an'  dey  teck  my  pic'ninny 
sistuh  all  to  deyseffs,  an'  dey  done  try  to  teck 
me,  but  all  I  kin  spah  to  'em  des'  bean  dat  dah 
laig.  Den  dey  hankuh  fo'  mybrudduh  Lem,  an' 
dey  teck  so  much  of  him  dat  he  des'  natch 'ly 
pine  away  an'  doan'  nevuh  geet  ovuh  it.  Yo' 
nevuh  see  how  fond  dem  'gahtus  done  bean  o' 
dat  fambly,  suh  !  ^Nlonst'us  queeuh  yo'  nevuh 
deed  heah  'bout  ii !  " 

I  tell  de  man  I  pow'ful  sorry,  but  I  cain't  hep 
it.  I  nevuh  did  heah  'bout  dat  Daddy  Dick 
fambly.  De  man  he  look  lack  he  feel  hu't,  but 
it  doan'  teck  he  appetite,  an'  bahmby  he  done 
eet  all  dey  wuz  an'  den  quit. 

"Yes,  suh,"  he  say,  woppin'  de  col'  possum  off 
he  chops  wiv  de  back  o'  he  han'.  "It  bean  a 
pitiful  t'ing  how  dat  fambly  done  wase  away  befo' 
dem  "Loosyhatchy  'gahtus  ?" 

Den  de  man  he  tell  us  'bout  it.  'Peahs  lack 
dat  fambly  bean  happy  in  dey  cabin  as  pottidge 
in  a  cow-pea  patch,  so  dis  hyuh  man  he  say,  an' 
one  day  oT  Daddy  Dick  he  teck  he  pole  an'  go' 
out  to  de  'Loosyhatchy  to  cotch  a  mess  o'  feesh, 
des'  nio-h  bv  de  cabin.  He  doan'  come  home  to 
he  suppuh,  an'  dey  go  out  to  look  whah  he  bean. 
Dey  nevuh  did  fine  whah  he  bean,  but  dey  done 


28     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

fine  he  hat  an'  he  feesh  pole  on  de  bank.  Dat 
bean  all. 

"  Ef  I  bean  in  de  cote  house  on  my  dyin'  oaf 
dat  dah  minute,"  dis  hyuh  man  he  say,  "an'  de 
Jedge  done  ask  me  whah  I  t'ink  my  fadduh  is,  I 
des  natch'ly  say  he  bean  snoozin'  on  de  aidge  o' 
de  'Loosyhatchy,  an'  he  done  bean  gollup  by  a 
'gatuh  !  Dat's  wat  I  ansuh,*'  dis  hyuh  man  he 
say,  "  'kase  dat  bean  de  troof,  sho's  yo'  bo'n  !  " 

"  It  ain'  bean  long  attuh  my  ol'  fadduh  he  go 
*way  wid  de  'gatuhs/'  de  man  he  say,  '"when  I 
geet  home  one  day  an'  dah  mammy  she  done  sot 
des'  natch'ly  belluh'n  huh  eyes  mos'  out'n  huh 
haid. 

'*  *  Waffo'  vo'  done  belluh'n,  mammy  ?  '  I 
say. 

'^  '  Yo'  little  sistuh  Rosybell  she  done  gone 
de  way  o'  yo'  po'  ol'  fadduh  ! '  she  say.  '  Dat's 
waffo'  I  belluh'n  ! '  she  say. 

''  ^'Gatuhs?'  I  say. 

^'  '  Huh,  huh  !  '  mammy  she  say.  *  'Gatuhs 
done  teck  huh  home  ! '  " 

'Peahs  Ivlammy  Dick  she  done  bean  down  to 
de  rivuh  doi^n'  huh  washin',  de  way  dis  hyuh 
man  tell  it,  an'  he  little  sistuh  she  bean  'long. 
Bahmby  Mammy  Dick  'membuh  she  fo'git  suf- 


The  Man  from  Caloosa-Hatchee.    29 

fin'  she  want,  an'  she  go  back  to  de  cabin  attuh 
it.  When  she  geet  back  to  de  rivuh  duh  ain't 
no  little  sistuh  dah,  but  de  sand  'long  de  aidge 
o'  de  rivuh  it  bean  to'  up  right  smaht,  an'  mam- 
my she  know  a  'gatuh  done  come  out,  an'  he 
bean  so  fond  o'  Rosybell  he  des'  cain't  leave  huh 
dah,  an'  done  teck  huh  'way  wiv  him. 

'^  Den  I  des'  natch'ly  git  a  gun;"  dis  hyuh 
one-laig  man  he  say,  '*'  an  '  tote  it  wiv  me  when  I 
go  feeshin',  but  one  day  w'at  yo'  'spec'  I  done 
do  ?  Jicketty  !  I  bean  settin'  'long  de  'Loosy- 
hatchy  feeshin,'  an'  I  fo'git  how  dem  'gatuhs 
bean  so  desp'rit  fond  o'  de  fambly,  an'  I  drap 
asleep,  des'  lack  po'  ol'  daddy  done  do  !  Bahm- 
by  suffin'  week  me  up,  an'  I  ope  my  eyes  to  see 
w'at  dat  mus'  be,  an'  sho  !  w'at  yo'  tink  ?  It 
bean  a  ol'  'gatuh,  an'  he  have  dat  dah  laig  stuff 
in  he  froat  clean  to  de  knee,  an'  he  chawin' 
away  to  geet  de  res'  o'  me  !  I  see  he  done  gwan 
to  do  it,  sho's  I  bo'n,  ef  I  doan'  hump  myseff, 
an'  so  I  ritch  out  an'  grab  a  tree.  I  tug,  an'  de 
'gatuh  he  tug,  an'  when  he  see  he  cain't  git  de 
res'  o'  me  wivout  he  wuck  mighty  hahd,  he  des' 
chop  dat  laig  squah  off  an'  go  back  wiv  it  to  he 
home  in  de  rivuh.  Den  I  des'  know'd  dat  dem 
'Loosyhatchy  'gatuhs  dey  done  have  de  hoodoo 


30     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

powuh^  an'  kin  spell  folks  to  sleep,  an'  I  nevuh 
go  'long  de  rivuh  no  mo'  wivout  free  haihs  out'n 
a  wite  boss's  tail  an'  a  rusty  hosseshoe  nail  in 
my  pocket,  so  de  'gatuhs  dey  cain't  hoodoo  me 
no  mo',  an'  dey  doan'.  But  my  brudduh  Lem  he 
done  dah  de  'gatuhs  to  gollup  him,  'kase  he 
doan'  feesh  only  fum  he  ol'  canoe.  I  reckon  he 
been  monst'us  sorry  fo'  dat  now!  One  day  he 
feeshin'  fum  he  canoe,  an'  two  big  'gatuhs  dey 
jump  on  it  and  upsot  it  in  de  watuh.  Lem  he 
bean  a  pow'ful  fine  swimmuh,  an'  he  pull  fo'  de 
sho'.  I  bean  dah  feeshin',  an'  I  tink  Lem  he 
ritch  de  sho'  'fo'  de  'gatuhs  done  git  him,  but 
dey  kim  reshin'  attuh  him  wiv  dey  jaws  flung 
wide  open,  an  des'  Lem  he  gwan  to  pull  heseff 
out  on  de  bank,  dey  give  a  monst'us  jomp  an' 
shet  dey  jaws  tight  on  bofe  he  laigs  an'  teck  'em. 
Dat's  all  dey  kin  geet  o'  Lem,  but  he  so  disap- 
p'inted  'kase  he  misjege  heseff  an'  de  'gatuhs 
dat  he  pine  an'  pine  heseff  to  deff ! 

'^  Ain'  dat  dah  de  pitifulles'  ting  w'at  yo' 
evuh  did  heah  ?  Den  ol'  mammy  she  des'  natch- 
'ly  done  give  up,  an'  de  'gatuhs  dey  done  have 
huh,  too,  long  fo'  dis  hyuh  time,  ef  she  doan' 
move  'way  fum  de  'Loosyhatchy,  an'  she  do. 
She  say  she  know  Daddy  Dick  an'  de  res'  o'  de 


The  Man  from  Caloosa-Hatchee.    31 

fambly  dey  done  gone  to  Heaven,  an'  she  be 
monst'us  glad  to  jine  'em,  but  she  say  she  doan' 
hankuh  attuh  gwan  by  de  'Loosyhatchy  'gatuh 
line.  So  she  done  go  to  huhbrudduh's,  'way  off 
fum  dah,  an'  so  I  bean  'mos'  de  las^  membuh 
dat  Daddy  Dick  fambly,  an'  I  wand'  up  an'  down 
de  wide  wul',  wivout  no  home,  an'  only  one 
laig." 

I  done  feel  monst'us  sorry  fo'  de  po'  man,  an' 
I  tell  him  to  stay  dah  wiv  us  two,  free  days,  an' 
res'  heseff,  an'  cheeuh  heseff  up.  He  done  stay. 
We  feed  dat  cullud  pusson  on  de  fat  o'  de  Ian', 
an'  he  cheeuh  up  pow'fulles'  kyine  two,  free 
days.  Den  he  reckon  he  got  to  wanduh  in  de 
wide  wul'  ag'in,  an'  'way  he  peg  down  de  road, 
an'  we  nevuh  did  see  him  no  mo'.  Attuh  he 
bean  gone,  'long  kim  Sandy  IMcKeevuh,  an'  he 
have  a  nice  fat  shoat  he  want  to  sale  fo'  free 
dolluh.  I  tink  I  buy  dat  shoat,  an'  go  in  de 
house  to  git  free  dolluh  w'at  bean  in  my  ol' 
jacket  hangin'  on  de  kitchen  do'.  De  free  dol- 
luh it  doan'  be  dah,  an'  I  cain't  fine  it  nowhah. 
I  cain't  tink  whah  I  kin  lose  dat  free  dolluh,  but 
it  done  been  los'.  I  cain't  buy  de  shoat,  an' 
Sandy  he  feel  mighty  bad  an'  go  back  home. 
Nex'  day  strange  w'ite  man  kim  ridin'  by  dah. 


32     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  Anybody  done  seen  a  one-laig  nigguh  'roun' 
dese  hyuh  plahntations  ?  "  he  say. 

I  tell  him  duh  wus  a  cullud  gemman  bean  stop- 
pin'  dah  two^  free  days,  an'  he  only  have  one  laig. 

^'  Whah  he  come  fum  ? "  de  w'ite  man  say. 

'"Loosyhatchy,  Flah'dy,"  I  say,  an'  den  I 
done  tell  de  w'ite  man  'bout  de  po'  cullud  gem- 
mun,  an'  how  he  bean  mos'  de  las'  membuh  he 
fambly,  wand'n  up  an'  down  de  wide  wul'  wiv 
only  one  laig,  'kase  de  'Loosyhatchy  'gatuhs  bean 
so  fond  o'  he  fambly.  De  w'ite  man  he  only 
des'  grin',  an'  den  he  say: 

"  Las'  spring,  up  yon  in  de  Drowndin'  Creek 
kentry,"  he  say,  "  Squiah  Gammon  he  miss  he 
sheep  so  much  he  done  t'ink  a  bah  bean  attuh 
'em,  an'  he  sot  a  trap  to  cotch  dat  bah.  Nex^ 
mo'nin'  de  Squiah  he  go  out  to  see  ef  de  trap 
done  geet  dat  bah,  an'  w'at  yo'  tink?  De  trap 
it  have  de  bah  w'at  done  bean  stealin'  dem 
sheep.  De  bah  bean  Pete  Bunk,  de  mos'  wuf- 
flesses'  nigguh  in  No'th  C'lina  !  De  trap  chaw 
de  laig  so  bad  dey  have  to  cut  it  off.  Dat's  de 
nighest  he  ev'  bean  to  'Loosyhatchy,  an'  dat's 
de  way  'gatuhs  chop  he  laig  off  !  Ise  attuh  him 
wiv  a  wah'nt  des'  now,  'kase  he's  done  bean 
stealin'  Squiuh  Gammon's  gol'  watch !  " 


The  Man  from  Caloosa-Hatchee.    33 

De  w'ite  man  he  rid  on  down  de  road,  an'  ef 
he  cotch  dat  cullud  pusson  I  nevuh  did  heah 
'bout  it.  But  I  know  den  dat  I  bean  des'  big 
enough  fool  nigguh  not  to  know  whah  to  luke 
fo'  dat  free  dolluh  I  lose  till  it  bean  too  late. 

No,  suh  !     I    doan'  nevuh    lack  to    see    one 
laig  dahky,  'kase   'peahs  to  me  lack  dey  cain't 
have  no  conscience,  suh  !     'Peahs  to  me  so  ;  an' 
dat's  a  fact ! 
3 


A  PLAGUE  OF  EGYPT. 


A  PLAGUE  OF  EGYPT. 


How  Mahs'  McKeever  Took  to  Eating  it,  and, 
True  to  the  Black  Homer's  Old  Mammy's 
Prophecy,  Something  Desperate  Covered  the 
Land,  and  Tribulation  Came  to  Mah's  Jim. 

I  RECKON  yo'  done  heah  oodles  o'  feesh  stories 
wa't  bean  monst'us  queeuh,"  but  I  bet  yo'  anyting, 
suh,  yo'  nevuli  did  heah  one  so  queeuh  as  one 
vv'at  done  happen  down  yon  'long  de  Cape  Fair 
Rivuh,  'fo'  de  wah,  dune  the  wah,  an'  sence  de 
wah.  I  doan'  tink  I  done  fo'got  dat  feesh  story. 
Bean  a  long  time  ago,  dough.  Lemme  see.  How 
dat  feesh  story  go  ?  Um-m-m — sho  !  How  dat 
go.''  Oh,  jicketty!  Now  I  'membuh  !  Dat  feesh 
story  it  done  staht  in  wid  a  frog — a  monst'us  big 
frog.  No,  suh,  it  doan',  needuh  !  It  staht  way 
up  norf  in  Can'dy,  whahev'  dat  bean,  wiv  a  run- 
away nigguh — dis  hyuh  way  : 

One  time  one  o'  ol'  mahsuh's  nigguhshe  t'un 
up  missin'  an'  mahs'  he  cain'  fine  hide  no  wool 

S7 


38     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

o'  dat  nigguh.  He  done  gone  des'  lack  he  seenk 
froo  de  groun'.  He  pow'ful  high  price  nigguh, 
dat  un  bean,  an'  ol'  mahs'  he  desp'rit  put  out 
'kase  he  cain't  geet  on  he  track.  Time  it  go  and 
go,  an'  bahmby  mahs'  he  geet  a  lettuh  one  day. 
Dat  lettuh  it  kim  all  de  way  from  Can'dy,  an'  it 
bean  from  Zim,  de  missin'  nigguh.  Not  zac'ly  it 
doan'  been  fum  him,  needuh,  'kase  co'se  Zim  he 
cain't  write,  but  it  bean  writ  by  some  un  in 
Can'dy  fo'  Zim,  an'  it  say  dat  Zim  he  des'  natch'ly 
'bout  frizz  to  deff  up  dah,  an'  he  pinin'  to  get 
back  on  de  o'  Cape  Fair,  but  he  doan'  know  de 
way.  He  plid  wid  mahsuh  to  come  up  dah  an' 
geet  him,  or  sen'  some  un  attuh  him,  an'  he  des* 
jog  'long  back  wiv  him,  an'  be  pow'ful  good  all 
de  res'  he  days.  Ol'  mahs',  he  mighty  glad  to 
heah  dis  hyuh,  an'  he  go  to  Can'dy  he  ownseff 
to  fotch  Zim  back.  While  he  bean  up  dah,  mahs' 
he  done  live  fine,  'kase  he  fall  in  wiv  dat  kyine 
o'  man,  an'  'bove  all  tings  else  he  done  do,  he 
lahn  to  eat  frogs  !  Yes,  suh  !  Jicketty  !  Des'  tink 
o'  dat  dah,  suh  !  An'  he  meek  Zim  lahn  to  cook 
'em  'fo'  dey  staht  home,  an'  when  dey  git  back 
to  de  ol'  plahntation  an'  mahs'  he  oduh  me  out 
'long  de  rivuh  to  cotch  frogs,  an'  we  fine  out  he 
gwan  to  eat  'em,  it  skeeuh  ev'body  on  the  plahn- 


A  Plague  of  Egypt.  39 

tation  most  in  fits.  My  oV  mammy  she  mos' 
drap  daid  when  she  heah  'boat  it,  an'  she  frow 
up  huh  eyes  an'  huh  han's,  an'  she  holluh  : 

"  Frogs  !  "  she  dun  holluh.  "  Dey  bean  one  o' 
de  plaigs  of  Idjipt,  an'  ol'  mahs'  he  dun  tu'n  to 
an'  eat  'em  !  Gabr'el,  is  yo  gwan  to  blow  dis 
hyuh  minute,  or  is  duh  suffin'  desp'rit  gwan  to 
kivvuh  de  Ian'  ? " 

Mammy  she  wait  an'  listen,  an'  Gabr'el  he  doan' 
toot.     Den  she  holluh  : 

"'Tain't  Gabr'el!"  she  holluh.  "  De  great 
day  it  ain't  come  yit ;  but  it  des*  natch'ly  mowt 
bettuh  be,  'kase  w'en  folks  dey  teck  and  tu'n  to 
an'  eat  de  plaigs  of  Idjipt,  den  suffin'  desp'rit 
boun'  to  kivvuh  de  Ian',  sho's  yo'  bo'n  !  " 

An'  w'at  yo'  tink,  suh  ?  De  wah  it  kim  'long 
de  nex'  yeah  !     An'  my  ol'  mammy  she  holluh  : 

"  Dah  !  W'at  I  done  tol'  yo'  >  De  Ian'  w'at 
eats  de  plaigs  of  Idjipt  been  boun'  to  have  suf- 
fin' desp'rit  kivvuh'n  it !  01'  mahs'  he  done  gwan 
to  have  a  heap  to  ans'  fo'  on  de  great  day  !  " 

An'  heap  o'  udduh  folks  dey  t'ink  so,  too,  but 
mahs'  he  des'  kip  right  on  eatin'  he  frogs  an'  'joy 
'em  pow'ful.  Um-m-m — um  !  how  mahsuh  did 
'joy  dem  frogs  !  One  day  I  bean  gwan  to  de 
rivuh  to  cotch  him  a  mess-  duh  been  a  monst'us 


40      The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown 

lot  o'  frogs  'long  dah  in  dem  days — w'en  1  see  de 
mos'  jubilatiness'  big  frog  w'at  I  evuh  heah  tell 
about,  seatin'  on  a  gum  stump,  close  by  de  wat- 
tuh,  sassy  as  a  bulldog.  'Peahs  lack  dat  frog 
been  bigguh  dan  a  pup',  an'  he  eyes  dey  lie  out 
on  he  cheeks  lack  a  nigguh's  skeeuhtby  aghos'. 

"  Jicketty  !  "  I  say.  "  Weesh  mammy  wuz 
hyuh !  I  feel  des'  lack  dat  frog  done  gwan  to 
gobble  me,  he  so  monst'us  !  " 

Den  I  tu'n  heel  an'  scrummidge  away  from 
dah,  but  I  ain'  scrummidge  but  a  leetle  ways 
w'en  I  mos'  dab  squah  ag'in  mahsuh  comin'  down 
de  road. 

"  Whah  yo  gwan  ?  "  he  holluh.  "  Waffo'  yo' 
done  scrummidge  back  dis  hyuh  way !  " 

I  mighty  skeeuht,  but  I  tell  mahsuh  'bout  de 
monst'us  big  frog  w'at  sot  me  scrummidgin'. 

"  He  mos'  big  as  a  piccaninny  !  "  I  say. 

"  Sho' !  "  he  say.     "  Whah  he  is  !  " 

"  He  seatin'  on  the  big  gum  stump,  down  yon," 
I  say. 

"Come  wiv  me,"  he  say.  "We  done  cotch 
him  fo'  my  dinnuh." 

I  trimble  an'  shivvuh  lack  a  coon  dog  w'en  de 
fros'  tetch  de  'simmons,  but  I  mus'  g'long  wiv 
mahsuh,  an'  I  done  go.     Fus'  I  hope  de  monst'- 


A  Plague  of  Egypt.  41 

us  frog  woan'  be  dah,  he  so  spooky  to  look  at ; 
an'  den  I  hope  he  will  be  dah,  'kase  ef  he  ain' 
den  mahs'  he  des'  lack's  not  swat  me  an'  say  I 
done  bean  lyin'  to  get  shet  o'  cotchin'  frogs  dat 
day.  But  he  dah  !  Jicketty  !  An'  he  look  big- 
guh'n  evuh  ! 

"  My  Ceasuh  !  "  mahs'  he  say.  "  Dat  a  pow'- 
ful  frog ! " 

Mahs'  he  bean  gwan  to  de  deep  hole  in  de 
rivuh  to  dough  ball  de  wattuh  to  fotch  de  jack- 
feesh  bait  in  so  de  jacks  came  'long  attuh  'em, 
an'  meek  de  feeshin'  good,  an'  he  teck  a  dough 
ball  out'n  he  pocket  an'  toss  it  to  de  frog.  De 
frog  he  gobble  it,  an'  mahs'  he  toss  nudduh  one. 
De  frog  he  gobble  dat  un,  an'  'peahs  lack  he  so 
fon'  o'  dem  dough  balls  he  done  jomp  fum  de 
stump  an'  hop  close  to  ol'  mahs'  on  de  sho',  so 
he  kin  git  de  dough  balls  quickuh.  An' dah  he 
squat  an'  gobble  dough  balls  till  mahs'  he  done 
feed  him  all  he  got — mo'  dan  a  quaht,  suh — an' 
den  de  frog  he  leeck  he  chops,  cock  he  big  eye 
till  he  reckon  mahsuh  ain'  done  got  no  mo',  an' 
den  heave  he  shoulduhs,  an'  way  he  go,  k'chug ! 
in  de  rivuh,  an'  we  doan'  see  him  ag'in   dat  day. 

"  I  done  gwan  to  fat  dat  frog,"  mahs'  he 
say,  "  an'  bahmby  I  meek  my  dinnuh  on  he  sad- 


42     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

dies !  I  show  him  waffo'  he  gobble  my  dough 
balls!" 

An'  mahs'  he  go  down  dah  mos'  ev'  day,  an' 
de  frog  it  bean  dah  to  gobble  de  dough  balls,  an' 
bahmby  it  teck  to  foll'n  mahsuh  home,  kase  it 
so  pow'ful  fon'  dem  balls  an'  want  mo'. 

One  day  'bout  dat  time  Pudge  Conklin  he 
kim  home  fum  de  wah.  He  show  ol'  mahsuh  a 
mighty  fine  gol'  watch  an'  long  chain,  wiv  lot  o' 
nice  tings  danglin'  to  its  tuduh  end.  He  want 
to  sell  mahsuh  dat  watch  an'  chain,  but  Pudge 
he  nevuh  had  a  pow'ful  good  name  round  dah, 
an'  mahs'  he  'quiuh  whah  he  geet  dat  watch  an' 
chain. 

"  I  ween  it,"  Pudge  he  declah, "  playin'  kyahds 
in  Newbu'n." 

He  tell  de  ting  so  straight  dat  mahs'  he  done 
buy  de  watch  an'  chain,  an'  meek  young  mahsuh 
Jim,  he  son  w'at  ten  yeah  ol'  des'  dat  day,  a  birf- 
day  present  of  'em.  Dey  mighty  fine,  I  tell  yo', 
an'  young  Mahsuh  Jim  he  pow'ful  proud  of  'em. 
Dull  done  bean  some  lettuhs  inside  de  watch, 
but  nobody  dey  din'  know  w'at  dem  lettuhs  mean, 
an'  dey  doan'  keeuh. 

Nex'  day  mahs'  he  done  go  down  whah  de  big 
frog  kip  heseff,  an'  de  frog  it  skittuh  home  attuh 


The  Plague  of  Egypt.  43 

him  to  git  mo'  dough  balls.  We  all  bean  use  to 
de  monst'us  chap  by  dis  time,  'cep'  my  oV  mam- 
my, an'  she  kip'  sayin'  : 

"  I  wahn  yo',  Mahs'  McKeevuh  !  I  wahn 
yo' !  Dat  frog  done  bean  de  fadduh  of  all  dem 
plaigs  of  Idjipt  yo'  bean  eatin'  all  dese  hyuh 
months,  an'  he  hain't  humpin'  heseff  roun'  hyuh 
fo'  nuffin'  !  " 

Dis  hyuh  day  de  frog  done  come  'long  home 
wiv  mahsuh,  he  doan'  git  no  mo'  dough  balls. 
He  hang  roun'^  but  mahs'  he  doan'  give  him 
none,  an'  de  frog  he  git  he  back  up  desp'rites' 
kyine.     Mahs'  he  weenk  at  Zim  an'  say  : 

"  He  fat  enough,  now.  'Bot  t'mah  I  knock 
him  in  de  haid  an'  feas'  on  he  saddles.  Um-m- 
m-m — um  !  But  dey  des'  gwan  to  be  pow'ful 
fine!" 

De  big  frog  he  bean  squattin'  on  a  stone  by 
de  rivuh,  an'  young  IMahsuh  Jim  he  standin'  by 
him.  De  frog  desp'rit  mad.  Mahsuh  Jim  he 
teck  holt  de  eend  o'  he  watch  chain  an'  dangle 
de  watch  down  'fo'  de  frog's  belgin'  eyes,  des'  to 
aggumvate  him.  De  frog  he  give  one  snap  o'  he 
monst'us  jaws,  gobble  de  watch  lack  it  bean  a 
dough  ball,  rise  on  he  laigs,  an'  gok'chug!  in  de 
rivuh,    snatchin'   de   chain    out'n  ^^lahsuh  Jim's 


44     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

han'  an'  teckin'  all  dat  fine  birfday  present  wiv 
him  !  Jicketty  !  But  don'  duh  done  bean  aheap 
o'  music  roun'  dat  plahntation  !  Young  Jim  he 
mos'  belluh  he  haht  away,  an'  ol"  mahs'  he  swah 
till  de  ol'  tuckey  gobbluh's  red  chops  dey  done 
tu'n  blue  !  Mammy  she  sheck  huh  haid  an' 
say  : 

**  I  done  wahn  yo  !  I  done  wahn  yo' !  Dat 
fadduh  of  all  de  plaigs  of  Idjipt  w'at  yo'  bean 
eatin'  ain't  humpin'  heseff  roun'  hyuh  fo'  nuffin' !  " 

But  bahmby  ol'  mahs'  he  cool  down,  an'  he  say 
to  Mahsuh  Jim  : 

"  Sho  !  Dis  hyuh  bean  all  right,  honey  !  Dat 
frog  only  des'  lose  hetempuh  'kase  he  doan'  geet 
no  mo'  dough  balls.  He  doan'  want  dat  watch 
an'  chain.  He  fotch  'em  back  t'  mah  down  yon 
by  de  big  gum  stump,  an'  we  geet  'em.  An'  we 
done  geet  dat  frog,  too,  by  jicketty  !  " 

But  dat  frog  he  doan'  fotch  dat  watch  an' 
chain  back  t'mah,  no'  de  nex'  day,  no'  de  nex'. 
He  nevuh  fotch  dat  watch  an'  chain  back  at  all, 
suh.     An'  ol'  mahsuh  he  do  swah  pow'ful  ! 

"  I  monst'us  dis'p'inted  in  dat  frog  !  "  he  say. 
"  I  done  trit  dat  frog  lack  a  king,  so  I  do,  an'  I 
tink  he  gwan  to  be  mighty  tankful,  but  he  tu'n 
out  to  be  des'  a  common  highway  robbuh  !  " 


A  Plague  of  Egypt.  45 

But  bahmby,  one  da}-,  ol'  mahs'  he  mighty 
sorry  he  tink  dat  a-way  'bout  dat  po'  frog,  fo' 
dat  day  ]Mahsuh  Jim  he  go  feeshin'  fo'  jack  feesh 
down  in  de  deep  hole.  He  geet  a  pow'ful  bite, 
an'  he  tink  he  nevuh  will  geet  dat  feesh  to  sho', 
it  pull,  an'  swobble,  an'  heng  back  so.  But  attuh 
while  Jim  he  Ian'  de  feesh,  an'  he  see  suffin' 
shiny  in  its  mouf.  Jim  he  look,  an'  he  see  dat 
shiny  ting  done  bean  a  gol'  chain.  He  pull  on 
de  chain,  an'  jicketty  !  Wat  yo'  tink,  suh  .?  At 
the  udduh  eend  o'  dat  chain  he  pull  in  a  monst'- 
us  bis:  fros  !  One  eend  dat  chain  it  bean  in  de 
jack  feesh's  gullet,  an'  t'udduh  eend  dat  chain  it 
bean  in  the  frog's  gullet.  IMahsuh  Jim  he  cutde 
frog,  an'  he  fine  de  watch.  He  cut  de  jack  feesh 
an'  he  fine  de  lot  o'  nice  tings  w'at  done  dangle 
at  d'udduh  eend  dat  chain  ! 

"Whoop!"  IMahsuh  Jim  he  holluh,  an'  he 
skittuh  home  lack  de  wind  an'  show  he  fadduh. 
or  mahs'  he  mighty  tickle  'kase  Jim  fine  de 
w^atch  an'  chain,  but  he  feel  desp'rit  bad  'kase 
he  jedge  dat  po'  frog  an'  call  him  a  highway 
robbuh. 

"  Dat  frog  done  bean  hones',  attuh  all,"  he 
Bay.  "He  bean  fotchin'  dat  birfday  present 
back,    sho'ly,  w'en  dat    hongry  jack    feesh   see 


46  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

dem  bright  tings  danglin'  an'  des'  gobble  'em — 
an'  de  frog  cain't  geet  away  an'  des'  bean 
drownded  !  I  pow'f ul  sorry  I  call  him  a  robbuh  ! 
An'  I  pow'ful  sorry  dem  saddles  o'  his'n  done 
spile !  " 

But  mammy  she  hold  out. 

*'  Yo'  des  ottuh  he  tankful  in  yo'  haht  to  dat 
jack  feesh,  Mahs'  McKeevuh,  fo'  'stroyin'  dat 
fadduh  of  all  dem  plaigs  of  Idjipt  yo'  done  bean 
eatin'  !  "  she  say.  "  Dat  monst'us  frog  he  done 
have  he  eye  on  yo',  suh  !  Yo'  ottuh  be  tankful  in 
yo'  haht  fo'  dat  jack  feesh." 

Time  it  go  an'  go,  an'  Mahsuh  Jim  he  grow  to 
be  a  fine  young  man,  suh.  Co'se,  he  doan'  be 
Mahsuh  Jim  no  mo',  kase  de  wah  it  sot  us  free, 
but  dat  ain't  no  diffunce.  He  'peah  des'  de 
same,  young  Mahsuh  Jim.  An'  den  he  fadduh 
tink  Jim  he  doan'  have  chance  enough  'long  de 
Cape  Fair,  an'  he  sen'  him  to  New  York,  whah 
duh  been  mo'  room.  Jim  he  git  'long  right 
smaht  up  dah,  an'  fus'  ting  he  know  he  done  fall 
in  love  wiv  a  rich  man's  daughtuh,  an'  she  done 
fall  in  love  wiv  him,  an'  huh  fadduh  he  lack  Jim, 
an'  say  it  bean  all  right,  he  kin  have  huh.  Jim 
he  have  dat  watch  an'  chain  yit,  an'  he  tink  de 
wul'  an'  all  of  'em.     But  he  gal  she  teck  a  fancy 


A  Plague  of  Egypt.  47 

to  'em,  an'  Jim  done  give  'em  to  huh.  She  so 
tickle  she  call  huh  fadduh  an'  holluh  : 

"  See  fadduh,  w'at  Jim  he  done  gimme  !  " 

De  fadduh  he  teck  de  watch  an'  chain,  and 
he  eyes  dey  begin  to  beige  w'en  he  see  'em.  He 
open  de  watch  an'  see  de  lettuhs  on  de  inside. 
Den  he  holluh  to  Jim  : 

"  Whah  yo'  geet  dis  hyuh  watch  ?  " 

"  IMy  fadduh  done  gimme  it  fo'  a  birfday  pre- 
sent, dune  de  wah,"  Jim  he  say. 

"  Den  yo'  fadduh's  a  damn  tief !  "  de  gal's  fad- 
duh he  holluh. 

Jim  he  cain't  stan'  dat,  an'  he  jomp  up,  an'  I 
done  'spec  '  he  joggle  dat  gal's  fadduh  till  he 
nevuh  holluh  no  mo',  only  fo'  de  gal  frowin'  huh 
ahms  roun'  Jim's  neck  an'  holdin'  him  an'  huggin' 
him,  an'  pliddin'  wid  him.  Den  he  tell  de  gal's 
fadduh  how  he  fadduh  got  de  watch  an'  chain, 
an'  how  he  los'  it  an'  got  it  back  ag'in.  Den  de 
gal's  fadduh  he  'pol'gize  pow'fuUes'  kyine,  and 
say  : 

"  I  done  git  some  bullets  froo  me  dune  a  fight 
in  de  wah,  an'  tumble  on  de  fiel',  whah  I  cain't 
move  a  finguh,  an'  I  tink  I  gwan  to  die,  sho's  I 
bo'n.  Den  some  un  kim  along  an'  choke  me 
desp'rit,  an'  yank   off  my  watch   an'   chain,   an' 


48      The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

snick  away.  Dis  hyuh  de  same  watch  an'  chain, 
suh,  an'  I  bet  yo'  a  doUuh  it  bean  dat  man  Pudge 
Conklin  w'at  done  stole  'em." 

An'  Mahsuh  Jim  mah'  de  rich  man's  daughtuh, 
and  dey  bean  happiest  kyine  o'  folks   ev'  sence. 

Dah,  suh  !  I  bet  yo'  nevuh  did  heah  a  feesh 
story  so  pow'ful  queeuh  as  dat  in  all  yo'  bo'n 
days,  an'  I  done  'spec'  yo'  heah'd  oodles  of  'em. 
Mahsuh  Jim  he  live  in  New  Yo'k  yit,  an'  ef  yo' 
evuh  see  him  I  bet  yo'  he  tell  yo'  dis  bean  true 
w'at  I  tol'  yo',  ev'y  seengle  wu'd.  Yo'  gwan  to 
see  him  w'en  yo'  go  back  ?  Well,  Mahsuh  Jim 
he  doan'  live  in  New  Yo'k  'zac'ly.  Not  'zac'ly. 
He  done  move  out  a  ways.  Califo'ny.  Dat's 
whah  he  done  move  to.  Califo'ny.  Dah's  whah 
yo'  fine  him,  suh.     Califo'ny. 


PERSECUTED  SANDY  BUNN. 


PERSECUTED  SANDY  BUNN, 


The  Black  Homer  Tells  of  Sandy's  Trials  and 
Tribulations  at  the  Hands  of  Unbelieving 
Crushers  of  the  Truth  in  the  Cape  Fear  Country. 

I  'spec'  yo'  done  see  Sandy  Bunn  up  Norf  ev' 
little  while,  suh  ?  No?  Sho !  Dat's  mighty 
queeuh  !  He  up  dah  !  Why,  he  bean  up  dah 
dese  hyuh  five,  six  yeah  !  'Peahs  lack  yo'  mus' 
see  him,  suh  !  Tall  man  ?  White  whiskuhs  all 
roun'  he  face  ?  Lame  in  he  lef  laig  vvhah  he 
mule  kick  him  ?  'Membuh  him  now,  doan'  yo', 
suh? — No?  Sho  !  Cain't  be  dat  dat  fool  nig- 
guh  des'  natch'ly  hidin'  heseif  yit,  'kaze  he 
'feeuhd  dey  attuh  him  to  pussecute  him  ?  Dat's 
des'  w'at  he  doin',  I  bet  a  bah'l  o'  tahpentine  ! 
But  dey  ain't  attuh  him.  I  weesh  yo'  tell  Sandy 
so  when  yo'  go  back  Norf,  suh.  Tell  him  I  say 
so.  Tell  him  dey  tink  yit  dat  he  bean  de 
monst'uses'   liah   evuh   wuz  long   de  Cape  Fair 

51 


52      The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

Rivuh,  but  dey  ain't  attuh  him  no  mo'  to  pusse- 
cute  him.  I  done  spec'  it  gwan  to  hu't  him 
pow'ful  to  heah  dey  ain't  got  ovuh  tinkin'  he  a 
monst'us  liah,  but  I  reckon  it  gwan  to  lift  a  heap 
offen  Sandy's  mind  to  heah  dey  ain't  attuh  him 
to  pussecute  him.  So  I  weesh  yo'  des'  tell  him, 
suh.     Tell  him  I  say  so. 

Sandy  Bunn,  he  done  live  a  long  time  down 
yon  on  de  Cape  Fair.  He  live  all  by  heself  in  a 
cabin  w'at  bean  a  right  smaht  one  'fo'  de  wah, 
but  git  mighty  ramified  sence.  'Peahs  lack  dat 
cabin  des'  natch'ly  keflummux  in  a  heap  ef  yo' 
doan'  walk  by  it  on  yo'  teep  toes,  it  so  wobbly, 
but  it  nevuh  do  ;  an'  it  done  stan'  dah  yit,  suh, 
lack  it  boun'  to  show  folks  dey  doan'  know  half 
so  much  dey  done  tink  dey  does.  Sandy  he  live 
dah  long  time,  an'  somehow  de  white  folks  down 
dah  dey  pussecute  him  desp'rit.  Um-m-m — 
umm  !  how  dey  do  pussecute  dat  man !  Dey 
doan'  nevuh  lay  dey  ban's  on  him,  but  dey  pus- 
secute him  wiv  dey  tongues,  an'  dat's  de  wusses' 
kyine  o'  pussecution.  I  'membuh  one  time  oV 
Cap'n  McKenzie  he  fine  dat  somebody  snatchin' 
he  wattuh  melons  out'n  he  field,  an'  he  sot  a 
watch  dah.  Dey  seen  a  pusson  snick  in  de  field 
an'  yank  a  melon.     Dey  chase  de  pusson,  an'  de 


Persecuted  Sandy  Bunn.         53 

pusson  drap  de  melon  an'  run  lack  de  ol'  boy 
bean  on  he  heels.  Dey  cain't  cotch  de  pusson, 
but  dey  say  dey  'cognize  who  it  bean.  An'  w'at 
dey  done  do  ?  Dey  go  out  se'nadin',  an'  dey 
se'nade  Sandy,  an'  dey  sing  dis  hyuh  pussecutin' 

song  : 

**  Some  folks  say  nigguh  woan'  steal, 
But  we  cotch  one  in  a  melon  fiel'. 
He  drap  de  melon  an'  'way  he  run 
Lack  nobody  kin  but  Sandy  Bunn." 

Co'se,  dat  mos'  breck  po'  Sandy's  haht,  but  he 
bean  pow'ful  pious,  an'  he  des'  coodle  down  in 
one  co'nuh  he  cabin,  and  sheck  he  haid,  an' 
grieve  to  t'ink  how  dey  kin  cunjuh  up  setch 
weekedness.  An'  he  fo'give  'em,  an'  doan'  nevuh 
say  a  wud  back,  suh.  Dat's  w'at  he  tol'  me 
many  times.  He  pow'ful  pious,  Sandy  wuz. 
Pow'ful  pious. 

One  time  a  man  down  yon  on  de  Cape  Fair  he 
cunjuh  up  de  idee  dat  duh  bean  a  heap  o'  money 
in  keepin'  chickens,  an'  he  tink  he  do  it,  Co'se, 
he  cain't  do  it  wivout  he  pussecute  Sandy  Bunn 
fust,  an'  he  go  to  Sandy  an'  say : 

"  Sandy,  I  done  tink  I  keep  a  right  smaht  o' 
chickens." 

Sandy  he  say  "  Yes  ?  " 


54     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

De  man  he  say  :  ^'  Yes.  I  want  to  keep  a 
heap  o'  chickens,  an'  folks  done  tell  me  de  bes* 
ting  I  kin  do  is  to  hiah  yo'." 

Sandy  he  know  all  'bout  keepin'  chickens,  an' 
he  mighty  glad  to  be  hiahd,  an'  he  tell  de  man 
so. 

"Yes,"  de  man  he  say.  ''Folks  done  tell  me 
if  I  want  to  keep  chickens  I  mus'  hiah  yo'.  So 
I  gwan  to  hiah  yo'.  I  want  to  keep  chickens,  so 
I  gwan  to  hiah  yo'  to  move  fum  hyuh  'way  down 
to  de  Peedee  kentry." 

Dat  bean  a  desp'rit  blow  to  po'  Sandy.  He 
mos'  seenk  froo  de  groun',  dat  pussecution  bean 
so  hefty.  But  he  doan'  say  a  wud.  He  des'  go 
to  he  cabin  an'  rassel  wiv  he  feelin's  an'  fo'give 
he  pussecutuh.  Dat's  w'at  Sandy  done  tell  me 
many  time. 

But  bahmby,  suh,  dey  lay  dey  pussecution  on 
Sandy  so  deep  he  des'  cain't  stan'  it  no  mo',  an' 
he  pick  up  he  feet  an'  shake  de  dust  of  de  Cape 
Fair  kentry  offen  'em  clean.  One  day  I  bean 
comin'  'long  de  road,  des'  up  yon,  an'  udduh  way 
kim  a  man  lack  he  walkin'  'gin  time  an'  done  bean 
a  right  smaht  bit  behind  it.  Bahmby  I  know 
him.  He  bean  Sandy  Bunn,  lookin'  lack  he 
pow'ful  skeeuht. 


Persecuted  Sandy  Bunn.         55 

**Why,  Sandy,"  I  say,    "  Waffo'  yo'   scootin 
'long  dis  hyuh  way  so  mons'us  fast  ?" 

Sandy,  he  say,  "  Kase  I'se  fleein'  fum  pussecu- 
tion,  sub  !  Dey  done  put  de  las'  straw  on  de 
camomile's  back,  an'  it  bean  mo'  dan  he  kin 
tote !  Stan'  outen  de  way,  brudduh !  Doan' 
hinduh  me  !  I'se  fleein'  fum  pussecution,  an' 
I'se  monst'us  feeuhd  dat  de  pussecution  is  on 
hossback  wiv  a  wah'nt  fum  de  Squiuh  !  Stan' 
outen  de  way  an'  doan'  hinduh  me  !  " 

Jickitty  !  how  po'  Sandy  wuz  joggled  ! 

"  Sho  !  "  I  say  to  him.  *'  If  pussecution  is 
attuh  yo'  on  hossback,  it  sho'ly  run  yo'  down  ef 
yo'  keep  de  road  !  Des'  yo'  snick  up  in  de 
wudes  wiv  me,  an'  when  de  pussecution  gits 
along  dis  hyuh  way,  we  kin  wutch  its  boss  tote  it 
by  an'  kin  chuckle  to  see  it !  " 

Den  Sandy  he  'peah  mighty  glad  kaze  I 
hinduh  him,  an'  we  snick  up  in  de  wudes  an' 
hide.  We  ain't  hahdly  plunk  down  'hind  an  ol' 
pine  stump  w'en  'long  come  dat  pussecution, 
sho'  enough,  ridin'  Gunnel  Ray's  best  hoss.  Zip ! 
it  scoot  by ! 

"Who  dat  pussecution  on  Gunnel  Ray's 
hoss  ?  "  I  say. 

"  Dat  bean   Joe   Feeny,    de  Gape   Fair   con- 


56    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

stable,  an'  I  done  spec'  he  got  a  wah'nt,"  Sandy 
he  say. 

"  Wah'nt  fo'  who  ?  "  I  say. 

Sandy,  he  say  :  ''  Fo'  me,  I  reckon." 

"  Jicketty  !  ''  I  say.  "  Pussecution  ain^t  nevuh 
chase  yo'  befo'  on  hossback  wiv  a  wah'nt. 
Waffo'  it  rise  up  so  desp'rit  dis  hyuh  time.'*" 

Sandy  he  say  :  "  Kaze  dey  bean  a  disb'lievin' 
gen'ration  o'  vipuhs  down  yon  on  de  Cape  Fair  ! 
'Kaze  dey  sco'n  de  troof  an'  want  to  cresh  it ! 
Dat's  waffo'  pussecution  done  rise  up  so  desp'rit 
dis  hyuh  time  !  " 

Yo'  see,  suh,  des*  de  yeah  'fo'  dat  duh  bean  a 
mighty  flood  in  de  Cape  Fair  Rivuh.  It  rise  an' 
it  rise  an'  it  rise  till  it  bean  mos'  to  de  do'  of 
Sandy's  cabin.  Dis  hyuh  w^'at  Sandy  he  tell  me 
in  de  wudes  whah  we  hide  dat  day.  Night  it 
kim  'long,  an'  de  flood  it  keep  risin',  and  Sandy 
he  done  shet  heseff  in  de  cabin,  waitin^  fo'  de 
wuss.  He  teck  down  he  ol'  fiddle  an'  he  play 
hymn  tunes,  'kase  he  pow'ful  pious,  an'  he  doan' 
feah.  Bahmby  bang !  bang  !  suffin'  clattuh  at  de 
do'.     Sandy  he  quit  he  fiddlin'  an'  holluh  : 

"  Who  dat  bangin'  at  my  do'  ?  I  know  yo', 
suh  !  Dat  yo',  Mahs'  Devil,  comin'  hyuh  tinkin' 
yo'  skeeuh  me  an'  I  quit  fiddlin'  de  hymn  tunes ! 


Persecuted  Sandy  Bunn.         57 

Go  'way  fum  dah  !  Yo'  cain't  skeeuh  me, 
suh  !  " 

Den  Sandy  he  play  mo'  hymn  tunes,  an'  bang  ! 
bang !  bang !  suffin'  clattuh  at  de  do'  ag'in. 
Sandy  he  quit  he  fiddlin'. 

"  Sho  !  "  he  say.  "  Dat  ain't  de  ol'  devil !  He 
nevuh  wase  he  time  bangin'  at  de  do'  if  he  want 
in.  He  des'  natch'ly  scuffle  down  de  chimbly. 
Who  dah  ? " 

De  suffin'  it  doan'  sav  nuffin' — des'  bang:, 
bang  de  do'.  Sandy  he  git  up  an'  snatch  de  do' 
open.  Den  he  mos'  drap  daid,  'kase  dah  stan'  a 
monst'us  big  bah,  up  to  he  knees  in  watuh,  an' 
des'  dreppin'  wet  all  ovuh.  Sandy  he  done  gwan 
to  slam  de  do'  in  de  bah's  face,  w'en  he  see  setch 
a  look  in  de  bah's  eyes  it  mos'  meek  him  shed 
teahs.  De  bah  it  sho'ly  say  wiv  its  eyes  dat 
it  want  get  in  de  cabin  or  it  be  drownded  in  de 
flood. 

"Yes,"  Sandy  he  say  to  de  bah,  ^'but  doan' yo' 
spec'  I  know  bahs  ?  Ef  I  let  yo'  in,  an'  de  flood 
it  shrenk  an'  doan'  teck  de  cabin  an'  us  wiv  it, 
den  what?  Yo'  des'  natch'ly  tu'n  an'  snatch  me 
bald-headed,  lack  yo'  fo'fadduhs  done  do  to  po' 
ol'  Uncle  'Lijuh  !  I  know  bahs,  so  I  guess  I 
shet  yo'  out  in  de  flood  !  " 


S8  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

But  de  bah  it  sheck  its  haid,  an'  criss  cross  its 
breas'  free  times  dat  it  won't  snatch  Sandy,  an' 
so  he  done  let  it  in  de  cabin.  It  coodle  down  in 
a  co'nuh  an'  go  to  sleep  an'  Sandy  'fiddle  mo' 
hymn  tunes.  Free  days  an'  nights  dat  monst'us 
flood  it  dash  an'  splash  an'  holluh  'bout  dat 
cabin,  'fo'  it  shrenk  away,  an'  den  Sandy  he  ope 
de  do'.  De  bah  it  rise  up,  sheck  itself,  and  go 
'way,  lookin'  so  pow'ful  tankful,  Sandy  he  say, 
dat  he  mos'  belluh  he  eyes  out. 

"  I  des'  only  weesh  some  o'  dem  pussecutin' 
folks  see  dat  bah  w'en  it  go  way  !  "  Sandy  he 
say.    "  It  des'  shame  'em  to  dey  dyin'  day  !  " 

Den  dat  yeah  attuh  de  big  flood  de  season  it 
kim  desp'rit  dry  'long  de  Cape  Fair.  De  co'n  it 
all  shrenk  an'  wiv'uh,  an'  folks  dey  doan'  know 
w'at  dey  gwan  to  do.  Sandy's  co'n  patch,  so  he 
tell  me  dat  day,  it  all  tu'n  to  dust,  an'  he  pig  it 
des'  wase  an'  wase  away  an'  stahv  to  deff,  'kase 
it  doan'  have  nuffin'  to  eat.  Sandy  he  set  in 
he  cabin  waitin'  an'  waitin'  to  follow  he  pig,  an' 
playin'  hymn  tunes  on  de  ol'  fiddle.  He  las' bit 
o'  co'n  meal  done  gone,  an'  he  feel  he  boun'  to 
be  de  same  'fo'  many  days.  De  night  'fo'  he 
scheck  de  dust  of  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  offen  he 
feet  he  sot    in    de    cabin    fiddlin'  an'  fiddlin'. 


Persecuted  Sandy  Bunn.         59 

Bahmby  bang  !  bang !  bang  !  suffin  clattuh  at 
he  do'.  Sandy  he  keep  right  on  fiddlin',  an' 
holluh  : 

"  Go  'way  fum  dah  !  I  know  yo'  !  Yo'  bean 
po'  ol'  r^Iammy  Jutkin  comin'  to  baig  me  fo'  a 
little  co'n.  Go  'way,  mammy  !  Ef  I  put  all  de 
meal  I  got  in  yo'  eye  yo'  nevuh  feel  it." 

Dis  w'at  Sandy  he  done  tell  me  dat  day  in  de 
wudes.  No  mattuh  who  it  bean  at  de  cabin  do,' 
dey  doan'  go  'way.  Bang !  bang !  bang !  dey 
clattuh  de  do'  ag'in. 

"  I  des'  sot  an'  finish  de  tune  I  bean  fiddlin'," 
Sandy  he  say,  "  an'  den  git  up  an'  open  de  do. 
An'  who  yo'  done  spec'  bean  standin'  dah  ?  A 
big  bah  !  De  same  ol'  bah  I  save  fum  de  flood 
las'  yeah  !  Unduh  one  ahm  he  holdin'  a  nice  fat 
shoat,  an'  unduh  d'udduh  one  he  holdin'  a  bas: 
o'  meal !  'Fo'  I  kin  say  a  wud,  he  lie  dat  shoat 
an'  dat  bag  o'  meal  on  de  do'  step  an'  'way  he 
go  'fo'  de  wudes  !  Den  I  know  I  done  frow  my 
bread  on  de  watuh  w'en  I  save  dat  bah,  an' 
hyuh  it  wuz  fotched  back  a  hundud  fol',  suh  ! " 

Sandy  he  des  nach'ly  yanked  dat  shoat  an' 
dat  meal  in  de  cabin,  so  he  tell  me,  an'  feas'es  ! 
U-m-m-m-umm !  how  dat  man  did  feas'.  An' 
den   he  mos'  wo'  he  ol'  fiddle  to  pieces   playin' 


6o     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

hymn  tunes  'fo'  he  tomble  in  he  bed.  Nex' 
mo'nin'  Sandy  he  bean  eatin'  he  breakfas'  offen 
some  mo'  o'  dat  bread  he  done  frow  on  de  watuhs 
de  yeah  befo',  w'en  de  cabin  do'  it  fly  open  an' 
in  strut  ol'  Gunnel  Ray.  Dah  lie  he  shoat  on  de 
cabin  flo',  an'  dah  lie  de  bag  o'  meal. 

*•  Whah  yo'  done  git  dat  shoat }  "  he  holluh 
to  Sandy.  "  Whah  yo'  done  git  dat  bag  o' 
co'n } " 

"  Why,"  Sandy  he  say,  "  dem  bean  bread  I 
frow  on  de  watuhs  a  yeah  ago  ! " 

Den  Sandy  he  done  tol'  de  Gunnel  'bout  de 
flood  an'  de  bah,  an'  how  de  bah  bean  so  tank- 
ful  he  des'  tote  in  dat  shoat  an'  dat  co'n.  De 
Gunnel  he  give  a  snote  lack  a  mad  bull,  an' 
swah  an'  swah  till  de  cabin  bean  blue,  an'  den 
he  'gin  to  pussecute  Sandy. 

"  Dat  my  shoat,  an'  dat  my  co'n  !  "  he  holluh. 
*'  Dey  bean  stole  las'  night,  an'  de  bah  w'at  stole 
em  an'  fotch  'em  hyuh  is  done  gwan  to  bunk  in 
Gape  Fair  jail  des'  as  soon  as  I  kin  git  a  wah'nt 
fum  de  Squiuh  !  " 

Den  he  resh  outen  de  cabin.  Sandy  he  see 
dat  dey  boun'  to  pussecute  him  to  deff  at  las', 
an'  he  des'  rise  up  an'  sheck  de  dust  o'  de  Gape 
Fair  kentry  offen  he  feet,    an'  flewed  away.     He 


Persecuted  Sandy  Bunn.         6i 

up  Norf,  now,  an'  'peahs  lack  he  hidin'  yit,  fo' 
feeuh  dey  attuh  him  to  pussecute  him  to  dis  day. 
But  dey  ain't ;  an'  w'en  yo'  go  back  I  weesh  yo' 
des'  tell  him  so.  But  tell  him  dey  hain't  got 
ovuh  tinkin'  down  yon  dat  he  bean  de  monst'us- 
es'  liah  dat  evuh  wuz  'long  de  Cape  Fair  Rivuh 
— an'  dat'  too  bad,  suh,  fo'  Sandy  he  bean  pow'- 
ful  pious  ! 


POLITE  SIMSON  COWLIP. 


POLITE  SIMSON  COWLIP. 


The  Black  Homer's  Recollection  of  Simson  Nat- 
ually  Lead  Him  to  Some  Reference  to  Other 
Startling  Products  of  the  Piney  Woods  and  the 
Cape  Fear  Country. 

I  doan'  spec'  yo'  evuh  did  heah  'bout  Simson 
Cowlip,  w'at  live  down  'long  de  Cape  Fair  'fo' 
de  wall,  an'  bean  so  monst'ous  pullite  ?  Co'se 
yo'  didn't !  I  des'  natch'ly  mowt  know'd  yo' 
nevuh  did  heah  'boat  him,  suh.  Desp'rit  pul- 
lite, he  bean  !  Um-m-m-um  !  How  pulli-i-i-te 
dat  man  bean  !  Pow'ful  nice  man,  dough,  Sim- 
son he  bean.  Pow'ful  nice  man.  Yo'  often 
heah  'boat  folks  bein'  so  very  kyine  dey  won't 
hahm  a  fly,  but  Simson  Cowlip  he  so  ovuh- 
whemmin'  kyine  he  jes'  natch'ly  won't  even  shoo 
a  fly !  Yes,  suh  !  Dat's  a  fac',  suh  !  Why,  one 
time  at  dinnuh  he  wife  say  to  him : 

"Yo'   Simson!"  she    say,   "  waffo'    yo'   doan' 

eat  yo'  pie  ?     Ain'  dat  pie  good  ?  " 

5  65 


66     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

*'  Nev'  bean  bettuh  pie  on  top  dis  hyuh  erf !  " 
Simson  he  say.     "  But  duh's  a  fly  on  it,  honey  !  " 

Den  he  wife  she  say  :  "  Fly  on  it  ?  Dat  doan' 
hu't  de  pie  !  Shoo  de  fly  away  !  Shoo  de  fly 
away,  an'  eat  yo'  pie  !  " 

"  Cain't  do  it,  honey  !  "  Simson  he  say.  "  Dis 
hyuh  fly's  wife  cain't  meek  pie  fo'  him,  an'  he 
jes'  natch'ly  inj'yin'  yo's  !  I  cain't  shoo  him 
away  !  Bimeby  he  done  go  'w^ay  he  ownseff,  an' 
den  I  eat  de  pie,  honey ! " 

Now  ain'  dat  des'  too  mogrifyin'  fo'  dis  hyuh 
erf?  But  dat  de  kyine  o'  man  Simson  Cowlip 
done  bean.  Too  pullite.  Too  monst'us  pullite. 
Why,  w"at  you  t'ink.^  I  see  him  mo'n  a  heap  o' 
times,  suh,  bare  he  haid  an'  bow  de  geeses  into 
de  bahn  !  Fac',  suh  !  Geeses  dey  bean  mighty 
funny  creetuhs.  Ev'body  know  dat.  Sometimes 
all  day  dey  try  to  git  froo  a  knothole  in  de  fence 
w'at  dey  cain't  even  git  dey  bills  froo,  an'  den 
dey  bob  dey  heads  goin'  froo  a  bahn  do'  so  high 
dat  a  giant  kin  walk  in  it  'dout  tetchin'  de  top  ! 
An'  many,  many  time  I  see  Simson  Cowlip,  w'en 
he  bean  standin'  by  de  bahn  do',  an'  a  geese  it 
come  up  an'  bob  its  haid  to  git  in,  teck  off  he 
hat  an'  bow  to  it,  an'  to  nex'  geese,  an'  to  nex' 
geese,  till  he  done  bow  de  hull  flock  o'  geeses  in 


Polite  Simson  Cowlip.  67 

de  bahn,  he  so  raonst'ous  puUite  !  Sho  !  \\'"at 
a-yo'  t'ink  o'  dat,  now  ?  Ain'  dat  been  pow'ful 
queeuh,  suh  ?  But  I  done  see  him  do  it  heap  o' 
times  !     Heap  o'  times  ! 

Plainty  bahs  down  in  de  Cape  Fair  kentry 
dem  days.  Plenty  of  'em,  suh.  'Fo'  de  wah. 
Desp'rit  ugly  bahs,  too.  Fight  teel  dey  die,  an' 
lookin'  fo'  fight  all  de  time,  suh.  All-1-1-1  de 
time.  Simson  Cowlip  he  doan'  keeuh  fo'  dem 
bahs.  Poof!  W'at  he  keeuh  fo'  dem  bahs.? 
He  great  bah  huntuh.  One  time,  des'  when  he 
pow'ful  busy  plahntin',  'long  kim  as  hiny  young 
chap  w'at  say  he  kim  all  de  way  fum  V'ginny, 
an'  want  to  hunt  an'  feesh.  Simson  he  so 
monst'ous  puUite  he  des'  quit  lie  plahntin'  an'  tote 
dat  chap  'roun'  wiv  he  bes'  hoss,  days  an'  days. 
Den  Simson  he  say  to  de  shiny  chap  : 
"  How  yo'  lack  to  keel  a  bah,  suh  ?  " 
Dat  shiny  chap  he  say  he  lack  dat  desp'rites' 
kvine.  So  Simson  he  teck  him  oat  in  de  wudes 
to  keel  a  bah.  Dey  hunt  an'  hunt,  an'  bahmby 
Simson  he  push  up  a  pow'ful  big  bah.  De  bah 
it  back  up  'gin  a  gum  tree  an'  gnash  he  teef  an' 
poun'  he  dies',  an'  des'  mowt  as  well  holluh  to 
Simson  dat  he  dah  him  to  peetch  in.  Simson 
he  could  keel   dat  bah  right  dah,  suh,  wiv  one 


68     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

shot,  but  sho  !  dat  won't  be  pullite  to  he  guest, 
de  shiny  chap.  De  shiny  chap  he  spludgin' 
'roun'  in  de  wudes  up  de  rivuh,  an'  Simson  he 
holluh  to  him  : 

"Would  yo'  please  be  so  kyine  as  to  come  dis 
hyuh  way,  suh  ?  " 

Dat's  w'at  Simson  he  holluh,  an'  de  shiny 
chap  he  kim  wollupin'  down  whah  Simson  bean 
facin'  de  bah.  He  doan'  see  de  bah,  but  he 
kim  up  close  to  Simson.  Simson  he  smile,  teck 
off  he  hat,  bow  to  de  shiny  chap  pullites'  kyine, 
p'int  to  de  bah,  an'  say  : 

"  Attuh  yo',  suh  !" 

Den  de  shiny  chap  he  look  an'  see  de  bah. 
He  tu'n  de  coUuh  o'  w'itewush.  He  lift  one 
yell  out'n  heseff,  an'  I  done  'spec'  setch  a  desj^'- 
rit  yell  nevuh  wuz  heeuh'd,  suh,  'long  de  Cape 
Fair  Rivuh,  nevuh  befo'  no'  sence,  suh !  He 
done  lif  dat  yell,  he  drap  he  gun,  an'  'way  he 
scrumble  fum  dah  lack  de  Ol'  Boy  heseff  kick 
him  in  end  !  Simson  he  have  he  hat  in  he  han^ 
yit,  an'  he  back  bent  yit  wiv  dat  pullite  bow. 
He  so  pow'ful  s'prise  at  de  onpulliteness  o'  de 
shiny  chap  dat  he  bean  frow  cleah  off  he  gahd, 
an'  'fo'  he  git  it  back  ag'in  dat  ol'  bah  wuz 
clawin'  an'  chawin'  an'  scrummagin'  him  all  ovuh, 


Polite  Simson  Cowlip.  69 

suh  !  Bowleg  Jeff  Pool,  he  choppin'  in  de 
wudes  on  de  yon  side  de  Cape  Fair,  an'  he  heah 
de  onpleasantness.  He  wobble  ovuh  dah,  an' 
lie  say  dat  ef  he  didn't  git  dah  des'  de  time  he 
do,  an'  squash  dat  bah's  haid  in  wiv  he  ax,  dah 
wouldn't  bean  'nough  o'  Simson  lef  fo'  de  Cali- 
nuh's  inques'  to  set  on,  suh  !  As  it  bean,  dey 
haf  to  tote  Simson  home  on  a  stretchuh,  an'  he 
done  stay  in  he  bed  free  weeks.  Den  he 
ask  fo'  de  shiny  chap,  an'  dey  tell  him  fo'  de 
fus'  time  dat  de  shiny  chap  done  gone  away 
long  ago,  in  de  night  time,  an'  teck  one  o' 
Simson's  hosses  wiv  him,  an'  nevuh  come  back 
no  mo'. 

"  W'ich  hoss  .''  "  Simson  he  say. 

Dey  tell  him,  "  De  gray  geldin'." 

"  Oh  !  "  he  say,  "  dat  bean  monst'ous  shame- 
ful !  Why,"  he  say,  "  de  gray  geldin'  it  lame 
in  bofe  its  hin'  laigs  an'  its  fo'  laigs,  desp'rites' 
kyine,  an'  dat  po'  chap  he  done  gone  away 
t'inkin'  I  onpuUite  'nough  to  leave  a  lame  hoss 
dah  a  pu'pose  !     Oh,  dat  monst'ous  shameful  !  " 

Seems  to  me,  suh,  I  nevuh  see  or  heeuh  'bout 
a  man  dat  bean  so  pow'ful  pullite  as  Simson 
Cowlip  bean.     Nevuh,  suh  ! 

An'   dat  dah   done  mind  me  dat  dahkies  dev 


70    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

bean  pow'ful  skeeuht  o'  bah.  Doan'  'spec'  yo' 
know  de  reeson,  suh  ?  Co'se  yo'  doan'.  De 
reeson  dahkies  so  pow'ful  skeeuht  o'  bah  is  dat 
dey's  full  o'  de  idee  dat  duh  ain'  noffin'  bahs  is 
so  desp'rit  fond  o'  doin'  as  to  chaw  off  nigguhs' 
heels,  suh  !  If  yo'  skimmish  roun'  hyuh  a  right 
smaht,  suh,  an'  don't  miss  any  p'ints,  bahmby  I 
bet  yo'  be  sayin'  to  yo'se'f  :  "  Sho  !  Hain'  some  o' 
dese  cullud  folks's  laigs  sot  a  desp'rit  sight 
fo'wuds  on  de  hoof  ?  "  I  bet  dat's  wa't  yo'd  be 
sayin',  suh,  'cause  natch'ly  dat's  jes'  w'at  yo'd 
see.  I'se  built  a  heap  on  dat  plan  myse'f,  suh. 
Bressed  ef  I  kin  tell  yo'  w'at's  de  use  fo'  all  dat 
heel !  I  nevuh  knowed  'cept  one  time  when  it 
'peah'd  lack  dat  heel  might  a  ben  put  on  de  dahky 
fo'  business,  an'  dat  time  de  'speriment  didn' 
wuck,  jes'  'cause  de  dahky  w'ut  owned  de  heel 
didn't  know  'nuff  not  to  make  a  ho^  o'  hese'f, 
suh.  A  heap  o'  cullud  gemmen  bean  tossin' 
pennies,  suh — dem  great  big  coppuh  ones  we 
use  to  have.  Dey  bean  tossin'  so  pow'ful,  suh, 
dat  fus'  along  mo'n  couple  dozen  pennies  rollin' 
roun'  on  de  groun'  at  one  time.  Sam  Cheste'- 
field  he  didn'  des'  happen  to  have  no  pennies  to 
toss,  an'  he  prancin'  roun'  countin'  heads  an' 
tails,    an'   mixin'  hese'f  up  in  de  game  mighty 


Polite  Simson  Cowlip.  71 

'fishus.  I  nevuh  did  see  setch  a  desp'rit  lot  o* 
flesh  layin'  on  de  hind  side  of  a  nigguh's  foot 
as  Sam  Cheste'field  fro  wed  back  frum  his — 
nevuh,  suh  !  Bimeby  dem  pennies  dey  took  to 
shrinking  an'  dey  shrink  an'  dey  shrink,  till 
bahmby  dey  cain't  find  no  mo'n  'bout  a  dozen  to 
toss  wiv.  Den  Shacky  Dillin'ham  he  cock  he 
eye  an'  sheck  he  haid  an'  say : 

*' Sho's  yo'  bo'n,  gemmen,"  he  say,  "  dah's  a 
nigguh  hyuh  w'at's  got  tah  on  he  heel !  " 

Den  all  de  dahkeys  dey  tu'n  up  dey  feet,  'cept 
Sam  Cheste'field,  an'  he  'gin  to  aidge  away,  suh. 
But  dey  cotch  him,  an'  w'at  yo'  tink,  suh  ?  Sam 
he  have  tah  on  he  heel,  an'  twelve  o'  dem  big 
pennies  bean  stickin'  in  it,  suh,  snug  as  kin  be, 
wiv  plenty  room  fo'  de  uddah  twelve,  suh  ! 
Bress  me !  but  Sam  Cheste'field  he  did  have  a 
pow'ful  heel  !  Ef  a  bah  evuh  chaw  dat  heel  off 
o'  Sam's  foot,  it  be  like  cuttin'  a  dog's  tail  off 
des'  'hind  his  ears,  suh  !  But  vv'at  good  dat  heel 
do  Sam  ?  Not  a  speck,  suh,  des'  'kaze  he  make 
a  hog  o'  hese'f,  an'  ritch  out  to  git  all  dem  pen- 
nies, 'sted  of  wobblin'  off  wiv  twelve  when  he 
hab  de  chance,  suh. 

Yes,  suh.  Dat's  why  dahkies  so  desp'rit  skeeuht 
o'   bah.     Dey's   full   o'    de  idee  dat  bahs  des' 


72     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

natch'ly  won't  do  nuffin'  else  if  dey  kin  git  to 
cliaw  nigguhs'  heels. 

Reckon  I  bettuh  tell  yo',  suh,  'bout  how 
crackinacious  bahs  dey  done  bean,  down  dis 
hyuh  way.  De  bahs  o'  de  Drownin'  Creek 
kentry,  dey  hog  bahs.  De  bahs  down  yon  in  de 
Cape  F'air  kentry,  dey  co'n  bahs.  De  bahs  way 
up  yon  in  de  mountain  grass  kentry,  dey  sheep 
bahs.  An'  de  hull  caboodle  of  'em,  suh,  hog 
bahs,  co'n  bahs,  an'  sheep  bahs,  dey  jes' natch'ly 
de  devil's  own  !  Pow'ful  bad  beas'es.  Pow'ful 
bad! 

Waffo'  dey  call  'em  hog  bahs,  an'  co'n  bahs, 
an'  sheep  bahs .?  Dat's  des'  w'at  I  done  gwan 
tell  yo',  suh.  'Zac'ly  w'at  I  done  gwan  tell  yo'. 
Drownin'  Creek  bahs,  dem  call  hog  bahs  'kase 
dey  steal  hogs.  Cape  Fair  Kentry  bahs,  dem 
call  co'n  bahs  'kase  dey  steal  co'n.  Mountain 
grass  kentry  bahs,  dem  call  sheep  bahs  'kase 
dey  steal  sheep.  Waffo'  Drownin'  Creek  bahs 
steal  hogs?  'Kase  dey  done  like  hogs  bett'n 
anyt'ing  else  ?  No,  suh !  Waffo'  Cape  Fair 
Rivuh  bahs  steal  co'n  ?  'Kase  dey  done  like 
co'n  bett'n  anyt'ing  else  ?  No,  suh !  Waffo' 
mountain  grass  kentry  bah  steal  sheep  ?  'Kase 
dey  done  like  sheep  bett'n  anyt'ing  else  ?     No, 


Polite  Simson  Cowlip.  73 

suh !     Den    waffo'    dem    bahs    do    dein    t'ings  ? 
Des'  'kase  dey  de  devil's  own,  dat's  v;hy,  suh  ! 

Des'  yo'  listen  hyuh,  suh.  I  tell  yo'  suffin'. 
De  po'  man  down  yon  in  de  Drownin'  Creek 
kentry  he  done  'pen'  on  he  hogs  to  he'p  him  froo 
de  wintuh.  He  doan'  rise  no  co'n  to  sell  much. 
Des'  'nough  fo'  hominy  wiv  he  hog.  He  kin 
sell  hog  an'  buy  co'n.  Po'  man  on  Drownin' 
Creek  he  lose  he  hog  he  lose  a  heap,  suh.  Po' 
man  in  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  he  done  'pen'  on  he 
co'n  mos'  of  all,  kase  he  rise  a  heap  o'  co'n,  an' 
sell  it,  an'  buy  po'k  if  he  want  to.  But  he  'pen' 
on  he  co'n  pow'ful  to  help  him  froo.  Po'  man 
up  yon  in  de  mountain  grass  kentry  he  done 
'pen'  on  he  sheep,  an'  he  kin  buy  co'n  an'  po'k, 
too.  Dem  bahs  dey  done  know  all  dat,  suh,  des' 
as  well  as  de  po'  mans  do.  Den  w'at  dey  do.-* 
Drownin'  Creek  bahs  dey  steal  po'  man's  hogs. 
Cape  Fair  kentry  bahs  dey  steal  po'  man's  co'n. 
Mountain  grass  kentry  bahs  dey  steal  po'  man's 
sheep.  Drowmin'  Creek  bahs  steal  po'  men's 
hogs  des'  so  he  cain't  sell  hogs  to  buy  co'n. 
Cape  Fare  bahs  steal  po'  man's  co'n  so  he  cain't 
sell  co'n  to  buy  hog.  Mountain  grass  kentry 
bahs  steal  po'  man's  sheep  so  he  cain't  sell  sheep 
to  buy  co'n  an'  hog.     Dat's  why.     If  Drownin' 


74     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

Creek  po'  man  he  rise  sheep,  den  Drownin' 
Greek  bahs  dey  steal  he  sheep.  If  Cape  Fair 
po'  man  rise  hogs,  Cape  Fair  bahs  dey  steal  he 
hogs.  If  mountain  grass  kentry  po'  man  rise 
co'n,  mountain  grass  bahs  steal  he  co'n.  Dey 
povv'ful  bad  beas'es !  Yo'  bettuh  look  out  fo' 
'em,  suh.     I  done  tol'  yo' ! 

Now  yo'  des'  see  w'at  dey  do,  suh.  Dey  in 
cahoots,  dem  bahs  is.  It  des'  dis-a-\vay,  like. 
^Maybe  long  time  ago  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  bahs 
dey  say  to  de  Drownin'  Creek  bahs  an'  de  moun- 
tain grass  kentry  bahs  : 

"  Look-a  hyuh,"  dey  say,  ''  po'  man  rise  heap 
o'  co'n  in  Cape  Fair  kentry.     Yo'  know  dat  ?  ' 

An'  de  udduh  bahs  dey  say,  "  Reckon  so  ! " 

Den  Cape  Fair  kentry  bahs  dey  say,  ''  Po' 
man  rise  right  smaht  o'  hogs  on  Drovvnin'  Creek, 
don't  he  ? " 

An'  Drownin'  Creek  bahs  dey  say,  "  Huh, 
huh  !     Oodles  of  'em  !  " 

Den  Cape  Fair  kentry  bahs  dey  says  :  "  Spec' 
it  pow'ful  nice  po'k. " 

An'  de  Drownin'  Creek  bahs  dey  smack  dey 
chops  an'  say:  '^'Um-m-m — um !  Sweet  as 
honey,  suh  !  " 

Den  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  bahs  dey  say  :  "  Po' 


Polite  Simson  Cowlip.  75 

man,  he  rise  pow'ful  fat  sheep  in  de  mountain 
grass  kentry,  don't  he?" 

An'  de  mountain  grass  kentry  bahs  dey  say : 
"  Des'prit  fat !  " 

Den  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  bahs  dey  say, 
*  Look-a-hyuh.  Yo'  Drownin  Creek  bahs  yo' 
des'  gevvuh  in  de  po'k  crap  in  yo'  kentry,  an'  we 
Cape  Fair  kentry  bahs  we  des'  reap  de  co'n  crap 
down  dah.  Den  we  swop  yo'  co'n  fo'  po'k,  an' 
yo'  swop  us  po'k  fo'  co'n,  an'  we  bofe  us  swop 
co'n  an'  po'k  to  de  mountain  grass  kentry  bahs 
fo'  sheep,  an'  dey  swop  us  sheep  fo'  co'n  an' 
po'k,  an',  by  jicketty  !  we  all  live  highuh  dan 
nigguhs  chawin'  simmon  fed  possum  !  Um-m-m- 
um!" 

An'  de  Drownin'  Creek  bahs  an'  de  mountain 
grass  kentry  bahs  dey  smack  dey  chops  an'  hol- 
luh: 

"  Wow  !  Dat's  de  palatinest  ting  we  evuh  did 
heah  !     We  done  do  dat,  sho's  yo'  bo'n  !  " 

An'  dey  done  do  it  evuh  sence,  suh  !  Dey 
pow'ful  bad  beas'es  !     Dey  de  devil's  own  ! 

Now  listen,  suh !  W'at  I  gwan  tell  yo'  I 
nevuh  did  see  myseff,  but  I  heah  'bout  it,  an' 
Squiuh  Blue  he  done  see  it,  an'  he  say  so.  So 
nobody   dey  cain't  say  :    "  Sho !  Dat  jes'  a  lie 


'](^     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

piece  out'n  de  story  books,  dat's  all  ! "  No, 
suh  !  Dey  cain't  do  dat,  'kase  Squiuh  Blue  he 
done  see  it,  an'  he  say  so.  Dis  hyuk  de  way  it 
bean.  Squiuh  Blue  he  rise  mighty  fine  hogs  in 
de  Drownin'  Creek  kentry,  an'  dem  bahs  dey 
he'p  deyseffs  to  he  hogs  monst'uses'  kyine.  Dey 
mighty  smaht,  dem  bahs,  and  Squiuh  Blue  he 
des'  cain't  set  he  eyes  on  'em,  nohow,  fo'  longest 
time  he  evuh  see.  Den  bimeby  he  cotch  a  big 
ol'  bah  totin'  off  one.o'  he  shoats,  an'  he  push  de 
bah  so  pow'ful  hahd  de  bah  drap  de  shoat  an' 
done  scoot. 

"  Yi,  yi  !  "  Squiuh  Blue  he  say.  "  Bimeby  I 
gwan  to  let  yo'  have  dis  hyah  shoat,  Alahs'  Bah, 
but  wain  yo'  git  him  I  git  yo'  suh  !  I  done  tol' 
yo' ! " 

Den  Squiuh  Blue  he  sen'  way  up  in  de  moun- 
tain grass  kentry  an'  get  a  big  bah  trap.  Den 
he  go  'way  out  in  de  wudes,  whah  he  mighty 
sahtin  dat  ol'  bah  lives,  an'  he  take  de  shoat  wiv 
him.  Den  he  make  a  pen  wiv  logs,  an'  he  set  de 
trap  in  de  pen,  an'  he  tie  de  po'  shoat  so  he  lay 
nigh  de  trap,  and  nobody  evuh  tink  dat  ol'  bah' 
kin  git  dat  shoat  wivout  de  trap  git  de  ol'  bah. 

"  Dah  !  "  Squiuh  Blue  he  say.  "  Dah's  a  nice 
fat  shoat  fo'  yo',  Mahs'  Bah  !     Yo'  des'  come  git 


Polite  Simson  Cowlip.  77 

him,  den  I  come  git  yo',  an'  stretch  yo'  oV  hide 
on  my  fence  !     Dat's  w'at  I  done  do,  suh  !  " 

Den  he  go  home,  chucklin'  pow'fullest  kyine, 
he  feel  so  good  'kase  he  done  gwan  cotch  de  ol' 
bah.  Two,  free  days  he  go  out  in  de  wudes  to 
git  de  bah.  He  snickin'  up  to  de  pen,  w'en  he 
see  a  big  bah  snickin'  up  too.  De  bah  have 
heap  o'  co'n  in  he  ahms,  an'  he  go  in  de  open 
side  de  pen.  Den  Squiuh  Blue  he  snick  up  close 
an'  peek  froo  de  chink,  an'  he  see  suffin'  he  nev- 
uh  did  fo'git,  suh.  Dah  de  ol'  bah  w'at  he  sot 
de  trap  fo'.  Dah  de  trap,  tight  shet  like  it  nevuh 
did  be  sot.  Dah  de  po'  shoat,  tied  des'  lack  de 
Squiuh  done  tie  him.  Dah  a  big  heap  co'n  on 
de  groun',  ah'  dah  de  udduh  bah  chuckin'  he 
ahmful  on  de  heap.  De  ol'  bah  w'at  de  Squiuh 
done  sot  de  trap  fo',  he  look  de  heap  o'  de  co'n 
all  ovuh,  an'  den  he  nod  he  haid  to  udduh  bah, 
an'  udduh  bah  he  jDick  up  de  trap  an'  shoat  an' 
'way  he  go,  p'intin'  fo'  de  Cape  Fair  kentry. 
Squiuh  Blue  he  des'  natch'ly  pick  heself  up  an' 
scoot  'way  from  dah,  he  so  pow'ful  skeeuht,  an' 
he  nevuh  say  a  t'ing,  suh,  till  he  git  safe  home  in 
he  house,  den  he  holluh  : 

"Mighty  Gabr'el!"  he  holluh.  "  Dem  ain' 
bahs  !     Dem  devils  !  " 


78     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

Wat  5'o  fink  o'  dat,  siih  ?  Ain'  dat  desp'rit  ? 
But  dat  ain'  de  all  of  it.  Joe  Yandle  he  a  po' 
man  down  yon  in  de  Cape  Fair  kentry.  He 
rise  co'n  on  he  plahntation,  an'  debahs  dey  keep 
a  reapin'  he  crap  so  pow'ful  much,  he  des'  git 
him  an  ol'  gun,  an'  he  load  it,  an'  he  tromp, 
tromp  up  an'  down  he  plahntation,  an'  peppuh  de 
bahs  w'en  dey  come  snickin'  roun'  attuh  he  co'n. 
De  bahs  dey  try  to  skeeuh  him  ^vay,  but  dey 
cain't  do  it,  an'  one  day  a  pow'ful  big  bah  he  des' 
come  squah  at  Joe  an'  pitch  in  to  tah  him  all  to 
pieces,  but  Joe  he  peppuh  a  hole  clean  froo  de 
bah,  an'  attuh  dat  de  bahs  dey  done  fight  shy  o' 
Joe's  co'n  fiel'.  Joe  he  chuckle,  'kase  he  tink  he 
skeer  de  bahs  so  dey  done  got  'nough  o'  him,  but 
he  tromp  he  plahntation  wiv  he  ol'  gun  des'  de 
same.  One  day  he  trompin'  froo  he  co'n  fiel'  an' 
he  see  a  pile  o'  shucks  on  de  groun'  an'  he  haul 
off  an'  kick  it.  Snap  !  suffin'  go  in  de  shucks, 
an'  Joe  he  des'  stan'  still  an'  holluh  like  a  bull 
at  a  beefin'.  Waffo'  Joe  he  holluh  ?  He  done 
been  cotch  in  a  bah  trap,  dat's  w^affo'  he  hol- 
luh !  Den  two  big  bahs  dey  resh  out'n  de  high 
co'n,  an'  des'  gwan  to  tah  Joe  all  to  pieces,  'kase 
he  done  fas'  in  de  trap,  but  Joe  he  peppuh  a  hole 
froo  one  dem  bahs  mighty  quick,  suh,  an'  scrunch 


Polite  Simson  Cowlip.  79 

udduh  ball's  haid  wiv  he  gun,  an'  slash  he  froat 
wiv  he  knife  'fo'  de  bah  know  w'at  done  drap  on 
him  !  Joe  he  holluh  so  loud  dey  hear  'im  'way 
to  de  house,  an'  come  an'  pry  him  out'n  de  bah 
trap.  Squiuh  Blue  he  heah  "bout  dis  hyuh,  bahm- 
by,  an'  den  he  know.  Dat  bah  wiv  de  co'n  w'at 
he  see  de  day  he  snick  to  de  bah  trap  in  de  pen, 
dat  bean  a  Cape  Fairkentry  bah  come  up  to  de 
"Drownin'  Creek  kentry  to  sw^op  co'n  fo'  po'k. 
He  fum  Joe  Yandle's  plahntation.  He  done  see 
de  bah  trap,  an'  des'  natch'ly  want  it,  so  dey  kin 
cotch  Joe,  an'  he  strike  up  a  swop  fo'  de  trap, 
too,  an'  tote  it  back  an'  set  it  fo'  Joe  !  Sho ! 
Dem  bahs  de  devil's  own  !  Yes,  suh !  Dey 
pow'ful  bad  beas'es  !  You  bettuh  look  out  fo' 
em,  suh  1     I  done  tol'  yo'  i 


POOR  BEAR'S  BAD  BROTHER. 


POOR  BEAR'S  BAD  BROTHER. 


The  Black  Homer  Tells  why  He  Weeded  out  corn 
Instead  of  Going  Fishmg,  Although  Mahs'  Mc- 
Keever  Said  He  Might  Go,  and  the  Fish  were 
Biting  Like  Everything. 

I  BEEN  des'  a  pickaninny  yit,  an'  one  day  I 
say  to  Mahs'  ^^IcKeevuh  : 

"  Mahsuh,  'peahs  lack  I  want  to  go  feeshin' 
miglity  bad  dis  evenin'." 

Mahs'  he  say,  "Is  de  feesh  bitin'  wufE  yo' 
w'ile  ? " 

•'  Um-m-m-m  !  "  I  say.  "  Nobody  kin  'membuh 
suh,  when  feesh  been  bitin'  so  strenuous  !  " 

"  Sho  !  "  mahs',  he  say.  "  Whah  dey  bitin'  de 
bes'  ? " 

"  'Way  down  yon  whah  de  rivuh  bend,  suh,  in 
de  black  hole,"  I  say. 

"  Huh,  huh  !  "  mahs'  he  say.     "  I  doan'  spec' 

yo'  got  bait  enough  to  cotch  des'  one  little  red 

mullet !  "  he  say. 

S3 


84     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  Jicketty  !  "  I  say.  "  I  done  got  bait  enough 
to  cotch  a  whale,  suh  !  " 

Den  mahs'  he  ponduh  in  he  mind  a  w'ile,  an^ 
bahmby  he  say  : 

"  Co'se  you  done  heah  'bout  de  bah  w'at  doan' 
do  nuffin'  but  des'  lay  in  de  woods  down  by  de 
black  hole  in  de  bend,  waitin'  togollup  anything 
w'at  he  kin  lie  he  ban's  on  ?  Co'se  vo'  done 
heah  'bout  dat  bah." 

"  Mighty  Gabr'el  !  "  I  say,  "  I  nevuh  do  heah 
nuffin'  'bout  dat  bah  !  " 

Den  I\Iahs'  McKeevuh  he  done  look  at  me 
right  smaht,  an'  bahmby  he  say  : 

"  An'  doan'  yo'  nevuh  heah  'bout  datbah'spo' 
brudduh,  neiduh  .? " 

"  No,  suh,"  I  say.  "  Is  dat  bah's  brudduh 
down  dah,  too  ? " 

"  Co'se  he  ain't  !  "  mahs'  he  say.  "  How  kin 
he  be  down  dah  w'en  he  been  daid  dese  yeahs 
an'  yeahs?  Sho  !  I  reckon  I  bettuh  tellyo'  'bout 
dat  bah's  brudduh,  'kase  he  been  a  Cape  Fair 
kentry  bah,  an'  dey  pow'ful  smaht.  Some 
day  maybe  yo'  have  'sperience  wid  Cape  Fair 
kentry  bahs,  an'  den  yo'  be  on  yo'  gahd  'gin 
'em." 

Den  mahs'  he  done  tell  me.     'Peahs  one  time 


Poor  Bear's  Bad  Brother.  85 

duh  bean  a  schoolhouse  in  de  woods  on  de  Mc- 
Keevuh  plahntation,  an'  mahs'  he  git  a  mighty 
nice  young  gal  from  'way  up  on  de  Tah  Rivuh  to 
titch  dat  school.  Dat  gal's  name  it  done  bean 
Jane  Chippendale,  an'  fum  w'at  mahsuh  say  I 
reckon  she  bean  pow'ful  peeuht.  She  live  heah, 
an'  she  live  dah,  an'  she  live  yon,  'kaze  folks  dey 
say  dat  gal  she  too  nice  to  shine  on  des'  one 
family  all  de  hull  time,  an'  so  some  time  she 
boun'  to  teck  pow'ful  long  walks  'fo'  she  git  to 
the  place  whah  she  livin'.  A  monst'us  big  bah 
bean  ramificatin'  round  dat  kentry  des'  'bout  dat 
dah  time,  stealin'  pigs  an'  cuttin'  up  didoes,  an' 
nobody  bean  smaht  enough  to  cotch  him.  Jane 
Chippendale  she  doan'  know  nuffin'  'bout  dis 
hyuh  bah,  an'  de  bah  he  doan'  knownuffin"bout 
Jane  Chippendale,  till  one  day  Jane  she  bean 
gwan  home  fum  school  down  to  Squiuh  Cam- 
mun's,  whah  she  livin'  den,  an'  des^  she  glidin' 
by  de  ol'  field  pine  lot,  on  de  aidge  o'  de  planta- 
tion, she  heah  suffin'  squidjle  in  the  bresh,  an' 
'fo'  she  kin  tu'n  to  look  an'  see  w'at  done  do  de 
squidjlin^,  out  in  the  road  kim  a  bah,  wiv  de 
brussels  on  he  back  riz  up,  an'  he  eyes  snappin' 
lack  dey  done  have  fiah  in  'em,  Jane  she  bean 
so  skeeuht  she  stan'  dah  lack  she  bean  glued  to 


86     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

de  groun',  an'  she  cain't  even  holluh.  De  bah 
he  stop  an'  tu'n  he  eyes  on  Jane,  an'  jicketty! 
de  snap  it  done  quit  he  eyes  dat  minute,  an'  he 
brussels  dey  drap  flat  on  he  hide. 

"  He  des'  give  a  gasp  an'  a  gulp,"  Jane  Chip- 
pendale she  say  when  she  tell  'bout  it,  "  an'  rise 
squah  up  on  he  hind  feet  an'  gleam  at  me  wiv 
one  eye.  He  rise  up  he  han's  des'  lack  he  done 
bean  so  'stounded  he  cain't  b'lieve  he  own  eyes. 
Den,"  Jane  she  say,  "  I  see  de  bah's  haht  go 
plunky,  plunky,  'gin  he  chist,  des'  lack  it  boun' 
to  jump  out'n  dah,  he  bean  scrimmaging  froo  de 
bresh  so  fast,  I  reckon,"  Jane  she  say. 

But  young  Mahsuh  Sam  Cammun  he  know  a 
heap  bettuh'n  dat.  He  know  dat  bean  des' 
'zac'ly  de  way  he  own  haht  done  plunky  plunk 
'gin  he  chist  fus'  time  he  see  dat  little  Janey,  an' 
de  way  it  done  keep  plunkin  ev'  time  he  t'ink 
'bout  huh  sence.  But  no  diffunce.  Dat  bah  he 
Stan'  dah  an'  gleam  at  Jane  mo'n  two  minutes, 
wiv  he  haht  a  plunkin',  and  den  Jane  she  'mem- 
buh  she  hav  huh  lungs  wiv  huh,  an'  she  des'  t'un 
'em  loose.  'Peahs  lack  dat  transmogrify  de 
bah.  He  scootle  ovuh  de  fence,  but  he  frow 
sheep's  eyes  at  Jane  all  de  time,  so  she  do  de- 
clah.     Den    Jane    she    des'  skittuh    by  lack  de 


Poor  Bear's  Bad  Brother.  8y 

win',  but  cain't  he'p  frowin'  huh  eye  back 
bahmby,  an'  dah  she  see  dat  bah  whah  he  done 
dumb  on  de  fence,  suh,  gleamin'  attuh  huh,  wiv 
bofe  he  paws  lyin'  right  whah  Jane  done  see  he 
haht  plunkin'in  he  chist !  Den  Jane  she  skittuh 
on,  an'  w'en  she  git  down  in  de  holluh  whah  she 
t^ink  de  bah  cain't  see  huh  no  mo',  she  stop  an' 
look  back.  An'  w'at  yo'  t'ink,  suh  ?  Dah  she 
see  de  bah,  in  de  top  of  a  big  daid  tree,  gleamin' 
attuh  huh  yit,  an'  his  paws  dey  done  bean 
squeeze  tight  ag'in  he  chist,  suh  !  Dat  bah 
scrooch  in  dat  tree  yit  when  Jane  scoot  in 
i\lahsuh  Cammun's  house,  but  when  she  look 
out'n  de  window  de  bah  bean  gone. 

Co'se,  ev'body  dey  know  dis  hyuh  bah  bean 
de  one  w'at  bean  scrummagin'  roun'  de  plahnta- 
tions  so  long,  an'  when  Jane  she  heah  de  slam- 
bacious  t'ings  w'at  dat  bah  done  do,  she  mighty 
skeeuht  'bout  gwan  to  huh  school  nex'  mo'nin', 
but  young  Mahsuh  Sam  he  teck  he  gun  an'  go 
wiv  huh,  so  he  kin  kill  dat  bah  if  it  kim  out  dat 
a-way  ag'in.  But  de  bah  doan'  show  heseff,  an' 
Mahsuh  Sam  he  done  go  back  home  wiv  he  haht 
plunkin'  'gin  he  chist  wussuh  dan  evuh.  But 
when  Jane  she  glide  'long  dat  way  to  de  planta- 
tion attuh  school  dat  evenin',  dah  de  bah  ag'in  ! 


8S    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

Dis  time  he  keep  'way  ovuh  in  de  ol' field,  but  he 
gleam  at  Jane,  an'  press  he  paws  'gin  he  chist, 
an'  roll  an'  scroll  he  eyes,  Jane  she  do  declah, 
des'  lack  a  dyin'  calf.  Jane  she  doan  be  skeeuht 
lack  she  bean  d'udduh  time,  but  she  scoot  by, 
an'  when  she  look  back,  dah  de  bah  on  de  fence, 
gleamin'  attuh  huh  ;  an'  when  she  git  down  in 
de  holluh,  dah  de  bah  up  in  de  tree,  holdin'  he 
paws  'gin  he  chist,  des'  lack  he  keepin'  he  haht 
from  plunkin'  out  o'  dah  ! 

Nex'  day  all  de  folks  dey  lie  fo'  dat  bah  in  de 
ol'  field  wiv  guns,  so  dey  kin  wuffle  him  down 
wiv  lead  ef  he  'peah  dah  on  parade  fo'  Jane,  but 
he  doan'  'peah.  Jane  she  glide  on  by  whah  de 
men  dey  lyin'  fo'  de  bah,  an'  fo'  she  done  gone 
fah,  dah  de  bah,  suh,  sho's  you  bo'n,  peekin' 
out  at  huh  fum  de  bush,  wiv  he  paws  on  he 
chist !  So  bahmby  folks  dey  see  de  bah  boun' 
to  act  so  lack  a  gemman,  an'  doan'  lie  roun'  dah 
to  chaw  de  peeuht  little  schoolma'am,  an'  bean 
so  took  up  wiv  huh  dat  he  give  de  pigs  a  rest, 
dat  dey  doan'  was'e  dey  time  no  mo'  lyin'  fo'  him 
wiv  guns.  An'  Jane,  she  doan  be  feeuhd  o'  de 
bah  no  mo',  but  'peahs  lack  she  mighty  tickled 
to  see  him  waitin'  fo^  huh,  fus'  in  one  place,  den 
in  annudduh,  nevuh  comin'  nigh  huh,  but  always 


Poor  Bear's  Bad  Brother.        89 

gleamin'  at  huh  like  a  dyin'  calf,  an'  holdin'  he 
haht  down  wiv  he  paws.  Ev'body  dey  teck  to 
teasin'  Jane  an'  jokin'  huh  'kaze  a  bah  des' 
natch'ly  tumble  haid  ovah  heels  in  love  wiv  huh 
— ev'body  but  young  ]\Iahsuh  Sam  Cammun,  an' 
he  swah  an'  swah  dat  de  fus'  t'ing  dat  bah  know 
he  done  git  he  soft  pate  knocked  off.  But  some- 
how Mahsuh  Sam  he  nevuh  did  'peah  to  go  an' 
teck  de  job  he  ownseff. 

Now  dey  bean  some  desp'rit  scrunchy  folks 
down  dah,  an'  Jane  Chippendale  she  done  fine 
de  pickin'  mighty  slim  sometimes  whah  she 
boa'd.  Bahmby  she  git  to  one  o'  dem  dah 
places,  an'  folks  dey  say  : 

"  Po'  Janey.  She  des'  natch'ly  stahve  to  deff 
dah  !  Dey  doan'  nevuh  have  nuffin'  dah  but  co'n 
pone  an'  'lasses,  an'  'lasses  an'  co'n  pone  ;  an' 
dey  nevuh  do  have  much  o'  dat!  " 

But  w'at  yo'  t'ink,  suh  ?  Fus'  mo'nin'  attuh 
Janey  bean  dah,  ef  dey  doan'  fine  on  de  do'  step 
the  nices'  hunk  o'  juicy  ven'son  w'at  evuh  did 
be  sliced  fum  a  buck  or  a  doe.'  An'  w'at  else 
yo'  t'ink,  suh  ?  Bah  tracks  dey  done  lead  fum 
de  woods  to  dat  do'  step,  an'  bah  tracks  dey 
done  lead  'way  fum  dat  do'  step  to  de  woods  ! 
An'  dem  bah  tracks  dey  bean  so  monst'us  big 


90    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

dat  folks  know  duh  ain't  no  bah  kin  meek  'em 
but  dat  singacious  bah  w'at  lose  he  haht  ovuh 
de  little  schoolma'm  !  An'  all  de  time  Janey  she 
done  boa'd  dah  dat  bah  keep  de  house  in  ven'- 
son,  and  Janey  she  des'  live  on  de  fat  o'  de  Ian  ! 
An'  dat  pestuh  folks  de  desp'uttes'  kyine,  'kaze 
it  spooky,  suh  !     It  spooky  ! 

\A'ell,  suh,  dat  plunkin'  o'  jMahsuh  Sam  Cam- 
mun's  haht  it  doan'  plunk  fo'  nuffin',  suh,  'kase 
bahmby  folks  dey  see  dat  Jane  she  kyine  o'  like  it, 
an'  one  day  Jane  she  say  she  gwan  to  quit  de 
school,  'kaze  she  gwan  to  marry  Sam.  'Peahs  lack 
de  bah  doan  heah  nuffin'  'bout  dat,  'kaze  Jane 
she  see  him  heah  an'  dah  an'  yon,  peekin'  at  huh 
wid  dem  dyin'  calf's  eyes  an'  holdin'  he  haht  in 
he  chist.  Sometimes  he  stay  all  day  high  in  de 
wild  bullis  grapevines  back  de  school-house, 
peekin'  at  Janey,  an'  she  doan'  tell  nobody,'  kase 
she  doan'  want  folks  to  shoot  de  bah. 

Den  de  day  it  kim  when  Janey  an'  Mahsuh 
Sam  dey  gone  gwan  to  be  married.  Dey  ridin' 
to  de  preachuh,  an'  'way  up  'long  de  road  Janey 
she  done  see  de  bah,  and  de  bah  he  ain'  got  no 
eyes  des'  den  fo'  nobody  but  Janey,  and  he  look 
soft  at  huh,  an'  hold  he  chist.  Den  bahmby  he 
see  Mahsuh  Sam.     An'  den  he  see  Janey  she  all 


Poor  Bear's  Bad  Brother.       91 

in  huh  white  dress,  an'  huh  ribbons  flyin  an' 
she  des'  a-beamin'  on  Sam,  an'  Sam  des' 
a-beamin'  on  huh.  Den  dat  bah  he  know. 
Janey  she  done  declah  she  nevuh  did  see  setch 
a  t'ing  as  de  way  dat  bah  done  look  out'n  he 
eyes  des'  ef  de  hull  wul'  it  done  tu'n  dark  an' 
dreary !  Janey  she  do  declah  it  mos'  meek  huh 
weep  big  teahs,  De  bah  he  poun'  he  chist  an' 
'way  he  scuffle  in  de  woods.  Des'  little  w'ile 
attuh  dat  IMahs'  McKeevuh  say  he  bean  gwan 
by  de  schoolhouse  an'  he  heah  a  sloshin'  in  de 
wild  bullis  grapevines  back  dab.  He  go  in  dah, 
an'  w'at  yo'  t'ink,  suh  ,''  'Way  up  in  de  vines 
hang  dat  bah.  He  done  twis'a  vine  roun'  he 
neck  an'  drap  out'n  de  tree,  an'  dah  he  hang, 
suh,  kickin'  he  las'  kick. 

"  He  des'  natch'ly  done  kill  heseff  fo'  love," 
Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  say.  "  Dat's  all.  He  a 
mighty  smaht  bah,  but  jicketty  !  w'at  a  sapana- 
cious  fool  he  done  bean  !  An'  dat  savage  oV 
bah  down  dah  by  de  black  hole  in  de  bend  o'  de 
rivuh  he  bean  dat  po'  bah's  brudduh  come  hyuh 
to  des'  'venge  him  !  Dat's  w'at  he  done  do," 
mahs'  he  say. 

Den  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  look  at  me  right 
smaht  ag'in,  an'  he  say : 


92     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  Sho  !  Why,  yo'  bean  fattuh  dan  a  'simmon- 
fed  possum  ! ''  he  say.  "  I  nevuh  do  see  setch  a 
fat  little  nigguh  lack  yo' !  An'  I  des'  bet  yo' 
bean  tenduh  as  a  chicken  !  Whew  !  How  dat 
po'  bah's  brudduh  done  gwan  to  smack  he  lips 
an'  chuckle  when  he  see  yo'  feeshin'  down  dah 
in  de  black  hole !  Um-m-m-m — um  !  how  he 
done  chuckle  !  Why,  sho'ly  yo'  kin  go  feeshin'," 
mahs'  he  say,  "  ef  yo'  bean  sho'  yo'  done  got 
bait  enough,  an'  dat  de  feesh  dey  bean  bitin'. 
Co'se  yo'  kin  go  feeshin',"  mahs'  he  say. 

But  den  I  des'  happen  to  t'ink  how  dat  co'n 
done  need  weedin'  out,  'kaze  de  weeds  dey 
growin'  mighty  rank,  an'  I  feel  monst'us  guilty 
dat  I  doan'  go  he'p  weed  dat  co'n  'stid  o'  t'inkin' 
'bout  mopin'  on  de  rivuh  bank  wiv  a  ol'  feesh 
pole,  an'  I  say  to  mahsuh  : 

"Yo'  very  kyine,  mahsuh,  but  'peahs  lack  I 
bettuh  he'p  weed  out  dat  co'n,  suh." 

Mahs'  he  grin  an'  say  dat  bean  all  right,  an'  I 
skittuh  fo'  de  co'n  field.  Des'  fo'  I  git  dah  I 
look  back,  an'  I  see  mahsuh  totin'  de  feesh  pole 
an'  de  bait  he  ownseff,  an'  p'intin'  straight  fo' 
de  black  hole. 

"Jicketty!"  I  say,  "Mahs'  McKeevuh  done 
bean  de  bol'est  man  I  evuh  did  see  !     I  des'  bet 


Poor  Bear's  Bad  Brother.       93 

he  gwan  clown  von  to  kill  dat  ol'  bah.  He 
mighty  kyine  man,  mahsuh  bean,"  I  say. 

I  he'p  weed  de  co'n  all  day,  an'  mahs'  he  kim 
back  dat  evenin',  totin'  a  heap  o'  jackfeesh  w'at 
he  done  cotch,  but  he  doan'  have  de  coccuss  o' 
dat  monst'us  ol'  bah.     Bahmby  I  say : 

"  Di'n  de  ol'  bah  joggle  yo',  mahsuh  ? " 

"  He  done  peek  out  o'  dem  woods  ! "'  mahs'  he 
say,  "but  I  reckon  he  t'ink  I  too  ol'  an'  tough, 
an'  he  skeeuh'd  o'  me." 

Den  mahs'  he  look  at  me  an'  chuckle  ovuh  de 
wav  he  done  fool  dat  ol'  bah,  an'  he  tell  me  I  kin 
git  some  mo'  bait  an'  go  feeshin'  down  dah  nex' 
day,  but  I  bean  so  busy  wiv  de  co'n  dat  I  can't 
git  away,  an'  I  nevuh  did  see  de  vengeful  brud- 
duh  o'  dat  po'  bah  w'at  done  kill  heseff  fo'  love. 
Doan'  dat  be  too  monst'us  bad,  suh  ? 


THE  SELFISH  GOBBLER. 


THE  SELFISH  GOBBLER. 


A  Story  by  the  Black  Homer,  Showing  Tow  Greed 
is  Sure  to  Over-reach  itself,  and  How  Much 
Better  it  is  to  Share  with  Your  P'ellows,  even 
though  They  may  Not  be  in  Your  Set. 

He  chillun  an'  he  chillun's  chillun  might  be 
livin'  dah  yit,  I  reckon,  if  dat  ol'  gobbluh  didn't 
have  trouble  wiv  an  ol'  bah  w'at  come  snoopin' 
roun'  in  dah.  Dat  gobbluh  an'  he  fambly  have 
nicest  kyine  o'  pickin'  in  dat  timbuh.  Um-m-m, 
um-m-m  !  w'at  nice  pickin'  dat  ol'  tucky  an'  he 
fambly  have  !  Ac'ons,  aco'ns,  aco'ns — heaps  an' 
heaps  of  'em  ;  an'  wil'  grapes !  Sho !  Wil' 
grapes  jes'  natch'ly  dim  an'  kink  an'  twis'  'em- 
se'fs  'mongst  dat  timbuh,  an'  ritch  out  dis  a-way, 
dat  a-way,  dis  a-way,  dat  a-way,  till  it  'peahs  like 
dey  goin'  to  hug  an'  squeeze  dat  big  timbuh  jes' 
'bout  to  deff  wiv  joy,  dey  so  pow'ful  glad  dey 
livin'  in  dah  !  But  dat  ol'  tucky  gobbluh  he  done 
7  97 


98     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

t'ink  it  ain't  'nough  fo'  him  to  be  jes'  a  tucky,  an' 
he  set  heseff  up  to  be  a  hog,  too,  an'  he  overritch 
heseff.  Desp'rit  sight,  he  did,  suh  !  Desp'rit 
sight ! 

Monst'us  cur'us,  too,  waffo'  dat  ol'  gobbluh  be 
so  seffish,  'kase  he  mighty  good  to  he  wife,  an' 
wil'  tucky  gobbkihs  w'at  don'  lickdey  wifes,  suh, 
dey's  pow'ful  scahce.  'Tickly  w'en  dey  wifes  is 
gwan  to  hatch  dey  aigs.  Den  de  gobbluhs  dey 
git  mad  an'  ugly  as  a  nigguli  wiv  he  head  full  o' 
pine-top  rum,  suh,  an'  kick  an'  pick  an'  joggle 
dey  wifes  'round  till  de  po'  wifes  dey  wush  dey 
daid,  an'  snick  away  an'  hide  dey  seffs  whah  dey 
husban'  can't  fin'  'em,  so  dey  kin  lay  dey  aigs  an' 
hatch  'em.  But  dis  hyuh  ol'  gobbluh  he  doan'  do 
dat  a-way.  He  mighty  kyine  to  he  wife  w'en 
she  hatchin',  so  it  monst'us  cur'us  he  so  pow'ful 
seffish. 

One  day  he  drap  he  big  wings  on  de  groun', 
an'  swuU  up  he  ches",  an'  turn  all  he  blood  into 
he  wiskuhs,  an'  stret  roun'  an'  roun',  to  show  he 
wife  w'at  a  pow'ful  gran'  chap  he  been,  whah 
she  sot  on  de  nes',  hatchin'  a  new  fambly. 
Bimeby  he  quit  strettin',  an'  say  to  he  wife: 

"  Ise  gwan  ovuh  yon,"  he  say,  "  to  scratch  up 
some  las'  yeah's  aco'ns  fo'  mah  dinnuh,"  he  say, 


The  Selfish  Gobbler.  99 

"  an'  see  wuvvuh  de  grape  vines  is  buddin'  right 
smaht,"  he  say. 

He  wife  she  say  : "  All  right,  suh,"  an'  he  went. 

De  ol'  gobbluh  he  scratch  up  an'  pick  aco'ns 
till  he  craw  'mos'  bustin',w'en  he  heeuhd  a  scrunch 
in  de  groun'  hehin'  him,  an'  a  noise,  way  down 
in  somefin's  froat,  w'at  say : 

"  Boo-o-o-o-f !     Boo-o-o-o-f !  " 

De  gobbluh  mighty  skeeuht,  an'  fly  up  on  a 
limb.  Den  he  look  down,  an'  see  an'  ol' bah  an' 
two  teeny  cubs.  Dat  make  de  ol'  gobbluh  des- 
p'rit  mad,  an'  he  holluh  : 

"  Hyuh,  yo'  t'ievin'  bah  !  W'affo'  yo'  come 
snoopin'  roun'  hyuh,  rootin'  up  mah  aco'ns  ? 
Bimeby  I  'spec'  yo'  be  attuh  mah  grapes,  too  ! 
G'way  fum  hyuh,  bah  !  Dis  hyuh's  mah  plahnta- 
tion,  suh  !     G'way,  I  tell  yo' ! " 

Den  de  ol'  bah  des'  natch'ly  lay  back  an'  lahf 
an'  lahf,  an'  de  teeny  cubs  dey  mos'  tickle  dey- 
seffs  to  deff.      Bimeby  de  ol'  bah  say : 

"  Sho',  ]\Iahs'  Gobbluh  !  Ain'  yo'  'shame  yo'- 
seff  ?  Wh}'',  dah's  mo'  aco'ns  layin'  roun'  hyuh 
dan  all  de  bahs  an'  tuckeys  dah  is  anywhah' 
mos',  could  eat  in  a  yeah  !  " 

"  Doan'  keeuh  fo'  dat,  suh  ! "  de  gobbluh  he  hol- 
luh.    "  Dis  hyuh's  my  plahntation  !     Doan'  want 


100  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

no  t'ievin'  bahs  loafin'  on  it,  suh  !  G'way,  I  tell 
yo  ! 

Den  de  ol'  bah  lay  back  an'  lahf  an'  lahf  mo'n 
evuh,  an'  de  teeny  cubs  dey  des'  mos'  couldn'  hoi' 
deyseffs,  dey  so  tickled.  Den  de  ol'bah  root  up 
a  heap  o'  aco'ns  an'  chomp  'em,  an'  cock  she  eye 
up  an*  say : 

"Dese  mighty  fine  aco'ns,  Mahs'  Gobbluh ! 
Mighty  fine,  suh  !  " 

Den  she  lahf  some  mo',  an'  root  an'  chomp, 
an'  lahf  some  mo',  an'  root  an'  chomp,  till  de  ol' 
gobbluh  he  des'  natch'ly  git  so  pow'ful  mad  he 
riz  up  an'  plink  down  squah  on  de  bah's  back. 
An'  he  monst'us  heavy,  dat  ol'  gobbluh,  suh,  an' 
mos'  knock  de  breff  clean  out  dat  bah  w'en  he 
light.  But  de  bah  cotch  she  breff,  an'  done  kick 
an'  growl  an'  snap,  an'  try  to  sheck  de  gobbluh 
off,  but  de  gobbluh  he  clutch  de  bah's  wool 
mighty  deep  wiv  he  long  toenails,  an'  scrunch 
'em  down  in  de  bah's  meat  till  she  squeal,  I  tell 
yo',  suh  !  An'  he  peck  at  de  bah's  eyes  wiv  he 
sharp  bill,  an'  hammuh  her  wiv  he  big  wings  till 
she  gevvuh  sheself  up  an'  meek  tracks  mighty 
fas'  'way  from  dat  plahntation,  de  ol'  gobbluh 
clutchin'  de  bah'  meat  clean  to  de  backbone,  an' 
peckin',  and  holl'n  : 


The  Selfish  Gobbler.  loi 

"  I  tol'  yo'  to  g'way  f'um  mah  plahntation,  yo 
t'ievin'  bah  !  I  meek  yo  lahf  on  udduh  side  yo' 
ugly  chops  !  Reckon  yo'  won'  come  rootin'  up 
mah  aco'ns  mighty  soon  ag'in  ! " 

De  ol'  gobbluh  he  joggle  de  bah  dat  a-way  fo' 
mos'  a  mile,  an'  de  teeny  cubs  dey  tumble  'long 
behind,  squealin'  an'  whinin',  an'  mos'  wushin' 
dey  bean  daid.  Den  de  gobbluh  he  let  loose  an' 
fly  up  in  a  tree,  an'  lahf  an'  holluh,  an'  holluh  an' 
lahf,  till  de  ol'  bah  an'  de  teeny  cubs  los'  f'um 
he  sight  in  de  timbuh.  Den  he  go  home  an'  tell 
he  wife  how  he  whup  de  ol'  bah,  an'  he  frow  he 
blood  in  he  w'iskuhs  an'  swell  he  ches',  an'  stret 
an'  stret  an'  stret. 

Bimeby  de  ol'  bah  she  stop  an'  flop  down  an' 
wait  fo'  de  cubs.  Wen  dey  cotch  up  she  pant 
awhile  an'  say  : 

"  Chillun,  dat  ol'  tuckey  cock  de  mos'  mon- 
st'us  seffish  crittuh  on  de  face  o'  dis  wide  erf ! 
But  nevuh  min',  chillun  !  Yo'  mammy  git  even 
wiv  dat  tuckey  'fo'  she  die  !  Min'  w'at  I  tell 
yo  ! 

Den  de  ol'  bah  tell  de  cubs  to  come  along,  an' 
she  go  to  a  big  holluh  tree  whah  she  secon' 
cousin,  Mahs'  Coon,  he  liv  wiv  he  fambly.  Mahs' 
Coon  he  home,  an'  de  ol'  bah  she  say  : 


102  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  Mighty  glad  to  see  yo,'  Cousin  Coon  !  " 

Mahs'  Coon  he  say  he  mighty  glad  to  see  he 
Cousin  Bah,  an'  bimeby  dey  sen'  de  coon  Chil- 
ian an'  de  bah  chillun  out  to  play,  an'  de  ol' 
bah  she  tell  de  coon  how  de  seffish  ol'  tuckey 
gobbluh  joggle  huh  an'  muss  huh  up. 

"  Bress  my  soul!"  de  coon  he  say.  ^*Ise 
pow'ful  'stonished  !  " 

**  Yes,  suh  !  "  de  bah  say.  "  Dat's  w'at  dat  sef- 
fish crittuh  done  gwan  an'  do  to  me,  suh  !  Does 
yo'  know  dat  gobbluh  .''  " 

"'Deed  I  does,  Cousin  Bah  ! "  de  coon  he  say. 
"  Mighty  fine  neighbuhs  dey  am,  too  !  De  ol' 
gobbluh's  wife  she  des'  staht  in  yis'day  to  hatch 
her  fambly." 

'^  Dat's  joyful  news,  Cousin  Coon!"  de  bah 
say,  an'  grit  huh  teef,  and  look  desp'rit  ugly. 
"  Am  de  gobbluh  fon'  o'  he  wife  ?  " 

"  Um-m-m — um-m-m  !  "  de  coon  he  say.  "  A 
heap,  I  tell  yo' !  " 

"  Am  de  wife  fon'  o'  dat  hatchin'  .''  "  de  ol'bah 
she  say. 

De  coon  he  say  :  "  Pow'ful,  pow'ful.  Cousin 
Bah  !  Breck  her  haht  if  she  lose  dem  aigs.  She 
drap  daid,  sho'ly !  An'  de  ol'  gobbluh  too,  I 
reckon  !  " 


The  Selfish  Gobbler.         103 

Den  de  ol'  bah  she  grin  an'  she  grin,  an'  de 
way  she  talk  'way  down  in  huh  froat  make  de 
coon's  blood  tu'n  desp'rit  col',  suh. 

"  Now  we  git  even  wiv  dat  ol'  gobbluh  !  "  de 
bah  say :  "  Yo'  mus'  snick  dem  aigs,  Cousin 
Coon  !  "  she  say. 

*'  Bress  yo'  haht !  "  de  coon  he  say.  "  I  cain't 
do  dat !  Dem  tuckeys  good  neighbuhs  to  me, 
Cousin  Bah  !  Mighty  fine  neighbuhs  !  I  cain't 
breck  dey  hahts  dat  a-\vay  !     'Deed  I  cain't !  " 

"  Blood  am  tickuh  dan  wahtuh,  Cousin  Coon  !  " 
de  bah  say.     "  Yo'  mus'  snick  dtm  aigs  ! '' 

But  de  coon  he  mighty  sly,  an'  he  doan'  say 
nuffin'  fo'  a  spell,  an'  den  he  say  :  "  I  done  tell 
yo'  de  troof  'bout  it.  Cousin  Bah,"  he  say.  "  I'se 
des'  watchin'  out  fo'  dat  hatchin',  'kaze  I  ain' 
mighty  fon'  o'  aigs,  an'  my  fambly  ain',  but 
we'se  mighty  fon'  o'  young  tuckeys.  So  I'se  des' 
keepin'  an  eye  skinned  on  dat  hatchin',  so's 
w'en  de  ol'  gobbluh's  new  fambly  comes  'long  I 
kin  des'  natch'ly  snick  'em.  Dat's  de  troof, 
Cousin  Bah,  so  I  cain't  snick  dem  aigs,  doan'  yo' 
see  ?  " 

Now  de  troof  bean,  suh,  de  coon  he  try  to 
snick  dem  aigs  only  dat  mo'nin',  but  de  gobbluh's 
wife  she  holluh,  an'  de  gobbluh  come  an'  give  de 


104  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

coon  setch  a  jogglin'  'fo'  he  could  git  away  dat  it 
bean  monst'us  wond'ful  dat  he  git  away  at  all,  suh. 
He  want  de  aigs  mighty  bad  yit,  but  he  doan' 
reckon  he'd  try  to  snick  'em  ag'in,  Cousin  Bah 
or  no  Cousin  Bah.  Dat  bean  de  troof,  an'  so  de 
coon  des'  natch'ly  lie  pow'ful  hahd  to  de  bah. 

Wen  de  ol'  bah  heah  de  coon  say  why  he 
won't  snick  the  aigs,  she  des'  crunch  her  teef 
an'  swah !  Jicketty,  how  she  did  swah !  An' 
she  holluh  : 

"  Yo'  des'  as  monst'us  seffish  as  de  tuckey  gob- 
bluh  ! "  she  holluh,  an'  den  she  haul  off  an'  she 
sw-a-a-a-t  dat  coon  !  Um-m-m-um — m-m-m  !  how 
she  do  swat  dat  coon  !  She  lif  de  coon  off  he 
feet,  an'  he  nevuh  Ian'  ag'in  till  he  sail  away 
mo'n  ten  yahds,  suh,  an'  tumble  in  de  bushes ! 
Den  de  ol'  bah  she  holluh  to  her  chillun,  an' 
'way  dey  done  went.  De  coon's  wife  she  scam- 
puh  out  an'  fotch  him  in,  an'  t'ink  he  a  daid  coon, 
sho'ly,  but  bahmby  he  come  to  heseff,  an'  say  he 
wish  to  de  Ian'  o'  goodness  dah  nevuh  bean  any 
tuckey  aigs  no'  Cousin  Bahs  in  de  wide,  wide 
wuld. 

De  ol'  bah  she  hunt  up  a  holluh  log  an'  snug- 
gle de  cubs  in  it  an'  tell  'em  to  take  a  snooze, 
an'  she  go  fo'  a  walk.     Bamby  she  come  to  a 


The  Selfish  Gobbler.  105 

big  pine  tree,  an'  she  rise  up  to  scratch  huh 
mahk  on  it,  an'  gnash  de  bahk ;  like  bahs  does, 
sub.  She  scratch  an'  she  gnash  an'  meek  de 
bahk  an'  de  wood  fly,  till  bahmby  she  fin'  her 
paws  pow"iul  sticky,  an'  when  she  put  'em  on  de 
groun',  sho  !  she  'mos'  stick  fas'  dah,  suh  !  She 
skeeuht,  an'  she  look  up  at  de  tree  what  she  scratch 
an'  gnash  it.  Juice  runnin'  out  dat  tree  stiff  as 
tah,  suh.  Dat  bean  a  tahp'ntine  tree,  but  de  bah 
doan'  know  dat,  an'  she  bean  des'  gwan  to  run  away 
fum  it,  she  so- skeeuht,  w'en  suffin'  meek  huh  stop 
an'  considuh.  She  doan'  considuh  mo'n  a  minute, 
w'en  she  des'  lay  down  an'  lahf  an'  roll  an'  holluh. 

•'  I  git  even  wiv  dat  oF  tuckey  gobbluh  now  !  " 
she  holluh,  an*  she  rise  up  an*  gnash  dat  tree 
till  de  bahk  an'  de  wood  fly  off  clean  fum  de 
groun'  high  up  as  she  kin  ritch,  an'  de  stiff  juice 
resh  down  like  rain.  Den  she  dig  a  hole  in  de 
groun'  mo'n  a  foot  squah  an'  deep  as  a  dish  pan, 
an'  lahf  an'  hug  sheseff  like  she  crazy,  an'  watch 
de  juice  tumble  down  an'  fill  de  hole. 

INIahs'  Coon,  back  in  de  holluh  tree,  he  git  ovuh 
he  swattin'  bahmby,  an'staht  out  fo'a  walk.  He 
heah  a  noise,  an'  snick  up  whah  it  am,  an'  peek- 
in'  out  fum  'hind  a  stump,  he  see  de  ol'  bah 
gnashin'  away  at  de  tree. 


io6  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  Jicketty  !  "  he  say.  "  Dah's  Cousin  Bah  w'at 
swat  me  !  " 

He  watch  an'  he  listen.  He  heah  de  ol'  bah 
say  she  git  even  wiv  dat  tuckey  gobbluh  now,  an' 
he  heah  huh  say  she  kivvuh  up  dat  hole  full  o' 
tah  juice  wiv  leafs,  so  it  look  des'  like  de  natch'l 
groun',  an'  den  she  gwan  to  lay  a  trail  o'  aco'ns 
to  it,  an'  put  aco'ns  roun'  it,  so  de  ol'  gob- 
bluh he  teck  de  trail  an'  come  'long  right  to 
de  hole  o'  tah  juice,  step  on  de  leafs,  an' 
squash  !  dah  he  be,  cotch  in  de  tah,  an'  he 
cain't  git  away ! 

"  Den  I  come  roun'  hyuh  dis  even  in'  an'  have 
tuckey  for  suppuh  !  "  de  coon  heah  de  ol'  bah  say. 
"  I  git  even  wiv  dat  sefiish  ol'  gobbluh  !  Yum, 
yum  !  "  she  say,  an'  smack  huh  lips. 

Den  de  bah  she  go  back  to  de  gobbluh's  plahn- 
tation  to  staht  de  aco'n  trail,  an'  de  coon  he  des* 
lay  back  'hind  de  stump  an'  sheck  heseff  a  lahfin'. 
Den  he  scoot  back  home.  He  tell  he  wife  suffin', 
an'  she  lahf  and  holluh,  an'  den  he  call  one  o' he 
chillun  an'  tell  dat  chile  sufiEin',  an'  de  chile  he 
done  run  off  fas'  in  de  woods  one  way,  an'  de 
fadduh  he  run  nudduh  way.  De  chile  he  run  to 
de  log  whah  de  ol'  bah  snuggle  her  cubs,  an'  he 
wake  'em  up  an'  say  : 


The  Selfish  Gobbler.  107 

*'  I  know  \vhah  duh's  a  honey  tree,"  he  say. 
"Come  'long  an'  he'p  lick  it." 

One  cub  he  say  no,  but  udduh  one  he  say  he 
go,  an'  he  do.  De  fadduh  coon  he  run  to  whah 
de  or  tuckey's  wife  bean  settin'  on  de  nes'.  01' 
gobbluh  he  dah,  too,  an'  he  des'  gwan  to  plink 
heseff  on  ]Mahs'  Coon  an'  joggle  him,  w'en  de 
coon  he  hoi'  up  he  ban's  an'  tell  de  gobbluh  w'at 
de  ol'  bah  gwan  to  do  to  him,  an'  how  he  done 
gwan  tu'n  de  tables  on  huh.  De  gobbluh  he  des' 
dance,  he  so  tickle,  an'  he  wife  she  snickuh  a 
pow'ful  lot,  an'  dey  bofe  go  long  wiv  de  coon  to 
see  de  fun.  Dey  git  to  de  tahp'ntine  tree  an' 
des'  hide,  w'en  'long  come  de  coon's  chile  an'  de 
bah's  cub.  De  weeked  vouno:  coon  he  show  he 
little  cousin  de  juice  on  de  tree,  an'  tell  him  to 
lick  de  honey.  De  po'  little  bah  he  step  up 
mighty  peauht,  an'  sink  down  in  de  hole  an'  dah 
he  stick.  He  wiggle  an'  squeal  an'  try  to  pull 
heseff  out,  but  he  fas'  dah  as  if  he  grow  dah.  An' 
de  coons  an'  de  tuckies  dey  des'  lahf  an'  holluh. 
Bahmby  de  coon  he  say  : 

"  Sh-h-h  !  Dah  comes  de  ol'  bah,  layin'  her 
aco'n  trail !  " 

Den  dey  all  shet  dey  moufs  an'  keep  still  as 
moles.     De  ol'  bah  she  come  'long,  drappin'  huh 


io8  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

aco'ns,  an'  w'en  she  got  to  de  tree  an'  see  luih 
chile  cotch  in  de  trap  she  sot  fo'  de  gobbkih,  she 
mos'  drap  sheseff.  Den  de  tuckies  dey  fly  up  on 
a  limb  an'  hoUuh  at  de  ol'  bah,  an'  lahf  an' 
chuckle  at  huh  till  she  des'  natch'ly  mos'  go  crazy, 
she  so  mad,  an^  she  yank  an'  tug  at  de  cub  till 
she  git  him  out  de  hole,  cuff  he  eahs  good,  an' 
snick  wiv  him  'way  in  de  woods.  De  tuckies  lahf 
an'  holluh  so  much  dey  doan'  notice  dat  Mahs' 
Coon  he  ain't  dah  no  mo  ;  an'  dey  stahtfo'  home 
tickled  mos'  to  deff.  W'en  dey  gits  home  de 
gobbluh's  wife  she  go  to  squat  on  de  nest,  but 
she  des'  give  one  yell,  suh,  an'  tumble  ovuh  daid  ! 
De  aigs  done  gone,  suh  !  De  gobbluh's  wife's  haht 
des'  broke,  suh,  an'  she  die  daid  !  De  ol'  gob- 
bluh,  w'en  he  see  de  nest  empty  an'  he  wife  daid, 
he  des'  butt  he  haid  wiv  all  he  might  ag'in  a  big 
gum  tree,  an*  fall  down  by  he  wife's  coccus  !  An' 
de  weeked  IMahs^  an'  Missus  Coon  dey  snug  in 
dey  holluh  tree,  snick'in'  an'  snick'in',  'kaze 
dey  got  the  aigs  ! 

De  ol'  bah,  w'en  she  git  to  de  log  an'  chuck 
huh  cub  in,  she  so  pow'ful  mad  she  staht  out  to 
git  even  wiv  de  tuckey  gobbluh,  wevvuh  or  no. 
She  slosh  right  along  fo'  he  home,  an'  git  dah 
des'  as  de  ol'  gobbluh  he  floppin'  on  degroun'. 


The  Selfish  Gobbler.  109 

"  Ho  !  ho  !  Mahs'  Gobbluh  !  "  de  ol'  bah 
chuckle.  "  I  reckon  I  des'  natch'ly  teck  de  title 
to  dat  plahntation  o'  yo'n  now,  suh  !  " 

An'  he  chomp  de  ol'  gobbluh's  haid  clean 
off,  suh,  an'  had  tuckey  fo'  suppuh,  anyhow. 


A  VANISHED  HEAP  OF  GOLD. 


A  VANISHED  HEAP  OF  GOLD. 


How  Mahs'  McKeever's  Gallant  Father,  as  the 
Black  Homer  Recalls  It,  Lost  Untold  Riches 
and  a  Bride  Through  the  Amazing  Conduct  of 
a  Passing  Cloud. 

How  high  yo'  reckon  dem  dah  clouds  bean,  up 
yon,  suh  ?  Mile  or  mile  an'  half?  Huh!  huh! 
I  reckon  so.  An'  duh  doan'  bean  nuffin'  de- 
ceivin'some  'bout  'em,  neiduh.  An'  duh  doan' 
bean  t'ick  an'  heavy.  Any  one  kin  see  dat  dem 
bean  clouds,  easy  'nough.  It  bean  pow'ful  mis- 
fo'tunous  fo'  Mahs'  McKeevuh  dat  dey  doan 
have  setch  clouds  lack  dem  down  in  dat  Mexico 
kentry.  Pow'ful  misfo'tunous,  suh !  Mahs' 
IMcKeevuh  he  mowt  bean  de  monst'uses'  riches' 
man  in  No'th  C'lina,  suh,  if  he  fadduh  doan' 
tu'n  to  an'  lose  a  heap  o"  gold  down  in  dat 
IMexico  kentry,  one  time  dune  de  wah  we  done 
have  wiv  dem  Mexicos.  But  ■Mahs'  McKeevuh 
8  113 


114  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

he  nevuh  do  'peah  to  keeuh  'bout  it  one  teeny 
mite,  suh,  an'  he  only  des'  laugh  an'  snickuh 
w'en  he  done  tell  'bout  it,  lack  it  bean  des'  nuf- 
fin'  but  a  pow'ful  good  joke.  I  nevuh  do  see  de 
lacks  o'  dat  man,  suh  !  He  wun'ful !  How  fuh 
yo'  spec'  dat  Mexico  kentry  done  bean,  suh? 
'Spec'  it  bean  fuh  as  de  Peedee  kentry  ?  What ! 
Fudduh  dan  dat  yit  ?  Mighty  Gabr'el !  Whew  ! 
Dat  des'  natch'ly  mos'  knock  me  breffless !  Fud- 
duh yit  dan  de  Peedee  kentry  !  Why,  man,  dat 
mus'  be  mos'  to  de  udduh  aind  de  wul' !  Sho  ! 
Dat  done  squinch  me  fo'  sahtin',  suh  !  Yeahs 
an'  yeahs  I  bean  t'inkin'  miaybe  I  go  down  to 
dat  Mexico  kentry  some  day  an'  skrimmidge 
roun'  dah,  an'  maybe  I  bean  peeuht  enough  to 
fine  dat  heap  o'  gold  w'at  Mahs'  McKeevuh's 
fadduh  done  lose.  Jicketty  !  Den  I  kin  come 
back  hyuh  an'  be  des'  natch'ly  de  skiluriouses' 
citizen  in  de  hull  piney  woods  !  But  now  duh 
ain'  no  use.  Dat  Mexico  kentry  bean  too  dis- 
tantatious  fo'  me.  Fudduh  yit  dan  de  Peedee 
kentry  !  Whew  !  Why,  dat  mus'  be  mos'  to  de 
udduh  aind  o'  de  wul,  suh  ! 

I  done  spec'  fum  all  de  mighty  tings  I  heah 
my  ol'  mammy  an'  Mahs'  McKeevuh  tell  about 
him,  Mahs'    McKeevuh's   faddah  mus'  bean  de 


A  Vanished  Heap  of  Gold.     115 

fightines'  man  w'at  evuh  stomp  he  feet  an 
holluh.  If  duh  doan'  be  no  wah  an'  bloodshed 
w'at  he  kin  git  he  hand  in,  den  it  'peahs  lack  he 
des  pine  an'  pine,  an'  declah  de  wuT  it  ain'  no 
kyine  a  place  to  live  in  nohow.  One  day,  time 
I  bean  des'  a  pickaninny,  I  say  to  my  ol'  mammy  : 

"  i\Iahs'  IMcKeevuh's  fadduh  he  mus'  bean  a 
mighty  sojuh  man,  mammy." 

"  Sojuh  man  !  "  my  ol'  mammy  she  say.  "  Why 
he  doan'  nevuh  bean  a  sojuh  man  !  He  bean  a 
Majuh  in  de  ahmy,  chile,  an'  rode  a  hoss ! 
Sojuhs  dey  doan'  hef  to  ride  a  hoss !  Dem 
mans  on  hossback,  dey  ain't  sojuhs.  Dey  bean 
Gen  "Is  an'  Gunnels  an'  ]\Iajuhs.  Sojuhs  dey 
doan'  haf  to  ride  hossback,  chile,  riskin'  dey  life 
by  de  hoss  r'arin'  an'  frowin'  'em  off  an'  steppin' 
on  'em  an'  breckin'  dey  bones.  Sho  !  Sojuhs 
dey  des'  walks  de  groun',  an'  dey  doan'  haf  to  do 
nuftin'  only  des'  tote  a  nice  shiny  gun,  an'  a 
monst'ous  big  wahm  blanket,  an'  a  right  smaht 
o'  kittles  an'  tin  cups,  an'  a  box  strap  to  dey 
shoulduhs,  des'  to  kip  dey  balance  so  dey  kin 
tromp  easy.  Bress  yo'  haht,  chile,"  my  ol' 
mammy  she  say,  '*  dem  dah  mans  on  hossback 
dey  haf  to  sleep  nights  in  hot  tents,  dey  do, 
w'ile  de  sojuh  he  kin  mahch  up  and  down,  up  an' 


ii6  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

down,  right  in  front  o'  dem  dah  tents,  all  de 
night  long,  whah  he  kin  breave  de  fraish  aiuh  o' 
heaven,  an'  see  de  stahs  twinkle  an'  twankle  in 
de  sky,  an'  heah  de  owls  an'  de  tree  toads  sing, 
an'des'joy  heseff  de  pow'fulles*  kyine.  INIahs' 
IMcKeevuh's  fadduh  bean  a  Majuh  in  de  ahmy, 
chile,"  my  ol'  mammy  she  say.  ''  He  doan'  bean 
no  sojuh  ! " 

But  he  bean  a  mighty  fightin*  man,  an'  time 
dat  w^ah  wiv  dem  dah  Mexicos  it  kim  alons:, 
Tvlahs  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he  'des'  stomp  an' 
holluh,  he  so  pow'ful  tickled,  an'  he  scrumble  on 
he  hoss  an'  dash  away  to  dat  Mexico  kentry  to 
cut  an'  slash  and  dye  heseff  red  wiv  blood,  an' 
dat  wun'ful  man  bean  mo'n  sixty  yeah  ol',  suh ! 
Jicketty  !  'Peahs  lack  I  dreamin',  time  my  ol' 
mammy  done  tell  me  dat.  But  he  done  dash 
away  to  Mexico  an'  he  fowt  an'  fowt.  I  heah 
my  ol'  mammy  say  dat  dem  Mexicos  dey  bean 
de  coldes'  blooded  folks  in  de  hull  wul',  an' 
I  spec'  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  stan'  knee 
deep  in  dey  blood  so  long  dat  he  cotch  he  deff 
o'  cold,  kaze  he  kim  back  home  mighty  po'ly, 
an'  bimeby  he  done  die.  But  he  have  time  to 
tell  'em  'bout  de  tings  he  done  do  down  dah,  an', 
jicketty  !  wat  mighty  tings  dey  bean  !     Dey  des' 


A  Vanished  Heap  of  Gold,     117 

natcli'ly  meek  yo'  haiuh  stan'  straight  on  yo' 
haid  lack  a  po'eupine's  fedduhs,  suh  !  An'  he 
done  tell  'em  dis  hyuh  'bout  how  he  lose  dat 
heap  o'  gold. 

"  'Peahs  lack  dat  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh 
bean  cuttin'  and  slashin'  down  dah,  an'  he  fine 
heseff  in  a  place  whah  duh  bean  mountains  an' 
mountains,  an'  mountains  dat  rise  mos'  lack  de 
walls  of  a  house,  suh,  dey  bean  so  steep,  an' 
mountains  dat  poke  dey  haids  clean  froo  de 
clouds,  suh,  dey  bean  so  high,  an'  he  kin  see 
eagles  flyin'  'roun',  'way  up  dah,  whah  dey  have 
dey  nests.  An'  he  fine  heaps  o'  Mexico  gals  dah 
w'at  he  do  declah  bean  han'some  as  pictuhs. 

Dem  dah  gals,  he  say,  dey  look  attuh  flocks 
o'  sheep,  an'  w'at  yo'  t'ink,  suh  ?  Mahs'  McKee- 
vuh's fadduh  he  done  tumble  haid  ovuh  heels  in 
love  wiv  one  o'  dem  gals  !  Yes,  suh  !  Ef  he  do 
be  a  mighty  fightuh,  an'  boun'  to  cut  an'  slash, 
he  have  a  tenduh  spot  somewhah  in  he  haht, 
suh.  Yes,  suh  !  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he 
done  tumble  haid  ovuh  heels  in  love  wiv  dat 
Mexico  gal.  Mind  yo',  suh,  Mahs'  McKeevuh's 
fadduh  done  bean  a  wid'wuh.  Oh,  yes  !  An' 
dat  dah  Mexico  gal  she  tickled  'mos"  to  deff  an' 
tu'n  to  an'  tumble  in  love  wiv  Mahs'  McKeevuh's 


ii8    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

fadduh,  too,  so  she  do  declah.  All  de  time 
w'en  he  doan'  be  out  cuttin'  an'  slashin',  Mahs' 
McKeevuh's  fadduh  be  settin'  down  unduh  de 
trees  whah  dat  dah  IMexico  gal  she  watch  huh 
sheep,  so  de  eagles  dey  woan'  swoop  down  an' 
tote  de  lambs  to  dey  nests,  'way  up  in  de  moun- 
tains, 'bove  de  clouds.  One  day  she  p'int  to  de 
top  o'  one  o'  dem  monst'us  high  mountains  an' 
she  tell  Mahs'  JMcKeevuh's  fadduh  dat  one  time, 
long,  long  befo'  huh  gran'fadduh  bean  bo'n,  suh, 
a  king  have  he  hidin'  place  up  dah,  an'  dat  he 
done  kivuh  up  tons  an'  tons  o*  gold  up  dah,  an' 
all  dat  gold  it  done  lie  hid  up  dah  yit,  des'  fo'  any 
one  dat  bean  peeuht  enough  to  climb  de  moun- 
tain an'  git  it.  Mahs'  JMcKeevuh's  fadduh  he 
glim  he  eye  up  de  side  o'  dat  mountain  an' see  it 
liftin'  it  haid  "bove  dem  clouds,  mo'n  a  mile  away, 
an'  he  declah  to  de  gal  dat  he  wouldn't  dig  he 
way  up  dah  not  fo'  all  de  gold  duh  bean  in  de 
wide  wul'. 

"  Anyhow,"  he  say  to  dat  dah  Mexico  gal,  "  yo' 
done  bean  all  de  traizhuh  I  want !  '  he  sa}^,  "  Yo' 
wuff  mo'  to  me  dan  any  gold  mine  kin  evuh  be  !  " 
he  say. 

Doan'  dat  des'  about  kill  yo',  suh?  Do  yo' 
evuh  heah  de  lacks  o'  dat  ?     An'  it   des'  tickle 


A  Vanished  Heap  of  Gold.    119 

dat  dah  IMexicogal  mos'  to  deff,  so  she  gitkyine 
o'  keeuhless  watchin'  de  sheep,  an'  fus'  ting  she 
know,  swoo-o-o-sh  !  down  drap  an  eagle  fum  de 
sky  an'  gobble  a  nice  fat  lamb,  an'  swimpuh  'way 
wiv  it  to'ds  de  mountain  top,  des'  as  ea-e-e-e-e- 
sy !  An'  dat  lamb  bean  dat  i\Iexico  gal's  pet 
lamb,  w'at  she  so  pow'fulfon'  of  dat  it  des'  breck 
huh  haht  w'en  she  see  de  eagle  swimpuh'n  up, 
up,  up  wiv  it  to'ds  he  home  on  de  mountain  top, 
an'  she  des'  scream  an'  holluh,  an'  scream  an' 
holluh,  an'  declah  she  die,  she  know  she  do,  ef 
she  doan'  git  dat  lamb  back  fum  dat  monst'us 
eagle.  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he  fold  dat 
gal  in  he  ahms  an'  he  cheeuh  huh  up  an'  he  say : 

"  I  git  yo'  dat  dah  lamb  back  I  "  he  say.  "  I 
done  chase  dat  eagle  to  he  nest  an'  squabble  him 
till  he  tongue  hang  out,"  Mahs'  McKeevuh's 
fadduh  he  sav. 

Den  he  grit  he  teef,  an'  snatch  he  swo'd  an' 
dash  to  de  mountain  to  climb  it  to  de  easfle's 
nest,  an'  winch  dat  lamb  away  an'  squabble  de 
monst'us  robbuh  till  he  tongue  hang  ont.  An' 
w'at  yo'  tink,  suh  ?  Dat  dah  mountain  bean  de 
same  mountain  w'at  have  de  king's  heap  o'  gold 
hid  in  it,  'way  up  dah  'bove  de  clouds,  an'  wat 
Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  do  declah  he  nevuh 


120  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

will  dig  he  way  up,  not  fo'  all  de  gold  in  de  hull 
wide  wul' !  Jicketty  !  '  An'  dah  he  des  going  to 
cut  an'  slash  he  way  up  dat  steep  mountain,  des' 
to  git  back  dat  Mexico  gal's  pet  lamb.  Did  yo' 
evuh,  suh  ?  Did — yo' — evuh  ?  Des'  ef  it  doan' 
be  no  mo'  to  climb  'way  'bove  de  clouds  an'  cotch 
an  eagle,  suh,  dun  it  bean  to  co'nuh  a  chicken  in 
de  bahnyard  an'  gevvuh  it  in  I 

Up  an'  up  dat  mountain  dat  wun'ful  man  cut 
an'  slash  he  way,  ovuh  de  mighty  rocks,  an'  'cross 
de  monst'us  gulleys  w'at  gap  dey  black  moufs  to 
gollup  him  down  dey  froats,  chasin'  dat  dah 
eagle.  De  eagle  it  ritch  de  clouds  an'  punch  an' 
winch  its  way  froo,  till  ]\Iahs'  INIcKeevuh's  fad- 
duh  he  cain'  see  it  no  mo',  but  he  cut  an'  slash 
an'  dig  up  on  dat  eagle's  trail.  An'  bahs  dey 
woosh  out  o'  dey  dens  an'  gruzzle  at  him,  an' 
resh  to  kill  him  ;  an'  panthuhs  dey  drap  down 
fum  de  tree-tops  an'  scrunch  at  he  froat ;  an' 
M'olves  dey  yell  an'  sniff  an'  toggle  at  he  heels, 
but  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he  des'  cut  an' 
slash  wiv  he  trusty  swo'd,  an'  plunge  it  froo  a 
bah's  haht  dis  a-way,  an'  slosh  a  panthuh's  win'- 
pipe  dat  a-way,  an'  slit  a  wolf  open  hyuh,  an'  slit 
'nudduh  wolf  open  dah,  an'  skit  'nudduh  wolf 
open  yon,  till  dem  feeuce  wile   beases  dey  glim- 


A  Vanished  Heap  of  Gold.    121 

muh  an'  dey  gruzzle,  and  dey  weevuh  an'  dey 
wavuh,  an'  dey  wunnuh  w'at  dis  hyuh  pow'ful 
t'ing  it  be  w'at  cut  an'  slash  an'  scattuh  em  to  de 
winds  an'  sen'  dey  blood  reshin'  down  dat  dah 
mountain  lack  a  flood  ! 

Up  an'  up  dat  mountain  Mahs'  McKeevuh's 
fadduh  cut  an'  slash  he  way,  scattuh'n  he  paff 
v/iv  bah  an'  panthuh  an'  wolves,  till  bahmby  he 
ritch  de  clouds.  He  nevuh  did  see  setch  clouds 
lack  dem.  Dey  bean  so  monst'us  heavy  an' 
hahd  dat  he  cain'  do  nuffin'  but  cut  he  way  froo 
'em  wiv  he  swo'd — chip,  chop,  chip,  chop,  des' 
lack  he  nogglin'  a  gum  tree  wiv  a  ax  w'at  ain'  got 
no  aidge  on  it.  Jicketty  !  w'at  a  desp'rit  time 
Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  do  have,  chippin' 
an'  choppin'  he  way  froo  dem  deh  clouds ! 
Doan'  he  know  dat  Mexico  gal's  lamb  bean 
down  de  froats  o'  dat  eagle's  fambly  long  befo' 
dis  ?  He  spec'  maybe  dat  bean  so,  but  he  boun' 
to  fine  out,  an'  squabble  de  eagle  anyhow  and  all 
he  fambly. 

Bahmeby,  l^.Iahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he  done 
git  a  hole  chop  froo  dat  dah  cloud,  an'  he  pull 
heseff  up  an'  fine  heseff  mos'  to  de  haid  o'  dat 
mountain.  He  cut  an'  slash  he  way  on  up,  an' 
dah  on  de  very  tip-top  he  see  a  ol'  daid  tree,  an' 


122  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

on  dat  tree  sot  de  eagle.  Squah  at  de  foot  o' 
dat  daid  tree  dah  lie  de  lamb  !  De  eagle  ain' 
kill  an'  eat  dat  lamb  yit,  suh,  but  des'  roostin' 
dah  gloatin'  oviih  it,  an'  waitin'  fo'  he  mate  to 
git  dah  'fo'  dey  fall  to  andsquench  it.  ]\Iahs'  Mc- 
Keevuh's  fadduh  he  resh  up  to'ds  de  tree.  De 
tree  it  sot  up  on  a  ledge,  an'  de  eagle  it  'skivvuh 
him  an'  swoop  down  at  him  lack  it  t'ink  it  done 
gwan  to  wipe  him  from  de  face  o'  de  Ian'  wiv 
one  resh.  But  INIahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh's 
tresty  swo'd  it  flash  in  de  sun,  an'  glide  froo  dat 
eagle  fum  he  wizzen  to  he  tail,  an'  dat  eagle 
nevuh  did  know  w'at  lamb  done  tase  like  ag'in. 
Den  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he  'gin  to 
scrumble  up  dat  ledge  to  git  de  lamb.  He  grab 
a  bush  to  help  him  rise,  w'en,  bim !  de  bush  it 
pull  out,  an'  de  rocks  dey  'gin  to  fall,  an'  ]\Iahs' 
McKeevuh's  fadduh  he  have  to  jomp,  I  tell 
yo',  suh,  or  he  bean  kivuh  wiv  'em  lack  de  babes 
in  de  woods  !  An'  w'at  yo'  t'ink  he  see  den  ? 
Dah,  in  de  led^^e,  stan'  a  pow'ful  big  hole,  an' 
dat  hole  it  bean  piled  des'  as  full  o'  gold,  suh,  as 
it  kin  be  crammed  in  dah  !  Um-m-m — um  !  How 
dat  hole  bean  jammed  an'  crammed  an'  slammed 
wiv  gold  ! 

"Huh!  "Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he  say. 


A  Vanished  Heap  of  Gold.    123 

"  Ef  dah  ain'  dat  ol'  misuh  king's  traizhuh,  sho's 
I  bo'n  !  I  reckon  it's  done  gwan  to  be  mine 
attuh  dis  hyuh  !  "  he  say. 

De  Mexico  gal's  pet  lamb  it  dim'  down  an' 
jine  Mails'  McKeevuh's  fadduh,  an'  bean  des' 
tickle  to  deff.  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he 
mighty  tahd,  an'  so  he  t'ink  he  lie  down  an'  teck 
a  nap  'fo'  he  load  heseff  up  wiv  gold,  an'  he 
stretch  heseff  down  on  de  aidge  of  a  big  rock 
w'at  lie  on  de  face  o'  de  mountain.  He  nevuh 
did  know,  suh,  how  long  he  sleep,  but  w'en  he 
week  up  an'  stretch  heseff  an'  rub  he  eyes  an' 
look  'roun'  to  teck  a  look  at  de  hole  whah  de 
gold  bean  jammed  an'  crammed,  sho  !  dey  ain' 
no  hole  dah  !  He  look  dis  a-way,  dat  a-way,  an' 
he  'skivvuh  dat  he  ain'  on  de  mountain  w'at  he 
done  cut  an'  slash  he  way  up,  an'  he  cain'  tell 
w'at  mountain  he  done  bean  on.  De  lamb,  dah 
it  bean  lyin'  by  he  side,  but  \vhah  de  big  rock 
w'at  dey  done  lie  on  ?  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fad- 
duh look  roun',  an'  dah  he  see  dat  big  rock 
standin'  out  in  de  aiuh  mo'n  fifty  yahds  away, 
an'  a  floatin'  on  fudduh  an'  fudduh.  W'at  yo' 
t'ink,  suh  ?  De  big  rock  w'at  Mahs'  McKeevuh's 
fadduh  an'  de  lamb  lie  down  to  teck  a  nap  on  it 
doan'  bean  no  rock  at  all,  suh.     It  bean  a  de- 


124  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

ceivin'some  cloud,  an'  it  done  float  an'  float 
away,  an'  some  time  Ian'  'em  on  'nudduh  moun- 
tain, whah  dey  week  up  !  Ain'  dat  monst'us  ? 
'Peahs  lack  I  nevuh  do  heah  nuffin'  so  monst'us 
as  dat ! 

But  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he  doan'  stay 
dah  an'  moan.  He  got  de  lamb,  anyhow,  an'  he 
staht  down  dat  mountain  to  fine  he  way  back  to 
whah  dat  Mexico  gal  Hve,  an'  meek  huh  happy. 
But  'p'eahs  lack  dey  bean  toted  on  dat  dah  cloud 
a  heap  o'  miles  fum  dah,  an'  Mahs'  McKeevuh's 
fadduh  nevuh  do  fine  he's  way  back  fo' mo'n  two 
weeks,  suh.  When  he  git  dah  at  las'  he  skittuh 
to  whah  dat  Mexico  gal  watch  huh  sheep.  She 
doan'  be  dah. 

"  Whah  she  is  ?  "  Mahs'  McKeevuh  say  to  huh 
mammy. 

"Oh,  she  done  git  mah'd  yiste'day,''  huh 
mammy  say,  "  an'  go  to  'nudduh  paht  de  kentry, 
suh  !  " 

Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he  swah  till  he  do 
declah  de  kentry  roun'  dah  smell  pow'ful  wdv 
sulphuh,  an'  den  he  resh  out  froo  de  kentry  ag'in 
an'  cut  an'  slash  an'  stan  knee  deep  in  dat  col' 
Mexico  blood  till  de  wah  bean  ovuh.  Den  he 
kim  home  an'  bahmby  he  die.      It  bean  mighty 


A  Vanished  Heap  of  Gold.    125 

misfo'tunous  fo'  Mahs'  McKeevuh,  suh,  dat  dey 
doan'  have  setch  clouds  lack  dem  up  yon  down 
in  dat  Mexico  kentry,  'kase  den  he  fadduh  woan' 
lose  dat  heap  o'  gold,  an'  Mahs'  McKeevuh 
bean  de  riches'  man  in  No'th  C'lina,  suh. 

Fudduh  yit  dan  de  Peedee  kentry,  huh  ? 
Mighty  Gabr'el  !  Dat  mus'  be  mos'  to  de  ud- 
duh  aind  de  wul',  suh  ! 


THE  JUG  OF  LIVE-FOREVER 

WATER. 


THE  JUG  OF  LIVE-FOREVER 
WATER. 


How  i\Iahs'  McKeever's  Father's  Grandfather 
Got  it  From  a  Thousand-year-old  Indian,  and 
How  its  Virtues  Escaped  Him  and  Passed  to  a 
Decrepit  Mule  that  Now  Roams  the  Earth,  a 
Never-Dying  Methuselah  Among  Mules. 

"I  RECKON-  yo'  been  scrimmidgin'  'round  de 
kentry,  heah  an'  dah  an'  yon,  a  right  smaht  o'  yo' 
time,  suh  ? "  said  the  Black  Homer. 

The  Northern  man  replied  that  he  traveled 
about  quite  a  bit ;  yes. 

"  Den  I  bet  yo'    mus'    a-see    somewhah    dat 

evuh-livin'  mule   o'  Mahs'  ]\IcKeevuh's,  sho'ly ! 

I  ain'  nevuh  see  dat  mule   my  ownseff  not  fo' 

mos'  fo'ty  yeahs,  but  he  boun'  to  have   de  same 

swuUin'  on  he  jaw,  an'  de   same  tail  rubbed  off 

so  nigh   he   hams  dat  it  ain'  no  bigguh   dan   a 

nickel's  wuff  o'  twis'  plug  tobacco,  an'  de  same 
9  ^29 


130     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

string  halt  in  he  off  hine  laig.  But  he  woan'  look 
a  minute  olduh,  suh,  'kaze  he  cain't  look  no 
olduh,  but  he  look  so  aged  dat  ef  yo'  see  him  I 
bet  yo'  des'  up  an'  declah,  suh,  dat  he  a  twin 
brudduh  to  de  mule  dat  Balaam  bean  ridin'  time 
it  s'prise  him  by  speakin'  to  de  angel !  Co'se 
yo'  done  see  dat  mule  somewhah  in  yo'  scrim- 
midgin'  'bout  de  kentry,  suh  ?  " 

The  Northern  man  said  he  had  never  seen  the 
mule. 

"  Dat  monst'us  queeuh  !  "  exclaimed  the  Black 
Homer  of  Jimtown.  ''  It  bean  mos'  fo'ty  yeahs 
sence  I  sot  eyes  on  dat  dah  mule  my  ownseff, 
but  he  boun'  to  be  wand'n'  on  de  face  o'  de  Ian' 
somewhah,  suh  !  He  cain  t  help  heself  !  Mighty 
queeuh  yo'  hain'  nevuh  see  dat  mule  in  yo' 
scrimmidgin'." 

But  the  Northern  man  insisted  that  he  hadn't 
seen  the  mule,  nevertheless.  The  Black  Homer 
mused  again,  and  by  and  by  said  : 

"  I  weesh  yo'  only  done  bean  down  yon  in  de 
Cape  Fair  kentry  'fo'  de  wah,  suh.  Den  yo'  kin 
know  Mahs'  McKeevuh,  an'  heah  him  talk 
'bout  tings.  Jicketty  !  He  bean  de  mos'  wun- 
ful  man  w'at  evuh  do  live,  'peahs  to  me  I  But 
co'se  he  cain't  help  dat,  'kase  he  fadduh  an'  he 


The  Jug  of  Live- Forever  Water.     131 

gran'faddiih  an'  he  fadduh's  gran'fadduh  dey  all 
bean  monst'us  wun'ful  folks,  too." 

The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown  paused  and 
mused  again.     Then  he  said  : 

"  Ef  it  doan'  be  fo'  de  man  w'at  own  datevuh- 
livin'  mule,  suh,  ]\Iahs'  ^IcKeevuh's  fadduh's 
gran'fadduh  an'  gran'mudduh  dey  bofe  be  livin' 
to  dis  hyuh  day,  chippuh  an'  peeuht  as  goo- 
buhs,  so  dey  would,  an'  dat  w^and'n'  mule  he 
be  daid  dis  hyuh  hund'd  an'  fifty  yeahs  an' 
mo  ! 

There  must  have  been  a  look  on  the  North- 
erner's face  that  the  Black  Homer  interpreted  to 
the  disadvantap:e  of  his  amazino;  statement,  for 
he  said  quickly : 

"  Yo' reckon  dat  bean  mighty  queeuh,  huh? 
Well,  suh,  Mahs'  McKeevuh  done  say  dat,  an' 
Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh  he  done  say  it,  an' 
my  ol'  mammy  she  done  say  it !  Now  w'at  yo' 
gwan  to, reckon  'bout  it,  suh,  attuh  dat?" 

The  Northern  man  declared  that  he  had  no 
idea  of  reckoning  anything  at  all  about  it,  after 
that  citing  of  authorities,  and  the  Black  Homer 
nodded  his  head  decisively  and  said  : 

"  Dat  des'  w'at  I  done  reckon  yo'  gwan  to 
reckon,  suh !  " 


132     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

Then  he  looked  up  at  the  clouds  awhile,  and 
by  and  by  continued  : 

"1  spec'  I  bettuh  tell  yo'  'bout  dat,  suh,  des' 
to  clarify  yo'  mind,  an'  den  I  bet  yo'  weesh  yo' 
ownseff  dat  yo'  done  been  down  yon  in  de  Cape 
Fair  kentry  befo'  de  wah.  Long  time  befo'  de 
wah  it  'peahs  to  me  lack  dat  mule  been  old 
enough  to  die  long  ago,  an'  I  say  to  Mahs'  Mc- 
Keevuh  : 

" '  Mahs'  INIcKeevuh,'  I  say,  '  waffo'  dat  dah 
mule  livin'  ? ' 

"  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  cock  he  eye  down  at 
me  an'  he  grin  an'  he  say  : 

"  '  Dat  dah  mule  livin','  he  say,  '  'kaze  he  cain't 
he'p  heseff !  Ask  yo'  mammy  'bout  dat  dah 
mule,'  he  say,  and  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  grin 
pow'ful. 

"  Den  I  done  ask  my  ol'  mammy,  an'  w'at  yo' 
tink?  I  fin'  out  dat  de  mule  kim  to  de  Cape 
Fair  kentry  'long  wiv  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fad- 
duh's  gran'fadduh,  suh  !  An'  I  fine  out  dat  ef  it 
doan'  be  fo'  de  man  w'at  fust  own  dat  mule  den 
Mah's  McKeevuh's  fadduh's  gran'fadduh  an' 
gran'mudduh  dey  done  bean  livin'  to  dis  hyuh 
day,  suh,  an'  dat  wand'n'  mule  o'  mine  it  done  bean 
daid  dis  hyuh  hund'd  an'  fifty  yeahs  or  mo' ! 


The  Jug  of  Live-Forever  Water.    133 

"  Maybe  yo'  mowt  heah  befo'  dis,  suh,  'bout 
folks  dat  bean  hiintin',  yeahs  an'  yeahs  an'  yeahs 
ago,  to  fine  a  spring  'way  down  in  Flah'dy  some- 
whah,  an'  dat  spring  it  boun'  to  meek  'em  live 
fo'evuh  ef  dey  des'  git  a  sup  o'  de  wahtuh  outen 
it,  but  dey  nevuh  kin  fin'  it,  an'  de  Injins  done 
kill  all  of  'em  w'at  doan'  die  wiv  de  chills  an' 
fevuh  ?  ;Maybe  yo'  mowt  heah  o'  dat  befo' 
dis,  suh  ?" 

The  Northern  man  said  he  had  heard  of  the 
search  for  such  a  fabled  fountain  of  youth. 

"  Huh  !  huh  !  Co'se  yo'  have  !  An'  I  bet  yo' 
ef  yo'  only  des'  tink  desp'rut  hahd,  suh,  yo'  kin 
'membuh  dat  yo'  done  see  dat  dah  wand'n'  mule 
somewhah  in  yo'  scrimmidgin'  !  Cain'  do  dat, 
huh  ?  Dat's  pow^'f ul  queeuh  !  Pow'f ul  queeuh, 
suh  !  I\Iahs'  ]McKeevuh's  fadduh's  gran'fadduh 
he  doan'  be  down  dah  in  Flah'dy,  huntin'  fo'  . 
dat  wun'ful  spring,  but  he  des'  down  dah  spyin' 
round  to  see  waffo'  kyine  o'  Ian'  duh  been  dah, 
'kaze  maybe  he  mowt  skittuh  'way  fum  de  Cape 
Fair  kentry  an'  go  down  dah  ef  de  Ian'  it  bean 
mo'  promisin'.  He  spyin'  an'  spyin'  roun',  an' 
one  day  a  monst'us  big  Injin  man  he  done  step 
outen  de  bresh  squah  in  front  o'  Mahs'  ]McKee- 
vuh's  fadduh's  gran'fadduh,  an'  de   ol'  man  he 


134     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

des'  natch'ly  mos'  skeeuht  nigh  to  deff.  But  de 
Injin  man  he  doan'  resh  on  Mahs'  McKeevuh's 
fadduh's  gran'fadduh,  an'  swosh  he  sca'p  off  he 
haid,  lack  de  ol'  man  done  reckon  he  gwan  to 
do,  but  he  stan'  up  straight  befo'  de  ol'  man, 
biff  heseff  two,  free  times  on  he  chis'  wiv  he 
han'  an' say : 

"  '  How  ol'  yo'  reckon  I  done  bean,  suh  ? ' 

"Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh's  gran'fadduh 
he  tink  he  see  a  chance  to  tickle  de  Injin  man, 
an'  he  say : 

" '  I  reckon  yo'  bean  quite  a  heap  shy  o'  fo'ty- 
two,  suh.' 

"  '  Puh  ! '  de  Injin  man  he  say.  *  I  bean  nine 
hund'd  an'  fo'ty-seven  yeahs  an'  free  months  ol', 
an'  I  ain'  hahdly  staht  in  to  live  yit ! '  he  say. 

"  Den  dat  minute  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh's 
gran'fadduh  he  know  w'at.  Dat  Injin  man  done 
diskivvuh  dat  wun'ful  spring  mos'  a  t'ousan 
yeahs  befo'  an'  sup  its  wahtuh,  an'  dah  he  bean, 
standin'  dah  old  as  Met'uslum,  suh  !  Jicketty  ! 
Des'  tink  o'  dat,  suh  !  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fad- 
duh's gran'fadduh  he  mos'  drap  froo  de  groun', 
an'  befo'  he  kin  say  anyt'ing  de  Injin  man  he 
say  : 

"  '  Yo'  got  a  wife,  I  reckon,  suh  ? ' 


The  Jug  of  Live- Forever  Water.    135 

"  De  oV  man  he  say  yes  ;  he  got  a  wife. 

"  '  Den  co'se  yo'  doan'  want  to  live  fo'evuh  !  * 
de  Injin  man  he  say,  an'  he  tu'n  to  skittuh  'way 
froo  de  bresh.  But  INIahs'  McKeevuh's  faddiih's 
gran'fadduh  he  holluh  to  de  Injin  man  to  stop, 
'kaze  he  done  'spec'  he  kin  cunjur  de  Injin  man 
to  show  him  dat  spring,  so  he  kin  sup  dat  wat- 
tuh  he  ownseff.     De  Injin  he  say : 

"  '  I  bean  nine  hund'd  an'  fo'ty-seven  yeahs 
an'  free  months  ol','  he  say,  *  an'  I  ain'  hahdiy 
staht  in  to  live  yit !  I  des'  pinin'  to  die  an'  I 
cain't,  'kaze  I  sup  frum  de  wun'ful  spring,  and  I 
done  live  fo'evuh.  Fo'  nine  hund'd  an'  fo'ty- 
seven  yeahs,'  he  say,  '1  bean  happy  as  de 
boundin'  fawn,  suh,  but  fo'  de  free  months  des' 
done  gone,  I  bean  mis'able  as  de  smoked  coon 
in  de  hollow  tree,  suh,  an'  I  pinin'  to  die !  Waf- 
fo'  I  pinin'  to  die  ?  'Kaze  free  months  ago  I 
done  teck  a  wife,  suh  !  I  shaiuh  my  wigwum 
wiv'  a  squaw,  an'  now  I  pinin'  to  die  !  Ef  I 
doan'  only  be  setch  a  ramificatin'  mutton  head,' 
de  Injin  man  say,  '  dat  I  done  go  an'  giv  dat 
squaw  o^  mine  a  sup  o'  de  fountain  o'  life  too, 
den  I  kin  stan'  it;  but  dah  she  bean,  suh  !  She 
drink  de  wahtuh,  an'  now  she  nevuh  kin  die, 
neiduh  !     I  pinin'  to  die,  but  I  cain't,  'less  I  teck 


136     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

an'  show  dat  spring's  hidin'  place.  Co'se  yo' 
doan'  want  to  know  dat,  suh,  'kaze  yo'  done  got 
a  wife  yo'seff,  an'  co'se  den  yo'  doan'  want  to 
live  fo'evuh ! '  de  Injin  man  he  say,  an'  he  look 
pow'ful  cast  down. 

"  '  Des'  yo'  pause  a  speck,  suh  ! '  Mahs'  IMc- 
Keevuh's  fadduh's  gran'fadduh,  he  say.  '  Ef 
yo'  pinin  to  die,  show  me  de  wun'ful  spring,  suh, 
an'  tu'n  up  yo'  toes  an'  die ! ' 

"  De  Injin  man  he  des'  cry  fo'  joy,  an'  he  kiss 
de  ol'  man's  han's.  Den  he  skittuh  'way  in  de 
bresh  an'  kim  back  wiv  a  big  jug.  He  say  to  de 
ol'  man  to  follow  him,  an'  de  ol'  man  follow  him. 
Bahmby  dey  kim  to  de  place  whah  de  wun'ful 
spring  it  lie  hid,  an'  de  Injin  man  he  p'int  it  out 
to  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh's  gran'fadduh. 

"  '  He'p  yo'seff  !  '  de  Injin  man  he  say,  '  an'  I 
t'ousan'  times  'bliged  to  yo',  suh  ! '  he  say. 

"Den  he  give  a  quivuh,  an'  den  he  give  a 
quavuh.  Den  he  shivuh  lack  a  tree  des'  gwan  to 
fall.  Den  he  tumble  to  de  groun',  an'  dah  he  lie 
daid,  suh,  wiv  a  smile  on  he  face  lack  he  nevuh 
kin  be  so  happy  ef  he  des'  kim  in  from  teckin'  a 
heap  o'  sca'ps,  suh  !  Den  see  w'at  Mahs'  Mc- 
Keevuh's fadduh's  gran'fadduh  he  done  do ! 
He  ain'  gwan  to  be  seffish  'nough,  suh,  to  des' 


The  Jug  of  Live-Forever  Water.    137 

lie  dah  an'  sup  dat  live-fo'evuh  wahtuh  all  by  he 
ownseff,  an'  he  des'  natch'ly  fill  dejugwivit, 
co'k  it  up,  an'  staht  fo'  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  to 
shaiuh  dat  wahtuh  wiv  he  folks,  so  dey  kin  all 
live  fo'evuh,  suh ! 

"  Attuh  while  de  ol'  man  he  git  to  de  Cape 
Fair  kentry  wiv  he  jug  o'  live-fo'evuh  wahtuh. 
He  been  monst'us  tahd,  an'  he  lie  down  in  de 
shade  to  res'  heseff,  an'  he  done  drap  soun' 
asleep.  Bahmby  long  kim  a  man  ridin'  a  mule 
wiv  a  big  swuUin'  on  he  jaw,  an'  a  tail  w'at  been 
rub  off  so  nigh  to  he  hams  dat  it  look  des'  lack 
a  nickel's  wuff  o'  twis'  plug  tobacco,  an'  wiv  a 
string  halt  in  he  off  hind  laig.  De  man  on  de 
mule  he  'skivvuh  de  man  w'at  soun'  asleep  in  de 
shade,  wiv  de  jug  by  he  side. 

'"'Peahs  lack  dat  dah  jug  bean  mighty  spi- 
cious-lookinV  de  man  on  de  mule  he  say.  '  I 
bet  yo*  duh  bean  co'n  juice  in  dat  dah  jug  ! '  an' 
de  man  he  stop  he  mule  an'  crip  off  he  back  sly 
as  a  fox,  an'  snick  up  an'  lif  dat  jug. 

"  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh's  gran'fadduh  he 
doan'  week  up,  but  he  scrudgel  a  mite,  lack  he 
feel  suffin'  ain'  des'  right.  De  man  he  done  snip 
de  co'k  outen  de  jug  an'  sniff  it.  Dat  doan'  des' 
'peah  lack  it  gwan  to  he'p  him  on  he  junny  wiv 


138     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

a  heap  of  joy,  an'  he  tase  o'  de  jug.  He  sput 
out  w'at  he  teck  in  he  mouf,  an'  he  look  skeeuht. 

"  '  Jicketty  ! '  he  say.  '  It  bean  wahtuh,  an'  I 
mos'  swallow  some  !  I  reckon  I  bettuh  wathuh  de 
ol'  mule  wiv  it,'  he  say,  '  'kaze  he  bean  dryuh  'n  a 
powduh  ho'n ! ' 

"  He  teck  off  de  ol'  wahtuh'n  bucket  w'at  jag- 
gle  fum  de  mule's  sussingle,  an'  he  tu'n  all  dat 
live-fo'evuh  wahtuh  outen  de  jug  into  de  bucket, 
an'  dah  dat  mule  des'  lay  to  an'  swig  it,  suh,  to 
de  las'  drap  !  Ain'  dat  monst'us  ?  Did  yo'  evuh 
heah  any  mo'tal  t'ing  lack  dat,  suh  ? " 

The  Northern  man  never  had. 

"  But  des'  den  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  fadduh's 
gran'fadduh  done  week  up.  He  'skivvuh  he  jug 
gone.  Den  he  'skivvuh  de  man  an'  de  mule  an' 
de  wathuh  bucket.  Den  he  know'd  w'at,  an'  he 
rise  up.  Jicketty,  how  dat  ol'  man  did  rise  up  ! 
An'  he  smite  de  man  w'at  own  de  mule  hip  an' 
thigh,  suh,  till  de  man  he  resli  away  an^  disap- 
peah,  holdin'  he  haid  lack  de  pain  in  it  bean 
monst'us.  But  w'at  good  dat  gwan  to  do  Mahs' 
McKeevuh's  fadduh's  gran'fadduh  >  De  live- 
fo'evuh  wathuh  bean  all  gone,  an'  he  nevuh  kin 
git  it  back.  But  he  a  wun'ful  man,  suh.  Mighty 
Gabr'el !  w'at  a  wun'ful  man  he  bean  ! 


The  Jug  of  Live-Forever  Water.     139 

"  '  Nevuh  mind  ! '  he  say.  *  Ef  we  done  drenk 
dat  wahtuh,  co'se  den  we  woan'  nevuh  git  to 
heaven,  an'  dat  woan'  do  !  An'  ef  dat  man  doan' 
feed  it  to  he  mule,  den  I  woan'  have  no  mule, 
an'  I  have  to  walk  home  'sted  o'  ridin',  lack  I 
done  gwan  to  do  now  !  '  he  say. 

"  An'  he  mount  the  scruffy  ol'  mule  an'  ride  de 
res'  o'  de  way  home,  whah  dey  all  bean  desp'rut 
glad  to  see  him.  An'  dah  bean  de  mule  !  Co'se, 
he  got  de  chahm  o'  dat  wun'ful  Flah'dy  spring 
in  him,  an'  he  des'  keep  on  livin'.  Mahs'  Mc- 
Keevuh's  fadduh's  gran'fadduh  an'  gran'mudduh 
dey  pass  to  de  kingdom,  but  dat  mule  he  des' 
keep  on  livin'.  'Peahs  lack  he  doan'  keeuh  'bout 
doin'  it,  but  he  cain't  he'p  heseff.  De  wah  it  kim 
along  an'  Mahs'  IMcKeevuh  he  go  fo'  a  sojuh, 
an'  he  teck  de  nevuh  dyin'  mule  wiv  him.  He 
kim  back  w'en  de  wah  bean  done,  but  de  mule 
he  doan'  come  along. 

"  '  De  Yankees  dey  done  smuggle  him  'way 
fum  us,'  Mahs'  McKeevuh  say,  an'  massuh  he 
grin  pow'ful,  'kaze  I  reckon  he  doan'  keeuh. 

''  So  dat  mule  he  des'  wand'in'  an'  wand'in' 
somewhah,  sho'ly ;  an'  I  des'  weesh  yo'  only 
bean  down  yon  in  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  befo'  de 
wah,  suh,  'kaze  den  yo'  kin  heah  Mahs'  McKee- 


140    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

vuh  tell  yo'  'bout  it,  right  fum  de  staht,  suh. 
But  it  bean  mighty  queeuh  yo'  ain'  nevuh  see  dat 
evuh-livin'  mule  somewhah  in  yo'  scrimmidgin' 
'bout  de  kentry,    suh  !     Mighty  queeuh  1 " 


SAVED  BY  THE  MAN  IN  THE 

MOON. 


SAVED  BY  THE  MAN  IN  THE  MOON. 


He  Was  a  Forgetful  Man,  More  Forgetful  Yet 
than  Uncle  Camp  who  Cooked  the  'Possum,  or 
He  Would  Not  Have  Been  Chased  up  the  North 
Pole  by  the  Hungry  Polar  Bear,  So  Mahs'  Mc- 
Keever  Told  the  Black  Homer's  Old  Mammy. 

^Peahs  lack  duh  bean  a  right  smaht  snack  c 
folks  dese  hyuh  days  w'at  doan'  b'lieve  duh  bean 
setch  a  t'ing  as  a  man  in  de  moon.  W'at  yo' 
done  reckon  'bout  dat,  suh  ?  Yo'  doan'  b'lieve 
it  neiduh  ?  Den  I  done  'spec',  too,  dat  mebbe 
yo'  doubt  dat  a  man  evuh  did  climb  de  No'th 
Pole,  suh  ?  So  yo'  does,  huh  ?  Not  even  ef  de 
man  bean  chase  lack  ol'  hickory  by  a  monst'us 
big  poluh  bah,  suh  ?  Sho  !  Den  yo'  hain'  nevuh 
bean  down  in  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  befo'  de  wah, 
sahtin  enough,  suh  !  Lack  as  not  duh  doan' 
bean  no  man  in  de  moon  no  mo'  now,  'kaze  de 
wah  done  meek  mighty  changes  wiv  folks.     But 

143 


144    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

befo'  de  wah,  suh,  duh  mus'  bean  a  man  in  de 
moon,  sho'ly,  an'  duh  mus'  bean  a  man  dim'  de 
No'th  Pole,  suh,  'kaze  ol'  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he 
know  de  man  w'at  done  do  it,  an'  dat  man  done 
sheck  han's  wiv  de  man  in  de  moon,  suh,  'kaze 
Mahs'  McKeevuh  say  de  man  done  tell  him  so ! 
Duh,  suh  !  How  yo'  gwan  to  git  roun'  dat,  I 
des  lack  to  heah  yo'  tell  me  !  Huh,  huh,  honey  ! 
How  yo'  gwan  to  git  roun'  dat,  suh  ?  Yo'  ain' 
gwan  to  try?  Huh,  huh!  Dat  a  heap  de 
easiest  way,  suh  !  A  heap  de  easiest !  'Kaze 
yo'  des'  boun'  to  tiah  yo'seif  to  death  ef  yo' 
evuh  do  try  to  git  'roun'  dat,  suh.  Mahs' 
McKeevuh  know  de  man  w'at  dim'  de  No'th 
Pole,  an'  de  man  dat  sheck  han's  wiv  de 
man  in  de  moon,  an'  done  tell  INIahs'  McKee- 
vuh so.  I  wesh  yo'  been  down  in  de  Cape  Fair 
kentry  befo'  de  wah,  suh.  Den  yo'  done  heah 
ail  about  it  while  it  fraish.  One  night,  time  I 
ain'  been  no  bigguh'n  a  tucky  buzzud,  I  settin' 
on  my  ol'  mammy's  lap  watchin'  de  moon  scoot- 
in'  'long  in  de  sky  lack  it  mighty  skeeuht  o'  suf- 
fin'  w'at  chasin'  it,  an'  mammy  des'  been  tellin' 
me  'bout  de  man  in  de  moon  eatin'  cabbage  wiv 
a  spoon,  w'en  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  kirn 'long  dah 
by  the  cabin. 


Saved  by  the  Man  in  the  Moon.     145 

"  Rosybell,"  he  say  to  my  mammy,  "how 
yo'  lack  to  sheck  han's  wiv  de  man  in  de 
moon  ? " 

Mammy  she  shedduh  so  she  mos'  shedduh  me 
off  huh  lap,  an'  she  holluh  :  "Mighty  Gabr'el, 
Mahs'  jMcKeevuh !  Dat  des'  natch'ly  'mos' 
skeeuh  me  cold  !  Yo'  spec'  I  want  to  be  whushed 
away  and  rolled  along  up  dah  'mongst  de  clouds 
wiv  dat  ol'  man  in  de  moon  ?  Sho  !  I  s'prised  at 
yo',  suh  !  " 

Den  ]Mahs'  IMcKeevuh  he  snickuh  an'  snickuh, 
an'  say  to  my  ol'  mammy  : 

"  Oh,  de  man  in  de  moon,  he  doan'  be  setch 

a  scarifyin'   creatuh.     I   know  a  man    one  time 

w'at  tell  me  he  done  sheck  han's  wiv  him,  an' 

dat  man  ain'  rollin'  'long    up  dah   in  de  clouds 

wiv  him.      No,  suh  !     'Peahs  lack  dis  hyuh  man 

he  live  way  up  No'th,  an',  so  he  done  tell    me, 

he  meek  up  his   mind  one  day  dat  he   t'ink  he 

bettuh  go  'skivuh  de  No'th  Pole.      Heap  o'  folks 

dey  bean   skittuh'n  'roun'   tryin'    to   'skivuh  de 

No'th  Pole,   an'  dey  cain't   fine  it,  but  dis  hyuh 

man  he  feel  sahtin  he  kin  'skivuh  it,  an'  so  he 

done  staht  out.     But  he  bean  pow'ful  fo'gitful, 

dis  hyuh  man  bean.     Pow'ful  fo'gitful  !    I  reckon, 

fum  w'at  he  done  tell  me,  dis  hyuh  man  mus' 
10 


146     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

bean  de  fo'gitfulles'  creatuh  w'at  evuh  breave  de 
breff  o'  life  !  " 

Den  my  ol'  mammy  she  say  :  "  T'ink  he  kin 
be  as  fo'gitful  as  ol'  Uncle  Camp  bean,  suh  ?  " 

Den  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  snickuh  an'  snote 
an'  holluh,  an'  mammy  she  snickuh  an'  snote  an' 
holluh,  an'  I  snickuh  an'  snote  an'  holluh,  'kaze 
I  know  about  ol'  Uncle  Camp,  even  ef  I  doan' 
bean  no  bigguh'n  a  tuckey  buzzud.  Co'se  yo' 
done  heah  'bout  ol'  Uncle  Camp  long  'fo'  dis 
time,  suh?  No?  Sho  !  Dat  pow'ful  queeuh  !  De 
whole  kentry  bean  knowin'  'bout  ol'  Uncle  Camp 
mos'  evuh  sence  it  bean  knowin'  'bout  anyt'ing. 
Befo'  de  wah  Uncle  Camp  bean  de  pow'fules' 
'possum  huntuh  of  all  de  'possum  huntuhs  'long 
de  ol'  Cape  Fair,  an'  he  monst'us  fond  o'  'possum 
meat.  Um-m-m — um  !  how  fond  dat  man  bean  o' 
'possum  !  He  nevuh  t'ink  nuffin'  o'  clah'n  de 
meat  offen  de  bones  o'  de  fattes'  'possum  w'at 
evuh  dim  a  gum  tree,  all  alone  by  heseff,  an' 
den  pitchin'  in  an'  clah'n  'nudduh  one  des'  as 
big  an'  fat.  One  day  Uncle  Camp  he  go  out  in 
de  swamp  to  cotch  a  possum,  fo'  he  gittin' 
mighty  'possum  hongry.  'Peahs  lack  'possum  dey 
mighty  skeeus  dat  day,  an'  Uncle  Camp  he  tromp 
an'  tromp  long,  long   time  'fo'  he  shin  one  up  a 


Saved  by  the  Man  in  the  Moon.     147 

tree.  He  cotch  him  an'  fotch  him  home.  Uncle 
Camp  he  monst'us  tiah'd,  but  he  clean  dat  'pos- 
sum an'  salt  an'  peppuh  him  down  in  de  pot  to 
cook  him,  'kaze  he  too  hongry  to  fix  him  fo'  to 
bake  wiv  sweet  'tatuhs.  Den  Uncle  Camp  he  lie 
down  on  de  flo'  wiv  he  feet  toads  de  fiah,  an' 
zip  !  he  done  gone  to  sleep  so  quick  he  di'n 
know  it,  an'  sno'  an'  sno'  an'  sno',  des'  lack  a  ol' 
bah  growlin'.  Uncle  Camp  he  sleep  mighty 
tight,  an'  he  doan'  do  heah  dat  boy  Jum  o'  his'n 
snick  in  de  cabin.  Jum  he  done  have  de  devil 
in  him  bigguh'n  a  fambly  o'  tame  coons.  He  sot 
down  and  waitch  de  'possum  simmuh  in  de  pot, 
an'  sniff  de  smell  of  it  till  he  mos'  go  crazy. 
Uncle  Camp  he  done  keep  sleepin'  'way  lack  a 
run-out  houn',  an'  de  'possum  he  done  keep 
a-cookin',  an'  Jum  he  done  keep  sniffin'  an' 
winchin'  heseff  roun'  on  he  cheeuh  lack  he  nigh 
bustin'  tryin'  to  hoi'  heseff.  Bahmby  Jum  he 
t'ink  dat  'possum  smell  lack  it  bean  ready  fo'  to 
chaw,  an'  he  cain'  hoi'  heseff  no  mo',  an'  des' 
natch'ly  teck  iC  outen  de  pot. 

"  Po'  ol'  daddy  he  mighty  tiah'd,"  Jum  he  say 
to  heseff.  "  Nappin'  it  bean  pow'ful  sight  bettuh 
fo'  him  dan  'possum.  I  des'  let  him  have  all  de 
nap  he  want  an'  put  away  de  'possum  my  ownseff." 


148    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

So  dat  Satan  boy  Jum  he  sot  to,  an'  fust  t'ing 
he  know  duh  ain'  nuffin'  o'  dat  'possum  lef,  suh, 
but  a  heap  o'  bones.  De  meat  an'  de  fat  it  all 
bean  stow  away  'neaf  Jum's  sussingle.  Jum  he 
look  at  de  heap  o'  bones  an'  den  he  look  at  he 
po'  ol'  fadduh  nappin'  an'  sno'tin'  on  de  flo'. 
Den  de  ol'  Satan  in  Jum  it  done  teck  to  wuckin', 
an'  Jum  he  grin  lack  he  ain'  nevuh  bean  so  tickle 
sence  he  bo'n.  He  snatch  up  all  de  bones  o' 
dat  'possum  an'  stack  'em  in  a  heap  nigh  he 
daddy.  Den  he  teck  an'  daub  Uncle  Camp's 
nose  an'  chops  an'  whiskuhs  all  ovuh  wiv  'possum 
grease  an'  snick  outen  de  cabin. 

Uncle  Camp  he  done  git  rested  out  bahmby, 
an'  week  up.  De  cabin  bean  chock  full  o'  de 
smell  o'  'possiim  yit,  an'  Uncle  Camp  he  'gin  to 
grin  an'  smack  he  lips.  He  rise  up  an'  teck  de 
kivvuh  off  de  pot  an*  peek  in.  Den  his  jaw  it 
drap  lack  a  pump  handle.  He  rub  he  eyes  an' 
look  in  de  pot  ag'in.  Nuffin'  in  dah  but  de 
smell ! 

*'  Mighty  Gabr'el !  "  he  holluh.  "  De  'possum 
done  gone ! " 

Des'  den  Uncle  Camp  he  drap  he  eyes  to  de 
flo'  an'  he  see  de  heap  o'  bones  polished  up  des' 
de  way  he  done  polish  'possum  bones.     He  ope 


Saved  by  the  Man  in  the  IMoon.     149 

he  eyes  big  as  onions.  Den  he  rub  he  han'  on 
he  chops  an'  feel  de  'possum  grease,  an'  he  'skiv- 
uh  it  on  he  nose  an'  in  he  whiskuhs.  Den  Uncle 
Camp  he  breck  out  in  a  grin  dat  wrinkle  he 
brack  neck  from  he  chin  to  he  wool,  an'  meek 
de  'possum  fat  glisten  mo'  an'  mo'.  He  rub  he 
ban's  up  an'  down  on  he  paunch,  an'  smack  he 
lips  an'  roll  he  eyes  an'  grin  widuh'n  evuh. 

"  Um-m-m — um  !  "  he  grunt.  "Um-m-m — 
um  !  'Fo'  de  Lo'd  !  "  he  hoUuh.  "  I  done  fo'git 
I  eat  dat  'possum  !  " 

Dat  boy  Jum  he  bean  pickin'  froo  de  crack  in 
de  do'  an'  listenin'.  When  he  see  an'  heah  how 
pow'ful  fo'gitful  he  ol'  daddy  bean,  he  des' 
waddle  out  to  de  co'nfield  an'  roll  an'  holluh. 
Den  he  skrimmidge  ovuh  an'  tell  my  ol'  mammy 
w'at  he  done  do,  an'  she  have  to  roll  an'  holluh 
so  huh  ownseff  dat  she  cain't  chide  dat  Satan 
boy,  suh,  to  save  huhseff.  I\Iy  ol'  mammy  she 
tell  Mahs'  McKeevuh,  an'  he  roll  an'  holluh — 
an'  dat's  de  Uncle  Camp  my  ol'  mammy  bean 
p'intin'  at  dat  evenin'  w^'en  Mahs'  McKeevuh 
tellin'  'bout  de  man  w'at  sheck  ban's  wiv  de  man 
in  de  moon  bein'  so  monst'us  fo'gitful,  an'  meek 
Mahs'  McKeevuh  holluh  an'  snote.  Funny  yo' 
nevuh    did   heah    'bout    him,    suh !     Dis    hyuh 


i5o    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown.    ' 

kentry  done  heah  'bout  Uncle  Camp  sence  long 
befo'  de  wah,  suh. 

*'Yes,  suh,  Rosybell,"  JNIahs'  McKeevuh  say 
to  my  ol'  mammy,  attuh  he  done  squelch  he  hol- 
luh'n  an'  sno'tin'.  "  Dis  hyuh  man  w'at  tell  me 
he  sheck  ban's  wiv  de  man  in  de  moon  he  pow'- 
ful  sight  mo'  fo'gitfuller  dan  Uncle  Camp  yit. 
Dis  hyuh  man  he  t'ink  he  mus'  go  an'  'skivuh  de 
No'th  Pole.  He  tromp  an'  he  tromp  up  froo  de 
snow  an'  de  ice,  froo  de  snow  an'  de  ice,  till  he 
'gin  to  git  pow'ful  col'  an'  hungry,  an'  nighuh 
an'  nighuh  to  whah  de  moon  it  done  rise,  "way 
up  dah  in  de  No'th.  He  git  nighuh  an'  nighuh 
to  de  place,  till  he  tromp  so  nigh  he  kin  'mos' 
ritch  up  an'  tetch  de  moon  whah  it  done  git  up 
an'  sail  down  dis  hyuh  way,  to  shine  an'  shine  on 
de  lan's  he  done  lef  behin'  him.  He  keep  he  eye 
peeled  fo'  de  man  in  de  moon,  'kaze  he  know 
about  him  eatin'  cabbage  dah  wiv  a  spoon,  an' 
he  t'ink  mebbe  he  kin  holluh  to  him  to  des'  frow 
him  out  a  spoonful  o'  dat  dah  cabbage,  he  bean 
so  monst'us  hongry.  But  dis  hyuh  man,  so  he 
done  tell  me,  he  doan'  see  nuffin  o'  de  man  in 
de  moon,  but  bahmby  he  tromp  so  nigh  dat  he 
declah  he  kin  smell  dat  dah  cabbage ! 

"  Bahmby  one  day  he  see  suffin'  risin'  up  ag'in 


Saved  by  the  Man  in  the  Moon.     151 

de  sky,  outen  a  mountain  o'  ice,  an'  it  'peah  des' 
lack  a  big  dead  pine  standin'  dah. 

"  '  Jicketty  ! '  he  holluh.  *  Dat  bean  de  No'th 
Pole,  sho's  I  bo'n,  an'  I  done  'skivuh  it  ! ' 

*'  Dis  hyuh  meek  de  man  feel  pow'ful  tickled, 
'kaze  now  he  know  dat  bahmby  he  soon  git  dah, 
an'  he  des'  chuckle  to  heseff  how  he  done  gwan 
to  heat  heseff  up  choppin'  dat  No'th  Pole  down 
w'en  he  git  to  it.  He  tromp  on  froo  de  snow 
an'  de  ice,  an'  he  ain'  no  mo'  dan  half  a  milefum 
de  No'th  Pole  w'en  he  happen  to  t'ink  about 
suffin'. 

"  '  Mighty  Gabr'el ! '  he  holluh.  '  I  cain't  chop 
dat  No'th  Pole  down,  'kaze  I  done  fo'git  to  fotch 
my  ax !  " 

"Dat  dah  man,  Rosybell,"  Mahs'  McKeevuh 
he  say  to  my  ol'  mammy,  "  he  done  bean  de 
fo'gitfulles'  creatuh  w'at  evuh  breave  de  breff  o' 
life !  " 

"  He  des'  natch'ly  a  bombatious  fool,  dat  w'at 
he  bean  !  "  my  ol'  mammy  she  say.  "But  waifo' 
he  want  to  git  dat  No'th  Pole,  anyhow  ?" 

"  Dunno  !  "  I\Iahs'  McKeevuh  he  say.  "  He 
des'  tell  me  dis  hyuh,  dat's  all.  I  di'n  ask  him 
waffo  he  want  de  No'th  Pole.  Dat  doan'  bean 
none  o'  my  business,  Rosybell.      But  he   tromp 


152    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

an'  tromp  on  froo  de  snow  an'  froo  de  ice,  an' 
bahmby  he  heah  a  noise  behin'  him.  He  squinch 
roun'  to  see  w'at  meek  dat  noise,  an'  sho  !  w'at 
yo'  tink  he  done  see  skrimmidgin'  attuh  him  ?  A 
monst'us  big  polah  bah  !  Dat  dah  doan'  skeeiih 
de  man,  'kaze  he  a  mighty  huntuh,  an'  he  know- 
he  kin  kill  dat  polah  bah  wiv  one  shot,  but  des' 
dat  minute  suffin'  pop  in  he  mind. 

"  '  Mighty  Gabr'el !  '  he  holluh.  *  I  cain't  kill 
dat  polah  bah,  'kaze  I  done  fo'git  to  fotch  my 
gun! ' 

"  Rosybell,"  IMahs'  McKeevuh  say  to  my  ol' 
mammy,  "  was  duh  evuh  setch  a  fo'gitful  creatuh 
bo'n  on  erf  as  dat  dah  man  ? 

"  Mahs'  McKeevuh,''  my  ol'  mammy  she  say, 
"  ef  I  only  des'  have  dat  dah  man  hyuh  dis  min- 
ute, I  done  joggle  him  till  he  wish  he  kin  fo'git 
he  evuh  had  teef  in  he  haid  !  Dat's  w'at  I  done 
do  wiv  him,  suh  ?  " 

"Co'se,"  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  say,  "de  man 
he  doan'  want  to  stan'  dah  an'  be  gobbled  by  dat 
polah  bah,  so  'way  he  skrimmidge,  fas'  as  he 
laigs  kin  tote  him,  straight  as  he  kin  p'int  fo'  dat 
No'th  Pole.  He  p'intin'  to  ritch  de  pole  an'  shin 
up  to  de  top.  He  done  ritch  de  pole,  an'  up  he 
go.     He  ritch  de   top  an'  des'  'gin   to  chuckle 


Saved  by  the  Man  in  the  Moon.     153 

an'  chuckle,  w'en  he  look  down,  an'  jicketty 
dah  dat  monst'us  polah  bah  shinnin'  upde  No'th 
Pole  attuh  him  !  Sho's  yo'  bo'n,  Rosybell," 
Mahs'  jMcKeevuh  he  say  to  my  ol'  mammy,  "  ef 
suffin'  doan'  happen  des'  de  nex' minute,  dat  dah 
man  he  nevuh  would  tol'  me  dis  hyuh  in  diswide 
wul' !  Nevuh  I  An'  w'at  yo'  spec'  done  hap- 
pen ? 

"  De  polah  bah  des'  gwan  to  gobble  de  man, 
so  he  tell  me,  w'en,  wush  !  up  rise  de  moon  an' 
mos' bresh  dat  dah  man  in  de  face  wiv  itseff ! 
An'  dah  bean  de  man  in  de  moon,  ritchin'  he  han' 
out  to  dat  man  on  de  top  o'  de  No'th  Pole.  De 
man  on  de  pole  co'se  he  tink  de  man  in  demoon 
des'  feelin'  sorry  fo'  him,  an'  ritchin'  he  han'  out 
to  sheck  ban's  wiv  him  good-by.  So  dis  hyuh 
man  he  ritch  he  own  han'  out  an'  grab  de  man  in 
de  moon's  han'  an'  began  sheckin'  it  an'  holluh'n 
'  Good-by  ! '  when  he  feel  heseff  snatch  offen  dat 
pole  lack  he  bean  a  'simmon  winched  off  a  tree 
by  a  'possum,  an'  de  nex'  minute  he  swushin' 
away  'long  wiv  de  man  in  de  moon,  wiv  de  polah 
bah  scroochin'  on  top  0^  de  No'th  Pole,  gnashin* 
his  teef  an'  sloshin'  splintuhs  outen  de  pole  lack 
lightnin'  bean  playin'  wiv  it  !  Dat  man  he  so 
pow'ful  fo'gitful,  Rosybell,"  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he 


1 54    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

say  to  my  ol'  mammy,  *'dat  he  nevuh  did  t'ink 
to  tell  me  whah  de  man  in  de  moon  done  sot  him 
down  ag'in,  but  dat's  de  way  he  sheck  han's  wiv 
him,  so  he  done  tell  me." 

Dis  hyuh  was  befo'  de  wah,  suh,  an'  so  duh 
mus'  bean  a  man  in  de  moon  den,  suh,  or  how 
kin  dat  man  sheck  han's  wiv  him,  de  way  Mahs' 
McKeevuh  say  dat  man  done  tell  him  he  did, 
suh  ?     Dunno  ?     Cose  yo'  doan' ! 


OXE-EYE  PETE  NEAFFIE'S 
PARROT. 


ONE-EYE  PETE  NEAFFIE'S  PARROT. 


A  Bird  of  Sturdy  Spirit  and  Great  Flow  of  Lan- 
guage, and  How  its  Change  of  Heart,  as  the 
Black  Homer  Alleges,  Made  its  Strenuous 
Owner  Pious. 

One  time,  des'  'bout  de  time  de  wah  done 
bean  on  its  las'  laigs,  One-Eye  Pete  Neaffie  he 
kirn  scrimmagin'  into  Mahs'  McKeevuh's,an' he 
say  : 

*'  Whah  Gunnel  McKeevuh  ?  " 

Somebody  show  him  whah  mahsuh  bean,  an' 
Pete  he  say : 

"  Gunnel  McKeevuh,  I  done  do  muhduh,  suh ! 
I'se  a  'sassinatuh,  Gunnel,  an'  duh  ain'  nuffin'  to 
do  but  des'  teck  me  out  an'  hang  me,  suh  ! " 

Jicketty  !  Dat  des'  meek  all  de  eyes  on  dat 
plahntation  beige  out  lack  dey  bean  de  butt  end 
o'  hen's  aigs,  suh,  an'  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  say: 

"  Wa' — wa' — w^a'  yo'  mean,  Petuh  ?  Who  yo' 
done  kill  ? " 

157 


158     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  I  done  kill  Nicodemus,  suh  !  "  One-Eye  Pete 
he  say.  "  Dat's  who  I  done  kill,  an'  yo'  des'  tell 
'em  to  teck  me  out  an'  hang  me  !  " 

Den  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  git  ovuh  de  flummix 
Pete  done  frow  him  in  when  he  say  he  bean 
doin'  muhduh,  an'  'gin  to  grin,  an'  de  eyes  on 
dat  plahntation  dey  quit  belgin',  'kaze  we  all 
know  who  Nicodemus  bean,  but  Pete  he  stick 
to  it  dat  he  a  'sassinatuh,  an'  declah  he  mus'  be 
hung. 

"I  done  bean  de  deff  o'  Nicodemus  !  "  he  de- 
clah. "  If  dat  ain'  muhduh,  den  I  reckon  duh 
ain'  no  setch  a  t'ing  as  muhduh  !  " 

Co'se,  Nicodemus  bein'  a — but  I  reckon  I 
bettuh  tell  yo'  'bout  dat,  suh.  One-Eye  Pete 
Neaffie  he  bean  des'  about  de  streakiest  man 
w'at  evuh  live  'long  de  Cape  Fair.  Jicketty ! 
w'at  streaks  dat  man  do  take  !  Ef  Mahs'  McKee- 
vuh evuh  t'ink  o'  doin'  t'ings  One-Eye  Pete 
Neaffie  do,  folks  dey  done  sot  him  down  as  ravin' 
crazy.  But  dey  doan'  t'ink  Pete  bean  crazy. 
Des'  streaky,  dat's  all.  Streakiest  kyine,  suh. 
Long  time  'fo'  de  wah  Pete  he  run  a  sloop  on  de 
Cape  Fair,  an'  meek  money.  He  own  nigguhs, 
an'  he  own  a  little  plahntation.  One  time  one  o' 
he  nigguhs  he  done  skin  out  in  de  night  time  an' 


One-Eye  Pete  Neaffie's  Parrot.     159 

doan'  come  back  no  mo'.  Dat  nigguh  he  leave 
a  wife,  an'  she  b'long  to  Pete,  too.  Two,  free 
days  attuh  de  nigguh  run  away  Pete  he  say  to 
dat  nigguh's  wife  : 

"  Suse,  whah  dat  wuffless  nigguh  o'  yo'n  ?  " 

"  I  reckon  he  done  scrimmage  up  No'th,  Mahs' 
Neaffie,"  Suse  she  say. 

"  Yo'  know  whah  he  bean  } " 

"  Yes,  I  know  whah  he  bean,"  Suse  she  say. 

"  Den  yo'  des'  pick  up  yo'  bundle  an'  go  dah, 
too !  "  One-Eye  Pete  say,  an'  Suse  she  have  to  go. 

Dat  de  kyine  o'  streaky  man  One-Eye  Pete 
Neaffie  bean,  an'  when  folks  dey  joggle  him  fo* 
settin'  one  nigguh  free  'kaze  'nudduh  one  run 
away,  he  brestle  up  an'  say  : 

"  Nobody  doan'  'bleege  me  to  set  my  nigguhs 
free,"  he  say.  "  But  look-a  hyuh  !  Duh's  a  time 
comin'  when  all  yo'  own  nigguhs  dey  done  bean 
sot  free,  an'  yo'  won't  have  nuffin'  to  say  about 
it,  neiduh  ! " 

Dat  dah  bean  monst'us  hot  sayin'  fo'  de  Cape 
Fair  plahntations  des'  'bout  dat  time,  an'  if  Mahs' 
McKeevuh  done  say  it  folks  dey  say  he  crazy, 
sho's  yo'  bo'n.  But  One-Eye  Pete — "  he  des' 
streaky,  dat's  all ;  des'  streaky,"  dey  say. 

Des'  a  little  time  'fo'  de  wah  kim  along  Pete ; 


i6o     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

he  go  'way  wiv  he  sloop,  an'  he  git  'way  down  to 
Cha'lston,  whah  he  tie  up,  an'  one  day  he  bean 
gwan  'long  de  street  an'  he  heah  some  un  hol- 
luh: 

''Damn  fool!" 

Pete  he  stop  quick  an'  tu'n  roun',  but  he  di'n 
see  who  dat  kin  be  what  holluh.  He  staht  on, 
w'en  dat  same  holluh  kim  ag'in.  Pete  he  stop, 
an'  den  he  see  an  ol'  wooman  wlv  a  parrot,  an' 
de  parrot  holluh  : 

"Damn  fool!" 

"  Jicketty  !  "  he  say.  "  Dat  parrot  he  know 
me,  sho'  enough,  but  I  swah  I  nevuh  know 
him  !  " 

Den  de  parrot  it  begin  to  swah  an'  swah  at 
Pete  till  Pete  he  des'  mighty  neah  laugh  heseff  to 
deff,  an*  he  buy  dat  parrot  an'  fotch  him  home. 
Pete  so  tickle  wiv  him  dat  he  doan'  do  nuffin' 
but  visit  wiv  him  all  de  time. 

"  Ise  gwan  to  quit  boatin',"  Pete  he  say.  "  Me 
an'  Nicodemus  hain'  got  no  time  fo'  boatin',"  he 
say. 

"An'  he  quit  boatin',  sho's  yo'  bo'n,  suh,  an' 
des'  put  all  his  time  in  wiv  dat  parrot.  Den  de 
wah  it  begin  to  push  along,  an'  One-Eye  Pete 
he  say : 


One-Eye  Pete  Neaffie's  Parrot.     i6i 

"  Dah's  gwan  to  be  hell  to  pay  'roun  hyuh  'fo' 
long,  an'  me  an'  Nicodemus  is  gwan  to  teck  to  de 
woods ! " 

And  wa't  yo'  tink  ?  He  done  sell  he  plahnta- 
tion  an'  he  nigguhs,  an'  scrimmage  'way  up  in 
de  wildes'  kentry  he  kin  fine,  an'  Nicodemus  go 
'long  wiv  him.  Jicketty  !  Wat  a  streaky  man 
dat  One-Eye  Pete  Neaffie  done  bean  !  Um-m-m- 
um  !  but  he  bean  streaky  ! 

Pete  an'    Nicodemus    dey  done  go  'way    up 

dah  an'  rise  a  cabin  in  de   woods.     Duh  bean 

heaps  o'  game  up  dah — oodles  of  it  ;  wile  tucky, 

bah,    deeuh,    'possum,    coon,    wile  ducks,  wile 

geeses,  dey  all  des  natch'ly  bean  plenty  as  gum 

berries.     An'  de  t'ings  Nicodemus  done  git  de 

hang  of  in  dem  woods  !     De  wile  tucky  cain't 

meek  he  own  call  nigh  so  natch'l  as  Nicodemus 

kin,  an'  de  way  he  quack  like  a  duck,  an'  cackle 

like  a  geese,  an*  blat  like   a  fawn — why,  it  des' 

monst'us  !     All  One-Eye  Pete  he  have  to  do  bean 

to  des'  teck  he  gun  an'  go   out  in  de  woods  an' 

hide   heseff,    ef  he   pinin'  fo'   tucky    or   deeuh. 

Nicodemus  he  des'  set  on  a  limb   an  holluh  'em 

in,  an'  Pete  he  pick  out  de  ones  he  keeuh  fo'  an' 

knock   'em  ovuh.     Ef  Pete  he  pinin'  fo'  geese 

an'  duck,  den  he  des'  hide  by  de  creeks,  an'  Nico- 
II 


1 62     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

demus  be  meek  depo'  fowls  t'ink,  when  deybean 
flyin'  ovuh,  dat  dull  bean  flocks  an'  flocks  o' 
geese  an'  ducks  feedin'  on  de  fat  o'  de  Ian' 
down  dah,  de  way  he  kin  cackle  an'  quack,  so 
dey  wheel  an'  drop  down  in  dat  creek  to  see 
w'at  all  dem  fowls  done  fine  dah  so  pow'ful 
good.  Den  Pete  he  whang  'em,  an'  Nicodemus 
he  laugh  an  holluh  lack  he  des'  tickle  to  deff  de 
way  he  fool  dem  geese  an'  ducks.  But  ef  Pete 
he  evuh  miss  a  tucky  w'en  Nicodemus  call  it 
up  to  de  gun,  um-m-m-um  !  How  dat  parrot 
done  cut  loose  wiv  he  tongue  at  Pete  !  Swah  ? 
Why,  jicketty  !  Pete  he  cain't  help  gittin' 
mighty  skeeuht  many  time  w'en  Nicodemus 
bean  cuttin'  loose  dat-a-way,  an'  he  say  he  des' 
natch'ly  set  down  an'  wait  fo'  de  showuh  o' 
fiah  an'  brimstone  he  feel  mighty  sahtin  mus' 
sho'ly  tumble  on  him  fo'  dat  parrot's  mon- 
st'us  weekedness  !  An'  Nicodemus  he  done 
swush  at  Pete,  an'  yank  he  haih  out,  an'  swab- 
ble  he  face,  an'  joggle  him  desp'rit.  Pete  he  des' 
lay  low  an'  teck  it  all  till  Nicodemus  git  froo. 
'Kaze  he  say  any  man  w'at  cain't  hit  a  tucky 
w'en  it  done  been  fotch  to  he  gun,  des'  ought  to 
be  joggled  till  he  cain't  see. 

Des'  see  w'at  a  monst'us  crittuh  dat  Nicodemus 


One-Eyed  Pete  Xeaffie's  Parrot.    163 

done  bean,  suh.  Wen  One-Eye  Pete  teck  down 
he  gun  to  go  in  de  woods  attuh  game  dat  parrot 
he  des'  cock  he  eye  up  an'  say : 

"  Tuckv,  Pete  ?  " 

Mebbe  Pete  he  say  no.  Den  Nicodemus  he 
say : 

''Duck?" 

Mebbe  Pete  he  say  no  ag'in.  Den  Nicodemus 
say  : 

"  Geese  ?  " 

Ef  Pete  he  say  no,  den  Nicodemus  say : 

"  Deeuh  .? " 

Den  ef  Pete  sav  no,  Nicodemus  he  scrumble 
heseff  an'  swah,  an'  holluh  : 

"  Bah  !     Damn  bah  !  " 

'Kaze  Nicodemus  he  doan'  keeuh  fo'  bah 
huntin',  fo'  he  cain't  call  bah  ;  but  he  always  go 
'long  des'  to  swah  at  Pete.  One  time  Pete  done 
chase  a  bah  all  day  long,  an'  he  cain't  git  nigh 
him.  Nicodemus  he  swah  an'  swah  an'  swah, 
an'  tell  Pete  he  bean  so  many  monst'us  t'ings 
dat  bahmby  Peth  he  git  skeeuht,  an'  t'ink  sho'ly 
dat  ol'  Satan  done  gobble  him  fo'  he  git  outen 
dem  woods.  Den  de  bah  scootle  into  a  swamp 
so  deep  dat  Pete  he  des'  nach'ly  give  up,  an' 
say  he  gwan  home.     Den  yo'  ottuh  heah  Nice- 


164     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

demus  !  He  shy  setch  monst'us  talk  at  Pete  dat 
Pete's  haiuh  rise  up,  an'  he  p'int  he  gun  at 
Nicodemus  an'  declah  dat  if  dat  parrot  doan' 
shet  he  mouf  he  git  de  bullet  w'at  bean  in  dat 
gun  fo'  de  bah.  Do  yo'  t'ink  Nicodemus  shet  he 
mouf  ?  No,  suh  !  He  des'  swush  at  One-Eye 
Pete  an'  swa-a-a-t  him — um-m-m-m  !  how  he  do 
swat  dat  man  !  Den  he  holluh  dat  he  gwan  to 
git  dat  bah  he  ownseff,  an'  away  he  swushes  in 
de  swamp.  Bahmby  Pete  he  heah  mos'  onright- 
eous  goin's  on  in  dah.  Nicodemus  a  yellin'  an' 
swah'n  an'  callin'  names  wussuh  dan  he  evuh  do 
befo',  an'  de  bah  a  howlin'  an'  scrummagin'  an' 
gnashin'  he  teef. 

**  I  declah,"  Pete  he  say,  *'  ef  it  doan'  peah 
lack  dat  fowl  o'  de  aiuh  des'  natch'ly  done  gone 
an'  gobble  dat  wile  beas'  o'  de  wilduhness,  sho's 
I  bo'n  !  " 

Den  Pete  he  heah  de  bah  comin'  outen  de 
swamp,  swishy-swashy !  crishy-crashy !  He 
comin' squah  right  dah  whah  Pete  bean  standin', 
an'  Pete  know  dat  parrot  bean  fotchin'  him  out, 
'kaze  he  heah  Nicodemus  swah'n  dat  he  is.  Pete 
he  doan'  feah  dat  bah,  but  he  pow'ful  distressed 
ovuh  de  talk  Nicodemus  bean  shyin'  at  de  bah, 
an'  he  know  ef   he  doan'    kill  dat  bah  w'en  it 


One-Eye  Pete  Neaffie's  Parrot.     165 

scrumble  outen  dat  swamp  he  mowt  des'  well 
jump  in  de  creek  an'  drownd  heseff.  De  bah 
pop  out,  an'  Pete  cotch  it  wiv  he  rifle  ball,  an' 
down  it  go  an'  doan'  git  up  no  mo'.  An'  des' 
ahind  de  ol'  bah  kim  two  teeny  cubs,  wiv  Nico- 
demus  jogglin'  'em  desp'rit.  Wen  Nicodemus 
see  de  ol'  bah  layin'  dah  daid,  he  cool  down  an' 
roost  on  de  bah's  cahcuss.  But  w'en  he  fine  dat 
Pete  he  gwan  to  teck  dem  two  cubs  to  de  cabin, 
Nicodemus  he  swush  Pete  all  de  way  home,  an' 
call  him  monst'us  t'ings  squah  in  his  face.  But 
Pete  he  boun'  to  have  dem  cubs,  an'  he  des'  let 
Nicodemus  swah. 

Pete  he  done  git  pow'ful  fond  o'  dem  dah  cubs, 
an'  Nicodemus  he  git  pow'ful  jealous  of  'em,  an' 
make  up  he  mind  about  'em.  Pete  he  keep  de 
cubs  in  de  cabin,  an'  one  night  he  week  up  and 
heah  Nicodemus  swah'n  lack  a  pirate,  an'  de  cubs 
whinin'  lack  dey  ain'  easy  in  dey  mine.  Pete  he 
lay  low,  an'  bahmby  he  heah  de  cabin  do'  push 
open,  an'  de  moonshine  it  pop  in,  an'  den  he  see 
dat  it  bean  Nicodemus  push  de  do'  open.  Pete 
he  keep  layin'  low,  an'  wonduh  w'at  dat  onright- 
eous  parrot  gwan  do.  An'  wat-a  yo'  tink  he 
done  do,  suh  ?  He  des'  natch'ly  drive  dem  cubs 
outen  dat  cabin,  peckin'  'em  wiv  he   hook  bill, 


1 66     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

an'  swah'n  !  Jicketty  !  How  he  been  swah'n  ! 
An'  he  run  dem  po'  little  bahs  'way  off  in  de 
woods,  an'  dey  know  dey  bettuh  nevuh  come 
back  dah  agin,  suh.  Den  Nicodemus  he  kim 
back  to  de  cabin,  an'  he  chuckle  an'  chuckle,  an' 
git  up  on  Pete's  bunk  an'  holluh  in  he  eauh  : 

"Damn  fool  !  " 

Den  Nicodemus  chuckle  some  mo'  an'  go  to 
sleep.  Dis  hyah  tickle  Pete  so  pow'ful  dat  he 
tink  mo'  o'  dat  weeked  parrot  dan  he  evuh  tink 
he  kin.  Nex'  day  Pete  he  boun'  to  tease  Nico- 
demus, an'  he  took  down  he  gun. 

"  Tucky,  Pete  ?  "  Nicodemus  he  say. 

"  No,"  Pete  he  say.     "  Bah." 

Nicodemus  he  swah  he  woan'  go  attuh  bah, 
but  Pete  he  declah  dat  he  go  attuh  bah  or  he 
doan'  go  attuh  nuffin,  so  Nicodemus  he  git  up 
an'  go,  but  he  mighty  gruffy  'bout  it,  an'  w'en 
Pete  he  stop  to  look  fo'  bah  signs,  Nicodemus  he 
move  on,  lack  he  doan'  keeuh  fo'  nuffin.  He  ain' 
go  but  little  ways,  w'en  Pete  heah  a  swush,  an' 
den  Nicodemus  37ellin'  an'  swah'n.  Pete  he  look 
dat  a-way,  an'  des'  tu'n  col'  as  ice.  A  big  hawk 
it  done  swup  down  an'  gobble  Nicodemus,  an' 
'way  it  go  wiv  him,  an'  Pete  doan'  see  him  no 
mo'.     Den  Pete  he  des'  lop  down  an'  tah  he  haih, 


One-Eye  Pete  Neaffie's  Parrot.     167 

"  I  bean  de  deff  o'  Nicodemus  !  "  he  holluh. 
"  I  done  do  muhduh,  an'  I  des'  go  an  let  'em 
hang  me. " 

Duh  nevuh  bean  setch  a  streaky  man  as  dat 
One-Eye  Pete  Neaffie.     Nevuh  in  the  wul',  suh. 

Dat  bean  de  time  w'en  Pete  he  kim  in  to  Mahs' 
McKeevuh's  plahntation,  down  yon  'long  de  Cape 
Fair,  an'  tell  mahsuh  he  done  do  muhduh,  an' 
he  mus'  hang.  So  w'en  Alahs'  McKeevuh  he  fine 
who  it  bean  dat  Pete  done  muhduh,  he  say  : 

"  Dey  wantin'  sojuh  men  pow'ful  bad  up  yon 
in  V'ginny,  Pete,"  he  say.  "  Dis  hyuh  wah  lookin' 
ferocious.  Dem  Yanks  dey  pushin'  de  knife 
'way  up  to  de  helt,  an'  we  des'  achin'  fo'  sojuh 
men.  Bes'  t'ing  yo'  kin  do,  Petuh,'  mahsuh 
say,  "  'been  to  go  up  dah  an  jine  de  ahmy.  Yo' 
git  killed,  des  lack  as  not,  an'  dat  mighty  sight 
bettuh'n  hangin." 

Pete  he  t'ink  dat  bean  des'  'bout  de  t'ing,  too, 
an'  'way  he  go  to  jine  de  ahmy,  dat  man  bean  so 
pow'ful  streaky  !  He  jine  de  ahmy,  an'  he  fight 
and  fight  and  fight.  He  fight  mo'n  six  months 
'fo'  he  git  a  scratch,  an'  den  a  Yankee  bullet  clip 
him,  an'  dey  tote  him  in  to  die.  Dey  tote  him 
to  a  big  tent  whah  duh  bean  heaps  mo'  sojuh 
men  wiv  Yankee  bullets  in  'em,  an'  dey  des' 


i68     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

layin'  Pete  on  he  cot,  w'en  he  heah  some  un 
holluh : 

"  Halleluyuh,  Petuh  !  Let  us  pray  !  " 
Pete  he  ope  he  one  eye  an'  look  up  skeeuht 
wiv  it,  an'  dah,  on  a  stool  in  the  tent,  who  yo' 
done  spec'  he  see  ?  Nicodemus  !  Yes,  suh  ! 
Big  as  life,  suh,  an'  solemn  as  a  unduhtakuh  ! 
Pete  he  des'  shet  dat  eye  o'  his'n  ag'in  an'  done 
faint  daid  away,  he  des'  dat  streaky ! 

How  Nicodemus  done  git  dah  ?  Dat  bean  so 
sing'luh,  suh,  dat  I  doan^  spec'  yo'  gwan  to 
b'lieve  it.  Des'  on  udduh  side  dem  woods  whah 
de  hawk  snatch  Nicodemus  up  dat  day  an'  tote 
him  off  cussin'  an'  swah'n  top  o'  he  lungs,  bean 
de  Craigie  plahntation.  De  Craigie  folks  dey 
bean  de  piouses'  folks  in  all  dat  kentry,  an'  Mahs' 
Craigie  he  done  preach  many  times,  heah  an' 
dah.  Hawks  bean  totin'  away  de  Craigie  chick- 
ens, des'  de  same,  an'  Mahs'  Craigie  bean  layin' 
fo'  hawks  wiv  he  gun,  des'  w'en  de  hawk  w'at 
gobble  Nicodemus  kim  floatin'  ovuh  dat  a-way. 
He  up  pow'ful  high,  but  ]\Iahs'  Craigie  he  bean 
a  desp'rit  man  wiv  a  rifle,  an'  he  sen'  a  bullet  up 
to  meet  dat  hawk,  an'  the  bullet  done  meet  it, 
sho'ly.  De  hawk  kim  tumblin'  down,  an'  drap 
daid  in  a  co'n  shock.     Wen  Mahs'  Craigie  go  to 


One-Eye  Pete  Neaffie's  Parrot.     169 

pick  de  hawk  up  he  mighty  sot  back  to  see  a 
parrot  shet  in  its  claws.  Dat  bean  Nicodemus. 
Co'se  Mahs'  Craigie  doan'  know  dat.  He  t'ink 
de  parrot  bean  daid,  an'  he  teck  it  to  de  house. 
De  fambly  dey  all  lookin'  at  it,  w'en  bahmby  Nico- 
demus he  'gin  to  kick.  Den  dey  know  he  ain' 
daid,  an'  dey  wait.  Bahmby  Nicodemus  he  ope 
he  eyes  an'  look  roun'  dah.  Den  he  rise  up  an' 
teck  a  bettuh  look.  Den  he  'gin  to  give  his  'pin- 
ion o'  t'ings.  Nicodemus  he  ain'  hahdly  staht 
in  yit,  w'en  dat  fambly  'gin  to  scattuh,  an'  dey 
ain'  nobody  lef  wiv  Nicodemus  but  j\Iahs'  Crai- 
gie, an'  he  have  he  finguhs  stuff  'way  in  he 
eauhs,  an'  he  eyes  dey  belgin'.  Bahmby  Nico- 
demus he  quit.  Mahs'  Craigie's  fambly  dey  de- 
clah  dat  he  mus'  teck  de  parrot  out  in  de  woods 
an'  shoot  it,  but  he  say  no.  But  he  done  tote 
Nicodemus  up  to  a  cabin  he  have  in  de  woods, 
an'  dah  he  labuh  an'  rassle  wiv  dat  onrighteous 
fowl  weeks  an'  weeks,  day  in  an'  day  out,  p'intin' 
out  to  Nicodemus  de  evil  of  his  ways.  An' 
w'at  yo'  spec'  done  happen  ?  Bahmby  one  day 
Mahs'  Craigie  he  kim  in  an'  Nicodemus  bean 
wiv  him.  De  fambly  dey  staht  to  quit  de  house 
as  fas'  as  dey  laigs  kin  tote  'em,  but  Nicodemus 
he  hoUuh  : 


i7o     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  Hallyluyuh  !     Let  us  pray  !  " 

Den  de  fambly  kim  back.  Yes,  suh.  Mahs' 
Craigie  he  done  labuh  wiv  dat  weeked  Nicode- 
mus  till  he  tu'n  him  in  dc  straight  an'  narrow 
path,  suh,  an'  duh  ain'  bean  none  o'  dat  fambly 
no  mo'  piousuh  dan  Nicodemus !  An'  w'en 
Mahs'  Craigie  he  t'ink  he  mus'  go  an'  jine  de 
ahmy,  he  done  teck  Nicodemus  wiv  him,  an' 
Mahs'  Craigie  an'  him  dey  done  bean  in  dat  tent 
w'en  dey  tote  One-Eyed  Pete  Neaffie  in. 

Well,  suh,  Pete  he  doan'  die,  an'  he  mighty 
tickle  to  fine  dat  Nicodemus  ain'  daid,  but  he 
cain't  git  de  hang  o'  all  dat  piousness.  One  day 
Pete  he  feelin'  streaky,  an'  he  say  to  Nicode- 
mus : 

"We  gwan  out  attuh  bah  to-day." 

Nicodemus  he  shuffle  he  fedduhs  up  an'  glare 
he  eye,  an'  holluh  : 

"  Dam " 

But  he  done  cotch  heseff  right  dah,  an'  say  : 

"  Hallyluyuh,  Petuh  !     Let  us  pray  !  " 

Dat  des'  sot  Pete  to  t'inkin',  an'  he  t'ink  so 
hahd  an'  deep  ovuh  Nicodemus's  change  o'  haht 
dat  when  he  bean  ready  to  jine  de  ahmy  ag'in 
he  des'  as  pious  as  Nicodemus,  an'  \v'at  yo' 
spec'  Pete  done  do  ?     Attuh  de  wah  bean  done 


One-Eye  Pete  Neaffie's  Parrot.     171 

he  des'  natch'Iy  go  to  preachin',  and  de  Cape 
Fair  kentry  ain'  nevuh  see  setch  a  pow'ful 
preachuh  as  One-Eye  Pete  Neaffie,  befo'  no' 
sence  de  wah,  suh.  He  des'  dat  oncommon 
streaky ! 


SCORNFUL  SUE   AND  LEAN 
LUCLNDA. 


SCORNFUL  SUE  AND  LEAN  LU- 

CINDA. 


How  the  Screech  Owl  Charm  Tangled  the  Love 
Affairs  of  Poor  Juniper  Blue,  and  Sent  Him 
Forth  Pining  to  Meet  Some  Wild  and  Rapa- 
cious Bear. 

"  Yo'  bean  skrimmidgin'  'roun'  in  de  piny  woods 
a  heap,  suh,"  said  the  Black  Homer  one  day, 
"  and  I  spec'  yo'  done  see  Junipuh  Blue  befo'  dis 
time  ?  " 

The  Northerner  had  not  seen  Mr.  Blue  as  yet. 

"  Den  co'se  dey  done  tell  yo'  'bout  him,  suh  ?  " 
said  the  Black  Homer. 

They  had  not  told  the  Northerner  anything 
about  Juniper  Blue. 

"  Dat  mighty  queeuh  !  "  declared  the  Black 
Homer  of  Jimtown.  "  Dat  misfo'tunate  man 
bean   slumpin'  roun'  froo  de  woods    dis    hyuh 

long  time." 

175 


176     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

The  Northern  man,  seeing  nothing  surprising 
in  that,  said  nothing,  which  evidently  disturbed 
the  Black  Homer,  who,  after  a  long  pause,  said  : 

''  An'  waffo  yo'  'spec'  he  done  spen'  he  time 
doin   it,  suh  ?  " 

The  Northerner  was,  of  course,  unable  to  say. 

"  Dat  misfo'tunate  man,  suh,"  said  the  Black 
Homer,  "  he  slumpin'  roun'  froo  de  woods  dat 
a-way  des'  'kase  he  achin'  and  hopin'  an'  prayin' 
to  meet  a  wild  an'  rippinacious  bah  face  to  face. 
He  doan'  want  to  kill  dat  bah,  an'  he  doan'  want 
dat  bah  to  kill  him,  neiduh.  He  des'  hopin'  an' 
prayin'  to  meet  de  bah,  dat's  all.  Den  attuh 
dat  he  done  spec'  he  boun'  to  be  de  happies' 
man  duh  evuh  did  be  in  de  Cape  Fair  kentry, 
'tick'ly  kaze  den  he  kin  sheck  de  mud  o'  de 
Cape  Fair  kentry  off  he  heels  an'  skrimmidge 
'way  fum  dah.  Did  yo'  evuh  pine  an'  pine  wiv 
love,  suh,  till  yo'  mos'  tink  yo'  kin  des'  natch'ly 
lay  down  an'  die  wiv  it,  an'  de  gal  w'at  yo'  pine 
fo'  she  des'  doan'  keeuh  a  sniffle  fo'  yo',  but 
hankuh  attuh  'nudduh  man,  till  yo'  tink  yo'  boun' 
to  go  'way  an'  die  anyhow,  suh  .''  " 

The  Northerner  said  that  this  was  a  rather  del- 
icate subject  to  discuss,  and  he  preferred  to  re- 
main noncommittal  on  it. 


Scornful  Sue  and  Lean  Lucinda.   177 

''  Oh,    dat   bean    all   right  ! "  said    the    Black 

Homer.       "  It  doan'  meek  a  trifle  o'  diff  ence  to 

me,  suh  !     Only,  duh  bean  oodles  an'   oodles  o' 

folks    w'at    does    pine    and    pine    dat    a-way,    I 

reckon,  and  I  des'  tink   dat   ef  yo'  mowt  be  one 

o'  dem  folks  I  kin  tell  yo'  how  yo'  kin  meek  de 

gal  pine  fo'  yo'  ownseff,  suh,  an'  meek  d'  udduh 

man  feel   lack  he  boun'   to  go  'way  an'  des'  lay 

down    an'   die    he    ownseff.      Dat  bean  all,  suh. 

But  co'se   ef  you  ain'  pinin'  it   don't   make  no 

diff'ence   to    you,  suh.     But  it  made    a  pow'ful 

sight  o'  diff'ence  to  Junipuh,  an'  dat's  des'  why 

he  slump  roun'  froo  de  woods,  hopin'  an'  achin' 

and  prayin'  to  meet  dat  wild  and  rippinacious  bah. 

Junipuh   he  bean  drivin'  mules  fo'  de  ]\IcKeevuh 

folks  down  yon — ol'  ]\Iahs'  ]\IcKeevuh  folks,  only 

ol'  Mahs'   jNIcKeevuh  he  bean   daid   dese  hyuh 

yeahs  an'  yeahs.      Junipuh's  folks  dey  ain'  Cape 

Fair    kentry    folks.      Dey    live   ovuh  yon  in  de 

Drowndin'  Creek  kentry.       Junipuh  he  ain'  been 

wiv  the  iMcKeevuh  mules  a  desp'ut  while  'fo'  he 

'gin  to  pine  an'  pine  an'  pine  wiv  love.     An'  who 

yo'  spec'  he  done  pinin'  fo' .''     Susan  Ray,  who 

bean  a  gal  w^at  step  pow'ful  high,  suh,  'kaze  she 

de   waitin'    maid   fo'    young  Missy  McKeevuh. 

Susan  she  tu'n  huh  nose  up  at  Junipuh,  an'  dat 
12 


178     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

des'  meek  him  pine  an'  pine  all  de  mo'.  Mebbe 
she  woan'  tu'n  huh  nose  up  quite  so  high,  dough, 
ef  Sam  Shackpole  doan'  be  in  de  case. 

"  Sam  Shackpole,  he  been  groomin'  fo'  young 
Capt.  Gravely,  des'  de  nex'  place  to  IMcKee- 
vuhs',  an'  he  des'  as  spry  as  a  cricket,  an'  de 
bes'  cakewalkuh  in  de  hull  Cape  Fair  kentry. 
Wat  kin  Junipuh  Blue  'spec  he  kin  do  'gin  a  man 
lack  dat,  even  'ef  Susan  Ray  doan'  tu'n  up  huh 
nose  'kaze  she  a  waitin'  maid  an'  Junipuh  des'  a 
mule  drivuh  ?  'Peahs  lack  Junipuh  done  lose  he 
haid,  pinin'  'gin  a  man  who  kin  Cakewalk  bet- 
tuh'n  de  hull  Cape  Fair  kentry  ;  but  he  keep  on 
pinin',  and  Susan  she  keep  on  risin'  huh  nose  at 
him  an'  smilin'  on  Sam  Shackpole,  an'  goin' 
wiv  him  to  all  de  meetin's,  and  de  cakewalks, 
an'  de  swarry's  w'at  come  up  'long  de  Cape 
Fair. 

"  One  day  Junipuh  he  t'ink  he  lack  to  go  to  de 
Drowndin'  Creek  kentry  an'  see  he  folks,  an' 
so  he  do.  He  oV  Aunt  Mabel  she  ain'  skeecely 
sot  huh  eyes  on  him  'fo'  she  holluh  : 

"  *  Junipuh  Blue  !  waffo'  yo'  done  look  so  wan 
an'  waily  ? ' 

"  Junipuh  he  squimple  out :  '  Aunt  Mabel,  I 
done  spec'  I'se  pinin' ! 


-'  I  > 


Scornful  Sue  and  Lean  Lucinda.   179 

"  '  Pinin' !  '*  Aunt  Mabel  she  holluh.  '  Waffo' 
yo'  pinin,   chile  ?  ' 

"Den  Junipuh  he  squimple  out  ag'in  :  '  I'se 
pinin'  fo'  love  ! ' 

"'Love!'  Aunt  Mabel  she  holluh.  'An'  I 
spec'  Is'e  pinin'  too  !  I'se  pinin'  to  swat  yo', 
Junipuh  Blue  !  Ise  pinin'  to  swat  yo'  mighty 
hahd  !  Ef  yo'  pinin'  fo'  love  waffo  yo'  doan' 
git  it  ? ' 

"  Den  Junipuh  he  done  tell  he  Aunt  oMabel  all 
about  his  pinin',  and  who  he  pinin'  fo',  an'  how 
she  des  tu'n  huh  nose  up  at  him,  an'  smile  on 
'nudduh  man.  Attuh  Junipuh  tell  he  Aunt 
Mabel  dat,  she  des'  glarify  at  him  till  Junipuh  he 
mos'  sah'tin  she  done  gwan  to  swat  him  attuh  all. 
But  she  doan'  do  it.  She  des' glarify  at  him,  an' 
bahmby  she  say  : 

" '  'Peahs  lack  dat  when  folks  sets  deyseffs 
down  ovuh  dah  in  dat  Cape  Fair  kentry  dey  des' 
doan'  know  nuffin  no  mo' !  Junipuh  Blue,  yo' 
bean  de  foolest  nigguh  I  know  !  Hyuh  yo' 
pinin'  an'"  pinin',  an'  de  gal  she  done  sco'n  yo', 
when,  ef  yo'  know  enough  to  git  back  dah,  yo' 
kin  put  de  shoe  on  d'  udduh  foot,  yo'  wan  an' 
waily  man  ! ' 

"Den  Junipuh  he  trimble  an'  speck  lack  he 


i8o     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

done  have  de  aguh,  an'  holluh  :  *  Wat  in  de 
wide  wul'  yo'  mean,  Aunt  Mabel  ? ' 

"  *  Go  back  to  yo'  Cape  Fair  kentry  ! '  Aunt 
Mabel  she  holluh.  'Git  yo'  a  screech  owl's 
gizzuhd  !  Bake  it  an'  powduh  it  fine  !  Trickle 
a  pinch  o'  dat  powduh  in  de  gal's  victuals  or 
drink !  Den  she's  boun'  to  do  de  pinin'  huh 
own  seff,  an'  de  shoe  be  on  d'  udduh  foot !  Go 
back  an'  git  yo'  a  screech  owl's  gizzuhd,  yo'  fool 
nigguh,  an'  win  yo'  gal  an'  cease  yo'  pinin' ! 

"  Junipuh  Blue,  he  cain't  hahdly  stop  to  t'ank 
he  Aunt  INIabel,  he  so  pow'ful  tickled,  and  'way 
he  done  scrimmidge  back  to  de  Cape  Fair  ken- 
try.  An'  he  put  in  all  de  time  he  kin  get  lookin' 
fo'  dat  screech  owl.  He  hunt  de  swamps,  an' 
he  slump  froo  de  woods,  but  he  cain't  fine  no 
screech  owl.  One  time  he  t'ink  he  see  one  in 
a  holluh  tree,  an'  he  'gin  to  jolly  an'  hug  heseff, 
but  dat  doan'  be  no  screech  owl.  It  bean  a 
wilecat,  an'  it  joggle  Junipuh  so  monst'us  'fo'  he 
kin  git  away  fum  dah  dat  he  leave  a  heap  o'  he 
wool  an'  he  skin  in  de  woods.  An'  all  de  w'ile 
he  huntin'  fo'  dat  screech  owl  Junipuh  he  pine 
an'  pine  mo'n  evuh,  an'  Susan  she  rise  huh  nose 
highuh  an'  highuh,  an'  smile  on  Sam  sweetuh  an' 
sweetuh. 


Scornful  Sue  and  Lean  Lucinda.   i8i 

"  '  Dis  hyuh  bean  monst'us  hahd  to  beah  !  ' 
Junipuh  he  do  declah.  '  Ef  I  doan'  git  dat 
screech  owl  'fo'  many  days,  I  des'  natch'ly  go  off 
an'  die  in  the  wilduhness  !  '  he  declah. 

"  But  bahmby  he  get  dat  screech  owl !  He 
fine  it  hidin'  in  de  swamp,  and  he  knock  it 
ovuh,  an'  hug  it  all  de  way  home,  he  so  fond  of 
it,  'kase  now  he  donegwan  to  cease  he  pinin',  fo' 
Susan  boun'  to  be  his'n.  He  teck  de  owl's 
gizzhud,  an'  he  bake  it,  an'  he  powduh  it  fine, 
an'  he  wait  he  chance,  gloatin'  'kase  he  cain't  help 
I'inkin'  how  s'prise  Sam  Shackpole  gwan  to  be 
when  he  done  see  dat  Susan  doan'  rise  huh  nose 
no  mo'  at  Junipuh,  but  des'  smiles  de  sweetes' 
kyine  on  him.  Den  de  chance  it  kim  along. 
De  brudduhn  an'  sistuhn  done  git  up  a  cake- 
walk  fo'  to  rise  money  to  pay  de  Elduh's  wages, 
an'  co'se  Sam  he  boun'  to  be  dah,  an'  co'se  he 
gwan  to  teck  Susan.  Junipuh  be  gloatin'  mo' 
and  mo',  and  he  say  to  Sam  : 

"  '  I  spec'  yo'  gwan  to  teck  Susan  ? ' 

"  '  Co'se  !  '  Sam  he  say. 

"  '  Joy  yo'seff  wiv  her  ? '  Junipuh  say.  '  Joy 
yo'seff,  Sam,  'kase  I  reckon  dis  hyuh  gwan  to 
be  yo'  las'  time  !  Susan  she  boun'  to  go  wiv 
me    attuh    dis    hyuh  time.      She  gwan  to  smile 


1 82     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

on  me  from  dis  huyh  on  !  '  Junipuh  he  say 
gloatin'. 

"  Sam  he  'mos'  roll  an'  holluh  to  hear  Junipuh 
say  dat,  an'  when  he  tell  Susan  she  'mos'  roll  an' 
holluh,  too.  Sam  he  teck  Susan  to  de  cake 
walk,  and  dey  des'  feelin'  gay  when  Junipuh  he 
kim  along,  an'  dat  meek  'em  feel  all  de  gayer, 
'kase  he  so  tickle  ovuh  w'at  he  done  to  say  to 
Sam. 

"  *  Susan  an'  Sam,' Junipuh,  he  say,'  come  wiv 
me.     I'se  gwan  to  treat  yo'. 

"  Susan  an'  Sam  dey  glide  wiv  Junipuh  to  the 
lemonade  place,  an'  when  Junipuh  pass  Susan 
huh  glass  he  trickle  a  pinch  o'  de  powder  fum 
de  screech  owl's  gizzuhd  in  it,  sly  as  a  possum. 
But  he  ain'  sly  enough  fo'  Susan.  Susan  she 
teck  de  glass,  an'  des'  den  she  look  roun'  an' 
scream  : 

"  *  Oh,  my  !  Hyuh's  'Cindy  Chopup  !  Yo' 
mus'  treat  'Cindy,  too,  Junipuh  !  '  Susan  she 
scream. 

"  Fo'  a  cullud  lady,  I  done  'spec'  'Cindy  Chop- 
up  bean  de  skinniest  an'  de  leanest  creatuh  w'at 
yo'  evuh  sot  yo'  two  eyes  on,  suh  !  An'  she  have 
a  desp'ut  cockeye,  an'  huh  tempuh  bean  mon- 
st'us  sot  on  aidge,  suh.     When   Susan  'skivvuh 


Scornful  Sue  and  Lean  Lucinda.   183 

'Cindy  at  de  lemonade  place  an'  scream  to 
Junipuh  dat  he  mus'  treat  'Cindy,  too,  Junipuh 
he  say  c'ose  he  will.  'Cindy  she  scuffle  up,  an' 
Junipuh  he  tu'n  to  get  huh  a  glass,  too,  when 
Susan  she  holluh  : 

"'Yo'  des'  teck  dis  hyuh  glass,  'Cindy,  'kase 
I  see  it  done  been  too  pow'ful  sweet  fo'  me  ! ' 

"  An'  'fo'  Junipuh  he  kin  jump  an'  stop  huh, 
*Cindy  done  swump  de  hull  glass,  screech  owl 
gizzuhd  an'  all,  suh !  Den  Susan  she  t'ank 
Junipuh  de  sweetes'  kyine,  and  declah  she  done 
change  huh  mind  and  woan'  teck  any  lemonade 
dis  evenin'  !  An'  w'at  you  tink,  suh  ?  Junipuh 
he  resh  fum  de  place  an'  hide  in  de  IMcKeevuh 
haymow.  He  ain'  been  gone  ten  minutes,  suh, 
when  'Cindy  'gin  to  'qniah  an'  'quiah  whah  he 
kin  be,  an'  hunt  high  an'  low  fo'  him.  De 
screech  owl  gizzuhd  been  actin',  suh,  an'  'Cindy 
been  pinin'  fo'  Junipuh  !  An'  dat  night  Sam 
an'  Susan  dey  des'  go  to  de  Elduh's  an'  git 
married  ! 

"Well,  suh,  'Cindy  she  pine  an' pine  so  fo' 
Junipuh,  an'  tag  him  'roun'  so  an'  pestuh  him, 
dat  he  des'  pick  heseff  up  an'  skittuh  away  fum 
de  Cape  Fair  kentry,  pinin'  fo'  Susan  mo'n 
evuh,  an'  leavin'  'Cindy  pinin'  fo'  him  most  des- 


184     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

p'ut.  Nobody  didn't  know  whah  Junipuh  done 
gone  to,  an'  'Cindy  she  pine  an'  pine  an'  pine 
so  onceasin'  dat  she  teck  a  trip  to  de  Drowndin' 
Creek  kentry,  hopin'  she  might  git  track  o'  Juni- 
puh. I  doan'  'spec'  youevuh  did  know,  suh,  dat 
screech  owls  bean  monst'us  'feahd  of  bahs  ? " 

The  Northerner  had  never  known  that  screech 
owls  were  afraid  of  bears,  and  so  informed  the 
Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

*'  Monst'ous  'feahd,  suh  !  Screech  owls  bean 
monst'us  'feahd  o'  bahs.  'Peahs  lack  dat  dah 
feah  bean  bo'n  in  de  screech  owls.  So  my  ol' 
mammy  she  done  tell  me.  When  de  fuss' 
screech  owl  bean  made  an'  put  in  de  woods  it 
ain't  been  a  screech  owl  at  all,  'kaze  it  didn't 
have  no  voice  to  screech  wiv.  Dat  owl  bean 
silent  as  a  graveyahd,  and  de  fuss'  bah  w'at 
bean  made  an'  put  in  de  woods  he  doan'  lack 
dat.  One  day  dat  owl  bean  settin'  on  huh  aigs 
hatchin'  out  huh  fambly,  when  'long  kim  de  bah 
an'  rise  up,  whoosh  !  right  outen  de  bresh  in 
front  o'  de  owl,  an'  roah  an'  holluh  de  mos'  rip- 
pinacious  kyine.  Dat  po'  broodin'  owl  she 
bean  so  monst'us  skeeuht  she  des' fetch  a  screech 
outen  huhseff  dat  mos'  skeeuh  de  bah  he'seff. 
Dat  bean  des'  when  she  hatchin'  dem  aigs,  an' 


Scornful  Sue  and  Lean  Lucinda.   185 

when  de  owls  w'at  come  outen  dem  aigs  grow 
up,  w'at  yo'  tink,  suh  !  Dey  kin  screech  like 
wile  Injins,  an'  so  dey  bean  screech  owls  evuh 
since,  wiv  a  monst'us  feah  fo'  bahs,,  suh. 

"  'Peahs  dat  'fo'  Junipuh  Blue  he  skittuh  'way 
fum  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  he  write  to  he  Aunt 
Mabel  and  tell  huh  how  de  screech  owl's  giz- 
zuhd  done  bean  tu'n  ag'in  him,  so  w'en  'Cindy 
Chopup  she  'peah  in  de  Drowndin'  Creek  kentry 
to  'quiah  'bout  Junipuh,  Junipuh's  folks  dey 
know  all  de  fac's  in  de  case. 

'^ '  Whah  dat  fool  nigguh  gone  to  ? '  Aunt 
Mabel  she  holluh  when  'Cindy  'peah  dah  an' 
'quiah  'bout  Junipuh.  '  I  nevuh  kin  tell  yo'  'kaze 
I  doan'  know.'  'Peahs  lack  duh  ain' nobody  in 
de  Cape  Fair  kentry  w'at  knows  a  t'ing !  Why 
doan'  yo'  go  meet  a  bah  in  de  woods  ?  Ef  yo' 
des'  only  meet  a  bah  dat  bah  bean  sahtin  to 
skeeuh  dat  screech-owl  chahm  outen  yo'  so  quick 
yo'  t'ink  it  nevuh  bean  dah  !  Go  meet  a  bah  an' 
cease  yo'  pinin' ! '  Aunt  IMabel  she  holluh. 
'  But  I  hope  I  woan'  be  t'inkin'  'bout  yo'  w'en  yo' 
meet  de  bah,  fo'  den  de  pine  boun'  to  hit  me  !  If 
anybody  in  dis  hyuh  wide  wul'  bean  tinkin'  o'  yo' 
w'en  yo'  meet  dat  bah,  I  pity  dat  pusson  ! ' 
Aunt  Mabel  she  holluh. 


1 86     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

^'  Po'  'Cindy,  she  skittuh  'way  from  dah,  tink- 
in'  Junipuh's  folks  dey  been  pokin'  fun  at  huh, 
an'  doan'  know  whah  she  done  gwan  to,  an' 
pinin'  an'  pinin'.  Bahmby  she  slump  along  in  a 
big  woods,  an'  'fo'  she  know  it — whoosh !  rise  a 
wild  and  rippinacious  bah  outen  de  bush  !  'Cindy 
she  heah  one  pow'ful  screech  scoot  outen  huh, 
but  she  declah  dat  she  nevuh  did  meek  dat 
screech,  'kaze  she  tooskeeuht.  Debah  itskrim- 
midge  away,  an'  dah  'Cindy  she  'skivvuh  dat  huh 
pine  bean  gone ! 

"Junipuh  Blue,  when  he  skittuh 'way  from  de 
Cape  Fair  kentry,  nevuh  did  stop  till  he  git  'way 
down  in  de  Peedee  kentry.  One  day,  attuh  he 
git  dah  he  feah  dat  'Cindy  she  track  him  out  an- 
come  dah,  he  git  to  tinkin'  'bout  huh,  an'  he 
feel  mighty  sorry  fo'  huh,  but  he  mighty  glad 
he  'scape  huh.  Des'  w'ile  he  tinkin'  dat  a-way  ef 
a  pine  fo'  'Cindy  di'n  teck  him  !  an'  he  pine  an'  he 
pine  so  fo'  huh,  dat  he  skrimmidge  back  to  de 
Cape  Fair  kentry  to  git  huh.  He  foun'  huh,  but 
she  tu'n  up  huh  nose  an'  sco'n  him  !  Den  he  fine 
dat  des'  de  time  he  git  dat  pine  fo'  'Cindy  it  bean 
des'  de  time  when  de  bah  skeeuht  de  pine  fo' 
Junipuh  'way  from  'Cindy !  Now,  w'at  yo'  t'ink 
o'  dat,  suh  ?     Ain'   dat   scarrifyin'   mos'   beyon' 


Scornful  Sue  and  Lean  Lucinda.   187 

belief,  suh  ? "   said   the    Black    Homer   of  Jim- 
town. 

The  Northerner  had  to  admit  that  the  circum- 
stance tried  credulity  somewhat. 

"But/'  continued  the  Black  Homer,  "  Junipuh 
he  done  tell  me  so  heseff,  an'  ef  anybody  ottuh 
know,  it  bean  him,  'kaze  he  wuz  dah  !  Well,  suh, 
'Cindy  she  sco'n  an'  sco'n  Junipuh,  an'  tu'n  up 
huh  nose  at  him,  an'  treat  him  shameful.  But 
he  pine  an'  pine  fo'  huh,  an'  cain't  give  huh  up, 
an'  when  he  fine  she  boun'  to  be  cruel  to  him  to 
huh  dyin'  day,  he  des'  tu'n  to  an'  slump  froo  de 
woods,  hopin'  an'  prayin'  to  meet  a  wild  an'  rap- 
pinacious  bah  face  to  face,  so  it  kin  skeeuh  dat 
screech  owl  pine  'way  fum  him,  so  he  kin  sheck 
de  mud  o'  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  offen  he  heels 
an'  skrimmidge  'way  fum  dah  ! 

"It's  pow'ful  queeuh,  suh,  dat  yo'  ain't  see 
Junipuh  Blue  nowhah  in  yo'  slumpin'roun'  in  de 
woods,  or  dat  dey  doan'  tell  yo'  'bout  him  long 
fo'  dis.  Pow'ful  queeuh,  suh  !  "  concluded  the 
black  Homer ;  but  it  did  not  strike  the  Northern 
man  that  way. 


KING  BIP. 


KING  BIP. 


The  Tale  of  the  Proud  Slave  Who  Scorned  Serv- 
itude, to  the  Contempt  of  the  Black  Homer's 
Mammy,  and  ^Yho  Fled  to  Freedom  and  Met  a 
Fate  that  Made  Him  More  than  a  King. 

Long  time   "fo'  de  wab,  ol'  mahs'  he  have  to 

meek  a  trip  to  No'wleens,  an'  he  fetch  back  wiv 

'im  a  new  nigguh  w'at  he  done  buy  on  de  levy. 

Dat  new  nigguh   man    bean  de  blackest  I  evuh 

did    see,    suh.     He    a    lackly    young   buck,  but 

black !      Um-m-m — um  !    how    black  dat    man 

bean  !     'Peahs  to  me  ef  yo'  dab  tah  on  dat  nig- 

guh's  cheek  it  done  look  lack  a  white  mahk,  suh  ! 

Pow'ful  black,  he  wuz,  pow'ful  !     An'  de  eye  dat 

man  had  !     'Peahs  lack  it  bu'n  a  hole  clean  froo 

yo'  w'en  he  tu'n  dat  eye  squah  on  yo'  !     An'  he 

tote  he  haidmonst'us  high,  an'  stret  lack  he  t'ink 

duh  ain'  no  one  on  dat  plahntation  des'  as  good 

as  him.     But  he  been  kyine  to  all  us  dahkeys, 

191 


192  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

if  he  do  feel  lack  he  'way  'bove  us,  an'  he  wuck 
in  de  field  willin'  as  kin  be,  but  all  de  tahm  he 
act  des'  lack  he  done  bean  doin'  ol'  mahsuh 
mighty  big  favuh,  an'  des'  lack  mahsuh  ottuh  bean 
wuckin'  fo'  him,  'sted  o'  him  wuckin'fo' mahsuh. 
But  ol'  mahs'  he  teck  a  pow'ful  fancy  to  dis  hyuh 
new  nigguh,  an'  t'ink  he  de  bes'es'  one  he  got  on 
the  plahntation.  Dat  doan'  meek  no  diff'ence  to 
de  new  nigguh,  not  a  teeny  bit,  an'  he  done 
tote  he  haid  high,  an'  flash  he  eye,  an'  stret  des' 
de  same. 

Dis  hyuh  mighty  proud  man's  name  it  bean 
Bip,  an'  bahmby  I  done  git  tahdde  way  he  stride 
'roun'  lack  he  a  lion  in  a  cage  an'  we  bean  only 
des'  tomcats,  an'  I  say : 

"  Puh  !  Waffo'  yo'  swuU  up  so  pow'ful  big  ! 
Waffo'  yo'  done  tote  yo'  haid  so  high,  an'  stret 
lack  yo'  bean  a  Leftenant  in  de  Cha'Istown 
Blues  ?  Puh  !  Yo'  des'  only  a  common  nigguh, 
on  ol'  mahsuh's  plahntation  !     Dat's  all !  " 

Den  Bip  he  frow  up  he  haid  an'  fold  he  ahms 
'cross  he  ches'  an'  flash  he  eye  an'  say : 

"  I'se  wuckin'  on  dis  hyuh  plahntation  des' 
lack  de  res'  de  cattle,  dat's  so  !  "  he  sa3^  "  But 
I  ain'  got  no  right  to  be  doin'  it !  I  ain'  no  com- 
mon nigguh  !  I'se  a  kino;  i   I'se  a  king  !  " 


King  Bip.  193 

Den  Bip  he  done  poim'  he  ches'  wiv  he  fis', 
an'  frow  he  haid  highuh  an'  highuh,  an'  flash  he 
eye  till  I  quaviih  in  my  feet,  an'  mos'  seenk 
whah  I  Stan' !  I  heah,  many  times,  'bout  de 
King  o'  de  Cannibal  Islan's,  an'  I  t'ink  mebbe 
Bip  done  bean  dat  hongry  chap,  an'  gwan  to 
gobble  me  'kase  I  bean  so  peeuht  wiv  him,  an'  I 
spec'  he  see  I  mos'  skeeuht  to  deif  an'  feel  sorry 
fo'  me,  'kase  bahmby  he  come  off  he  high  hoss, 
an'  we  wuck  along  in  de  field  ag'in,  an'  he  done 
tol'  me  'bout  heseff. 

"Why!"  he  say.  ''I  'membuh  w'en  I  live 
wiv  my  fadduh  an'  my  mudduh,  'way  ovuh  in 
Aff'ky,  an'  dough  I  done  bean  des' a  piccaninny, 
5,  6  yeah  ol'  I  know  my  fadduh  an'  mudduh  dey 
bean  King  an'  Queen  o'  dat  kentry,  an'  rule  a 
mighty  heap  o'  folks.  ^Nly  fadduh  he  wo'  a 
monst'us  big  gol'  ring  in  he  nose,  an'  my  mudduh 
she  have  eahrings  big  roun'  as  a  teacup,  an'  brace- 
lets on  huh  ahms  an'  ankles.  'Peahs  to  me 
she  doan'  waiuh  a  pow'ful  sight  else  but  dem 
rings  an'  bracelets,  an'  my  fadduh's  gahments 
dey  mighty  skeeuhs,  but  nobody  doan'  come  nigh 
'em  'cep'  dey  bow  'way  down  to  de  groun'.  Dey 
pow'ful  mona'chs,  my  fadduh  an'  mudduh,  an' 
all  dat  kentry  an'  all  dem  heaps  o'  people  dey 
13 


194      The  Black  Homer  of  JImtown 

done  gwan  t'  be  mine,  'kase  I  de  prince  o'  dat 
house,  but  one  day  'nudduh  king  he  resh  on  us 
wiv  he  tribe  'fo'  we  done  spec'  he  nigh,  an' 
cotch  us  all  an'  tie  us  up,  an'  mahch  us,  mahch 
us,  mahch  us,  days  an'  days,  till  we  ritch  de  sea, 
an'  den  a  lot  o'  white  men  dey  teck  us  'way  in 
boats,  an'  I  nevuh  see  my  fadduh  no  mo'.  Dey 
frow  me  an'  my  mudduh  on  a  ship  wiv  heaps  an' 
heaps  mo'  cullud  folks,  an'  sail  us  cross  de  sea 
to  Cuby.  Dah  dey  put  my  mudduh,  de  queen, 
wuckin'  in  de  sugah  plahntation,  an'  I  live  in  de 
mahsuh's  house  till  I  grow  up,  an'  den  one  day, 
while  my  mudduh  bean  wuckin'  in  de  cane,  dey 
sell  me  to  go  to  dis  kentry,  an'  I  nevuh  did  see 
my  mudduh  no  mo'.  Dat  ten  yeahs  ago,  an'  I 
wuck  in  de  Loosyanna  sugah  fields  an'  on  de 
levies  till  yo'  ol'  mahs'  he  buy  me  an'  fotch  me 
heah.  Dat's  why  I  done  tote  my  haid  high  and 
stret.  I  ain'  no  common  nigguh  !  I'se  a  king  ! 
I'se  a  king !  I  show  yo'  some  day  wevvuh  I  got 
a  right  to  be  hyuh  !     I  show  yo' !  " 

Dat's  w'at  Bip  he  done  tol'  me,  suh,  an'  I  des' 
guess  I  di'n  go  an'  be  peeuht  wiv  him  no  mo '  I 
No,  suh  !  An'  I  tol'  my  ol'  mammy  'bout  Bip 
bein'  a  king,  an'  how  she  bettuh  be  keeuhful  how 
she  done  joggle  him,  an'  she  snickuh  an'  say  : 


King  Bip.  195 

"  Doan'  yo'  be  a  fool  nigguh,  chile  !  Dis  de 
Ian'  o'  de  free,  an'  kings  ain'  no  bettuh  hyuh  dan 
mule  drivuhs  is.  De  las'  king  w'at  try  to  hoi 
he  haid  up  an'  stret  in  dis  hyuh  kentrybean  dat 
ol'  king  w'at  send  de  Breetesh  ovuh  hyuh  to  run 
t'ings,  an'  w'atyo'  ol' mahsuh's  fadduh  done  he'p 
sen'  back  ag'in  wiv  a  flea  in  dey  eahs.  Sho  ! 
Dis  hyuh  Bip  bettuh  be  keeuhful  wiv  he  high 
haid  an'  he  stret,  or  fus^  t'ing  he  know  mahs'  he 
lay  de  black  snake  on  'im  !  Doan'  yo'  be  fool 
nigguh,  chile  !  Dis  de  Ian'  o' freedom,  an'  mahs' 
he  done  whup  de  gizzuhd  oat'n  dat  big-feelin' 
fiel'  han'  Bip  ef  he  doan'  quit  t'inkin'  it  ain't  !  " 

But,  des'  de  same,  I  caiir't  he'p  feelin'  dat 
Bip  bean  a  king,  an'  I  kyine  o'  scrooch  w'en  he 
came  roun'.  One  mo'nin'  Bip  he  doan'  tu'n  out 
wid  de  rest  of  us  to  go  to  de  fiel',  an'  de  ove'- 
seeuh  he  luke  ev'whah  but  cain't  fine  hide  no' 
haiuh  of  'im.  Bip  he  done  gone,  sho's  yo' 
bo'n ! 

*' Jicketty  !  "  I  say.  "Dat  oncommon  nigguh 
done  p'intin'  fo'  Aff'ky  to  git  he  kingdom  back! 
Dat's  w'at  he  is  !  " 

"  He  done  p'intin'  fo'  Can'dy,  dah's  whah  he 
done  p'intin'  fo' ! ''  my  ol' mammy  say.  "An' 
w'en    dey   cotch  'im  an'  fotch  'im  back,  he  be 


196    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

mighty  sorry  he  try  to  git  'way  fum  dis  hyuh 
Ian'  o'  freedom  !  " 

Dey  call  out  de  dogs,  an'  bahmby  de  dogs 
dey  fine  Bip's  track,  an'  'way  dey  go,  whoo, 
whoop  !  It  lead  'em  plumb  todes  de  big  gum 
swamp,  an'  swush  !  into  it  dey  go,  ol'  mahsuh 
an'  de  ove'seeuh  close  ahine  'em.  Mos'  half  a 
day  it  go  'fo'  we  done  heah  from  'em,  an  den  oV 
mahsuh  an'  the  ove'seeuh  dey  come  back  alone. 
Whah  de  dogs?  An'  whah  Bip ?  'Way  off, 
deep  in  de  swamp,  de  dogs  dey  done  run  Bip 
down.  De  ove'seeuh  been  leadin'  ol'  mahsuh  in 
de  chase,  an'  he  heah  de  rumpus  de  dogs  meek, 
an'  he  meek  pov/f ul  hase  to  git  back  'fo'  dey  tah 
Bip  to  pieces,  'kaze  mahs'  often  say  he  woan' 
take  ten  hundud  doUuh  fo'  dat  nigguh.  De 
ove'seeuh  git  dah  des'  as  de  two  dogs  meek  dey 
jomp  fo'  Bip's  froat.  Bip  he  standin'  wiv  he 
back  'gin  a  big  gum  tree,  flashin'  he  eyes,  an'  he 
haid  frowed  high.  De  dogs  bean  de  bigges'  an' 
feeuhses'  bloodhoun's  in  all  dat  kentry.  Dey 
jomp  fo'  Bip's  front.  Bip  he  ritch  out  wiv  bofe 
he  ban's,  an'  he  cletch  de  win'pipe  o'  one  dog  wiv 
one  han',  an'  he  cletch  de  win'pipe  o'  d'  udduh 
dos:  wiv  he  udduh  han',  an'  dah  he  hoi'  'em  out 
at  ahm's  lent',  squeezin'  de  life  out'n  'em,  while 


King  Bip.  197 

dey  kick  an'  twis'  an'  wriggle  in  he  mighty  cletch. 
De  ove'seeuli  he  so  ove'whem'd  wiv  s'prise,  he 
des'  Stan'  dah  lack  he  done  took  root  in  de 
swamp,  an'  w'en  he  git  he  senses  back,  Bip  bean 
tah'n  away  out  o'  sight  in  de  tangle,  an'  de  dogs 
dey  bean  stretch  daid  at  de  foot  o'  de  big  gum 
tree,  wiv  dey  eyes  squeezed  'way  out  on  dey 
cheeks.     OF  mahs'  he  done  come  up  des'  den. 

^^  Whah  he  is  ?  "  he  puff,  he  breff  mos'  gone. 

De  ove'seeuh  he  des'  p'int  to  de  dogs  layin' 
dah  choked  to  deff.  He  cain't  say  a  wud. 
Mahs'  he  look,  an'  he  know. 

"What  a  monst'us  good  nigguh  dat  Bip  is!" 
he  say.  ''It  a  mighty  shame  if  he  git  up  Norf 
dah,  an'  stahv  to  deff  !  We  mus'  put  mo'  dogs 
attuh  him  !  " 

So  dey  kim  back  an'  git  mo'  dogs,  an'  whoop 
'em  'long  de  trail.  De  dogs  dey  desp'rit  eaguh 
to  git  hold  o'  dat  runaway  till  dey  come  to  whah 
d  'udduh  two  dogs  lay  daid,  wiv  dey  eyes  belgin' 
out.  Den  dey  stop  an'  sniff  an'  luke  pow'ful 
skeeuht,  an'  dey  woan'  go  'nudduh  step  on  de 
trail,  suh  ?  No,  suh !  Not  'nudduh  step,  an' 
mahsuh  no'  de  ove'seeuh  cain't  make  'em  !  So 
dah  ain'  nuffin'  fo'  to  do  but  to  come  back  an' 
'lahm  de  kentry  all  roun'  an'  wahn  folks  to  keep 


1 98     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

a  right  smaht  eye  out  fo'  Bip,  an'  fotch  'im  back 
to  ol'  mahsuh  w'en  dey  fine  'im.  But  dey  nevuh 
did  fine  'im,  suh  !  No,  suli  !  Dey  nevuh  did. 
Ev'  time  I  t'ink  o'  Bip  attuli  he  gone  I  say : 

'^  He  a  king,  sho'ly,  an'  he  des'  natch'ly  gone 
back  to  Aff'ky  to  git  he  kingdom  ! " 

But  I  doan'  say  dat  to  my  ol'  mammy  no  mo', 
'kaze  she  desp'rit  put  out  at  Bip  fo'  skitin'  'way 
fum  dat  dah  Ian'  o'  freedom,  an'  she  swat  me, 
sho's  yo'  bo'n  ! 

Dis  hyuh  done  happen  in  de  ahly  spring,  an' 
long  todes  de  eend  o'  summuli  one  day  dah  come 
a  queeuli-lookin'  man  to  de  plahntation.  He  wo' 
long  hah,  an'  booshy  w'iskuhs,  an'  a  wool  hat. 

"  Dis  hyuh  de  McKeevuh  plahntation  ?  "  he  say. 

Mahsuh  tol'  him  dat  dah  bean  de  McKeevuh 
plahntation. 

"  Dis  hyuh  Gunnel  McKeevuh  ?  "  de  stranguh 
say. 

"  Yes,  suh,"  mahs'  he  say. 

'' Yo'  done  los'  a  nigguh  name  Bip.'"'  de 
stranguh  he  say. 

"  No,  suh  !  "  mahs'  he  say.  "  De  nigguh  name 
Bip  he  don  los'  heself !  " 

''  No  diff'nce  !  "  de  stranguh  he  say,  wavin'  he 
ban',     "  I  come  hyuh  to  buy  dat  nigguh  j  " 


King  Bip.  199 

or  mahs'  he  luke  at  dat  man  lack  he  t'ink  he 
crazy. 

"  Waffo'  yo'  talk  dat  a- way,  man  ? "  mahs'  he 
say.  '•'  How  kin  I  sail  yo'  dat  nigguh  w'en  I  ain't 
got  'im  to  sail }  " 

*^  No  diff'nce  ! "  de  man  he  say,  wavin'  he 
han'  ag'in.  ''  I  done  got  'im  !  No,  I  hain', 
needuh  !     He  done  got  me  !  " 

or  mahs'  he  luke  at  dat  man  some  mo',  an' 
den  he  git  pow^ful  mad,  an'  swah  desp'rites' 
kyine. 

'•'Yo'  got  my  nigguh?"  he  holluh.  ^' Waffo 
yo'  doan'  fotch  'im  back,  den  !  Waffo'  yo'  doan' 
fotch  'im  back  ?  Dat  man  Bip  wuff  mo'n  ten 
hund'd  dolluhs,  suh  !  " 

"  I  done  give  yo'  mo'n  ten  hund'd  dolluhs  fo' 
'im  ! "  de  man  he  holluh,  des'  as  loud  as  ol' 
mahsuh,  but  not  mad;  des'  eaguh. 

Den  mahs'  he  luke  pow'ful  s'prise,  but  he 
danduh  it  keep  riz,  an'  he  holluh  : 

"Yo'  fotch  my  nigguh  back  or  I  meek  yo' 
wush  yo'  nevuh  been  bo'n,  suh  !  Yo'  got  my 
nigguh  !     Waffo'  yo'  doan'  fotch  him  back  ?  " 

"  Gunnel,"  de  man  he  say,  kyine  o'  soovin', 
"  des'  yo'  hahk  to  me !  Des'  yo'  hahk  to  me  a 
spell,  an'  I  done  tell  yo'  why  I  doan'  fotch  'im 


200    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

back.  I  live  'way,  'way  ovuh  yon  in  de  Tennes- 
see mountains.  Right  in  de  wilduhnus,  suh, 
lack  John  de  Baptis',  only  John  de  Baptis'  he 
nevuh  did  have  a  wife  an'  chillun,  an'  I  doan' 
live  on  locus'es  and  wile  honey.  I  live  on  co'n 
bread  an'  bah  meat  and  ven'zun.  I  live  up  dah 
in  de  wilduhness,  'kase  I  doan'  lack  de  ways  o' 
de  wul',  an'  my  wife  she  doan'  lack  de  ways  o' 
de  wul',  and  my  chillun  dey  des  natch'ly  live  dah 
wiv  us.  So  we  move  into  dat  wilduhness,  rise  a 
face  camp,  an'  settles  down  snugges'  kyine,  suh. 
Neighbuhs  dey  bean  pow'ful  skeeuhce,  an'  dey 
weekeduh  dan  dey  is  skeeuhce,  an'  I  pritch  de 
gospel  to  'em  ef  I  git  de  chance,  tryin'  to  tu'n 
'em  fum  dey  weeked  ways.  But  dey 's  mighty 
stubb'n  !     Mighty  stubb'n,  suh  ! 

*'  Des'  'bout  a  week  now  I  keel  couple  o'  fat 
deeuhs  in  de  wudes,  an'  fotch  'em  in  an'  heng 
'em  at  de  front  do'  o'  de  face  camp.  De  front 
do'  of  a  face  camp,  suh,  is  de  hull  o'  dat  side  o' 
de  cabin,  so's  de  air,  an'  de  light  o'  de  moon,  an' 
de  rain,  too,  dey  have  plenty  room  to  git  in.  I 
heng  dem  deeuhs  up  at  de  front  do'  o'  de  camp, 
an'  in  de  night  de  dogs  dey  week  me  up  wiv  dey 
despr'it  bahkin',  an'  I  rise  up  in  de  bunk.  De 
free  chillun  dey  sleepin'  in  'nudduh  bunk  des' 


King  Bip.  201 

ovuh  dat  un.  De  moon  shinin'  lack  day  in  de 
camp,  an'  I  see  two  big  balls  out  do's,  w'at  snick 
out'n  de  wudes  to  steal  dem  deeuh  coccuss.  De 
noise  it  week  up  de  wife  an'  de  chillun,  an'  dey 
see  w'at  meek  de  trouble,  an'  dey  scream  an' 
holluh  pow'ful.  V\"en  de  bahs  see  de  dogs,  dey 
resh  at  'em,  an'  de  dogs  dey  scrummidge  plumb 
into  de  camp.  De  bahs  dey  swoop  in  attuh  de 
dogs.  I  jomp  fum  bed  des'  den,  an'  de  bahs 
mos'  run  me  dov/n  an'  tromp  me  in  de  groun'. 
Fust  ting  I  do  I  he'p  my  wife  up  to  de  bunk 
whah  de  chillun  is,  out'n  ritch  o'  de  trouble,  as  I 
done  t'ink.  Nex'  t'ing  I  know  I  bean  mixed  up 
wiv  dogs  an'  bahs  in  de  desp'rites'  skrimmidge 
w'at  evuh  happen  in  de  Tennessee  mountains. 
Dey  cram  me  'gin  de  eend  de  cabin,  an'  it  only 
des'  bean  pine  sidin',  right  unduh  de  bunks, 
an'  de  cabin  it  sheck  an'  tremble  lack  it  done 
tumble  in  a  heap  nex'  minute.  I  know  dat  it 
kin  only  be  des'  a  leetle  spell  'fo'  I  be  ripped  to 
pieces  by  dem  bahs,  an'  I  des'  holluh'n  to  my 
wife  to  jomp  wiv  de  chillun  an'  run  fo'  dey  lives 
out'n  dah,  w'en  sumpin'  dahk'd  de  moonlight,  an' 
I  glance  dat  way.  Wat  'peah'd  to  be  a  monst'us 
big  man  kim  reshin'  in  de  camp.  I  see  a  long 
knife  blade  shinin'  in  he  han',  an'  den  he  bean 


202     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

cuttin'  an'  sloshin'  at  dem  bahs  de  despr'ites' 
kyine.  I  see  'im  slide  dat  knife  clean  to  de  belt 
in  one  bah,  an'  it  drap  like  a  log  ag'in  de  eend 
o'  de  shecky  cabin.  Des'  den  d'  udduh  bah  had 
he  fangs  mos'  fasten  in  my  froat,  an'  dey  bean 
dah  in  annuduh  second,  an'  rip  it  to  strings, 
w'en  de  man  he  frow  heself  on  dat  bah  an'  slash 
it  open  'most  fum  eend  to  eend.  It  tumble 
ag'in  de  shecky  cabin,  an'  crash  !  come  de  camp 
down  an'  kivvuh  us  deep  'neaf  de  timbuhs ! 

"  I  creep  out'n  dat  wrack  somehow  anudduh 
an'  dig  fo'  de  rest.  I  heah  my  wife  an'  chillun 
shricken'  an'  holluh'n,  an'  I  know  dey  cain't  be 
daid,  but  de  pow'ful  man  w'at  drap  in  fum  some- 
whah  an'  save  us  fum  de  bahs,  I  cain't  heah  'im, 
an'  I  cain't  see  'im.  I  dig  out  de  wife  an'  de 
chilluns,  an'  dey  been  mo'  skeeuht  dan  hu't. 
Den  we  all  mine  fo'  de  man,  an'  bahmby  we  on- 
kivvuh  him,  an'  we  see  dat  he  black— de  blackes' 
man  I  evuh  did  see,  suh  !  He  monst'us  to'  up 
by  bahs,  an'  he  crunched  desp'rit  by  de  wrack, 
an'  we  t'ink  he  daid,  sho'ly.  We  pull  him  out 
an'  do  fo'  him,  an'  bahmby  he  ope'  he  eyes,  an' 
we  know  he  ain'  daid,  an'  we  keep  at  'im,  and 
w'en  mo'nin'  come  he  kin  rise  to  he  feet,  but 
he  desp'rit  clawed  up  !     We  feel  des'  lack  we 


King  Bip.  203 

mus'  drap  on  de  groun'  'fo'  dat  man  an'  wush'p 
him  fo'  what  he  do,  but  fo'  we  kin  say  a  wud  he 
rise  to  he  feet,  frow  up  he  haid  monst'us  high, 
fold  he  ahms  cross  he  ches',  an'  say : 

" '  I'se  a  runaway  nigguh  !  ' 

"  '  No  diff'nce  ! '  I  say.  '  Yo'  stay  right  hyuh 
till  yo'  git  well,  an'  den  we  he'p  yo' !  ' 

"  Den  he  wilt  right  down,  suh,  an'  tell  us  how 
he  feel  he  bean  made  to  be  a  mastuh  heseff,  not 
a  slave,  an'  how  he  run  away  fum  yo',  suh,  dough 
yo'  bean  pow'ful  kyine  mastuh,  an'  he  bean  free 
months  getting  to  de  Tennessee  mountains  on 
his  way  Norf,  an'  how  he  happen  to  stumble  on 
my  camp  des'asde  bah  wus  rippin'  me  to  pieces, 
an'  des'  pitch  in  an'  save  ouh  lives,  suh. " 

"  I  meek  up  my  min'  dat  very  minute,  an'  I 
des'  stay  dah  long  enough  to  rise  anudduh 
camp,  an'  den  tell  Bip — he  tol'  me  he  name — to 
stay  dah  till  I  come  back,  'kase  I  gwan  'way  on 
some  business,  an'  I  junneyovuh  hyuh,  suh,  an' 
I  want  to  buy  dat  nigguh  !  I  mus'  own  dat  nig- 
guh, suh  !  " 

or  mahs'  he  listen  to  all  dat  story,  an'  some- 
times he  breave  hahd  an' git  mois'  in  he  eye,  but 
w'en  de  stranguh  say  he  mus'  own  dat  nigguh, 
he  danduh  rise  ag'in,  an  he  swah  an  holluh  : 


204    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  What !  Yo'  ongrateful  hippincrit !  Altuh 
w'at  he  done  do  fo'  yo',  yo'  want  to  own  dat  nig- 
guh !  I  desp'rit  notion  to  squash  yo'  to  de 
groun'  !  " 

"  Des  hahk  a  minute,  Gunnel  ! "  de  man  he 
say.  "  I  mus'  own  dat  nigguh  !  I  mus'  own  dat 
nigguh  'kase  I  want  to  set  him  free,  an'  let  him 
go  whah  he  please  in  dis  hyuh  wide  wul' !  " 

"  I  be  damn  if  yo'  do  !  "  ol'  mahs'  he  holluh. 
''  Dat  nigguh  wuff  mo'n  ten  hund'd  doUuhs,  an' 
I  woan'  sell  'im  to  you,'  an'  yo'  nevuh  shall  set 
'im  free !  No,  suh  !  I'll  set  'im  free  myseff, 
suh  !  " 

An'  ol'  mahs'  he  done  draw  up  de  papuhs 
w'at  sot  Bip  free,  an'  give  'em  to  de  man  fum  de 
Tennessee  mountains,  an'  de  man  he  des' 
natch'ly  mos'  cry  he  eyes  out,  an'  go  away  sayin' 
ol'  mahsuh  boun'  to  go  plumb  to  heaven,  sho's 
he  bo'n  !     But  my  o'  mammy  she  desp'rit  put  out. 

"  Mahs'  he  done  gwan  crazy,  dat  a  fac'  !  "  she 
say.  "  Sho  !  Castin'  dat  nigguh  out  o'  dis  hyuh 
Ian'  o'  freedom  on  to  de  col'  wul'  lack  dat ! " 

Time  it  jog  on  an'  jog  on,  an'  we  doan'  heah 
no  mo'  o'  Bip,  'cep'  de  t'ankful  wuds  he  send 
mahsuh  in  a  lettuh  fum  de  Tennessee  mountain 
man. 


King  Bip.  205 

Den  bahmby  de  wah  it  done  come  along. 
Times  dey  gittin'  mighty  hot,  an'  mahsuh  jine 
de  ahmy  to  go  he'p  swip  de  Yankees  back  fum 
dat  dah  Ian'  o'  freedom. 

"  Dey  mus'  be  gittin'  desp'rit  weak  up  Norf," 
mahs'  he  say.  "  Dey  send'n'  nigguh  sojuhs  down 
hyuh  to  he'p  'em  !  " 

Mahsuh  go  to  de  wah,  an' he  a  pow'fulfightuh. 
On  day  in  a  monst'us  hahd  battle  he  fine  heseff 
cut  off  from  he  men  an'  s'rounded  by  a  heap  o' 
Yankees.  He  cut  an'  slash  an'  fight  lack  a 
tiguh,  but  dah  bean  too  many  'gin  him.  He  lose 
he  pistols  an'  he  sawd,  an'  a  Yankee  sojuh  have 
he  gun  aim  plumb  at  mahsuh's  haht.  Des'  den 
a  nigguh  sojuh  come  reshin'  froo,  frowin'  d' 
udduh  sojuhs  heah  an'  dah  lack  chaff  befo'  de 
win'.  He  dash  heself  'gin  ol'  m.ahsuh  des'  de 
time  dat  Yankee  sojuh  pull  de  trigguh  of  de  gun 
w'athe  aim'  plumb  at  mahsuh's  haht.  De  bullet 
it  sink  in  dat  po'  nigguh  sojuh  'sted  of  in  ol' 
mahsuh,  des'  as  mahsuh  see  him  an'  know  him 
an'  holluh : 

"Bip!" 

Yes,  suh  !  It  bean  Bip.  He  des'  nod  he  haid 
an'  smile,  an'  die  in  ol'  mahsuh's  ahms  ! 

When  mahsuh    come  home  fum   de   wah  an' 


2o6  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

tell  'bout  dat,  I  des'  belluh  lack  a  baby,  an'  say, 
an'  say  to  dis  day  : 

"  Po'  Bip  !     A   king  ?     Sho  !     Mo'  dan  a  king 
he  bean,  sho'ly  !  " 


THE  BONES  OF  BOZAR  BUNN. 


THE  BONES  OF  BOZAR  BUNN. 


Being  the  Marvelous  Tale  of  How  They  were 
Scattered  and  Found  Agam  after  the  Persist- 
ent Visits  of  the  Boisterous  Spooks  and  the 
Specter  Dog. 

One  time,  oh,  so  long  ago  dat  my  ol'  mammy 
she  only  des'  'membuh  it  'kaze  huh  ol'  mammy 
done  tol'  huh  'bout  it,  man  named  'Kiah  Juffkin 
hekimdown  yon  'long  de  Cape  Fair  Rivuh  an' 
teck  a  plahntation.  He  bean  monst'ous  queeuh 
man,  dat  'Kiah  Juffkin  bean,  an'  he  sistuh  Joan 
she  bean  mighty  queeuh  wooman.  Dey  bofe 
mighty  ol',  an'  dey  done  look  so  scraggy  and 
skimpy  dat  ev'body  down  dah  dey  fowt  shy  of  'em, 
and  a  heap  o'  people  say  : 

"  Huh  !     Des'  yo'  mine  w'at  we  done  tell  yo' ! 

Dem  Juffkinses  dey  bean  hoodoos  !      Des'    yo' 

mine  !     Dey  hoodoo  somebody  'round  hyuh,  fus' 

t'ing  yo'  know  !  " 

209 


210     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

But  dey  nevuh  did  hoodoo  nobody  roun'  dah, 
not  'co'din'  to  w'at  my  ol'  mammy  evuh  heah 
huh  ol'  mammy  say,  but  dey  done  do  wussuh 
t'ing  dan  hoodoo  !  Sho  !  I  des'  bet  ol'  Satan  he 
bean  mos'  lahfin'  heseff  to  deff,  dese  yeahs  an' 
yeahs,  suh,  seein'  'Kiah  Juffkin  an'  he  sistuh 
Joan  roas'in'  an'  toas'in'  an'  weepin'  an'  wailin' 
an'  gnashin'  dey  teef ! 

Bozuh  Bunn  he  bean  a  peddluh  w'at  done  tote 
he  pack  froo  dat  kentry  so  long  dat  ev'body 
know  him  des'  lack  dey  know  dey  ownseff.  An' 
dey  know  Bozuh's  ol'  w'ite  dog  des'  well  dey 
know  Bozuh,  an'  ef  some  time  Bozuh  he  happen 
to  come  'long  dat  a-way,  an'  dey  doan'  see  dat  dog 
joggin'  'long  close  'hind  Bozuh's  heels,  my  ol' 
mammy  say  she  bet  dey  holluh : 

"  Jicketty  !  Dis  hyuh  wul'  comin'  to  an  end, 
sho'ly." 

One  day  Bozuh  he  leave  de  Chink  plahnta- 
tion,  whah  he  done  sell  some  o'  he  goods,  an'  say 
he  gwan  to  de  Dubbs  plahntation.  De  Dubbs 
plahntation  bean  eight  miles  fudduh  on,  an' 
night  it  mos'  fallin'.     So  de  Chink  folks  dey  say  : 

"  Reckon  yo'  bettuh  stay  hyuh  till  mo'nin', 
Bozuh." 

But  Bozuh  he  say,  "  Cain't  do  it.     Dey  'spect- 


The  Bones  of  Bozar  Bunn.     211 

in'  me  to  de  Dubbs  plahntation  to-night.  I  got 
mighty  fine  t'ings  fo'  Janey,  w'at  gwan  to  git 
mah'd,  an'  she  be  pow'ful  dis'pinted  if  I  doan' 
git  dah  to-night." 

So  'way  Bozuh  he  go,  de  ol'  w'ite  dog  joggin' 
close  'hind  he  heels.  Nex'  day  young  ]\[ahsuh 
Joe  Dubbs  he  kim  to  de  Chink  plahntation. 

"  Bozuh  Bunn  bean  hyuh  .'' "  he  say. 

De  Chink  folks  dey  say,  "  Why,  sho'ly !  " 

"  Whah  he  done  gone  .''  "  young  Mahsuh  Joe 
he  say. 

De  Chink  folks,  dey  say  :  "  Why,  he  done  gone 
to  your  plahntation  lahs'  night !  " 

"  He  nevuh  did  git  dah  !  "  young  Mahsuh  Joe 
he  say. 

An'  he  nevuh  did,  suh  !  Nevuh  !  Folks  dey 
inquiah  ev'whah.  Lahs'  anybody  done  see  o' 
Bozuh,  Sam  Pool  he  meet  him  an'  he  dog,  nigh 
de  Juffkin  cabin  dat  night,  des'  'bout  dahk. 
Folks  go  dis  a-way,  dat  a-way,  all  roun'  de  ken- 
try,  but  nobody  nevuh  see  po'  Bozuh  no'  he  dog 
attuh  dat.      Den  folks  dey  'gin  to  talk. 

"Jicketty!''  dey  say.  ''Nobody  doan' spec' 
Bozuh  an'  he  dog  done  bean  snatch  up  an'  toted 
'way  to  de  skies,  lack  ol'  'Lijuh,  does  dey  ?  Co'se 
not !     Den  whah  dey  is  ?     Nobody  doan'  spec' 


212     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

Bozuh  an'  he  dog  done  sonk  down  to  de  bottom- 
less pit  in  de  twenkle  of  an  eye,  does  dey  ?  Co'se 
not  ?  Den  whah  dey  is  ?  We  done  tell  yo'  vvhah 
dey  is  !  "  folks  gin  to  say.  "  Dey's  whah  ol'  'Kiah 
Juffkin  an'  he  sistuh  Joan  done  put  'em  !  Dah's 
whah  dey  is  !  " 

Dis  hyuh  bean  pow'ful  strong  talk,  an'  bahmby 
ev'body  dey  t'ink  it  mus'  be  de  troof,  sho'ly,  an' 
dey  go  up  to  de  Juffkin  plahntation  to  see  'bout 
it.  Nobody  dah !  Cabin  empty  as  a  dippuh 
tu'n  upside  down,  suh !  'Kiah  an'  Joan  dey 
done  gone,  an'  nobody  'cep'  ol'  Satan,  who  done 
bean  dey  stiddy  company  ev'  sence,  suh,  nevuh 
did  see  'em  no  mo'. 

Time  it  pahs,  an'  pahs,  an'  pahs.  Nobody 
keeuh  to  teck  up  de  Juffkin  plahntation,  an'  it 
lie  dah  desp'rit  spooky.  Den  'long  kim  Mahs' 
Henry  Dew,  fum  down  in  de  Peedee  kentry. 

''Why!"  he  say.  "  W^affo'  dat  plahntation 
gwan  to  shucks  ?  " 

Folks  dey  done  tell  him  why  dat  plahntation 
gwan  to  shucks. 

"  Poof  !  "  he  say.     "  I  teck  dat  plahntation  !  '* 

An^  Mahs'  Henry  done  teck  it,  an'  he  tah 
down  de  ol'  cabin,  an'  'gin  to  dig  foundation  fo' 
new  one.     He  men  dey  ain't  dig  mo'n  free  feet 


The  Bones  of  Bozar  Bunn.     213 

'fo  dey  tu'n  up  a  heap  o'  bones  !  De  men  dey 
drap  dey  tools  an'  run. 

"  Mahs'  Henry  !  Mahs'  Henry  !  "  dey  holluh. 
"  We  done  fine  po'  Bozuh's  bones  ? " 

"  How  yo'  know  dey  Bozuh's  bones  ?  "  Mahs' 
Henry  he  say. 

"  Mus'  be  Bozuh's  bones,  Mahs'  Henry  ! "  dey 
holluh.  ''  Ain'  no  udduh  pusson  'cep'  Bozuh 
los'  any  bones  "roun'  hyuh,  suh." 

But  Mahs'  Henry  he  say.  "  Poof !  Meb'  dey's 
Bozuh's  bones  and  meb'  dey  ain't.  S'pose  dey 
is?  Bozuh  doan'  want  'em  no  mo'.  Dey  ain' 
no  use  to  Bozuh." 

So  Mahs'  Henry  he  teck  an'  chuck  de  bones 
off  in  de  bresh. 

"  Dah,"  he  say ;  "  fus'  time  Bozuh  comes  'long 
dis  a-way  'quiah'n  fo'  he  bones,  des'  tell  him  dey 
layin'  ovuh  yon  in  de  bresh,  an'  if  he  want  'em 
he  kin  go  git  'em  !  " 

Mahs'  Henry  he  lahf  lack  he  mos'  tickle  to 
deff  wiv  he  joke,  but  bahmby  time  kim  w'en  he 
lahf  on  d'udduh  side  he  face,  suh  !  Bahmby  de 
new  house  it  done,  an'  Mahs'  Henry  he  fotch  he 
folks  an'  move  in.  Dey  ain'  got  squah  settle 
down  yit,  'fo'  a  pow'ful  oneasy  ghos'  it  'gin  to 
come  dah   an'  mingle   wiv  'em,   an'   skeeuh   'em 


214     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

mos'  out  dey  senses,  suh  !  It  done  kick  ovuh  de 
cheeuhs  an'  de  tables,  an'  it  breck  de  deeshes  in 
de  pahntry,  an'  it  rattle  de  windows  an'  bang  de 
do's  desp'rites'  kyine.  Ev'  day  dis  hyuh  ghos' 
do  dat,  an'  nobody  kin  see  him,  o'  co'se.  An' 
ev'  night  dis  hyuh  ghos'  it  keep  a  sheckin'  suffin' 
'bout  Mahs'  Henry's  eahs,  when  he  go  to  bed, 
an'  dat  sheckin'  it  des'  natch'ly  soun'  like  nuffin' 
but  bones  in  a  bag,  suh  !  Den,  ev'  little  w'ile, 
de  win'  it  swip  an'  swoop  froo  de  house  lack  it 
chasin'  suffin'  mighty  fas',  an'  duh  ain'  no  window 
open  fo'  dat  win'  to  get  in  !  An'  duh  ain'  no 
win'  blowin'  on  de  outside,  anyhow,  suh  !  Dat 
bean  a  mighty  peeuht  ghos' !  Mighty  peeuht, 
suh ! 

An'  w'at  mo'  yo'  t'ink  ?  Jicketty !  I  des' 
natch'ly  git  creepy  all  ovuh  to  t'ink  of  it  my 
ownseff !  A  big  w'ite  dog,  it  teck  to  comin' 
d'ah.  Dey  see  him  plain  'nough,  but  w'en  dey 
t'ink  dey  go  nigh  him,  sometimes  he  des'  float  up 
lack  a  fedduh,  an'  sometimes  he  des'  fade  'way 
lack  he  nev'  been  dah  at  all !  An'  all  de  time  he 
look  monst'ous  feeuhs,  an'  snap  an'  snahl  an' 
gnash  he  teef  ! 

Den  folks  dey  'gin  to  say  :  "  Huh,  huh  !  Dat's 
po'  Bozuh  Bunn  an'  he  ol'  w'ite  dog  !     Dat's  who 


The  Bones  of  Bozar  Bunn.     215 

it  is  !  Mahs'  Henry  an'  he  folks  dey  nev'  have 
no  peace  no'  mo',  'less  dey  done  git  Bozuh's 
bones  togevvuh  an'  put  'em  whah  dey  keep  ! 
BozLih  he  only  des'  back  hyuh  'quiah'n  fo'  he 
bones,  an'  de  dog  he  back  hyuh  to  he'p  him  git 
'em  !     Dat's  all  !  " 

Mahs'  Henry  he  cain't  do  nuffin'  but  t'ink  so, 
too,  but  he  pow'ful  stubb'n,  an'  one  night,  w'en 
dat  ghos'  bean  sheckin'  he  bag  roun'  Mahs' 
Henry's  haid,  Mahs'  Henry  he  holluh  : 

"  Look-a  hyuh,  yo'  Bozuh  !  Waffo'  yo'  doan' 
go  off  yon  in  de  bresh  an'  git  yo'  ol'  bones  !  I 
ain'  got  yo'  bones  !  Dey  off  yon  in  de  bresh  !  I 
ain'  got  no  time  to  gevvuh  up  ol'  bones !  Ef  yo' 
done  want  yo'  bones,  waffo'  yo'  doan'  go  off  yon 
in  de  bresh  an'  git  'em  ?  Yo'  mos'  onreasonbles' 
ghos'  I  ev'  see !     G'way  f um  hyuh  !  " 

But  dat  ghos'  it  doan'  pay  no  'tention  to  !Mahs' 
Henry,  an'  de  tables  an'  de  cheeuhs  dey  done 
keep  upsettin',  an'  de  deeshes  dey  done  breck, 
breck,  breck,  an'  de  win'  it  done  whush  froo  dat 
house,  an'  rattle  an'  bang  de  windows,  mo'  and 
mo',  an'  wussuh  dan  evuh.  An'  de  ghos'  dog ! 
Jicketty  !  How  he  do  git  madduh  an'  madduh  ! 
Um-m-m — um  !  how  dat  ghos'  dog  do  git  mad- 
duh an'  madduh  !     Bahmby  Mahs'  Henry's  wife 


2i6     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

she  des'  done  cain't  stan'  it  no  longuh.  She  nigh 
crazy,  an'  one  day  she  say : 

"  Yo',  Henry  Dew  !  Ef  yo'  doan'  go  gevvuh 
up  po'  Bozuh's  bones  an'  phihnt  'em  in  de  groun' 
lack  Chreestian  men  ot  a-be,  so  Bozuh  kin  git 
he  'tahnal  res',  den  I  done  gwan  to  do  it  myseff, 
suh !  I  bean  gittin'  pow'ful  tahd  o'  dis 
hyuh ! " 

But  Mahs'  Henry  he  mighty  stubb'n,  an'  he 
swah  an'  swah,  an'  say  damn  ef  he  do  it ! 

Den  Mahs'  Henry's  wife  she  bean  good  as 
huh  wud,  suh,  an'  she  done  jog  out  to  de  bresh 
to  gevvuh  up  po'  Bozuh's  bones  an'  plahnt  'em 
lack  Chreestian  bones  ot  a-be,  butw'atyo'  t'ink? 
She  sahch  an'  she  sahch  in  de  bresh,  but  she 
cain't  only  des'  fine  two,  free  little  pieces  o' 
Bozuh  !  'Peahs  lack  po'  Bozuh  done  bean  scat- 
tuh  to  de  win's,  suh  !  Mahs'  Henry's  wife  she 
pow'ful  wuck  up  ovuh  dis  hyuh,  an'  she  des' 
bean  meckin'  up  huh  mine  to  pickhuhseff  up  an' 
go  back  to  de  ol'  Peedee,  w'en  de  troof  it  breck 
in  on  huh.  She  done  scampuh  back  to  de  house 
fas'  her  laigs  kin  tote  huh. 

"  Yo',  Henry  Dew  !  "  she  holluh.  "  Yo'  hahk 
to  me,  suh  !  I  done  spec'  yo'  doan'  know  who 
aiggin'  dese  hyuh  ghos'es  on,  do  yo'  ?" 


The  Bones  of  Bozar  Bunn.     217 

j\Iahs'  Henry  he  say,  "  Aiggin  'em  on  !  Poof  ! 
Who  could  aig  a  ghos'  on  ?  ' 

"  I  tell  yo'  who  aiggin'  dese  hyuh  ghos'es  on  !  " 
Mahs'  Henry's  wife  she  hoUuh.  "01'  Mahs' 
Gabr'el  heseff  !  Dat's  who  !  01'  Mahs'  Gabr'el ! 
Dat's  who  aiggin'  dese  hyuh  ghos'es  on  !  " 

Mahs'  Henry  he  skeeuh  a  lettle,  an'  bahmby 
he  say,  "  Wa-w^a-waffo'  kyine  o'  talk  dis  hyuh  !  " 

*'Yo'  hahk  to  me!"  Mahs'  Henry's  wife  she 
holluh.  "  I  done  bean  ovuh  yon  in  de  bresh  to 
gevvuh  up  po'  Bozuh's  bones,  an'  'peahs  lack 
dey  bean  scattuh  to  do  win's,  'kaze  I  cain't  fine 
only  des'  two,  free  little  bits  !  Whah  de  res'  ? 
Dat's  wat  ol'  ]\Iahs'  Gabr'el  he  want  to  know  ! 
Mahs'  Gabr'el  he  gwan  to  be  pow'ful  busy  w'en  he 
toot  he  ho'n  on  de  great  day  !  He  cain't  teck  time 
to  jog  all  'roun'  dis  hyuh  Cape  Fair  kentry  gev- 
vin'  up  Bozuh's  bones,  so  Bozuh  kin  rise  an'  be 
dah  des'  like  Chreestian  people  ot  a-be  !  No, 
suh  !  He  want  Bozuh  all  in  one  heap,  an'  he  done 
gwan  to  have  him  dat  a-way,  too  !  So  he  des'  bean 
aiggin'  dese  hyuh  ghos'es  on,  to  meek  yo'  gevvuh 
dem  bones,  an'  yo'  won't  nevuh  have  no  res'  till 
yo'  done  gevvuh  'em.  An'  yo'  hahk  to  me  ! 
Ef  yo'  doan'  gevvuh  dem  bones  an'  plahnt  'em 
lack  Chreestian  bones  ot    a-be,  whah  yo'  spec 


2i8     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

yo'  fine  yoseff  w'en  Mahs'  Gabr'el  toot  he  ho'n  ? 
Yo'  done  fine  yoseff  roas'in'  an'  toas'in',  gnashin' 
yo'  teef,  nex'  do'  neighbuh  to  ol'  'Kiah  Juffkin 
an'  he  sistuh  Joan  !  Dah's  whah  yo'  done  fine 
yoseff,  suh !  " 

Jicketty !  Dis  done  skeeiih  Mahs'  Henry 
mos'  in  fits,  an'  he  git  ovuh  he  stub'ness  mighty 
quick,  an'  declah  he  staht  out  dat  minute  to  git 
po'  Bozuh's  bones  togevvuh.  Den  he  lahn  heap 
o'  tings  'bout  dem  bones.  He  lahn  dey  done 
bean  kick  roun'  by  disboy  hyuh,  an'  dat  boydah, 
an'  'nudduh  boy  '  way  ovuh  yon.  He  lahn  dat 
one  pusson  'way  up  de  Cape  Fair  fine  dat  Bozuh's 
hip  bone  it  bean  pow'fulgood  t'ing  to  crack  hick' 
nuts  wiv,  and  dat  pusson  done  took  it  up  to  he 
plahntation.  Mahs'  Henry  he  lahn  'nudduh 
pusson  'way  down  de  Cape  Fair  fine  Bozuh's  shin 
bone  it  cain't  be  beat,  suh,  fo'  scrapin'  hah  off'n 
pigs  w'en  dey  bean  scald  at  keelin'  time,  an'  dat 
pusson  done  gone  took  it  down  to  he  plahntation. 
Mahs'  Henry  he  fine  dis  hyuh  bone  it  bean  seen 
setch  a  place  ;  dat  dah  bone  it  bean  seen  setch 
'nudduh  place,  J^n'  yon  bone  it  bean  seen  'nudduh 
place. 

"  Jicketty  !  "  he  say.  '  Dis  hyuh  done  gwan  to 
be  lack  sahchin   fo'  a  needle  in  haystacks  !  " 


The  Bones  of  Bozar  Bunn.     219 

But  ]Mahs'  Henry  he  sahch  an'  he  sahch.  He 
jog  hyuh,  he  jog  dah,  he  jog  ev'whah.  One  by 
one  he  gevvuh  dem  bones  an'  plahnt  'em  side 
by  side,  till  he  have  ev'  one  but  po'  Bozuh's 
skell.  An'  mo'  an'  mo'  bones  he  gevvuh^  mo' 
an'  mo'  dem  ghos'es  'peahs  to  git  easy  in  dey 
mine.  Dat  bag  it  hahdly  rattle'  'bout  Mahs' 
Henry's  eahs  no  mo' — des'  'nough  to  week  'im 
two,  free  times  ev'  night,  to  'mind  him  dat 
Bozuh's  skell  it  ain't  bean  foun'  yit.  De  cheeuhs 
an'  de  tables  dey  doan'git  kick 'way  ovuh  no 
mo',  but  only  des'  topple  an'  tottuh  ;  an'  ef  any 
deeshes  done  breck,  dey  bean  des'  no  'count 
trash,  w'at  Mahs'  Henry's  folks  doan'  keeuh 
wevvuh  dey  breck  or  not.  An'  dat  ghos'  dog  ! 
Jicketty  !  He  done  quit  snappin'  an'  snahlin', 
an'  'peahs  des'  lack  he  feelin'  right  smaht,  an' 
mos'  have  a  notion  to  wag  he  tail  J  An'  dat  win' 
it  doan'  swoop  an'  swoosh  froo  de  house  an' 
rattle  de  winduhs  no  mo'  but  des'  puff,  puff,  lack 
a  summuh  breeze,  suh  !  so  !Mahs'  Henry  he  say : 

"  Dese  hyuh  ghos'es  ain  cuttin'  up  no  mo'," 
he  say.  "We  doan'  mine  'em.  Guess  I  tu'n  de 
job  o'  fin'in  Bozuh's  skell  ovuh  to  ol'  Mahs' 
Gabr'el  w'en  he  toot  he  ho'n.     I  cain't  fine  it !  " 

Den    he    done    quit  sahchin'  fo'  de    skell,  an* 


220     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

w'at  yo'  t'ink  ?  Dem  ghos'es  dey  staht  in  wus- 
suh'n  evuh,  suh,  till  Mahs'  Henry  he  teck  it  all 
back  an'  'gin  to  sahch  ag'in  fo'  Bozuh's  skell. 
He  sahch,  an'  he  sahch,  an'  he  sahch,  an'  he 
cain^t  fine  hide  no'  hah  o'  dat  skell,  an'  bahmby 
he  say,  "  I  done  gwan  to  skin  'way  fum  des  hyuh 
kentry !  I  ain'  gwan  to  spen'  all  res'  my  days 
sahchin'  fo'  an'  ol'  boney  skell,  Gabr'el  or  no 
Gabr'el  !  "  An'  next  day  Mahs'  Henry  he  skun  ! 
He  skun  right  froo  de  ol'  gum  swamp,  but  he 
ain'  skun  fah,  suh,  w'en  a  big  fat  'possum  push 
up  'haid  of  him,  an'  jump  up  a  tree.  Dah  it  sot 
on  a  limb,  grinnin'  down  at  Mahs'  Henry.  Dat 
meek  Mahs'  Henry  pow'ful  mad,  an'  he  look 
'roun'  to  fine  sufhn'  to  chuck  at  de  'possum. 
He  s'prise  to  see  a  rock  lyin'  in  de  roots  of  a  tree 
nigh  dah. 

"  Jicketty  !  "  he  hoUuh.  "  How  dat  dah  rock 
git  in  dis  hyuh  swamp  ? " 

He  grab  fo'  de  rock  to  chuck  it  at  de  'possum, 
an'  de  rock  it  rise  so  sudden  w'en  he  grab  it  he 
mos'  tumble  ovuh  backuds.  Mahs'  Henry  he 
gaze  at  de  rock,  an'  he  eyes  pop  out  o'  he  haid 
desp'rites'  kyine.  Waffo'  dey  done  pop  up? 
Waffo'  you  spec'  dey  done  pop  ?  Des'  'kaze  w'at 
he  hoi'  in  he  han'  ain'  no  rock  at  all,  suh,  but  po'  ol' 


The  Bones  of  Bozar  Bunn.     221 

Bozuh's  skell.  Mahs'  Henry  he  des'  lif  one 
yoop  out'n  hesself,  an'  away  he  skun  back  home. 
I  reckon  dah  bean  de  hallylooyuh'nes'  time  dab 
den  w'at  anybody  ev'  did  heah  'long  de  Cape  Fair 
Rivuh  !  An'  dey  plahnt  Bozuh's  skell  'longside 
res'  o'  he  po'  ol'  bones,  an'  dem  ghos'es  dey  nevuh 
did  come  back  no  mo'. 

Dat's  w'at  my  ol'  mammy  done  tol'  me,,  an' 
huh  ol'  mammy  done  tol'  huh ;  so,  I  reckon  it 
must  be  a  fac',  suh,  sho'ly! 


THE  CRANKY  CRANE. 


THE   CRANKY  CRANE. 


Black  Homer,  Not  Committing  Himself,  Gives 
His  Old  Mammy's  Version  of  the  Conspiracy 
between  the  First  Turkey  Buzzard  and  the 
Original  Water  Moccasin  against  the  First 
Crane. 

I  DOAx'  spec'  yo'  evuh  did  heah,  suh,  dat  de 
crane,  dough  it  mighty  fon'  o'  feesh,  doan'  evuh 
eat  mullet  ?  I  doan'  spec'  yo'  evuh  did  heah  dat, 
suh  ?  I  doan'  say  so  ?  No,  suh,  I  doan'  say  so. 
I  doan'  say  nuffin  o'  de  kyine,  suh.  I  done  ax 
yo'  dat  I  spec'  yo'  nevuh  do  heah  dat  de  crane 
doan'  evuh  eat  mullet.  Dat's  w'at  I  done  say, 
suh.  I  doan'  say  de  crane  nevuh  do  eat  mullet. 
I  des'  ax  yo'  dat  I  spec'  yo'  nevuh  do  heah  dat 
it  doan'.     Do  yo'  evuh  heah  dat,  suh  ."^     No? 

I  done  t'ink  maybe  yo'  nevuh  do   heah  dat.     I 

done  t'ink  so.     Den  co'se  yo'    doan'  know   dat 

w'en  de  crane  he  stan'  in  de  wahtuh  on  he  one 
15  225 


226    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

laig,  feeshin',  an'  no  mattuh  ef  he  be  hongry  de 
desp'rites'  kyine,  all  de  mullets  in  dat  rivuh  dey 
kin  skrummige  by  him  an'  he  nevuh  will  shoot 
he  neck  down  to  cotch  a  single  one,  not  ef  he 
Stan'  dah  an'  stahv  heseff  to  deff,  suh.  Co'se 
yo'  doan'  know  dat,  den.  An'  co'se,  den  yo' 
doan'  know  dat  de  wahtuh  moc'sins  dey  des' gloat 
w'en  dey  see  hongry  ol'  crane  feeshin'  fo'  he 
dinnuh,  an'  skittuh  heah  an'  dah  an'ev'whah  froo 
de  wahtuh,  chasin'  all  d'  udduh  kyine  o'  feesh 
'way  off  fum  de  crane  an'  chasin'  de  mullets  so 
dey  skrummige  right  by  him,  'kaze  de  moc'sins 
dey  know  de  crane  he  doan'  eat  mullet,  dough  de 
mullet  it  bean  de  fattes'  an'  de  juicies'  an'  de 
sweetes'  feesh  in  dat  wahtuh.  An'  de  moc'sins 
dey  des'  lie  back  an'  grin  an'  hug  deysefEs 
w'en  dey  do  dat,  an'  t'ink  w'at  pummeatin' 
fools  de  cranes  done  bean  to  let  all  dat  lickin' 
good  feesh  meat  go,  des'  'kaze  dey  b'lieve  ef  dey 
gobble  a  mullet  dey  boun'  to  die  des'  de  nex' 
minute,  an'  de  moc'sins  dey  know  dat  dat  ain'no 
setch  a  t'ing.  Co'se  yo'  doan'  know  dat,  den. 
An'  co'se,  den,  yo'  doan'  know  dat  w'en  de  tucky 
buzza'ds  dey  see  a  hongry  ol'  crane  feeshin'  on 
he  one  laig,  maybe  mo'n  half  a  day  many  times, 
an'  dey  know  de  sweet  an'  fat  an'  juicy  mullets 


The  Cranky  Crane.  227 

been  skrummigin'  right  by  him,  an'  all  d"  udduh 
kyine  o'  feesh  been  skrummigin'  'way  off  from 
him,  dey  des'  succle  roun'  an  roun'  an'  cas'  dey 
eyes  down  on  him,  an'  lahf  to  deyseffs  an' 
chuckle,  'kaze  dey  know,  like  de  wahtuh  moc'sin 
do,  why  de  crane  t'ink  he  cain'  eat  dem  mullets, 
an'  dey  know  he  bein'  fooled  de  monst'uses' 
kyine,  an'  dey  havin'  dey  gloat  an'  dey  venge- 
ance, too,  des'  like  de  moc'sin  done  havin' 
his'n.  Co'se  yo'  doan'  know  dat,  den.  Co'se 
not. 

Den  de  fus'  t'ing,  I  mus'  wahn  yo',  an'  'press 
it  on  yo'  mine,  suh,  dat  I  doan'  say  dat  I  know 
dese  hyuh  t'ings.  I  doan'  say  so,  suh.  I  des' 
only  say  dat  co'se  yo'  doan'  know  'em.  Dat's 
w'at  I  say,  suh.  Des'  'membuh  dat,  an'  den  yo' 
woan'  fo'git  it.  I  reckon  I  could  know  dem 
t'ings  long,  long  time  ago,  dough,  ef  I  only  could 
teck  de  time  to  watch  out  fo'  dem,  but,  jicketty ! 
I  t'ink  I  got  a  right  smaht  mo'  tings  to  do  dan 
swabbleate  'long  a  rivuh,  watchin'  a  hongry  ol' 
crane  missin'  a  mighty  line  dinnuh  'kaze  he  a 
fool  an'  doan'  know  it !  An'  I  doan'  t'ink  I  gwan 
strain  my  eyes  at  dis  hyuh  time  o'  life  squeejin' 
'em  down  unduh  de  wahtuh  des'  to  see  a  p'ison 
moc'sin  grin   he  ugly  niouf !     No,   suh !     An'  I 


2  28     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

reckon  my  eahs  kin  do  bettuh  dan  frow  deyseffs 
up  in  de  aih  des'  to  hahk  ef  dey  kin  heah  a  raw- 
head  ol'  tucky  buzza'd  chucklin' !  Sho !  I 
reckon  so  !  Duh  bean  a  heap  o'  t'ings  on  dis 
hyuii  erf,  an'  unduh  dis  hyuh  erf,  an'  'bove  dis 
hyuh  erf,  suh,  dat  folks  doan'  know  des'  'kaze 
dey  hain'  foun'  'em  out ;  but  dat  doan'  say  dey 
ain'  so,  do  it  ?  No,  suh !  Jicketty !  Wat  a 
heap  o'  t'ings  duh  bean  w'at  folks  doan'  know ! 
An'  I  reckon  dis  hyuh  done  bean  one  of  'em. 

'Peahs  lack  my  o'l  mammy's  mammy  she  know 
ev't'ing.  She  live  down  yon  'long  de  Cape  Fair 
Rivuh  de  time  w'en  mos'  ev't'ing  mus'  bean  des' 
happ'nin',  an'  ef  she  doan'  see  'em  she  heah 
'bout  'em  w'ile  dey  bean  fresh,  an'  she  doan' 
fo'git  'em.  But  co'se  she  doan'  see  dis  hyuh 
happen,  'kaze  it  happen  w'en  de  fus'  crane,  an' 
de  fus'  wahtuh  moc'sin,  an'  de  fus'  tucky  buzza'd 
done  spreng  up,  but  she  heah  it  straight,  suh, 
an'  she  done  tell  it  straight  to  my  ol'  mammy, 
an'  my  ol'  mammy  done  tell  it  to  me. 

"  It  bean  a  monst'us  shame,"  my  ol'  mammy 
done  say,  "  de  way  de  wahtuh  moc'sin  an'  de 
tucky  buzza'd  dey  joggle  dat  po'  crane  !  Ef  I 
on'y  bean  dah,"  she  say,  "  I  bet  yo'  I  done 
scrunch  dat  moc'sin's  haid,  an'  I  des'  wring  dat 


The  Cranky  Crane.  229 

buzza'd's  neck  till  the  fedduhs  dey  fly  lack  I 
bean  a  wilecat  at  'em  !     Sho  !     Dat  monst'us  !  " 

'Peahs  lack  w'en  de  fus'  tucky  buzza'd  he 
spreng  up  he  bean  pow'ful  lonesome,  an'  he 
scrummige  roun'  to  see  ef  duh  bean  any  comp'ny 
in  dem  woods.  Bahmby  he  see  suffin'  on  de 
aidge  de  rivuh,  standin'  dah  in  de  wahtuh  on 
one  laig,  an'  dat  laig  bean  mighty  long  an'  slim. 
An'  de  suffin 's  haid  have  a  long  bill^  an'  'peahs 
lack  it  shoot  squah  outen  its  breas'.  De  suffin' 
it  look  mighty  solemn,  des'  lack  it  sorry  it  bean 
spreng  up. 

'"^  Jicketty  !  "  de  tucky  buzza'd  he  say.  ^'  Dat 
bean  a  queeuh  t'ing !  Waffo'  it  on'y  got  one 
laig  ?  An'  waffo'  it  all  huffle  up  dah^  wiv  its 
haid  stickin'  outen  it  breas'  ?  I  bet  yo'  dat  dah 
bean  a  hoppy  toad  !  I  des'  gwan  to  go  ovuh  dah 
an'  fine  out." 

An'  de  tucky  buzza'd  he  succle  ovuh  dah  an' 
light  on  a  limb  an'  look  down  on  de  suffin^  w'at 
done  puzzle  him.  De  suffin'  it  cock  its  eye  up 
at  de  buzza'd,  but  doan'  say  a  wud.  Bahmby 
de  tucky  buzza'd  he  holluh  down  an'  say  : 

"  W'at  yo'  is,  down  dah  ?  " 

'Peahs  lack  de  suffin'  it  kyine  o'  tetch}^  an'  it 
drap    anudduh    laig   w'at   bean    scrumpled    up 


230     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

'long  its  stomach,  an'  it  lift  its  haid  offen  its 
breas',  an'  it  rise  a  neck  up  till  de  suffin's  haid 
mos'  ritch  up  whah  de  tucky  buzza'd  done  sot 
on  de  limb.  De  tucky  buzza'd  he  so  'flummixed 
at  dis  hyuh  dat  he  mos'  tumble  offen  de  limb 
'fo'  he  kin  cotch  heseff,  an'  he  rise  highuh  in 
de  tree,  wid  he  eyes  a  belgin'.  De  suffin'  it 
holluh  : 

"  I'se  a  crane,  I  is  ! "  it  holluh  to  de  tucky 
buzza'd.     "  Dat's  w'at  I  is  !  " 

De  tucky  buzza'd  he  git  ovuh  he  flummix, 
an'  he  lahf,  an'  he  say  : 

''  Sho  !  "  he  say.  "  W'at  a  crackinacious  fool  I 
done  bean  !  Co'se  yo's  a  crane  !  Anybody  kin 
tell  dat,  des'  to  look  at  yo'  ! "  he  say. 

Den  de  crane  it  swoshle  down  ag'in,  wiv  its 
haid  on  its  breas',  an'  one  laig  scrumpled  up 
ag'in  its  stomach.  Den  bahmby  de  tucky  buz- 
za'd he  holluh : 

"  W'at  yo'  doin'  down  dah  ? '' 

De  crane  it  holluh  back  : 

"  Feeshin'  ! " 

Den  bahmby  de  tucky  buzza'd  he  drap  down 
on  de  groun',  but  doan'  come  very  nigh  de  crane, 
'kaze  he  ain'  des'  sahtin  'bout  it  yit,  an'  he 
say  : 


The  Cranky  Crane.  231 

"  Waffo'  yo'  feeshin'  ?  '^ 

"  'Kaze  I  "Want  my  dinnuh  ! "'  de  crane  say. 

Den  de  tucky  buzza'd  he  come  a  leetle  nighuh 
de  crane,  'kaze  he  t'ink  he  kin  do  de  crane  a 
favuh,  an'  he  face  de  crane  an'  say  : 

'^  'Peahs  lack  yo'  done  been  was'in'  yo'  time 
feeshin'  fo'  yo'  dinnuh,"  he  say.  "  Ef  yo'  des' 
come  wiv  me " 

But  all  dis  time  de  crane  it  bean  aidgin'  'way 
from  de  tucky  buzza'd,  an'  'fo'  de  buzza'd  kin 
finish  w'at  he  gwan  to  say  de  crane  bus'  out  an' 
holluh  : 

"  Phew  !  "  it  holluh.  "  Go  'way  from  hyuh  ! 
Yo'  breff  it  'nuff  to  kill  a  Peedee  nigguh  !  Whoosh! 
Go  'way,  suh !  and  teck  yo'  breff  wiv  yo' ! 
Mighty  Gabr'el ! "  de  crane  it  holluh.  "  Dat 
wuss  dan  de  plaig  of  Idjup  !  " 

Now,  dat  bean  a  solemn  fac',  suh.  Tucky 
buzza'ds'  breffs,  dey  bean  mighty  ramifyin'.  To 
dis  very  day  tucky  buzza'ds'  breffs  is  so  capa- 
cious dat  if  evuh  yo'  meet  one,  attuh  dat  bad 
aigs  dey  'peah  to  yo'  lack  honeysuckles  in  de 
gahden.  But  it  bean  mighty  onpolite  fo'  de 
crane  to  declah  it  so  monst'us  to  dat  fus'  tucky 
buzza'd,  an'  de  tucky  buzza'd  he  feel  desp'rit 
hu't  in  he  haht.     He  w^obble  away,  an'de  fudduh 


232    The   Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

he  go  de  mo'  he  feel  hu't,  till  bahmby  he  feel 
pow'ful  'dignant.  Den  he  stop  an'  brestle  up, 
an'  sheck  he  haid. 

"  Dat  spindle  shank  crane  done  cut  me  to  de 
haht!  "  he  declah.  "Dat  crane  done  insult  me 
monst'us  !  Dat  a  mo'tal  insult  !  I  boun'  to  fix 
dat  crane,  I  is  !     I  boun'  to  do  it !  " 

Den  de  tucky  buzza'd  he  t'ink  very  hahd  w'at 
he  kin  do  to  fix  dat  onpolite  crane,  an'  w'ile  he 
t'inkin'  he  heah  suffin'  say  : 

"  W'at  de  crane  done  do  to  yo',  suh  ?  " 

De  tucky  buzza'd  he  look  dat  a-way,  an'  he 
see  a  long,  slim  creatuh  stretch  on  a  rock  in  de 
rivuh.  It  so  wiggly  an'  spotty,  an'  its  eyes  dey 
shine  so  like  fiah,  an'  its  tongue  it  shoot  out  an' 
in  so  skeery,  dat  de  buzza'd  he  des'  gwan  to 
rise  an'  succle  'way  fum  dah,  w'en  de  wiggly  t'ing 
it  holluh  : 

"  Hoi'  on,  dah  !  I'se  de  wahtuh  moc'sin.  I 
ain'  gwan  to  hu't  yo' !  I  des'  lyin'  wide  aweck, 
I  is,  t'inkin'  up  how  I  kin  scarcify  dat  monst'us 
crane  ! " 

Den  de  tucky  buzza'd  he  squattle  ag'in,  an 
tell  de  wahtuh  mocsin  how  de  crane  done  give 
him  de  mo'tal  insult. 

"Poof!"    de    wahtuh    moc'sin    say.       ''Dat 


The  Cranky  Crane.  233 

nuffin'.  Dat  crane  it  done  gobble  my  nineteen 
young  uns,  so  it  do,  lack  dey  been  des  so  many 
sugah  plums  !  An'  now  de  monstuh  bean  down 
dah  feeshin",  hopin'  I  got  mo'  young  uns  to  come 
along  fo'  it  to  gobble  !  " 

Den  de  tucky  buzza'd  an'  de  wahtuh  moc'sin 
dey  'scuss  w'at  dey  kin  do,  an'  bahmby  de  tucky 
buzza'd  he  lahn  dat  de  wahtuh  moc'sin  bean  a 
snake  wiv  a  mouf  full  o'  p'ison  teef,  an'  dat  ef 
he  bite  suffin'  dat  suffin'  it  swuU  up  an'  swull  up, 
an"  bahmby  it  boun'  to  die.  An'  ef  suffin'  else  it 
eat  dat  suffin'  w'at  de  wahtuh  moc'sin  bite,  den 
de  suffin'  wa't  eat  it  done  boun'  to  die,  too.  Den 
de  tucky  buzza'd  he  get  a  idee. 

"  De  crane  it  bean  fon'  o'  feesh,  I  reckon  ?  "  he 
says    to  de  wahtuh  moc'sin. 

"  Pow'ful !  "  de  wahtuh  moc'sin  say. 

"Ef  de  feesh  dey  'peah  lack  dey  big  an'  fat, 
do  de  crane  lack  'em  den  ?  "  de  tucky  buzzaM 
say. 

"  Um-m-m-m  !  "  de  wahtuh  moc'sin  say.  ' '  Dat 
des'  w'en  de  crane  revel  in  'em  !  " 

Den  de  tucky  buzza'd  eyes  dey  glisten,  an' 
he  tell  de  wahtuh  moc'sin  w'at  dat  idee  o'  his'n 
done  bean,  an'  de  wahtuh  moc'sin  des'  wriggle 
an'  twis'  an'  hiss  an'  shoot  he  tongue. 


234     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  Mighty  Gabr'el !  "  he  holkih.  "  Dat  mon- 
st'iis  crane  nevuh  gobble  no  mo'  young  uns  o' 
mine  !  " 

"  Dat  crane  insult  my  breff ! "  de  tucky  buz- 
za'd  hoUuh,  "  I  bet  yo'  he  done  weesh  he  had 
some  of  it  heseff,  'fo'  he  many  days  olduh,  'kaze 
he  woan'  have  none  o'  he  own  !  " 

De  crane  he  done  keep  on  feeshin'  till  he  cotch 
he  dinnuh,  an'  teck  some  home  to  he  young  uns. 
Nex'  day  he  feesh  some  mo'  an'  teck  home  some 
mo' to  he  young  uns.  Den  he  feesh  ag'in.  Hestan' 
dah  on  he  one  laig,  des'  lack  he  cain't  see  nuffin, 
an'  bahmby  up  de  rivuh  he  see  de  povv'fulles', 
fattes',  w'ites'  feesh  he  evuh  do  see.  It  p'intin' 
right  fo'  him,  an'  'peahs  lack  it  been  wile  an' 
crazy,  its  eyes  dey  beige  so. 

"  Sho,"  de  crane  say  to  heseff,  "  I  bet  you  dat 
one  o'  dem  mullets  I  heah  'bout !  Um-m-m  !  I 
tase  dat  feesh  a'ready,  so  I  do  !  " 

De  feesh  it  been  a  mullet,  sho'ly,  an'  it  scrum- 
mige  right  by  de  crane.  De  crane  it  shoot 
down  its  long  neck  an'  it  cotch  dat  mullet  so 
quick  de  mullet  nevuh  know  w'at  strike  it.  De 
crane  lift  de  mullet  out  an'  frow  it  on  de  bank. 
Den  he  run  he  eyes  ovuh  de  feesh,  an'  he 
say : 


The  Cranky  Crane.  235 

"  Dat  de  fattes'  feesh  I  evuh  do  see  !  Dem 
young  uns  o'  mine  dey  have  dinnuh  'nough  des 
now.  I  guess  I  eat  dis  hyuh  feesh  my  own- 
seff." 

Dat  crane  he  doan'  see  de  tucky  buzza'd  glar- 
in'  down  at  him  fum  de  tree,  an'  he  doan'  see  de 
wahtuh  moc'sin  glarin'  at  him  fum  de  rivuh.  He 
gobble  de  fat  mullet  an'  rise  up  an'  fly  'way  home. 
Den  de  tucky  buzza'd  he  lahf  and  he  chuckle, 
an'  de  wahtuh  moc'sin  he  wiggle  an'  twis'  and 
hiss,  an'  dey  bofe  gloat  and  gloat. 

"  Did  yo'  p'ison  de  mullet  a  heap  ?  "  de  tucky 
buzza'd  he  say. 

"  Um-m-m  !  "  de  wahtuh  moc'sin  say.  "I  shove 
mo'  dan  free  toofs  full  in  him,  an'  dat  boun'  to 
kill  a  bah,  suh,  ef  he  eat  dat  mullet !  " 

De  crane  he  fly  home,  but  'fo'  he  git  dah  he 
gin  to  feel  mighty  queeuh.  Wen  he  git  dah  he 
say  to  he  fambly  : 

"  'Peahs  lack  dat  mullet  I  done  eat  doan'  'gree 
wiv  me  nohow  !  Jicketty !  It  des'  twis'n'  my 
innuds  lack  dey  tied  in  hahd  knots  !  Wow-w-w ! 
Mighty  Gabr'el !  Dat  mullet  boun'  to  tu'n  me 
inside  out,  sho'ly !" 

Den  de  crane  he  tumble  an'  flop  on  de  groun', 
an'  his  long  laigs  dey  scrumble  up  into  kinks,  he 


236    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

twine  heseff  so.  Den  he  wiggle  up  ag'in,  an'  he 
holluh  : 

"  Chillun  ! "  he  holluh.  "  Mullet  is  makin'  yo' 
po'  an'  lone  o'phans  in  dis  wide  wul'!  jMullets 
is  too  rich  fo'  cranes  !  Yo'  po'  fadduh  des'  ben 
lahnin'  dat  fo'  yo' !  Doan'  yo'  nevuh  eat  mullet, 
chillun,  an'  han'  it  down  to  yo'  chillun's  chillun 
dat  dey  mus'n'  nevuh  eat  mullets,  'kaze  'peahs 
lack  mullets  dey  tu'n  out  to  be  too  rich  fo' 
cranes  !  Tell  yo'  mudduh  so  w'en  she  git  home 
fum  feeshin'." 

An'  den  de  crane  he  tu'n  ovuh  an'  pass  away 
wivout  knowin'  dat  it  bean  a  mullet  p'isoned  by 
de  wahtuh  moc'sin  w'at  done  kill  him.  An'  co'se 
de  wahtuh  moc'sin  he  nevuh  did  tell  de  crane's 
fambly,  an'  co'se  de  tucky  buzza'd  he  nevuh  do, 
an'  dat  de  reason  why  de  crane,  down  to  dis  day, 
he  feesh  all  day,  dough  he  hongry  an'  he  fambly 
hongry,  but  he  woan't  eat  mullet.  An'  dat's  de 
reason  de  wahtuh  moc'sin  he  chase  all  d'  udduh 
feesh  'way  from  de  crane,  an'  de  tucky  buzza'd 
he  know  it,  an'  dey  bofe  chuckle  an'  gloat  'kaze 
de  crane  bean  setch  a  pummeatin'  fool ! 

Now,  suh,  I  wahn  yo' !  I  doan'  say  dat  I 
know  dese  hyuh  t'ings.  I  des'  on'y  say  dat  o' 
co'se   yo'  doan'  know  'em.     But   yo'  done   got 


The  Cranky  Crane.  237 

heaps  o'  time,  suh  !  An'  yo'  eyes  dey  des'  de 
primes'  kyine,  an'  I  reckon  yo'  heah'n  cain't  be 
beat,  suh.  'Peahs  lack  ef  I  bean  yo'  I'd  des' 
dote  on  knowin'dese  hyuh  t'ings.  I  would,  suh, 
sho'ly ! 


LITTLE  DAVY. 


LITTLE  DAVY. 


Being  the  Tale  of  a  Tar-heel  Witch  as  Handed 
Down  by  the  Black  Homer's  Old  Mammy  from 
the  Archives  of  the  McDade  McCrummons 
Family  of  Hackberry  Swamp. 

I  done  'spec'  duh  been  a  pow'ful  heap  o'  'witch- 
in'  done,  yeahs  an'  yeahs  ago,  long  'fo'  de  wah^ 
suh,  down  yon  in  de  Cape  Fair  kentry,  fum  all 
w'at  my  ol'  mammy  she  done  tell  me,  many, 
many  times.  Heaps  an'  heaps  of  it.  But  I 
doan'  'spec'  duh  evuh  bean  setch  a  desp'ut  heap 
o'  'witchin'  nowhah  roun'  dah,  suh,  as  dat  w'at 
done  happen  one  time  in  de  ol'  McDade  Mc- 
Crummons fambly,  down  yon.  Um-m-m — um  ! 
how  dat  fambly  done  been  'witched  !  Desp'utes' 
kyine,  suh  !     Desp'utes'  kyine  ! 

Duh   bean    heaps    o'   IMcCrummonses    in    dat 

kentry  w'en  dis  hyuh  done  happen,  an'  dey  all 
i6  241 


242     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

kin,  one  way  an'  'nudduh.  McDade  McCrum- 
mons  he  live  on  de  Hackberry  Swamp  plahntation, 
an'  he  bean  a  mighty  fine  man,  so  my  ol'  mam- 
my done  tell  me,  an'  huh  ol'  mammy  done  tell 
huh  so,  'kase  huh'  ol'  mammy  bean  one  o'  his 
nigguhs  one  time,  an'  she  know  all  about  it. 
Den  duh  bean  de  Muggie  McCrummons  fambly, 
w'at  live  on  de  Scrabble  Hill  plahntation,  an'  all 
duh  bean  to  dat  fambly  wuz  ol'  Muggie  an'  he 
daughtuh  Meg,  an'  dey  setch  mighty  queeuh 
folks  dat  ev'body  'roun'  dah  dey  kyine  o'  'feahd 
of  'em,  'kase  duh  done  bean  a  heap  o'  witchin' 
'roun'  dah,  an'  udduh  folks  dey  have  dey  'spi- 
cions.  Mighty  strong  'spicions,  too,  suh  ! 
Mighty  strong  !  But  fo'  all  dat,  w'at  yo'  t'ink  ? 
Meg  McCrummons  she  bean  head  an'  eahs  in 
love  wid  McDade  McCrummons,  w'en  dey  young 
folks,  an'  boun'  to  marry  him  !  Yes,  suh  !  But 
McDade  he  done  treat  huh  wid  skawn,  an'  say 
he  reckon  he  go  a  heap  fudduh  dan  Scrabble 
Hill  w'en  he  pick  out  a  wife.  An'  he  do,  too,  fo' 
w'en  hefadduh  done  die  an'  leave  him  de  Hack- 
berry  Swamp  plahntation,  bahmby  McDade  Mc- 
Crummons he  go  'way  down  de  rivuh  an'  fotch 
back  a  wife  w'at  bean  one  o'  de  Rob  McCrum- 
mons fambly,  an'  a  pow'ful  nice,  sweet  gal  she 


Little  Davy.  243 

bean,  too.  Dat's  w'at  my  ol'  mammy's  ol'  mam- 
my done  say. 

"  But,  jicketty  !  "  she  say,  w'en  McDade  he 
done  fotch  he  young  bride  to  de  plahntation. 
"  Mahs'  McDade  he  bettuh"  kip  he  top  eye  peel 
all  de  time  attuh  dis !  Dat  ^leg  McCrummons 
she  des  natch'ly  ravin'  mad,  she  is !  Ef  she 
nevuh  did  do  no  'witchin'  befo'  dis,  she  boun'  to 
try  huh  han'  one  o'dese  days,  sho's  yo'  bo'n  ! 
i\Iahs'  iMcDade  he  bean  a  mighty  happy  man 
des'  now,  but  he  bettuh  kip  he  top  eye  peel !  I 
declah  I'd  rudduh  heah  ol'  Gabr'el  blow  he 
trompet  dis  hyuh  minute  dan'  stan'  in  Mahs' 
McDade's  shoes,  fine  as  dey  is !  I  would, 
sho'ly ! " 

Dat's  w'at  my  ol'  mammy's  ol'  mammy  say, 
but  Mahs'  ]\IcDade,  he  des'  lahf  an'  say  he 
cain't  he'p  it,  an'  anyhow,  he  say,  dah  ain'  no 
use  to  kip  he  top  eye  open,  'kaze  ef  he  done 
gwan  to  be  'witched  dah  ain'  nuftin'  kin  stop  it. 
An'  so  blahs'  j\IcDade  an'  he  wife  dey  des' 
natch'ly  let  t'ings  glide  along.  An'  dey  glide 
along,  an'  dey  glide  along,  yeahs  an'  yeahs,  an' 
Meg  she  doan'  lif  huh  han'  to  hahm  Mahs' 
McDade's  fambl}',  but  she  done  git  a  pow'ful 
hahd  name  fo'  de  doin's  w'at  folks  say  she  do  do. 


244     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

or  Muggie  McCrummons  he  bean  daid  dis 
hyuh  long  time,  an'  Meg  she  live  all  by  huhsef 
on  de  Scrabble  Hill  plahntation.  De  house  it 
done  git  tumbly  an'  ricketty,  an'  de  fiel's  dey  all 
grow  up  to  tangles.  De  t'ings  w'at  my  o'  mam- 
my's ol'  mammy  say  Meg  done  do  des'  meek  me 
shedduh  an'  creep  w'en  my  ol'  mammy  done  tell 
me  'bout  'em  !  Um-m-m — um  !  de  desp'ut  t'ings 
my  ol'  mammy's  ol'  mammy  say  dat  dat  witchy 
Meg  McCrummons  done  do !  Desp'ut,  suh  ! 
*Desp'ut! 

But  she  doan'  lif  huh  han'  to  hahm  Mahs' 
McDade  an'  he  fambly,  an'  bahmby  dey  done 
fo'git  all  'bout  Meg  havin'  a  gredge  ag'in  'em. 
Yeahs  dey  glide,  an'  bahmby  Mahs'  McDade  he 
fine  dey  have  two  de  fines'  gals  in  all  dat  kentry, 
one  des'  comin'  eighteen  yeahs,  an'  t'udduh  one 
des'  comin'  sixteen. 

"  Jicketty  !  "  he  say.  "  Dem's  de  sweetes'  gals 
I  evuh  done  see  in  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  ! '' 

An  dey  bean  de  apple  of  his  eye,  suh,  an'  de 
apple  of  dey  mudduh's  eye,  but  dey  have  to  give 
one  of  'em  up,  'kaze  young  Roy  McCrummons, 
ol'  Squiah  McCrummon's  son,  w'at  own  de 
Bailey  Creek  plahntation,  he  love  huh  desp'utes' 
kyine,  an'  she  love  him,  an'  nufiin'  kin  do  but 


Little  Davy.  245 

he  mus'  have  huh,  an'  he  do.  But  dey  have  to 
Hve  on  de  Hackberry  plahntation,  Mahs' 
McDade  he  say.  He  cain't  let  he  Janey  go 
'way  fum  outen  he  sight.  So  Roy  an'  Janey 
dey  git  married,  an'  stay  on  de  Hackberry  plahn- 
tation. or  Squiah  McCrummons  he  have  a 
heap  o'  Ian'  'way  down  on  de  Pedee  somewhah, 
an'  'bout  a  yeah  attuh  young  Mahs'  Roy  an'  Janey 
bean  married  'Squiah  he  sen'  Mahs'  Roy  down 
dah  to  see  how  t'ings  done  bean  runnin'.  Roy 
he  'spec'  he  be  down  dah  'bout  a  week,  but  he 
sen'  wud  back  he  cain't  git  froo,  an'  des'  lack's 
not  he  be  down  dah  five,  six  weeks,  an',  jicketty  ! 
w^hile  he  dah,  a  baby  done  bean  bo'n  on  de  Hack- 
berry plahntation,  an'  Roy  he  bean  a  fadduh,  an' 
Mahs'  McDade  he  been  a  gran'fadduh.  I  done 
'spec'  duh  nevuh  bean  'nudduh  baby  bo'n  in  dis 
hyuh  wide  wul'  w'at  bean  setch  a  wun'ful  baby 
as  dat  dah  McDade  McCrummons's  gran'son, 
'co'din'  to  IMahs'  McDade.  But  w'en  mv  ol' 
mammy's  ol'  mammy  kim  outen  de  house  fum 
seein'  it  de  fus'  time,  she  sheck  huh  haidan'  roll 
huh  eyes  an'  say  : 

"  Sho  ! '  she  say.  '  Dat  baby  woan'  fill  a  pint 
dippuh,  it  so  pow'ful  small !  Dat's  de  teenies' 
baby  w'at  evuh  had  de  bref  o'  life  !     VVaffo'  de 


246    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

reason  ?  Des'  'kaze  IVIahs'  McDade  he  doan'  kip 
he  top  eye  peel !  I  wahn  him  'gin  Meg  McCrum- 
mons,  but  he  des'  only  laugh  !  Now  see  !  Meg 
she  only  des'  bean  layin'  low.  She  waitin'  fo' 
huh  time,  an'  now  see  !  She  des'  done  frow  a 
spell  on  dat  po'  baby,  and  stent  it !  Dat's 
w'at  she  done  do  !  An'  dat  baby  des'  natch'Iy 
boun'  to  be  a  teeny  mite  all  de  days  of  its 
life  ! " 

But  Mahs'  INIcDade  he  hoot  at  setch  a  t'ing, 
'kaze  he  say  he  doan'  see  nuffin  little  'bout  dat 
wun'ful  gran'son  o'  his'n. 

"  Little  ?  "  he  say.  "  Why,  jicketty  !  Duh  nevuh 
bean  setch  a  big  baby  as  dis  hyuh  baby  !  Nevuh  !  " 

Dat  baby  been  a  month  ol',  an'  young  Mahs' 
Roy  he  cain't  git  home  yit.  One  day  Janey  she 
says  she  gwan  to  teck  dat  baby  visitin'  ovuh  to 
de  Squiah'splahntation,  but  huh  sistuh  Betty  she 
say  'deed  she  ain't,  den  !  Dat  baby  ain't  gwan 
out  to  cotch  its  deff  o'  cold  !  No,  suh  !  An'  so 
Janey  she  go  to  Baily  Creek  alone  dat  evenin'. 
It  git  dahk,  an'  Janey  she  doan'  come  home  yit. 
Mahs'  McDade's  folks  dey  nigh  skeeuht  crazy, 
an'  Mahs'  McDade  he  scrummidge  up  to  de 
Squiah's  plantation. 

"  Whah  Janey  ?  "  he  say. 


Little  Davy.  247 

''  Janey,"  Squiah's  folks  say.  "  Why,  she  done 
staht  home  long  ago  !  '* 

Den  dey  sahch  an'  sahch,  but  dey  cain't  fine 
Janey.  De  las'  anybody  done  see  of  huh,  one  o' 
Squiah's  nigguhs  say  he  see  huh  goin'  by  de  ol' 
Muggie  iNIcCrummons  Scrabble  Hillplahntation. 

"  An',,  jicketty  !  "  he  say.  "  Ef  I  doan'  'membuh 
now  dat  iMeg  she  come  out  an'  trot  'long  behind 
huh,  \viv  huh  big  black  cat !  " 

Den  IMahs'  McDade  he  mos'  tomble  off  he 
boss. 

"  Meg  McCrummons  des'  natch 'ly  done  gone 
an'  'witch  dat  gal,  sho's  yo'  bo'n  !  "  he  holluh,  an' 
he  dash  fo'  ol'  ]\Iuggie's  plantation.  Nobody  dah, 
suh  !  De  ricketty  house  bean  empty  as  a  busted 
cow-pea  pod,  an'  dahk  as  a  runnin'  o'  tah  !  No- 
body hain't  see  Meg  attuh  Squiah's  nigguh  done 
see  huh,  an'  nobody  nevuh  did  see  huh  in  dat 
kentry  no  mo'.  Den  duh  bean  desp'ut  times  at 
IMahs'  McDade's,  suh. 

"  An'  w'en  dey  bean  wailin'  an'  tah'n  dey  hah 
mos'  oaten  dey  haids,"  my  ol'  mammy's  ol'mam- 
my  say,  ''dey  heah  some  un  laughin'  an'  yellin' 
an'  chucklin'  an'  mawkin'  in  dey  eahs,  an'  de 
squawlin'  an'  spittin'  o'  cats  !  Nobody  in  de  Ian' 
kin  evuh  do  dat  but  dat  weeked  ^^leg  McCrum- 


248     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

mons,  an'  Mahs'  ]\IcDade  he  know  it !  But  I 
done  wahn  him,  long  time  befo'  !  I  done  tell 
him  to  kip  he  top  eye  peel !  " 

Co'se  dey  sen'  wud  to  Mahs'  Roy,  down  on  de 
Peedee,  but  'fo'  he  kin  git  home  'nudduh  mons- 
t'us  ting  done  happen  to  de  fambly.  One  day 
Janey's  sistuh  Betty  she  cain't  be  foun',  and 
whahdatbaby?  Mighty  Gabr'el !  It  cain't  be 
foun'  nudduh  !  Oh,  den  duh  bean  weepin'  and 
wailin'  on  dat  plahntation  !  An'  Mahs'  McDade's 
folks  dey  done  heah  de  mawkin'  laughs  an'  yells, 
an'  de  squawlin'  an'  spittin'  o'  de  cats,  wussuh 
dan  befo'.  Wen  young  Mahs'  Roy  he  git  home 
he  sahch  dis  a-way,  dat  a-way,  high  an  low, 
ev'whah,  but  it  bean  no  use.  An  de  yeahs  dey 
glide,  but  ev'  time  Mahs'  McDade's  folks  dey 
moan  fo'  Janey  an'  Betty  an'  de  baby,  dey  done 
heah  dat  desp'ut  mawkin'  an'  gloatin'  in  dey 
eahs.  My  ol'  mammy's  ol'  mammy  she  know  all 
de  chahms  to  break  up  'witchin',  an'  she  try  'em 
all  'gin  dis  hyuh  monst'us  spell  w'at  Meg  done 
put  on  Mahs'  McDade's  fambly,  but  dey  woan' 
wuck. 

"  Meg  done  gone  an'  jine  podnuhs  wiv  ol' 
Satan,"  my  ol'  mammy's  ol'  mammy  she  say. 

'Way  down  fum  dah,  in  de  Red  Gum  kentry, 


Little  Davy.  249 

live  '  nudduh  McCrummons  fambly.  Dat  bean 
de  Angus  McCrummonses.  Dey  bean  kyine  o' 
'way-off  'lations  o'  Mahs'  McDade's,  but  doan' 
know  nuffin'  'bout  'em  only  w'at  dey  mowt  a 
heah'd,  an'  dey  doan'  heah  nuffin'  'bout  w'at  bean 
happ'nin'  'way  up  dah  on  de  Hackberry  Swamp 
plahntation.  Des'  attuh  dem  t'ings  dey  'gin  to 
happen  up  dah,  Angus  McCrummons  he  seatin' 
in  he  do'  smokin'  he  pipe  one  evenin',  an'  he 
luke  up  an'  he  see  a  mighty  queeuh  ol'  wooman 
trampin'  'long  de  road.  'Peahs  lack  she  bean 
weazen  an'  crooked,  wiv  a  pow'ful  shahp  nose, 
an'  huh  hah  it  hengin'  all  'bout  huh  face.  She 
tu'n  huh  eye  on  Angus  an'  it  snap  lack  liah.  A 
discons  'lit  young  bah  done  jog  'long  behind  de 
skeery  lookin'  ol'  wooman,  an'  Angus  he  say  de 
way  dat  po'  bah  tu'n  its  eyes  on  him  he  nevuh  do 
fo'git  to  he  dyin'  day. 

"  Dat  bah  des'  natch'ly  luke  at  me  de  plead- 
ines'  kyine,"  Angus  he  say,  "  'zac'ly  ef  it  done 
bean  baiggin'  me  to  teck  it  'way  fum  dat  ol' 
wooman  !  " 

De  ol'  wooman  have  de  young  bah  to  a  string, 
an'  a  monst'us  big  black  cat  bean  trottin'  wiv 
huh,  crookin'  its  back,  an'  swullin'  its  tail,  an' 
glarin'  an'  spittin'  at  t'ings  w'at  Angus   couldn't 


250     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

see.  De  ol'  vvooman  she  luke  so  desp'ut  witchy 
an'  spooky  dat  folks  dey  done  give  huh  an'  de 
po'  bah  an'  de  spittin'  cat  all  de  road  dey  want, 
but  dey  feel  pow'ful  sorry  fo'  de  bah.  An'  w'at 
yo'  tink  dat  creepy  ol'  wooman  done  do  ?  She 
des'  settle  down  in  de  ol'  shanty  on  de  back  aidge 
o' de  big  swamp,  w'at  nobody  hain'  bean  in  fo' 
mo'n  twenty  yeahs,  'kaze  it  ha'nted  by  de  spooks 
of  ol'  Toe  Jillson,  an'  his  wooman,  an'  his  two 
nigguhs,  a  desp'ut  hahd  lot,  w'at  bean  all  foun' 
in  de  shanty  one  mo'nin'  daid  wiv  dey  froats  cut. 
All  dem  spooks  bean  h'antin'  dat  place  ev'  sence, 
an'  cuttin'  up  setch  monst'us  didos  dat  nobody 
nevuh  kin  stay  dah  no  mo'.  An'  dah's  whah  dat 
creepy  ol'  wooman  done  settle  down  wiv  huh  cat 
an'  huh  bah !  Folks  dey  say  she  cain't  stay  dah 
long.  "  Dem  feahful  Jillson  spooks  dey  soon 
meek  huh  scrummidge  outen  dah  !  "  folks  say, 
but  w'at  yo'  t'ink  ?  Jicketty  !  She  done  skeeuh 
dem  spooks  outen  dat  shanty  'fo'  she  bean  dah 
nights  !  Oh,  she  bean  pow'ful  wdtchy,  dat  ol' 
w^ooman  !     Pow'ful,  suh  ! 

De  mail  coach  fum  Raleigh  it  run  froo  dat 
kentry  an'  fine  its  way  on  down  to  Chahls'on 
som'how.  One  evenin'  des'  a  week  attuh  de  ol' 
wooman  come  'long  dah,  de  coach  bean  late,  an' 


Little  Davy.  251 

Angus's  wife  she  desp'ut  put  out  'bout  it,  'kaze 
de  coach  it  done  rest  dahfo'  suppuh,  an' it  meek 
huh  jingle  roun'  mos'  too  lively  w'en  it  late.  She 
have  setch  a  heap  on  huh  mind  dis  hyuh  night 
dat  she  doan'  have  time  to  notice  'tickly  a  young 
gal  w'at  come  in  fum  de  coach  wiv  'nudduh  one, 
carryin'  a  teeny  baby  in  huh  ahms.  De  gal  she 
hurry  in  de  settin'  room  lack  she  'spectin'  some 
one  dah  waitin'  foh  huh.  She  doan'  see  no  one 
dah,  an'  'peahs  lack  she  mighty  s'prised  an'  dis'- 
p'inted.  She  lie  de  baby  in  a  cheeuh  an'  hurry 
out  to  missy  Angus  an'  say : 

"Whah  she  is?" 

"  Whah  who  is  ?  "  Miss  Angus  she  say,  stop- 
pin'  wiv  huh  ban's  full  o'  dishes. 

"  My  sistuh  Janey  !  "  de  young  gal  she  say, 
an'  fo'  Missy  Angus  she  dun  git  huh  breff,  she 
so  supprise,  de  gal's  face  it  git  bright  as  de  sun, 
an'  she  holluh,  "  Oh,  dah  she  is ;  I  dun  heah  huh 
shoutin'  fo'  me ! "  Den  de  young  gal  she  trip 
outen  he  house.  Missy  Angus  she  t'ink  sahtin 
de  gal  mus'  be  crazy,  but  she  have  suffin'  to  do 
'sides  runnin'  attuh  crazy  folks,  an'  she  scrum- 
mage roun'  wiv  huh  suppuh,  'kase  she  nevuh 
did  see  de  gal  lie  de  baby  in  de  settin'-room. 
Bahmby  de  suppuh  bean  eat  an'  de  coach  it  rat- 


252     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

tie  away.  It  bean  gone  a  long  time  'fo'  Missy 
Angus  she  git  time  to  go  in  de  settin'-room. 
Den  she  see  de  teeny  baby  snoozin'  dah,  an'  she 
let  a  shriek  dat  fetch  Angus  an'  he  son  Jarvy 
flyin'  in  dah  lack  dey  'spec'  de  house  afiah. 

"Wa-wa-wah  de  mattuh  ?  "  Angus  he  spluttuh. 

*^  Mattuh  ?  "  he  wife  holluh.  "  Cain't  yo'  see 
w'at  de  mattuh  ?  Dat  gal  done  gone  off  an'  fo'got 
huh  baby  !  " 

Den  de  folks  dey  sahch  ev'whah,  but  dey  cain't 
fine  de  gal.  Dey  chase  de  coach  wiv  bosses,  an' 
cotch  it,  but  de  gal  ain'  in  it  nowhah.  So  w'at 
Angus's  folks  gwan  to  do?  Dey  doan'  want  no 
mo'  chillun,  'kase  dey  got  ten  a'ready,  dough  dis 
hyuh  baby  bean  de  teenies'  mite  dey  evuh  see  or 
heah  tell  about. 

"  Duh  ain'  nuffin'  to  do,"  Missy  Angus  she 
say,  "  but  to  sen'  dis  po'  little  midget  'way 
somewhah." 

Now  it  des'  happen  dat  w'en  de  young  gal 
bean  dah  an'  say  she  lookin'  fo'  huh  sistuh, 
young  Jarvy  McCrummons  he  cotch  two,  free 
glances  of  huh  eye,  an'  dey  done  shoot  down  in 
he  boozum  deepuh  an'  sting  him  badduh  dan  he 
evuh  done  have  a  gal's  eyes  shoot  an'  sting 
befo'.     "  Dis  heah  baby  boun'  to  fotch  dat  gal 


Little  Davy.  253 

back  hyuh  some  day,"  Jarvy  he  t'ink  to  heseff, 
an'  w'en  de  mudduh  she  say  dey  have  to  sen'  de 
baby  off,  he  up  an' say  : 

"  I  reckon  yo'  woan'  do  nufHn'  o'  de  kyine, 
mudduh  !  Dat  dah  baby  done  gwan  to  stay 
right  hyuh  ! '"' 

Nobody  dey  go  'ginst  young  Mahs'  Jarvy  on 
dat  plahntation,  an'  so  de  baby  it  done  stay  right 
dah.  Two,  free  days  attuh  dat  Jarvy  bean  out 
huntin'  an'  w'en  he  kim  home  he  say : 

*'  De  witchy  woman  up  to  de  shanty  done  got 
suffin'  else  now,  'sides  de  cat  an'  de  hopeless 
young  bah.      She  got  a  w'ite  deeuh." 

An'  dat  been  pow'ful  s'prisin',  'kase  nobody 
'roun'  dat  kentry  hain't  see  a  w'ite  deeuh  fo' 
mo'n  fot'y  yeahs. 

Now  I  done  'spec'  yo'  des'  natch'ly  t'ink  I'se 
gwan  to  say  dat  de  baby  growed  up  in  dat  fam- 
bly,  but  I  ain't,  'kase  dat  baby  didn't  grow  up  at 
all,  suh  !  When  he  bean  10  yeah  ol'  he  no  big- 
guh  dan  a  free-yeah  ol'  piccaninny.  But  he 
monst'us  smaht.  Um  m-m — um  !  howsmahtdat 
mite  done  bean  !  An'  he  monst'us  queeuh. 
Wat  yo'  t'ink  ?  He  cain't  heah  nor  he  cain't  talk ! 
He  doan'  stay  wiv  Angus's  folks  only  des'  w'en 
he  feel  lack  it,  but  live  in  de  wudes,  an'  play 


254     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

wiv  bah  cubs  an'  wilecat  kittens  !  An'  he  ain't 
afeahd  o'  ol'  bahs,  neiduh ;  an'  he  fight  'em  lack 
little  David  do  big  Goliah,  wiv  rocks  an'  a  sling. 
Um-m-m — um  !  How  he  kin  frow  dem  rocks 
wiv  he  sling !  Duh  nevuh  bean  a  bullet  kin 
whizz  straigthuh  an'  sink  deepuh  dan  a  rock 
outen  dat  queeuh  little  creatuh's  sling !  He 
doan'  have  no  name  but  Davy,  an'  dough  he 
cain't  heah  nor  cain't  talk,  young  Mahs'  Jarvy 
he  done  titch  him  to  talk  on  he  finguhs,  an' w'en 
de  young  un  des'  happen  to  feel  dat  a-way,  jick- 
etty !  how  he  kin  rattle  off  de  talk!  But  he 
doan'  feel  dat  a-way  many  times.     No,  suh ! 

De  young  gal  w'at  leave  de  baby  in  de  settin' 
room  she  doan'  come  back,  but  young'  Mahs' 
Jarvy  he  kip  on  hopin',  'kaze  dat  look  she  shoot 
in  he  haht  it  done  bu'n  dah  yit.  De  ol'  witch 
wooman  she  live  right  on  in  de  shanty  wiv  huh 
cat  an'  huh  bah  an'  huh  w'ite  deeuh.  An'  po' 
Mahs'  McDade  McCrummons  an'  he  wife,  'way 
up  on  de  Hackberry  Swamp  plahntation,  dey  kip 
heah'n  de  mawkin'  an'  de  gloatin'  an'  de  cat 
squawkin'  in  dey  eahs  till  dey  weesh  dey  kin 
die.  Oh,  Meg,  she  'witch  'em  deep  !  Pow'ful 
deep  ! 

One   day  young   Mahs'   Jarvy  he   out  huntin' 


Little  Davy.  255 

in  de  wudes,  an'  he  bean  creepin'  along  sly,  w'en 
he    see   Davy  settin'  on  a  log  close   by  a  bah  ! 
Jarvy  he  know  de  bah^  'kaze  it  bean  de  ol'wiLchy 
woman's  hopeless   bah,  but  'peahs  lack  it  bean 
mighty  peeuht,  settin'  dah  by  little  Davy.     Davy 
he  bean  cuddlin'  up  close  up  to  dat  bah,  an'  'fo' 
Jarvy  he  git  he  breff  'long   come  de  w'ite  deeuh 
an'  lie  she  haid  in  Davy's  lap,  and  Davy  he  des 
frow    he    ahm     'roun'    de    w'ite    deeuh's    neck 
Bahmby  Davy  he  do  suffin'  dat  mos'  meek  Mahs 
Jarvy  drap  daid.     Davy  he  hoi'  up  he  finguhs  an 
talk  suffin'  to  de  bah,  an'  de   bah   hoi'  up  one  o 
she   claws  an'  talk  back   to    Davy  !     Yes,    suh 
Dat's  w'at  my  ol'  mammy  done   tell  me,  an'  huh 
ol'  mammy  done   tell   huh,   an'   huh  ol'  mammy 
she   livin'   dat  time   an'   know  w'at  she   tellin' ! 
Yes,  suh  !     Davy  hoi'  up  he   finguhs  an'  talk  to 
debah,  an'  de  bah  hoi'  up  one  o'  she  claws  an' 
talk  back  to  Davy.     Davy  done  been  titchin'  de 
bah  to  talk  dat  a-way,  and  de  bah  done  lahn  de 
nices'  kyine  ! 

Dat  enough  by  its  ownseff  to  mos'  meek  young 
Mahs'  Jarvy  drap  daid,  but  w'en  he  see  w'at 
Davy  an'  de  bah  talkin'  'bout,  he  des'  tink  he 
cain't  live  'nudduh  minute  ef  he  stay  dah,  an'  he 
snick  away  an'  go  home.     Den  he  lay  fo'  Davy, 


256     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

an'  w'en  Davy  done  come  home  attuh  two,  free 
days,  lookin'  lack  he  doan'  know  w'at  he  gwan 
to  do  wiv  heseff,  Mahs'  Jarvy  he  done  teck  him 
'way  off  bydeyseffs,  an'  talk  wiv  him  an'  talk  wiv 
him.  W'at  he  talk  ?  I  dunno  des'  w'at,  but 
Davy  he  very  peeuht  w'en  dey  git  froo,  an'  go 
scrummagin'  back  to  de  wudes  des'  fas'  he  little 
laigs  kin  tote  him. 

An'  w'at  young  Mahs'  Jarvy  he  do  ?  He  teck 
de  fus'  coach  w'at  gwan  up  No'th  way,  an'  he 
doan'  leave  dat  coach  till  he  git  to  Hackberry 
Swamp.  He  go  straight  fo'  McDade  McCrum- 
mon's  plahntation,  an'  he 'quiahfo' Mammy  Sue. 
Dat  dah  bean  my  ol'  mammy's  ol'  mammy. 
Mammy  Sue  she  come. 

"  Yo'  Mammy  Sue  ?"  INIahs'  Jarvy  he  'quiah. 

"  I  reckon  I  is  !  "  Mammy  Sue  she  say. 

Den  ]\[ahs'  Jarvy  he  say  he  heah  she  bean  a 
witch-spelluh,  an'  she  say  she  bean. 

"  Den  fix  me  a  bullet  made  outen  a  white  boss's 
shoe,"  Mahs'  Jarvy  he  say,  "wiv  nine  haihs  o' 
de  same  boss's  tail  mix  wiv  it." 

*'  Sho ! "  Mammy  Sue  she  say,  an'  she  luke 
skeeuht.  "  Yo'  know  w'at  yo'  done  gwan  to  do, 
suh  ? " 

"  It  done  gwan  to  be  done  in  de  dahkin'  o'  de 


Little  Davy.  257 

moon,  at  des'  de  stroke  o'  midnight !  "  Mahs' 
Jarvy  he  say. 

'"' Jicketty  !  "  Mammy  Sue  she  sa3^  "  Doan' 
yo'  know  it  mns'  be  done  wivout  powduh,  siih,  an' 
dat  a  chile  w'at  nevuh  knowed  he  fadduh  no'  he 
mudduh,  an'  w'at  nevuh  done  spick  a  wud  in  he 
life  to  a  livin'  soul,  suh,  an'  w'at  nevuh  heah  a 
livin'  soul  done  spick  to  him,  mus'  do  it  ? " 

"I  know  dat!"  Mahs'  Jarvy  he  say.  "An' 
ef  he  kill  de  black  wolf,  den  all  dem  w'at's  bean 
'witched  by  de  black  wolf  dey  done  go  free,  doan' 
dey  ? " 

,  "  Sho'ly  !  "  i\Iammy  Sue  she  say.  "  But  ef  he 
doan'  kill  de  black  wolf,  den  yo'  tu'n  to  a  wolf 
yo'  ownseif,  an'  de  black  wolf  own  yo',  and  dem 
w'at's  'witched  dey  done  be  'witched  wussuh  dan 
evuh  ?     You  want  dat  bullet  ?  " 

Mahs'  Jarvey  say  he  do,  an'  Mammy  Sue  she 
done  fix  it  fo'  him. 

"Des'  on  de  strike  o'  midnight  in  de  dahkin' 
o'  de  moon  ?  "  she  says.  "  An'  mine  yo',  suh, 
see  dat  vo'  clock  bean  rip-ht  !  " 

Den  Mahs'  Jarvy  he  go  tell  Mahs'  AIcDade's 
folks  who  he  done  bean,  an'  meek  'em  declah  dey 
sho'ly  come  dov/n  to  Red  Gum  plahntation  on  a 
visit    to  de    Angus    McCrummons   fambly    nex' 


258     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

week.  Den  away  he  scrummage  fo'  home,  an' 
nex'  week,  sho's  yo'  bo'n,  Mahs'  McDade  an'  he 
wife,  an'  Alahs'  Roy  McCrummons,  w'at  hain't 
hed  no  wife  no'  chillun  sence  oV  Meg  McCrum- 
mons done  witch  'em,  dey  all  come  to  de  Red 
Gum  plahntation  to  visit  de  'lations  w'at  dey 
hain't  nevuh  see  befo'.  An'  dat  very  night  de 
mawkin'  lahfs  an'  de  spittin'  an'  squawlin'  cats 
dey  hoUuh  in  po'  Mahs'  McDade's  eahs  an'  in 
he  wife's  eahs  wussuh  dan  evuh.  Young  Mahs' 
Angus  he  teck  Mahs'  Roy  out  walkin'  an'  walk 
him  up  in  de  wudes. 

"Now,"  he  say,  ''  I  done  'spec  yo'  gwan  to  see 
sufhn'  pow'ful  queeuh.  Ef  yo'  see  it  and  heah 
it,  des'  doan'  say  a  wud,  an'  w'en  de  strike  o' 
midnight  done  come,  if  yo'  ain'  glad  yo'  bean 
hyuh,  den  yo'  name  been  suffin'  sides  'McCrum- 
mons ! " 

It  been  nigh  de  strike  o'  midnight  w'en  young 
Mahs'  Jarvy  he  stop.  De  stahs  dey  shine  mighty 
bright,  an'  dey  kin  see  mos'  lack  day  out  in  a  big 
open  hoUuh.  Den  dey  heah  monst'us  soun'  in 
de  night,  an'  dey  straitch  dey  necks  an'  w'at  yo' 
tink  dey  see  ?  A  bah  an'  a  w'ite  deeuh,  fus'  one 
an'  den  t'udduh  one,  bein'  swashed  an'  bit  an' 
clawed  by  a  pow'ful  big  black  wolf.     De  black 


Little  Davy.  259 

wolf  it  yell  an'  shriek  an'  lahf^  an'  a  big  black 
cat  it  tread  roun'  wiv  glaring  eyes  an'  its  back 
crooked,  an'  its  tail  all  swuU  up,  an'  de  cat  a 
squawlin'  an'  spittin'  till  Mahs'  Roy's  hah  it  rise 
up  to  de  top  o'  he  hat. 

*' Mighty  Gabr'el!"  he  whispuh  to  Mahs' 
Jarvy.  "  Dis  hyuh  bean  w'at  fadduh  an'  mud- 
duh  dey  done  heah  in  dey  eahs  mos'  ev'ry 
night!" 

Den  bahmby  it  bean  des'  on  de  strike  o'  mid- 
night, an'  a  teeny  mite  of  a  chap  he  step  out,  an' 
whang !  sing  a  sling  he  woosh  roun'.  Ef  duh 
bean  yells  befo',  dey  bean  only  music  to  de  yells 
w'at  dat  black  wolf  holluh  w'en  dat  slins:  done 
twang!  But  it  des'  holluh  one  yell,  an'  jomp  up 
high,  an'  den  straitch  on  de  ground  dead  as  de 
rock  w'at  glide  fum  dat  sling  an'  sink  in  de 
wolf's  haid  !  De  black  cat  it  scampuh  'way  fum 
dah,  squawlin'  lack  it  been  tetch  by  fiah.  An' 
w'at  yo'  t'ink  happen  den  ?  Dat  bah  it  doan'  be 
a  bah  no  mo',  an'  de  w'ite  deeuh  it  doan'  be  a 
w'ite  deeuh  no  mo'  !  Wat  dey  bean  ?  De  bah 
done  bean  Janey  standin'  dah,  and  de  w'ite 
deeuh  it  done  bean  huh  sistuh  Betty  !  An'whah 
de  midget?  De  midget  done  bean  little  Davy 
an'  he  stan'  dah  de  midget  yit,  but  he  tu'n  an'  he 


26o     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

holluh  to  Mahs'  Roy,  des'  lack  he  bean  talkin' 
all  de  days  : 

*'  Dab,  fadduh  !  "  he  holluh.  "  Hyuh  I  is,  an' 
dah  my  mudduh,  an'  dah  my  Aunt  Betty,  an'  dah 
de  black  wolf  w'at  done  bean  Meg  McCrum- 
mons  ! " 

Co'se  dull  bean  a  tetchin'  time,  suh,  up  dah 
in  de  wudes,  w'en  all  dis  hyuh  happen,  an'  dull 
bean  a  tetchinuh  time  yit  w'en  dey  all  git  down 
to  de  Red  Gum  plahntation  an'  s'prise  de  folks. 
An'  ]\Iahs'  INIcDade  ]\IcCrummons  an'  he  wife 
deynevuh  do  heah  dem  mawkin's  an'  gloatin's 
an'  squawlin'  in  dey  eahs  no  mo'.  An'  co'se 
Mahs'  Jarvy  he  done  meek  Aunt  Betty  he  wife. 
Little  Mahs'  Davy?  He  done  grow  to  a  big 
man  attuh  dat,  an'  he  de  fadduh  an'  de  gran'- 
fadduh  an'  de  great-gran'fadduh  o'  mos'  all  de 
McCrummonses  duh  is  down  yon  'longde  Cape 
Fair  Rivuh  to  dis  hyuh  day,  suh!  Yes,  suh ! 
Dat  a  fac' ! 


HEADLESS  GHOST  THAT 
WALKED  WITH   A  CRUTCH. 


HEADLESS  GHOST  THAT  WALKED 
WITH  A  CRUTCH. 


Also  Another  Odd  Spook  that  the  Black  Homer 
Recollects  as  Having  Made  a  Stir  One  Time  in 
the  Cape  Fear  Countr}'. 

I  RECKON  duh  doan'  be  setch  t'ings  as  ha'nts  no 

mo',  'kaze  it  bean  a  long  time  since  I  done  heah 

tell  o'  one.     But,  jicketty  !     Duh  mowt  be  oodles 

o'   ha'nts     skrimmidgin'   'roun'   de   kentry  an'  I 

wouldn't  nevuh  heah  'bout  'em.      I   doan'  heah 

much  about  nuffin  sence  I  doan'  live  down  Cape 

Fair  way  no  mo'.     Yo'   dunno   w'at    ha'nts    is? 

Jicketty  !     Ha'nts  done  been  daid   folks.     Some 

of  'em  been  daid  folks  w'at  done  skittuh  back  to 

dis    hyuh  erf  an'   doan'  show  deyseffs,  but    dey 

folks  know   dey  done  been  hyuh,  'kaze  dey  do 

t'ings  dey  done  do  w'en  dey  in  de  flaish.      Dat 

bean  de  kyine  o'  ha'nt  Joe  Peery  tu'n  heself  into, 

down  yon  in  de  Cape  Fair  kentry,  long  'fo'  de 

wah, 

263 


264     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

Joe  Peery  he  been  a  blacksmiff  down  dah,  an' 
one  day  he  up  an'  die ;  and  he  done  die  so  sed- 
den,  suh,  dat  he  go  'way  an'  leave  a  heap  o' 
wuck  dat  ain'  been  finish.  Dat  t'ing  prey  so 
desp'rit  hahd  on  Joe  attuh  he  daid  dat  he  cain't 
Stan'  itj  an'  de  fus'  t'ing  anybody  know,  dey  heah, 
'long  in  de  night  time,  Joe's  anvil  clingy-te-clang  ! 
clingy-te-clang !  ringin' in  de  ol'  shop;  an'  de 
bellus  it  blow  an'  de  spahks  dey  fly,  des'  de  way 
dey  done  do  w'en  Joe  bean  dah  in  de  flaish, 
whangin'  away  wiv  he  shiny  hammuh. 

''  Mighty  Gabr'el !  "  folks  dey  say.  "  Joe  Peery's 
ha'nt  done  come  back  to  finish  up  dat  wuck  he 
done  leave,  sho's  yo'  bo'n  ! " 

Nobody  nevuh  do  see  dat  ha'nt,  but  doan' 
Miss'  Scoles  fine  huh  fryin'  pan  in  Joe's  shop, 
wiv  de  handle  all  fix  on,  w'at  she  done  leave  dah 
to  be  fix  des'  'fo'  Joe  up  an'  die  an'  leave  it  wiv- 
out  fixin'  ?  Co'se  she  do  ?  Doan'  Big  'Leazuh, 
fum  de  Ray  plantation,  teck  a  wagon  w-heel  down 
fo'  Joe  to  sot  de  tiah  on  it,  an'  doan'  Joe  up  an' 
die  'fo'  he  kin  tetch  it  ?  He  do.  But  doan'  Big 
'Leazuh  fine  dat  wheel  in  de  shop,  wiv  de  tiah  all 
sot,  des'  lack  nobody  but  Joe  Peery  kin  set  a 
tiah?  He  do.  And  Mahs' McKeevuh— w'at  he 
done   do  ?     Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  have  de   mos' 


Headless  Ghost.  265 

monst'uses'  kickin'  boss  w'at  evuh  fling  its  heels 
to'ds  de  sky  in  allde  Cape  Fair  kentry.  But  it 
bean  a  pow'ful  good  lioss,  an'  Mahs'  McKeevuh 
he  done  t'ink  de  wul'  of  it.  Nobody  kin  clap  a 
shoe  on  dat  boss  'cept  Joe  Peery,  an'  w'en  Joe 
he  up  an'  die  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  feel  desp'rit, 
'kaze  w'at  he  gwan  to  do  wiv  dat  kickin'  boss 
w'en  he  mus'  have  shoes  sot  on  him  ?  Dat 
'scoriate  Mahsuh  pow'fulles'  kyine,  an'  he  des' 
gwan  to  get  shet  o'  de  boss  w'en  he  beah  'bout 
Joe  Peery's  ha'nt  skittuhn  back  to  he  shop  to 
finish  de  wuck  Joe  done  leave,  time  he  done 
depaht  fum  the  flaish. 

"  Jicketty  !  "  Mahs'  McKeevuh  be  say.  "  Ef 
dat  bean  Joe  Peery's  ha'nt,  it  boun'  to  shoe  dis 
hyuh  boss  o'  mine,  sbo'ly !  " 

An'  he  sen'  de  boss  out  to  Joe's  shop  an'  shet 
it  in  dab  dat  very  night,  an' folks  w'at  live  roun' 
dab  dey  declah  dey  beah  de  anvil  whangin'  an' 
ringin',  an'  de  bellus  blowin'  lack  dey  nevuh  do 
beah  'em  befo',  an'  see  de  spahks  flyin'  lack  de 
ol'  shop  des'  natcb'ly  bean  on  fiah  !  An'  de  way 
Mahs'  McKeevuh's  boss  did  kick  an'  plenge  an' 
stomp  on  de  flo',  dey  nevuh  did  beah  de  lack  of 
it  sence  Joe  done  shoe  dat  boss  befo'  he  up  an' 
die.      An'  dey  declah  dey  beah  dat  ha'nt  cussin' 


266    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

dat  boss  up  an'  down,  des'  lack  Joe  Peery  done 
cuss  it  time  he  shoe  de  boss  while  he  doin'  it  in 
de  flaish  !  An'  w'en  Mahs'  McKeevuh  git  de  hoss 
nex'  mo'nin',  dah  he  bean,  shod  new  all  'round, 
suh,  des'  lack  nobody  in  de  wul'  kin  shoe  him 
'cept  Joe  Peevy ! 

Bahmby  Joe's  ha'nt  it  done  finish  up  all  dat 
wuck  Joe  leave  w'en  he  quit  des'  hyuh  vale  o' 
teahs,  an'  den  de  ha'nt  it  doan'  come  back  no 
mo'.  But  bahmby  Mahs'  McKeevuh's  hoss  it 
mus'  be  shod  ag'in,  an'  Mahsuh  he  mighty  pup- 
plex  in  he  mine. 

''  I  t'ink  I  put  de  hoss  in  de  shop,  anyhow," 
he  say,  "  but  I  doan'  'spec'  Joe's  ha'nt  done 
gwan  to  skittuh  back  hyuh  des'  to  do  a  job  o' 
shoein'." 

Mahs'  McKeevuh  put  de  hoss  in  de  shop  dat 
night,  an'  sho's  yo'  bo'n,  suh,  Joe's  ha'nt  done 
come  an'  do  de  job  !  An'  it  come  back  an'  shoe 
dat  hoss  ev'  time  it  done  need  shoein',  an'  w'en 
dat  hoss  up  an'  die  attuh  w'ile,  I  declah  ef  it 
didn't  have  a  ha'nt  its  ownseff,  suh,  w'at  done 
come  back  to  de  shop  to  git  shod,  an'  Joe  Peery's 
ha'nt  it  done  come  back  an'  do  de  shoein',  'kaze 
de  folks  dey  heah  de  kickin'  an'  de  thumpin', 
an'  de  clingin'  an'  de  clangin',  an'  de  cussin'  an' 


Headless  Ghost.  267 

de  swah'n^  des'  lack  it  all  bean  w'en  de  boss  an' 
Joe  Peery  bofe  bean  dah  in  de  flaish  !  Dese 
hyuh  queeuh  doin's  dey  bean  goin'  on  to  dis  day, 
I  reckon,  ef  dat  ol'  shop  it  doan'  cotch  fiah  bahm- 
by  an'  bu'n  to  de  groun',  so  dem  dah  two  ha'nts 
dey  hain'  got  no  place  to  come  back  to  no  mo'. 
Now,  ain'  dat  pow'ful  queeuh,  suh  ?  Do  yo' 
evuh  heah  anyt'ing  des'  lack  dat  dah,  in  all  yo' 
bo'n  days } 

Den  one  time  Mahs'  IMcKeevuh  he  have  some 
business  long  way  down  de  rivuh,  an'  night  it 
come  drappin'  down  'fo'  he  ritch  de  place  whah 
he  gwan  to.  But  de  moon  it  shinin'  bright  as 
day.  ]\Iahs'  ^IcKeevuh  he  joggin'  'long  on  he 
boss,  w'en  a  man  rise  up  by  de  side  de  road, 
des'  lack  he  done  grow  outen  de  groun'.  Fus' 
t'ing  blahs'  McKeevuh  notice  bean  dat  de  man 
doan'  have  but  one  laig,  an'  dat  he  hump  'long 
wiv  a  cretch.  He  hobble  'long  by  de  boss,  an' 
'peahs  lack  he  lookin'  fo'  suffin'  he  done  lose. 
Mahs'  ^IcKeevuh  he  pull  up  he  boss,  an'  he 
des'  gwan  to  ax  de  man  w'at  he  lookin'  fo', 
w'en  he  see  suffin'  dat  joggle  him  so  dat  he  mos' 
tumble  outen  he  saddle.  De  man  wiv  only  one 
laiof  an'  de  cretch  doan'  have  no  haid  !  He  haid 
done  gone  clean  down  to  he  shoulduhs,  an'  den 


268    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

Mahs'  ]\IcKeevuh  see  dat  it  doan'  be  no  man  at 
all  w'at  stiimpin'  'long  wivout  no  haid,  lookin' 
fo'  suffin'.  It  bean  a  ha  nt  !  Mahs'  McKeevuh 
he  feel  heseff  tu'n  white.  Den  he  feel  heseff 
tu'n  red.  Den  he  tu'n  hot.  Den  he  tu'n  cold. 
Den  he   fine  he  tongue,   an'   he  hoUuh  : 

"  flighty  Gabr'el !  "  An'  he  sock  he  heel  in 
he  hoss  an'  fly  from  dah  des'  lack  he  have 
wings. 

Yo'  declah  yo^  ain'  timidatious,  suh,  but  I  bet 
ef  yo'  done  see  dat  han't  yo'  bean  skeeuht  des' 
lack  Mahs'  McKeevuh  bean,  an'  flyfum  dah  des' 
lack  he  do.  Des'  yo'  t'ink  of  a  ha'nt  wiv  only 
one  laig,  hobblin'  froo  de  Ian'  on  a  cretch,  look- 
m'  fo'  suffin'  wiv  no  haid  on  its  shoulduhs  to 
look  wiv !  Jicketty !  I  reckon  dat  boun'  to 
skeeuh  mos'  any  man,  an'  Mahs'  IMcKeevuh  he 
nevuh  pull  a  rein  till  he  ritch  a  house,  two  miles 
from  whah  he  see  dat  monst'us  ha'nt.  He 
tumble  outen  he  saddle,  an'  a  man  come  from 
de  house  to  meet  him.  Wen  de  man  look  at 
Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  rise  he  ban's  an'  heholluh  : 

"  Good  Lo'd  !  "  he  holluh.  "  Yo'  done  see  it, 
suh,  sho's  vou'  bo'n  !  " 

Mahs'  McKeevuh  be  all  twimbly  yit,  an'  he 
sav  :  "  I  done  see  w'at,  suh  1 " 


Headless  Ghost.  269 

"  De  one-laigged  ha'nt  wivout  any  haid,  walk- 
in'  wiv  a  cretch  !  "  de  man  he  say. 

An'  jNIahs'  McKeevuh  he  say  yes,  he  guess  he 
done  do  so  see  it,  sho'lv.  Den  de  man  he  teck 
mahsuh  in  de  house  and  staidy  he  nuvs  wiv 
some  peach  an'  hone}-,  an'  he  tell  de  mahsuh 
dat  ha'nt  been  skrimmidgin'  roun'  dah  fo'  six 
months.  It  bean  de  ha'nt  of  a  man  w'at  done 
been  cotch  in  a  steamboat  'splosion  on  de  rivuh 
down  dah,  an'  w'at  bean  pick  up  on  de  bank 
wiv  he  haid  gone  an'  one  laig  off.  Dey  fine  de 
man's  laig,  but  dey  doan'  fine  he  haid.  De  man 
come  fum  down  in  de  Peedee  kentry,  an'  dey 
done  sen'  w'at  dey  kin  fine  of  'im  back  whah  he 
come  fum. 

"  Des'  'bout  a  week  attuh  dat,"  so  dis  hyuh 
man  saytoMahs'  ?\IcKeevuh,  "we  git  a  slashin' 
rain,  an'  de  little  creek  w'at  shies  'cross  de  road 
down  yon  whah  de  ha'nt  done  rise  up  befo'  yo' 
it  swull  up  right  smaht  an'  resh  down  outen  de 
swamp,  fetchun'  oodles  o'  rebbish  wiv  it.  Tvly 
black  boy  Jim  he  bean  comin'  'long  de  road 
down  dah,  an'  de  fus'  t'ing  I  know  I  see  Jim 
flyin'  back  dis  way,  lack  ol'  Satan  at  he  heels, 
an'  w'en  he  o'it  hvuh  I  declah  ef  he  ain'  mos' 
tu'n  w'ite ! 


270  The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 


'(( ( 


Mahs'  Simms ! '  he  holluh,  '  de  po'  man's 
lost  haid  it  bean  layin'  by  de  road  down  yon  in 
de  holluh !  De  creek  done  fotch  it  outen  de 
swamp ! ' 

"  Den  dat  boy  Jim  he  drap  lack  he  daid,  and 
I  bet  yo'  I  was'e  mo'n  a  pint  o'  good  peach 'fo'  I 
git  him  fotch  to  ag'in. " 

''VVhah  dat  haid?''  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  ask 
de  man. 

"  Oh,  we  go  down  dah  an'  teck  it  away,"  de 
man  say. 

"Wat  yo'  done  do  wiv  it?"  mahsuh  he 
ask. 

"  We  dig  a  hole  up  on  de  hill  yon.  an'  plahnt  de 
haid  in  it,  suh,"  de  man  say.  "An'  den  de 
ha'nt  wiv  one  laig  an'  no  haid,  stumpin'  'long  on 
a  cretch,  it  done  'peah  down  dah  in  de  holluh 
whah  we  fine  de  haid,  and  dah  it  bean  skrimmidg- 
in'  nights  ev'  sence,  suh." 

Den  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  git  monst'us  mad, 
an'  he  swah  pow'ful,  an'  declah  to  de  man  dat 
dey  bean  a  swaddlin'  o'  fools  'round  dah,  an' 
doan'  know  nuffin'. 

"  Cain't  yo'  see  w'at  done  bean  preyin'  on  dat 
po'  ha'nt's  mind  ?  "  he  say  to  de  man.  "  Dat  po' 
ha'nt  des'  natch'ly  lookin'  fo'  it's    haid,   an'  it 


Headless  Ghost.  271 

woan'  nevuh  git  no  rest  till  it  done  fine  it 
neiduh  !  " 

An'  nex'  mo'nin'  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  go  an' 
he  dig  up  dat  haid,  an'  it  bean  all  tu'n  to  nuffin' 
but  a  skeleton  den. 

"  But  dat  doan'  meek  no  diff'ence,"de  mahsuh 
he  say.  "  It  bean  dat  ha'nt's  haid,  des'  de  same, 
an'  de  ha'nt  done  gwan  to  have  it,  too  ! " 

Wen  night  come  ag'in,  Mahs'  McKeevuh  he 
teck  de  haid  down  to  de  holluh  whah  de  ha'nt 
done  rise  up  an'  mos'  joggle  him,  an'  he  lie  it  on 
a  stump.  De  moon  it  bean  bright  as  day,  an' 
mahsuh  he  scrootch  down  'hind  a  bush  to  see 
w'at  gwan  to  happen  nex'.  Bahmby  he  see  de 
ha'nt  come  stumpin'  'long  on  its  cretch,  lookin' 
fo'  suffin'  des'  as  plain  as  day,  wivout  no  haid 
on  its  shoulduhs.  It  come  along  dah,  an'  it 
hobble  to  de  stump  an'  see  de  haid  lyin'  dah. 
De  ha'nt  des'  give  one  jump  an'  snatch  de 
haid,  an'  flop  about  an'  stump  back  de  way  it 
come  fum,  an'  went  out  o'  sight,  Mahs'  McKee- 
vuh say,  des'  lack  a  candle  w'at  been  snuff  out 
by  de  wind ! 

"  As  de  ha'nt  done  scuffle  by  whah  I  bean 
scrootched  'hind  de  bush,"  Mahs'  McKeevuh 
say,   "it  had  de  haid  unduh    its  ahm,   and  de 


272     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtovvn. 

haid  bean  smilin'  all  ovuh  it's  face,  des'  lack  it 
mos'  tickle  to  deff !  " 

An'  dey  nevuh  did  see  dat  ha'nt  no  mo'. 
Mahs'  McKeevuh  he  know,  o'  co'se,  waffo'  de 
ha'nt  doan'  have  no  haid  an'  des'  one  laig, 
but  one  t'ing  'bout  it  done  puzzle  mahsuh  to 
he  dyin'  day. 

"Rosybell,"  he  done  say  to  my  ol'  mammy, 
many,  many  times,  "whah  in  de  wide  wul'  do 
yo'  spec'  dat  ha'nt  done  git  dat  dah  cretch  ?  " 

An'  Rosybell  she  nevuh  could  say,  suh. 
Nevuh  I 


SNUFFY  SAM'S  KINGDOM. 


i8 


SNUFFY  SAM'S  KINGDOM. 


The  Account  of  Snuffy's  Smartness  and  the  Way 
he  was  Cheated  by  a  Pirate  and  Helped  by  a 
Big  Bird,  as  Given  to  the  Black  Homer  by  his 
Mammy. 

One  t'ing  been  stickin'  in  my  crap,  stickin'  in 
my  crap,  an'  stickin'  in  my  crap,  ev'  sence  de 
wah,  suh,  an'  long  befo'  de  wall,  too,  an'  I  cain't 
git  it  out,  no  way  I  kin  fix  it.  I  des'  gwan  to 
tell  yo'  'bout  dat,  suh,  an'  I  bet  ef  yo'  doan'  say 
dat  ottuh  stick  in  my  crap  den  yo'  mus'  t'ink  I 
got  a  pow'ful  big  crap,  suh.  But  mebbe  yo'  done 
heah  'bout  Mahs'  Angus's  nigsfuh,  Snuffy  Sam, 
'long  'fo'  dis  time  ?  No  ?  Jicketty  !  'Peahs  lack 
dat  bean  mighty  queeuh,  too  !  I  'spec'  folks  dey 
doan'  t'ink  to  tell  yo'  'bout  him — but  den  I 
dunno  'bout  dat,  neiduh.  I  reckon  folks  'roun' 
hyuh  dey  doan'  know  much  'bout  de  Cape  Fair 
kentry.     Sho  !     Co'se  dey  doan' !     Folks  'roun* 

275 


^ 


276     The,  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

in  dis  hyuh  piney  woods  kentry  dey  doan'  know 
much  'bout  nuffin'  ! 

Mahs'  Angus  he  live  down  yon  in  de  Cape 
Fair  kentry,  an'  his  plahntation  it  jine  on  to  Mahs' 
McKeevuh's,  an'  dat  de  way  my  ol'  mammy  she 
know  'bout  Snuffy  Sam,  an'  co'se  she  done  tell 
me  'bout  it  many  an'  many  a  time  ;  but  des'  de 
same  dat  one  t'ing  it  stick  in  my  crap.  Snuffy 
Sam  he  b'long  on  de  Angus  plahntation,  an'  he 
mighty  sly  coon,  I  tell  yo',  suh  !  Jicketty  !  He 
monst'us  sly,  dat  Snuffy  Sam  done  bean  !  Mahs' 
Angus  done  git  him  'way  down  in  N'oleens,  or 
summuh  down  dat  a-way.  'Peahs  lack  Sam  he 
puffec'ly  satisfy  wiv  Mahs'  Angus,  an'  Mahs' 
Angus  he  t'ink  Sam  des'  de  succombobbles' 
nigguh  'long  de  ol'  Cape  Fair. 

"  Mahs'  Angus  he  des'  natch'ly  done  meek  a 
fool  o'  hese'ff  ovuh  dat  Snuffy  Sam,"  my  ol' 
mammy  she  say,  "  an'  it  a  heaven-bo'n  wonduh  of 
de  skies,"  she  say,  "  dat  Sam  he  doan'  cut  sticks 
an'  sheck  de  mud  o'  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  off  he 
heels  long  'fo'  he  done  did  do  it,  depow'ful  heap 
o'  chances  w'at  he  mahsuh  give  him." 

Dat  w'at. my  ol'  mammy  she  done  declah,  but 
Sam  he  bean  on  de  plahntation  mo'n  a  yeah, 
chippuh  an'  peeuht  as  kin  be,  an'  if  anybody  had 


Snuffy  Sam's  Kingdom.         277 

des'  meek  a  little  whispuh  dat  dey  done  t'inkdat 
nigguh  gwan  to  run  away  some  day,  folks  des' 
natch'ly  set  dat  pusson  down  as  crazy — crazy  as 
a  mullet  w'at  bean  fool  enough  to  suck  in  de 
doughball  wiv  de  jimson-weed  p'ison  seeds  mash 
up  in  it,  an'  dat  bean  de  crazies'  t'ing  w'at  evuh 
bean  seen  in  de  wahtuh,  or  on  de  Ian'  below  or 
in  de  sky  above,  suh  !  But  one  mo'nin'  Mahs' 
Angus  he  go  down  to  de  co'nfiel',  an'  peah's 
lack  he  ain'  feelin'  des'  sahtin  in  he  mind. 

"Whah  Snuffy  Sam  }  "  he  done  inquiah. 

De  dahkies  dey  all  do  declah  dey  hain'  see 
Snuffy  Sam  not  sence  he  t'un  in  las'  night. 

Den  i\Iahs'  Angus  he  skrimmidge  back  to  de 
house,  an'  w'en  he  done  git  dah  de  women  folks 
dey  all  bean  combobbullated  woful,  an'  de  young 
Missy's  gal,  Teety,  she  des'  bout  cryin'  de  eyes 
outen  huh  haid. 

"  Waffo'  dat  wuffless  wench  done  belluh'n  so  .?  " 
IMahs'  Angus  he  holluh.  "  Huh  mammy  done 
gone  daid  ?  " 

"No,  suh,"  de  young  Missy  she  whimpuh. 
"  Some  un  done  stole  Teety's  neck  beads  !  Dat's 
w'at  some  un  done  do  !  "  she  whimpuh. 

"Whah  Snuffy  Sam?"  Mahs'  Angus  he 
cry. 


278     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

Nobody  dey  doan'  know  whah  Snuffy  Sam 
bean.  Dey  hain'  seen  Snuffy  Sam  sence  he  done 
t'un  in  las'  night. 

Den  Mahs'  Angus  he  cletch  he  haid  an'  hoUuh : 

*'  Mighty  Gabr'el !  Dat  crantorious  nigguh 
he  done  pull  de  wool  ovuh  my  eyes,  sho's  I 
bean  bo'n  !  " 

Den  de  women  folks  dey  all  combobbullated 
mo'  an'  mo',  'kaze  now  dey  know  dat  Snuffy 
Sam  done  stole  Teety's  neck-beads,  w'at  de 
young  Missy  done  fotch  huh  'way  fum  N'oleens, 
Time  Mahs'  Angus  done  fotch  Snuffy  Sam  to 
de  plahntation.  Snuffy  Sam  done  stole  de  beads 
an'  skuffle  'way  fum  Mahs'  Angus,  sho'ly ! 
'Sides  dat,  Mahs'  Angus's  canoe  it  cain't  be  foun', 
neiduh.  'Peahs  lack  dat  runaway  nigguh  he 
ain'  gwan  to  meek  he  feet  so'  sheckin'  de  mud 
o'  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  offen  'em,  an'  he  des'  done 
sail  away  in  Mahs'  Angus's  canoe  !  Jicketty ! 
Dat  bean  a  monst'us  sly  coon,  dat  Snuffy  Sam, 
suh  !  Monst'us  sly  !  But  whah  he  done  gone  ? 
Dey  cain't  fine  out.  Dey  chase  down  de  rivuh, 
miles  an'  miles,  but  dey  cain't  git  on  dat  nigguh's 
track  nowhah,  an'  dey  have  to  give  it  up.  My 
ol'  mammy  say  dat  she  heah  Mahs'  McKeevuh 
say  dat  in  all  he  life  he  nevuh  did  heah  a  man 


Snuffy  Sam's  Kingdom.        279 

swah  so  monst'us  sulphumerous  as  Mahs'  Angus 
swah  w'en  he  have  to  give  up  chasin'  Snuffy 
Sam,  and  Mahs'  IMcKeevuh  bean  a  man  w'at  had 
a  pow'ful  gift  fo'  swah'n',  he  ownse'ff.  I  done 
heah  dat  man  commune  wiv  he  tempuh  some- 
times till  I  glance  up  in  de  sky  an'  t'ink  dat  ef 
de  showuh  o'  brimstone  evuh  do  be  comin'  it 
sahtin'ly  mus'  be  on  de  way  des'  den.  Mahs' 
McKeevuh  sahtin'ly  do  have  a  pow'ful  gift  dat 
a-way,  but  he  declah,  so  my  ol'  mammy  done 
say,  dat  he  nevuh  did  heah  a  man  swah 
so  monst'us  sulphumerous  as  IMahs'  Angus 
done  do  w'en  he  have  to  give  up  chasin'  Snuffy 
Sam. 

Dis  hyuh  happen  des'  befo'  de  shuckin'  o'  de 
co'n,  an'  two,  free  weeks  attuh  de  co'n  bean 
shuck,  des'  about  dusk  time  one  evenin',  my  ol' 
mammy  she  settin'  in  de  cabin  all  alone,  an'  she 
heah  tap,  tap,  tap,  on  de  do'  jam.  She  look  up, 
an'  den  she  mos'  drap  daid  whah  she  sot,  'kaze 
dah  at  the  do'  stood  suffin'  long  an'  slim  an' 
bony,  wiv  its  eyes  sonk  'way  back  in  its  haid  ! 
It  riz  a  skinny  han',  an'  it  look  at  my  ol'  mammy 
an'  say,  kyine  o'  low  lack : 

''Sh-h-h-h!" 

IMamrny  she  done  'spec'  huh  time  bean  come, 


28o    The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

but  she  ain'  gwan   to  go  wivout  a   wud,  an'  so 
she  say  : 

*'W'at  unduh   de  gleamin'  sky  an'  glittuh'n 
stahs  yo'  done  do  in  de  flaish  dat  yo'  cain't  res' 
in  yo'  grave  ?  " 

*'Sh-h-h-h!"  dat  skinny  an'  bony  suffin' 
whispuh.  "  I'se  in  de  flaish  now,  so  I  is  ! 
Rosybell,  doan'  yo'  know  me  ?  " 

When  dat  suffin'  done  whispuh  huh  name  dat 
a-way,  my  ol'  mammy  she  jump  mos'  outen  huh 
skin,  but  dat  minute  she  git  ovuh  huh  skeeuh 
an'  she  say : 

'*  I  doan'  know  yo'  !  "  she  say,  "  but  ef  yo' 
bean  in  de  flaish  I  doan'  see  whah  yo'  done  tote 
'it !    I  doan'  see  nuffin'  but  skin  an'  bones  !  " 

"  Sh-h-h-h  !  ''  de  suffin'  whispuh  some  mo'. 
"  Rosybell,  I  bean  Snuffy  Sam  !  " 

My  ol'  mammy  she  spreng  to  huh  feet 
an"  cletch  dat  suffin'  by  its  shoulduh  an'  tu'n  its 
haid  to  de  do'.  Sho's  yo'  bo'n,  suh,  it  bean 
Snuffy  Sam,  all  shronk  an'  sonk  an'  rattly.  But 
it  bean  Snuffy  Sam,  sho's  yo'  bo'n  !  My  ol'  mam- 
my she  cletch  him  fastuh  yit,  an'  she  gruzzle  at 
him  an'  say  : 

"  Yo'  onfortnit  sniffgozzlin'  nigguh,  yo' ! 
Whah  little  Teety's  neck  beads  ?  " 


Snuffy  Sam's  Kingdom.         281 

Snuffy  Sam  he  winch,  an'  he  slump  down,  an' 
he  say : 

"  Sh-h-h-h,  Rosybell  !  I  done  trade  'em  fo'  de 
kingdom  ! " 

i\[y  ol'  mammy  she  drap  Sam  an'  des'  squattle 
down  in  huh  cheeuh  an'  look  at  him,  'kaze  she 
cain't  speak.  She  t'ink  Sam  he  done  gone  outen 
he  haid,  sho'ly.  But  he  sheck  it  an'  say  he 
ain't. 

"  Shet  de  do',  Rosybell,"  he  say,  "  an'  I  done 
tell  yo'  all  about  it." 

jMammy  she  shet  de  do',  an'  Snuffy  Sam  he  sot 
down,  an"  dis  hyuh  bean  w'at  he  done  tell  huh, 
lack  she  tell  me,  many,  many  times. 

"  I  done  bean  t'inkin'  a  long  time,"  Snuffy 
Sam  he  say,  "  dat  I  gittin'  tahd  doin'  wuck  fo' 
udduh  folks,  an'  I  des'  meek  up  my  mind  I  sail 
away  fum  de  Cape  Fair  kentry  an'  go  'skivvuh 
an  island  summuhs  an'  be  de  king  of  it,  an' 
meek  folks  wuck  fo'  me.  I  snick  little  Teety's 
neck  beads,  'kaze  I  t'ink  mebbe  I  done  git  a 
queen,  an'  dem  dah  beads  dey  bean  des'  det'ing 
fo'  huh,  I  skrimmidge  away  in  Mahs'  Angus's 
canoe,  an'  I  sail  an'  I  sail.  I  git  'way  down  by 
de  'quatuh,  Rosybell,  an'  dah  I  t'ink  I  kin  teck 
a  breavin'  spell.     I  done  tie  de  canoe  to  'quatuh, 


282     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

an'  dah  I  rest  an'  rest  on  de  waves.  I  ain'  bean 
dah  only  little  w'ile,  w'en  I  see  a  mighty  shadow, 
an'  I  look  up.  Rosybell,  it  bean  a  monst'us  big 
fowl,  comin'  swoop,  swoop,  right  down  to'ds  me, 
an'  I  weesh  I  back  on  de  ol'  plahntation.  But 
dat  monst'us  fowl  it  ain't  attuh  me.  It  swosh  in 
de  ocean  right  by  de  canoe,  an'  I  see  dat  one  of 
its  mighty  wings  bean  hu't  despr'it.  I  he'p  dat 
po'  fowl  in  de  canoe,  an'  I  doctuh,  an'  doctuh, 
an'  doctuh  de  wing  till  it  done  git  well.  Dat 
fowl  so  t'ankful  dat  w'en  I  ontie  de  canoe 
fum  de  'quatuh  an'  sail  away  ag'in,  dat  fowl 
it  fly  an'  fly  'long  wiv  me  mo'n  a  hund'd  mile, 
an'  den  it  swoop  away  an'  lose  itseff  in  de 
sky,  an'  co'se  I  nevuh  did  spec'  to  see  dat  fowl 
no  mo. 

"  Bahmby,  Rosybell,  I  done  sight  Ian',  an'  I 
pull  dat  a-way,  an'  sho  !  it  bean  an  island  !  I 
swull  up  an'  feel  mighty  proud,  'kaze  I  'skivvuh 
de  island,  an'  I  reckon  I  des'  nuffin  less  dan  a 
king  dat  very  minute.  I  Ian'  on  de  sho'.  Duh 
bean  heaps  o'  san'  dah,  but  I  doan'  see  nobody 
resh  to  meet  me,  an'  I  des  gwan  to  git  in  de  canoe 
an'  sail  away  ag'in  w'en  I  heah  suffin'  grunt.  I 
tu'n  an'  look,  an'  mighty  Gabr'el,  Rosybell  ! 
dah   Stan'  a  pirate^  sho's  yo'  bo'n !     He  p'int  a 


Snuffy  Sam's  Kingdom.        283 

pistol  in  one  han',  an'  he  swish  a  big  knife  in  de 
udduh. 

"  '  Waffo'  yo'  scufflin'  'roun'  dis  hyuh  sho'  ? ' 
de  pirate  holluh. 

"  '  NuffinV  I  say  ;  '  only,  I  t'ink  mebbe  I  'skiv- 
vuh  it  an'  kin  be  its  king.' 

"  De  pirate  he  fotch  a  grozzle  way  down  in  he 
froat,  an'  it  meek  me  jump  lack  a  skeeuht  buck- 
rabbit,  Rosybell ;  an'  den  he  put  up  he  pistol  an' 
he  knife,  an'  he  say : 

"  '■  Duh  done  bean  a  king  on  dis  hyuh  island 
already,  suh,'  he  say.  '  But  dat  king  bean  fo' 
sale.' 

"  Den  de  pirate  he  tell  me  dat  de  king  he  got 
a  queen  an'  a  daughtuh,  but  de  daughtuh  bean 
de  queen's  step-daughtuh,  an'  de  queen  she  des' 
mo'  dan  hate  de  po'  gal. 

"  '  Yo'  des'  buy  out  de  king  an'  marry  the 
daughtuh,'  de  pirate  say,  '  an'  kick  de  queen 
off  de  island,  an'  den  de  island  done  bean  yo'n, 
suh,  an'  yo'  bean  de  king  till  yo'  die.' 

"  So  I  done  go  'long  wiv  dis  hyuh  pirate,  Rosy- 
bell,  on'  I  trade  Teety's  neck  beads  fo'  de  king- 
dom !  " 

Den  my  ol'  mammy  she  cain't  stan'  it  no  lon- 
guh,  an'  she  breck  in  on  Snuffy  Sam,  an'  she  cry  : 


284     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

"  Whah  de  kingdom,  den  ?  Wat  yo'  done  do 
wiv  dat  kingdom  w'at  yo'  trade  Teety's  neck 
beads  fo',  yo'  scrumbacious  nigguh,  yo'  ?  " 

Snuffy  Sam  he  look  skeeuht,  an'  he  whispuh  t 

*'  Sh-h-h-h,  Rosybell !  I  done  gwan  to  tellyo' 
all  'bout  it !  I  trade  de  beads  f  o'  de  kingdom,  an' 
I  des'  gwan  to  marry  de  king's  daughtuh  an' 
mount  de  throne  an'  wave  de  sceptuh,  w'en  w'at 
yo'  t'ink  ?  Dat  pirate  he  dona  teck  de  king  off  in 
de  woods  an'  knock  him  in  de  haid  !  Den  de 
pirate  done  marry  de  king's  widduh  an'  mount 
de  throne  he  ownseff !  Dat  de  monst'uses  out- 
ridge  I  evuh  do  heah  about !  An'  dat  pirate  he 
tie  me  on  de  back  of  a  big  snappin'  tuttle,  Rosy- 
bell,  an'  drive  de  tuttle  out  to  sea ! " 

Den  my  ol'  mammy  breck  in  on  Snuffy  Sam 
ag'in  an'  cry : 

'*  Sahvs  yo'  right,  yo'  w'ite  livuh  nigguh  yo ! 
Waffo  yo'  doan  grab  de  pirate's  pistol  an'  scattuh 
he  brains  on  de  sho',  an'  den  marry  de  king's 
daughtuh  an'  mount  de  throne  ?  W'at  yo'  done 
been  tinkin'  'bout,  yo'  po'  trash,  yo'  ? " 

''Sh-h-h-h,  Rosybell!"  Snuffy  Sam  he  say. 
I  done  grab  de  pistol,  but  it  tumble  in  de  sea  an' 
den  w'at  I  gwan  to  do  ?  De  tuttle  it  swum  an' 
it  swum  till   I  bean  des'  chokin'  an'  stahvin'  to 


Snuffy  Sam's  Kingdom.        285 

deff,  an'  I  weesh  I  back  on  de  ol'  plahntation,  I 
bet  yo' !  "  Des'  w'en  I  done  give  up  an'  shet  my 
eyes  to  die,  I  see  a  big  fowl  swoopin'  down  on 
me. 

"  Tucky  buzzard  !  "  I  cry.  "  It  cain't  wait  till 
I  die  'fo'  it  gwan  to  pick  de  meat  offen  my  po' 
bones ! " 

"  But  it  doan't  bean  a  tucky  buzzard,  Rosybell. 
It  done  bean  dat  mons'us  big  fowl  w'at  I  doctuh 
its  wing,  time  I  tie  de  canoe  to  de  'quatuh  !  Dat 
kyine  fowl  it  peck  dem  ropes  loose  w'at  hoi'  me 
fas'  to  de  tuttle,  an'  it  tow  me,  an'  Ian'  me  squah 
at  de  mouf  o'  de  Cape  Faih  Rivuh  ! 

"An'  hyuh  I  is,  Rosybell!  Des' yo' tote  de 
news  gently  to  Mahs'  Angus,  an'  tell  him  Snuffy 
Sam  bean  rejoicin'  from  he  haid  to  he  toes  to 
git  back  to  de  ol'  plahntation  an'  dat  he  woan' 
nevuh  leave  it  no  mo'." 

An'  my  ol'  mammy  she  tote  de  news  to  Mahs' 
Angus,  an'  he  so  pow'ful  glad  to  git  dat  nigguh 
back  dat  he  doan'  even  flog  him,  suh,  an'  he 
swah  he  mos'  have  a  notion  to  fit  up  a  vessel  an' 
sail  to  dat  island  whah  Snuffy  Sam  trade  Teety's 
neck  beads  fo'  de  kingdom,  an'  wipe  dat 
monst'us  pirate  off  de  face  de  erf.  But  he 
doan'  nevuh  do  it,  an'  dat  des'  w'at  stick  in  my 


286     The  Black  Homer  of  Jimtown. 

crap,  suh.  Why  doan'  Mahs'  Angus  do  dat  ? 
Ef  yo'  doan'  say  dat  ottuh  stick  in  my  crap,  den 
I  bet  yo'  t'ink  I  got  a  pow'ful  big  crap,  suh ! 
Dat's  w'at  I  bet  yo'  1 


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